Holding On To What Is left
I hate my way of feeling, so lost. I just want to be held in a genuine manner. To feel like..I'm not an ugly duckling.. I just really...want to never think so negatively of myself but it's so hard...because I feel like everyone I come across just wants to use me...break this fragile heart...tarnish this shell.
I don't feel wanted...just there...to pass the time and take up space until something better comes along. The urge to start cutting...or to start popping pills until I can't feel anything anymore is starting to overwhelm me. I don't think anyone else feels the same way I do...I don't want to waste away without knowing that someone...genuinely cares...that I sit here...day in and day out...all by myself...Is being wanted..not for my body or the fact that I'm even remotely interesting...is that not good enough? To be with someone and they not knowing what they want from the person...the relationship itself...or life.
I..want a fulfilling life...with a solid relationship ...someone that will love me for my flaws and imperfections. To tell me...they think I'm beautiful in their eyes...It doesn't do me any good to wish for something like that...
I don't feel wanted...just there...to pass the time and take up space until something better comes along. The urge to start cutting...or to start popping pills until I can't feel anything anymore is starting to overwhelm me. I don't think anyone else feels the same way I do...I don't want to waste away without knowing that someone...genuinely cares...that I sit here...day in and day out...all by myself...Is being wanted..not for my body or the fact that I'm even remotely interesting...is that not good enough? To be with someone and they not knowing what they want from the person...the relationship itself...or life.
I..want a fulfilling life...with a solid relationship ...someone that will love me for my flaws and imperfections. To tell me...they think I'm beautiful in their eyes...It doesn't do me any good to wish for something like that...