(no subject)
I'm so happy with this aspect of my life that It's a warm buzz. He makes me feel happy and warm and safe and at ease, and he brings out the best in me. It's like an overwhelming sense of rightness that I float on, that's strong enough to carry me even when I'm not with him. could this be love, I ask myself? what else could get me to quote silly songs to myself as I ponder deeper things? ...oh yeah, a lot of things. I'm gushy like that. It's trite to say this is different, and silly after only eight days. I'm so delighted hat it has only been eight days, because it has felt so much longer and I want to stretch the time. I want you to meet him, karna especially. as soon as I can make it work with scheduling and sneaky driving. and I'm not scared anymore about fickle sarah becoming jealous and trying to lure him back to her like a plaything she didn't like till it wasn't hers. she'd never get anywhere.
I'm going to go and visit my grandma in the morning, I'm scared. it's been a couple weeks and I know she's gotten worse. still,, I am anxious to see her, I miss her I want her to know that i love her, I don't think she knows it. I don't think she knows that I understand that she loves me. or maybe I don't give her enough credit, and she does realize love her. I'm not sure.
the vicodin I took for my aching back is making my head spin, though my back feels nice. Anyway, goodnight. I feel so good, drugged and loved is a food way to hit the sack.
I'm going to go and visit my grandma in the morning, I'm scared. it's been a couple weeks and I know she's gotten worse. still,, I am anxious to see her, I miss her I want her to know that i love her, I don't think she knows it. I don't think she knows that I understand that she loves me. or maybe I don't give her enough credit, and she does realize love her. I'm not sure.
the vicodin I took for my aching back is making my head spin, though my back feels nice. Anyway, goodnight. I feel so good, drugged and loved is a food way to hit the sack.