Parting from the sweet sparrow.
In the blitz I forgot to post my observations from Sunday morning's dawn sojourn along the Hayes bypass to sunny Heathrow:
Its amazing how a boy who struggles to drag his exhausted body out of bed for eleven o'clock on a normal Sunday can leap out at the first touch of a 05:00 maternal hand when it is time to go on a jolly^W "educational and cultural study trip" to San Francisco.
Driving to Heathrow before 06:00 Sunday took me only 20 mins. At 06:00 on a weekday it often takes an hour to reach that point of the journey to my Favourite Client South of the river.
Even at 06:00 on a Sunday there are traffic jams entering the airport. I knew this before I went, I don't know why it took me by surprise.
Acting as chaufeuse to one's treasures as they join Educational and Cultural Study Trips is an excellent opportunity to observe The Teenager in its natural habitat - surrounded by more teenagers.
'Where do we meet up with the others?' I asked. One pitying look made it clear that walking around terminal 1 was obviously not how it is done. This is what mobile phones are for.
I shouldn't have thought twice how about how I'd spot them. A gaggle of monosyllabic early-Sunday-morning teens were soon sighted, huddled together in 'waterhole mode' - ie together but watchful. Mobile phones stapled to their hands, shoulders loosely attached to their ears, heads bobbing up and down in a little cluster, like one of those hen pecking toys .
Any remaining doubt about their identity was removed by the sight of their characteristic rich and varied plumage (both silky and fluffy varieties, with and without early morning hair gel), a clear choice of baggy black trousers or close fitting jeans, oversized suitcases (they'll learn...), jumbo packs of Clearasil, game boys, mp3 players - all of life's little essentials.
When I listened carefully I could detect a low grade, grunting murmur. As I approached it became a louder low grade grunting murmur but amazingly no clearer. Babelfish covers many languages these days but alas I can't find Gruntese or Mumblese.
There was a 3m exclusion zone around the huddle, separating them from the few lingering parental units. Some of these lurked dangerously whilst clutching oversized vats of Coffee Republic's finest. The cause of the waterhole watchfulness was clear. At any moment one of these predators might strike with the dreaded kiss goodbye, or terrifying howls of 'don't forget to brush your hair', 'send a postcard to Grandma', 'text me when you arrive safely' or any other of the fearsome cries of the Parentus Walletus.
God help America.
If only I'd take a photographs of the elegant crew at dawn.
I fought my way through the cloud of boyish curls to get close enough to say goodbye. Having deposited the last remaining contents of my wallet, I was told I could go so I scuttled off with my vat of hot liquid and pain au chocolat for his sister. Herself was languishing at home, already pining desperately for her sibling, by planning an orgy of sleepovers with DVD sessions and copious amounts of Ben&Jerrys.
He doesn't have net access to read this until next week :-)
Its amazing how a boy who struggles to drag his exhausted body out of bed for eleven o'clock on a normal Sunday can leap out at the first touch of a 05:00 maternal hand when it is time to go on a jolly^W "educational and cultural study trip" to San Francisco.
Driving to Heathrow before 06:00 Sunday took me only 20 mins. At 06:00 on a weekday it often takes an hour to reach that point of the journey to my Favourite Client South of the river.
Even at 06:00 on a Sunday there are traffic jams entering the airport. I knew this before I went, I don't know why it took me by surprise.
Acting as chaufeuse to one's treasures as they join Educational and Cultural Study Trips is an excellent opportunity to observe The Teenager in its natural habitat - surrounded by more teenagers.
'Where do we meet up with the others?' I asked. One pitying look made it clear that walking around terminal 1 was obviously not how it is done. This is what mobile phones are for.
I shouldn't have thought twice how about how I'd spot them. A gaggle of monosyllabic early-Sunday-morning teens were soon sighted, huddled together in 'waterhole mode' - ie together but watchful. Mobile phones stapled to their hands, shoulders loosely attached to their ears, heads bobbing up and down in a little cluster, like one of those hen pecking toys .
Any remaining doubt about their identity was removed by the sight of their characteristic rich and varied plumage (both silky and fluffy varieties, with and without early morning hair gel), a clear choice of baggy black trousers or close fitting jeans, oversized suitcases (they'll learn...), jumbo packs of Clearasil, game boys, mp3 players - all of life's little essentials.
When I listened carefully I could detect a low grade, grunting murmur. As I approached it became a louder low grade grunting murmur but amazingly no clearer. Babelfish covers many languages these days but alas I can't find Gruntese or Mumblese.
There was a 3m exclusion zone around the huddle, separating them from the few lingering parental units. Some of these lurked dangerously whilst clutching oversized vats of Coffee Republic's finest. The cause of the waterhole watchfulness was clear. At any moment one of these predators might strike with the dreaded kiss goodbye, or terrifying howls of 'don't forget to brush your hair', 'send a postcard to Grandma', 'text me when you arrive safely' or any other of the fearsome cries of the Parentus Walletus.
God help America.
If only I'd take a photographs of the elegant crew at dawn.
I fought my way through the cloud of boyish curls to get close enough to say goodbye. Having deposited the last remaining contents of my wallet, I was told I could go so I scuttled off with my vat of hot liquid and pain au chocolat for his sister. Herself was languishing at home, already pining desperately for her sibling, by planning an orgy of sleepovers with DVD sessions and copious amounts of Ben&Jerrys.
He doesn't have net access to read this until next week :-)