(no subject)
Okay!
So who can I blame for my absence?
I'm sure you have all got your own fantasies of why I was away for so long.
For example, maybe you all thought I was whisked away by some hot, sexy man who lavished me in the finest of everything and only ever used the most delightfully smelling oils for lubricant.
...Okay wait, that's reality.
No wonder my ass smells like pot pourri.
So who can I blame for my absence?
I'm sure you have all got your own fantasies of why I was away for so long.
For example, maybe you all thought I was whisked away by some hot, sexy man who lavished me in the finest of everything and only ever used the most delightfully smelling oils for lubricant.
...Okay wait, that's reality.
No wonder my ass smells like pot pourri.