(no subject)
Many seasons have passed since I've actually been able to collect myself mentally and sit down to write down what it is that the voices in my head tell me to release into livejournal. Or "LJ". I haven't heard that acronymn in a very long time. I've been craving a good cranial release of a bunch of words that are supposed to come together to make things clearer for me. But, up until now, and including now, I lack confidence in my ability to be able to understand the life happenings. In actuality, yes I recognize that life is very good to me. I have the whole nine yards when it comes to the basics - love, food, shelter - but plain and simply, I'm bored. I'm lacking stimulation. I went back to my past journal entries from grade 12, and the feelings of wonder and excitement that were cursing through my blood at the moment. I still have that passion and eagerness to achieve. I'm ready to fill the void that would be made of something to be passionate and eager about. I'm in a routine lifestyle now, with most of my time spent learning about the human body, functions, chemical processes in enzymes, etc. All very interesting, very technical aspects, but am I passionate about it? mmm. Over the past two years, I've experienced so many amazing things with travelling, living away from home, coming home, and living up to my responsibility to be a good member of the family (whatever 'good' may be), a good friend, a good worker, a good student, a good person. I feel like I have room to be a much more feeling person, and that my perspective is so black and white now a days that I don't leave much room for those 'in-between' feelings. I just have to shake my head and see the light, where ever it is. I'm not in a dark place now, I just think that the light that I'm under now does not complement me.
Black & White
Then & Now
so frustrating.