The Night Santa Went Crazy
Down in the workshop,
All the elves were making toys.
For the good Gentile girls,
And the good Gentile boys.
When the boss busted in,
Nearly scared them half to death.
Had a rifle in his hands,
And cheap whiskey on his breath,
From his beard to his boots,
His was covered with ammo,
Like a big, fat, drunk, disgruntled,
Yule Tide Rambo.
And he smiled as he said,
With a twinkle in his eye,
"Merry Christmas to all,
Now you're all gonna die!"
The night Santa went crazy,
The night Saint Nick went insane,
Realized he'd been getting a raw deal,
Something must have finally snapped in his brain.
Well the workshop is gone now,
He decided to bomb it.
Everywhere you'll find pieces-
Of Cupid and Comet.
And he tied up his helpers,
And he held the elves hostage,
And he ground up poor Rudolph into-
Reindeer sausage!
He got Dancer and Prancer with an Old German Luger,
And he slashed up Dasher just like-
Freddy Krueger!
And he picked up a flame thrower,
And he barbequed Blitzen,
And he took a big bite and said,
"It tastes just like chicken!"
The night Santa went crazy,
The night Kris Kringle went nuts,
Now you can't hardly walk around the North Pole,
Without stepping in reindeer guts.
There's the National Guard and the FBI,
There's a van from the Eyewitness News,
And helicopters circling 'round the sky,
And the bullets are flying,
And the body count's rising.
And everyone's dying to know-
Oh, Santa, why?
My my my my my my,
You used to be such a jolly guy.
Yes, Virginia, now Santa's doing time,
In a federal prison for his infamous crime.
Hey, little friend, now don't you cry no more tears,
He'll be out with good behavior-
In 700 more years.
But now Vixen's in therapy,
And Donner's still nervous,
And the elves all got jobs working for the-
Postal Service!
And they say Mrs. Claus,
She's on the phone every night,
With her lawyer negotiating the movie rights.
They're talking 'bout-
The night Santa went crazy,
The night St. Nicholas flipped.
Broke his back for some milk and cookies,
Sounds to me like he was tired of getting gypped.
Wo! The night Santa went crazy,
The night St. Nick went insane,
Realized he's getting a raw deal,
Something must have finally snapped in his brain,
Wo! Something must have finally snapped in his brain,
Tell ya, Something must have finally snapped-
In his brain.
(c) Weird Al Yankovic
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
All the elves were making toys.
For the good Gentile girls,
And the good Gentile boys.
When the boss busted in,
Nearly scared them half to death.
Had a rifle in his hands,
And cheap whiskey on his breath,
From his beard to his boots,
His was covered with ammo,
Like a big, fat, drunk, disgruntled,
Yule Tide Rambo.
And he smiled as he said,
With a twinkle in his eye,
"Merry Christmas to all,
Now you're all gonna die!"
The night Santa went crazy,
The night Saint Nick went insane,
Realized he'd been getting a raw deal,
Something must have finally snapped in his brain.
Well the workshop is gone now,
He decided to bomb it.
Everywhere you'll find pieces-
Of Cupid and Comet.
And he tied up his helpers,
And he held the elves hostage,
And he ground up poor Rudolph into-
Reindeer sausage!
He got Dancer and Prancer with an Old German Luger,
And he slashed up Dasher just like-
Freddy Krueger!
And he picked up a flame thrower,
And he barbequed Blitzen,
And he took a big bite and said,
"It tastes just like chicken!"
The night Santa went crazy,
The night Kris Kringle went nuts,
Now you can't hardly walk around the North Pole,
Without stepping in reindeer guts.
There's the National Guard and the FBI,
There's a van from the Eyewitness News,
And helicopters circling 'round the sky,
And the bullets are flying,
And the body count's rising.
And everyone's dying to know-
Oh, Santa, why?
My my my my my my,
You used to be such a jolly guy.
Yes, Virginia, now Santa's doing time,
In a federal prison for his infamous crime.
Hey, little friend, now don't you cry no more tears,
He'll be out with good behavior-
In 700 more years.
But now Vixen's in therapy,
And Donner's still nervous,
And the elves all got jobs working for the-
Postal Service!
And they say Mrs. Claus,
She's on the phone every night,
With her lawyer negotiating the movie rights.
They're talking 'bout-
The night Santa went crazy,
The night St. Nicholas flipped.
Broke his back for some milk and cookies,
Sounds to me like he was tired of getting gypped.
Wo! The night Santa went crazy,
The night St. Nick went insane,
Realized he's getting a raw deal,
Something must have finally snapped in his brain,
Wo! Something must have finally snapped in his brain,
Tell ya, Something must have finally snapped-
In his brain.
(c) Weird Al Yankovic
MERRY CHRISTMAS!