JB5
After searching many galaxies and finding no planets not worth blowing up, we have stumbled across a very promising blue one. We took a closer look by zooming in on a densely populated area with the OmegaTron Zoomy-Scope 9000 and couldn’t see a thing. So we just used Mapquest. Our findings indicate a large number of roads and other typical structures. Judging by the complexity of the layout of these roads we have concluded that the inhabitants of this blue planet use some type of advanced transportation. From the sheer number of these roads there must be many transports using them which means lots of fuel must be consumed. This is more than enough information for us to not destroy this planet. Normally we would try to negotiate some sort of peace talks with a planet like this but we have enough allies across the universe. And since all we really want are their fossil fuels, we’re going to invade this planet. They will pathetically resist but we’re going to send our full forces anyway just for fun. Hopefully this will go better than the raid on Blargon 47; I still haven’t gotten the feeling back in my left mouth. Anyway, my capital ship will lead the assault with 1,000 legions of battle cruisers behind me to get whatever I miss. The robosapiens will then go in to eliminate any survivors. This procedure will be duplicated by my colleagues over all the other densely populated areas. The sparsely populated and underdeveloped areas will be left for my son and his friends to get some killing practice. My father did the same for me on my 10th birthday as did his father and his father before him. Plus, after all that cake and ice cream he’s going to need to blow off some energy. If everything goes as planned, the planet and its resources should be ours in less than two rotations of this planet. We have scanned all the other planets in this solar system and none of them were worth our time. Now that we have used the only planet here of any value, this solar system is no longer useful to us. We have noticed that the star here is of optimal size to fit into the Sun Ray. Since it’s out of ammo anyway, we’ll simply load this medium sized star into it and in one blast disintegrate this obsolete solar system into nothingness. I love this job.
Word Count: 411
Word Count: 411