Men's Group
Catholic Campus Ministry (CCM) had our fortnight Men's Group Meeting this afternoon. The reading for the meeting was on vulnerability: how we, as men (given the context of a "Men's Group" discussion), are culturalized to be closed, critical, and competitive; how this inevitably leaves us grasping tightly to what we think we need and deserve; and how to be a fully actualized person we must be open to give and recieve freely.
This lead me to think about the central tenant of Buddism which is a detatchment from possessiveness. All things are transient and it is foolish, neigh self-destructive, to attempt to tabernacle anything for eternity.
Furthermore, I observed how we, as men (given the context of a "Men's Group" discussion), have trouble asking for and offering help; that by requesting help me acknowledge our own inabilities and vulnerability, leaving ourselves open to criticism, dept, and dependence on another; and that by offering help to another man we make an indirect accusation against the man's self-reliance and power. In other words, by saying "Do you need my help?" it is like saying "You need help" or "I don't think you can do this yourself". Culturalized insecurity? Definitely.
We all related stories of refusing help when we really needed it and times when we had to watch by as a friend spiralled into self-destruction because they would not ask for or accept help.
This of course lead back to the therapy that a communal faith can offer. Before we even direct the request to any God or higher being we first simply acknowledge our own brokeness and inabilities and seek help from outside our own egos. This is the first major step in most 5-Step programs and that is no surpise.
In conclusion we discussed how vulnerability is a fact, not a choice, and that what we can decide is whether or not to accept our dependence and powerlessness. This does not mean that we should be or are imcompetant or weak, but that everything we have, down to our very lives, is a gift; we did not and cannot ask for all that we have; imagine asking your parents to be born!
That was the jist of our hour long meeting. We made a final pitch for the "Men's Retreat" next weekend (May 15th-17th). I find it either ironic or appropriate in a very liberal sense that I am a leader on this particular retreat. John (my boss) and I often joke that if it were up to us we would make the whole retreat into a giant Spa-Day. Sadly we have certain responcibilites to those who fund us and to those "manly-men" who might be looking for something more "traditional". In end I suspect that it will land in a nice median.
And no, I don't think women can come on the retreat although nothing would give me more pleasure and we would likely double our number if we let women come, despite (or because of) naming it a "Men's Retreat".
This lead me to think about the central tenant of Buddism which is a detatchment from possessiveness. All things are transient and it is foolish, neigh self-destructive, to attempt to tabernacle anything for eternity.
Furthermore, I observed how we, as men (given the context of a "Men's Group" discussion), have trouble asking for and offering help; that by requesting help me acknowledge our own inabilities and vulnerability, leaving ourselves open to criticism, dept, and dependence on another; and that by offering help to another man we make an indirect accusation against the man's self-reliance and power. In other words, by saying "Do you need my help?" it is like saying "You need help" or "I don't think you can do this yourself". Culturalized insecurity? Definitely.
We all related stories of refusing help when we really needed it and times when we had to watch by as a friend spiralled into self-destruction because they would not ask for or accept help.
This of course lead back to the therapy that a communal faith can offer. Before we even direct the request to any God or higher being we first simply acknowledge our own brokeness and inabilities and seek help from outside our own egos. This is the first major step in most 5-Step programs and that is no surpise.
In conclusion we discussed how vulnerability is a fact, not a choice, and that what we can decide is whether or not to accept our dependence and powerlessness. This does not mean that we should be or are imcompetant or weak, but that everything we have, down to our very lives, is a gift; we did not and cannot ask for all that we have; imagine asking your parents to be born!
That was the jist of our hour long meeting. We made a final pitch for the "Men's Retreat" next weekend (May 15th-17th). I find it either ironic or appropriate in a very liberal sense that I am a leader on this particular retreat. John (my boss) and I often joke that if it were up to us we would make the whole retreat into a giant Spa-Day. Sadly we have certain responcibilites to those who fund us and to those "manly-men" who might be looking for something more "traditional". In end I suspect that it will land in a nice median.
And no, I don't think women can come on the retreat although nothing would give me more pleasure and we would likely double our number if we let women come, despite (or because of) naming it a "Men's Retreat".