(no subject)
My quandry: How to use this journal.
When life is going smooth and lots is going on, I am too busy enjoying it to write.
When life is problematic, I don't like writing my thoughts and feelings on public forums.
When I have something to say to people, I prefer to do it one on one. Plus vague references to people and events bother me.
My general interests, i.e. literature, poetry, and role-playing, most people aren't too interested in.
Mostly I break down and make logs of what I have been up to. This has some worth, especially for social record keeping. Or I could ramble.
This is generally true with even my paper journals. They usually just end up with doodles, poems, and random things I want to remember but then later forget I even wrote down. I wish I WAS keeping more active journals, for they are fantastic historical treasure troves. Not to say my life would or will have much historical consequence or general interest, but honestly very little history actually is. There is so much time and work done in the history world which no one but a select group of researchers even care about. I digress.
Unable to discover some additional use for my journal I shall log and possibly ramble (took care of that a bit already).
___________________________________________________________________________
I am in California visiting my Dad. First time all summer I have had more then one day off in a row. I've mostly been sleeping and reading. It's perfect! Really I don't care too much about "getting away" cause really I would have been just as happy at home if I had the same week off. I probably would have done some much needed cleaning as well. Plus I got to do some flying (which I love), went to the beach (yay water...YAY BIKINI SEASON (to be completely honest)), and went to Universal Studios (Shrek 4D is still awesome).
My sister is being corrupted by my Father's girlfriend's daughter. Though that might be too passive of a statement....and I am not sure how much she was already corrupt. In anycase its entertaining, and isnt entertainment what its all about?
Katie is back from Rome. Honestly, I didn't realize how much I missed her until she got back. I randomly broke out in tears a few days after she was back about it and while I was crying I was still like "what the fuck? must have been building this up over the last three weeks" Do you like how I spelled that out and didn't just use "wtf?" I made a point of it. Why? Why even point out that I made a point of it? Hm....wrote myself into a corner on that one.
I've been reading "Good Omens" by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett. The post-modern-pseudo-ironic/british sense of humor has infected me and I pain that it's never nearly as funny when I do it. Or rather TRY to do anything funny. Besides funny faces I am mostly funny at uncontrolable and unplanned momments. I can never be a stand-up comic. Okay that is A TOTAL LIE. I COULD be a stand-up comic and probably be just as good as most stand-up comics. Which is to say most comics that aren't Big Names aren't Big Names because they suck. I have found some good imrpov comics, but most stand-up comics I have seen in and around the Lincoln Park area really are not funny. Could be a location or a timing thing, or it could be a sucking thing.
Dark Knight rocks. I was just thinking about that a lot today. It really does.
Lots of people are angry at lots of people. Which is not a hypocracy (even though I am often hypcritical, aren't we all?) because I really do mean this on a very large scale. Maybe its because its what most people find worth/easy to make conversation about, but most people I have talked to these last couple weeks are particulalry angry at someone or someones. What do I gain from stating this piece of common knowledge? Nothing particuarly and my journal will probably never have any sort of public or private influence (beside a few unexpected outliers).
What I will say is what I have been saying as often as I can when these conversations come up: We must try hard to forgive each other and make a mends or else every relationship is doomed to failure. This isnt to say that people dont have the right to be angry and that what people do isn't unjust, disrespectful, etc. It may be preachy, but what dream for a better circumstance isn't a little? I say it for my own sake. I just want to believe that relationships can last. I have plenty of examples to doubt it. Honestly most relationships won't last and those that make it long enough, end with death. And its probably for the best that a lot of relationships DO END long before death because plenty of relationships are abusive to one or more parties and each are better off going their own way..... Regardless, it all comes down to "be humble, merciful, and above all love". Even if no one reads this, it's worth writing so that I can keep reading it myself.
Most people are full of beauty, goodness, and truth. Most people are hurting somehow. Most deserve love.
Most? Because I am too cowardly and lack the mutual powers of strength and grace to sincerly say Everyone.
Plus I'm avoiding sounding too preachy and cleche. Fuck it though, I am yet to see or hear an entirely original idea my whole life.
Anyway, I don't think its terribly idealistic or foolish to think its worth trying to be better or to reinforce the belief through one's journal.
Fini
When life is going smooth and lots is going on, I am too busy enjoying it to write.
When life is problematic, I don't like writing my thoughts and feelings on public forums.
When I have something to say to people, I prefer to do it one on one. Plus vague references to people and events bother me.
My general interests, i.e. literature, poetry, and role-playing, most people aren't too interested in.
Mostly I break down and make logs of what I have been up to. This has some worth, especially for social record keeping. Or I could ramble.
This is generally true with even my paper journals. They usually just end up with doodles, poems, and random things I want to remember but then later forget I even wrote down. I wish I WAS keeping more active journals, for they are fantastic historical treasure troves. Not to say my life would or will have much historical consequence or general interest, but honestly very little history actually is. There is so much time and work done in the history world which no one but a select group of researchers even care about. I digress.
Unable to discover some additional use for my journal I shall log and possibly ramble (took care of that a bit already).
___________________________________________________________________________
I am in California visiting my Dad. First time all summer I have had more then one day off in a row. I've mostly been sleeping and reading. It's perfect! Really I don't care too much about "getting away" cause really I would have been just as happy at home if I had the same week off. I probably would have done some much needed cleaning as well. Plus I got to do some flying (which I love), went to the beach (yay water...YAY BIKINI SEASON (to be completely honest)), and went to Universal Studios (Shrek 4D is still awesome).
My sister is being corrupted by my Father's girlfriend's daughter. Though that might be too passive of a statement....and I am not sure how much she was already corrupt. In anycase its entertaining, and isnt entertainment what its all about?
Katie is back from Rome. Honestly, I didn't realize how much I missed her until she got back. I randomly broke out in tears a few days after she was back about it and while I was crying I was still like "what the fuck? must have been building this up over the last three weeks" Do you like how I spelled that out and didn't just use "wtf?" I made a point of it. Why? Why even point out that I made a point of it? Hm....wrote myself into a corner on that one.
I've been reading "Good Omens" by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett. The post-modern-pseudo-ironic/british sense of humor has infected me and I pain that it's never nearly as funny when I do it. Or rather TRY to do anything funny. Besides funny faces I am mostly funny at uncontrolable and unplanned momments. I can never be a stand-up comic. Okay that is A TOTAL LIE. I COULD be a stand-up comic and probably be just as good as most stand-up comics. Which is to say most comics that aren't Big Names aren't Big Names because they suck. I have found some good imrpov comics, but most stand-up comics I have seen in and around the Lincoln Park area really are not funny. Could be a location or a timing thing, or it could be a sucking thing.
Dark Knight rocks. I was just thinking about that a lot today. It really does.
Lots of people are angry at lots of people. Which is not a hypocracy (even though I am often hypcritical, aren't we all?) because I really do mean this on a very large scale. Maybe its because its what most people find worth/easy to make conversation about, but most people I have talked to these last couple weeks are particulalry angry at someone or someones. What do I gain from stating this piece of common knowledge? Nothing particuarly and my journal will probably never have any sort of public or private influence (beside a few unexpected outliers).
What I will say is what I have been saying as often as I can when these conversations come up: We must try hard to forgive each other and make a mends or else every relationship is doomed to failure. This isnt to say that people dont have the right to be angry and that what people do isn't unjust, disrespectful, etc. It may be preachy, but what dream for a better circumstance isn't a little? I say it for my own sake. I just want to believe that relationships can last. I have plenty of examples to doubt it. Honestly most relationships won't last and those that make it long enough, end with death. And its probably for the best that a lot of relationships DO END long before death because plenty of relationships are abusive to one or more parties and each are better off going their own way..... Regardless, it all comes down to "be humble, merciful, and above all love". Even if no one reads this, it's worth writing so that I can keep reading it myself.
Most people are full of beauty, goodness, and truth. Most people are hurting somehow. Most deserve love.
Most? Because I am too cowardly and lack the mutual powers of strength and grace to sincerly say Everyone.
Plus I'm avoiding sounding too preachy and cleche. Fuck it though, I am yet to see or hear an entirely original idea my whole life.
Anyway, I don't think its terribly idealistic or foolish to think its worth trying to be better or to reinforce the belief through one's journal.
Fini