(no subject)
i totally gained at lollapalooza. i haven't weighed myself yet, but i totally gained. drank like 4 beers the whole time so that wasn't much, and then around 4 shots of tequila. THEN i smoked a shitload of weed all weekend, one night chris and i were really high all of a sudden and went to walgreens and bought a bunch of candy haha. we ate out 1 or 2 meals a day and ate 3 meals a day. not to mention the box of cereal we ate in a single day and everything everything everything else. i'm not too upset because it was an amazing time, but it's just a downer to be back home and thinking about this again. today ought to have been a down day but i got hungry and convinced myself i should give myself a day to ease back into normal eating. i've eaten about 740 calories today. i wonder if i should skip out on JUDDDD and just restrict under 1000 all the time, because i hardly ever eat over that anyway. but that's just me being a little bitch about dieting again. why do i have to like food so much? what bullshit.
oh, and i kinda lied. because i weighed myself last night after eating a shitload all day, and still in my clothes, and i was 127. so i probably didn't gain much. whatever, i'll weigh myself probably tonight and in the morning. i weigh myself up to like 6 times daily. is that weird?
i'm at work. 40 minutes to go. about to load myself up on water and smoke a cig so i have enough time for the smell to wear off me before chris comes to pick me up. and i won't be hungry. i hate hiding it from him and i hate smoking so much but i can't tell him it's all about losing weight. when i'm skinny i won't be so insecure.
oh and i think i am going to the YMCA today.
oh, and i kinda lied. because i weighed myself last night after eating a shitload all day, and still in my clothes, and i was 127. so i probably didn't gain much. whatever, i'll weigh myself probably tonight and in the morning. i weigh myself up to like 6 times daily. is that weird?
i'm at work. 40 minutes to go. about to load myself up on water and smoke a cig so i have enough time for the smell to wear off me before chris comes to pick me up. and i won't be hungry. i hate hiding it from him and i hate smoking so much but i can't tell him it's all about losing weight. when i'm skinny i won't be so insecure.
oh and i think i am going to the YMCA today.