00104.NowMoreLater

[hydrateordie]

the turtle turns out it doesn't matter how drunk your friends are, they will all drive hme if they are pissy- well, at least the msot important onoe- even if you offer to walk her. I am dead... killed by myself, due to others. A tool for usage and utility. Durability is not a factor, nor is emotion. A break in the structure. A break will do more harm than good, lack of interaction. Never right, always correct. I am despised and disliked. I will sleep like a rock tonight- stiff and cold. I am a corpse. Eloquence is what I try, confusion is what I get- the blunt tool I fall back on and the steak in my heart. There is no heart, no humor. Worthless is the mind that I mold, fuck job is the job I must fold. Its not a point of when someone did a thing for me, it is when I did something it allowed lenience in using a washing machine or stating my opinion n how computers are used. Trivial are these thing which decay the rest, so trivial must be me. A question, a statement- a dog. Alley, without care. Roaming, searching. An old man in the hills, quick of temper and a disguised agenda for guidance of another. Eyes gouged, rejected again, door slams and the mold grows on the north side of a sleeping rock. Nothing matters, I am the Eddie. I take it and give more. Withheld information: the pattern of relation and emotion define my work and my academics, not the there way around. I was asked to stop ding physics the other day. mice Someone stood up for me in the first time in a VERY long time saying- “… but it is Eddie, he works insane hours and his mind never stops doing his studies”. I was a complement. Appreciation, and distinguistment above others, not below them. For this same reason computers are key to driving change, even over the Magna Carta. Yet the other side wishes to argue and not reason, threaten and not listen. Who understands how the code works, let alone how it is produced, why, in what language, and so many other concepts that drive the mind. What happened to government? Does it matter if a computer crashes- or does it matter more what the mind achieved and expanded in knowledge. When patterns, what relations- to more than computers but to real life. One is placing themselves in an environment while reading, but one creates the environment to place themselves in and test while coding. A print is for the transfer of data, and a computer is for the expansion of data as well as the transmission. Books are programmed. Programs are written. Ironies that can be offered more readily with code than with lines of print. Anger is a displacement, not of pages and words, but of garbage management. You can skip a page, but what about skipping a line of code? Fundamentals, underlying necessities, alley dogs and brethren of the rejected. Why then does it hurt, why then is it my entire fault, instead of just part. This is a reoccurrence of object code that was compiled before. The only other option is a bridge. Tonight I drink more than water. Is a human being a distinguished, or an elemental? Some run from fear, but some run toward it. Is it frightening, this concept? Pain, must be accepted and manipulated. The best of ever situation is sometimes realizing the worst beforehand. She has changed to need a break, a break from "listening to me" or rather from interpretig against. tonight i feast n the most importnt things in life- relationships. I envelop the second most important- self ability to overcome. tonight i choose the form of physical pain.
エディ-EdDIe LeWIs