In Search Of New Dreams, A Love That Can Last

Jan 15, 2009 19:14

So I've met a really interesting person... unfathomably so. There have been several times during our conversations that I've had to stop, understand, comprehend, be unabashedly awed, and then resume. I'm totally infatuated with this guy, and am sporting a major crush (like, totally haven't felt this way since high school, dig?!).

Naturally with all things of the heart, there are numerous complexities that vex any attempt at something more than friends. Primarily, he's taken - and getting involved there is just something I won't/can't/won't do. I might wish, as one does when one has watched The Witches of Eastwick too many times, that certain events might arrange themselves in my favour and for myself not to be the villain... but not very strongly because that would be wrong (and lead to my being forced to adopt more Cher-like qualities than I already possess).

I also don't want to take advantage of any particular flaw in their relationship, whether it be by drawing it out in conversation ("oh dear, he shouldn't have done that") or simply playing off it as a strength of mine ("well, *I'd* never do that"). If anything does happen (*not wishing*), it shouldn't be anything to do with me. *sigh* It's a tough game to play, but at the end of the day I don't feel I'd be chasing after something if it weren't attainable - or maybe the infatuation just hasn't worn off yet, and I haven't had to face the reality of "not yours".

Anyway, I just wanted to share that feeling; the madness that is the 'crush' - wanting something so badly though never to actually get it lest the reality be not what you imagined, and still going for it regardless.

Until next time.

7:30pm
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