Alright, I'm going to try this.

[hybrid_psionics]

I don’t know how to start. I got the idea to do something like this a while ago. I mean, how do you even write something like this? How do you put everything that you are into words? Beware: this is going to be a very disjointed read, anyone reads it at all

Comments

[luxylyx]

You are going to need to grow a tougher skin and realize that there are billions of people are out there. One girl or one friend not liking you should not demolish you in the long run. You deserve someone that is going to treat you with respect.

In turn, you also need to listen to people and take into account what they say. If many people are saying the same thing, then yes, you need to take that into account, even if it seems out of character to you. In fact Id be surprised if it didn't seem out of character as we as individuals don't change easily. Most people are afraid of change. They are comfortable in their own misery and are fearful of the unknown.

I'd say that you are very co-dependant and are comfortable with being trampled on cause you feel that is all you deserve. Just being nice and dependable will get you no where with people because you are not taking care of No. 1, which is you.

My additional advice: See a professional counselor to help you with this. In leiu of that, read more of Heartless Bitch under the nice guys section. It is really harsh, but if you want the nitty gritty truth, there is no better place to get it. Look at how people are treating you, if they are not taking your feelings into account, talk to them. However, be realistic about what you expect from them. They have lives as well, and their lives do not always involve you. If a agreeable conclusion cannot be found, fuck em. Who cares?

[hybrid_psionics]

I know I deserve people that will treat me with respect. I've had a lot of people tell me lately that if this is how they are going to react to what I did and how I feel, then they weren't really friends to begin with, regardless of how long the friendship was. I talked to a friend today that went through a very similar situation and told me that right now, it'll be tough to deal with, but eventually I'll be thankful that I shed those people form my life. Actually, over the past couple of days, I've started to realize that a lot of the reason why I felt so down on myself was because that's how those people were treating me. The way that I'm feeling right now is my own fault; if I can shake off this residual emotion, I think I'll be great. I won't have people in my life that constantly put me down.

I'm not comfortable with being trampled on. That's why I wrote this. I want to be treated better, and I KNOW I deserve better, especially with how I treat damn near everyone I know with the utmost respect and civility (though I can become a little hot under the collar when they start to push certain buttons, which is actually a relatively new development and one of the reasons why I've landed myself with now friends).

There's a lot to the situation that I'm not explaining. I'm not really doing it justice. There were a lot of factors involved, what, with me being immensely stressed and pressured, and feeling like I had to deal with all of these things at one time. It was hell, and I was stretched too thin (I like to use that metaphor because that's how it felt; it felt like there were a hundred things pulling me in all different directions).