somehow I missed this post last week...I never read it. Strange.dissemblerMarch 7 2006, 18:24:44 UTC
Hope is an interesting concept--we will have to talk for a while about this one. For now, I'll just write a bit about what I do with hope.
I allow myself to want and hope for things...even ones that will most likely not occur--(an end to this war, that people will be nice to eachother, that I'll have enough money for the next meditation retreat etc.). I believe that the act of wanting, hoping and asking for something creates a situation that lets it more easily happen (uh oh, it's my magical thinking again--smile). No, it's not really magical (well, a bit of it is) but I mean...if you don't have any hope that the war can end--you might skip the peace rally and maybe if you went to the rally something would lead you to do something else that would lead to something else that would end up helping stop the war. make sense? At the same time that I hope for something I try to be neither attached to it happening nor expect it to happen. That part of the practice is difficult but I love training my brain--it's one of my favorite things. (Well, until recently when I turned into someone with absolutely no control over anything about me--but I assuming that will level out to some degree).
So, I practice a sort of hope without hope or expectation. (when I am conscious about it).
Re: somehow I missed this post last week...I never read it. Strange.hyarrostarMarch 7 2006, 20:16:55 UTC
Ah...distracting me again. Kristin was passing out a test just as I got the fwd of your comment.
I've been aware of a thread of reasoning that says that prayer and voodoo - and hope, I guess - work on that semi-mystical principle you refer to. Somehow the act of putting the force of your desire behind some possibility increases the likelihood of the thing happening. An angry hex focuses the anger, puts it out into the world. If you know you've been hexed, you might make mistakes that helps the bad things happen to you, and maybe there's a more unscientific process involved as well (I'm probably not as opposed to magical thinking as you'd guess).
I'm tempted to say that there needs to be some kind of attachment or expectation in order to make the hope real, to make the magic happen. Hope without that deep gut-level yearning is too passive and ethereal.
On the other hand, hope without expectation is exactly what I am trying to cultivate in myself (amongst other things). I need to believe that what I want is possible, but I don't want my hope to be tied to closely to particular events that might not happen. But this seems like a defense mechanism, a way of being carefull. In this case is it or is it not better to be reckless?
So when we train our brains, when we consciously change, are we being true to ourselves? How do we reconcile being ourselves with being who we wish to be?
Re: somehow I missed this post last week...I never read it. Strange.dissemblerMarch 8 2006, 06:01:19 UTC
yeah, I've been thinking about the "being myself vs. who I wish to be" problem. I don't know how it will work out in the end. I do know that my whole life I have been training my brain (in various ways) while reaching and striving to be who I want to be...and I am done for a while. I am just going to be me--exactly what I am now. I am going to accept the 31 years of fucked up shit, 18 years of christian brainwashing, 14 years of therapy, many years of excessive philosophical thinking, etc.etc. and whatever the mixture of that has turned me into I'm just going to accept. [sorry, for that slight freak-out].
In terms of being reckless or careful etc. It seems like one can be hopeful and reckless while still not having expectations. I mean it depends what part you are reckless about. I also think that it is always fine to be reckless with hope etc. and have expectations--there is nothing "wrong" with it--it just breaks your heart more often.
I allow myself to want and hope for things...even ones that will most likely not occur--(an end to this war, that people will be nice to eachother, that I'll have enough money for the next meditation retreat etc.). I believe that the act of wanting, hoping and asking for something creates a situation that lets it more easily happen (uh oh, it's my magical thinking again--smile). No, it's not really magical (well, a bit of it is) but I mean...if you don't have any hope that the war can end--you might skip the peace rally and maybe if you went to the rally something would lead you to do something else that would lead to something else that would end up helping stop the war. make sense? At the same time that I hope for something I try to be neither attached to it happening nor expect it to happen. That part of the practice is difficult but I love training my brain--it's one of my favorite things. (Well, until recently when I turned into someone with absolutely no control over anything about me--but I assuming that will level out to some degree).
So, I practice a sort of hope without hope or expectation. (when I am conscious about it).
Reply
I've been aware of a thread of reasoning that says that prayer and voodoo - and hope, I guess - work on that semi-mystical principle you refer to. Somehow the act of putting the force of your desire behind some possibility increases the likelihood of the thing happening. An angry hex focuses the anger, puts it out into the world. If you know you've been hexed, you might make mistakes that helps the bad things happen to you, and maybe there's a more unscientific process involved as well (I'm probably not as opposed to magical thinking as you'd guess).
I'm tempted to say that there needs to be some kind of attachment or expectation in order to make the hope real, to make the magic happen. Hope without that deep gut-level yearning is too passive and ethereal.
On the other hand, hope without expectation is exactly what I am trying to cultivate in myself (amongst other things). I need to believe that what I want is possible, but I don't want my hope to be tied to closely to particular events that might not happen. But this seems like a defense mechanism, a way of being carefull. In this case is it or is it not better to be reckless?
So when we train our brains, when we consciously change, are we being true to ourselves? How do we reconcile being ourselves with being who we wish to be?
Reply
In terms of being reckless or careful etc.
It seems like one can be hopeful and reckless while still not having expectations. I mean it depends what part you are reckless about. I also think that it is always fine to be reckless with hope etc. and have expectations--there is nothing "wrong" with it--it just breaks your heart more often.
Reply
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