(no subject)
I don't really have time to be doing this, but today I just don't care. I'm feeling all pissy today. Maybe cranky isn't quite right (I'm not all all red and frowny like the little mood guy.) Somebody spelled my name wrong today, grrr. Ok, so you know my name, you know how to pronounce it. Why don't you at least spell it like it sounds?
Note to self: seven hours of sleep not quite enough. Why am I waking up at 7:15 every day? My theory is that the people upstairs are stirring at that time. Bastards.
Several times today, I felt like I could cry. WTF?
Part of it is this stupid job. Yeah, it pays well, it looks good on the resume, and maybe it's good experience (I'm starting to wonder about that). But there's too much bullshit. Lately I've been having fun just being myself. I can do that (most of the time) at my other job, but not at the [place name omitted]. I guess that's one of the more general things I've been thinking about, bullshit. Sure, when I have to write a paper that I'm not interested in, I drop a big load, and if it's an impressive pile, then I'm happy. Sure, if I have a job interview, or I have to meet some asshole that I don't want to rub the wrong way, and if I can schmooze, then it's fun. But I find it emotionally taxing, and it gets old really fast. The thing is that I can't always tell right away if I can just be myself with people. Uh, the words are flowing too slowish. I better go back to work.
Oh, some good stuff did happen already today. This morning some random dude told me "good morning" while I was walking (with earbuds, so that's what I think he said.) And a guy sneezed in the computer lab, and some girl said bless you. (And I think it's a stupid automatic meaningless ritual, but it was still nice). And I showed a patron around the real library, and he told me exactly what he wanted to know, and make it very easy to help him even though I was retarded.
Note to self: seven hours of sleep not quite enough. Why am I waking up at 7:15 every day? My theory is that the people upstairs are stirring at that time. Bastards.
Several times today, I felt like I could cry. WTF?
Part of it is this stupid job. Yeah, it pays well, it looks good on the resume, and maybe it's good experience (I'm starting to wonder about that). But there's too much bullshit. Lately I've been having fun just being myself. I can do that (most of the time) at my other job, but not at the [place name omitted]. I guess that's one of the more general things I've been thinking about, bullshit. Sure, when I have to write a paper that I'm not interested in, I drop a big load, and if it's an impressive pile, then I'm happy. Sure, if I have a job interview, or I have to meet some asshole that I don't want to rub the wrong way, and if I can schmooze, then it's fun. But I find it emotionally taxing, and it gets old really fast. The thing is that I can't always tell right away if I can just be myself with people. Uh, the words are flowing too slowish. I better go back to work.
Oh, some good stuff did happen already today. This morning some random dude told me "good morning" while I was walking (with earbuds, so that's what I think he said.) And a guy sneezed in the computer lab, and some girl said bless you. (And I think it's a stupid automatic meaningless ritual, but it was still nice). And I showed a patron around the real library, and he told me exactly what he wanted to know, and make it very easy to help him even though I was retarded.