"Subtitles in real time! How cool is that?"
LET'S TALK ABOUT THE GREATEST THING TO HAPPEN TO MY DAY.
THINGS I ENJOYED. EVERYTHING. FUCKING EVERYTHING. Okay, that's a lie. But let's break it down. First, MAGGIE Q, BE MORE AWESOME, WHY DON'T YOU? ACTUALLY, THAT SHIT IS FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE BECAUSE BITCH IS SO FIERCE.
This episode had great plot and great character development and I'm glad they resolved all the weird editing issues they had in the first two episodes. The case of the week was interesting and VICTOR HAN. I FELT FOR YOU. I WAS SYMPATHETIC AND A LITTLE TEARY-EYED AND THEN, TWIIIIIIIIST. I didn't call it! But I don't even care. WE HAD ACTUAL CANTONESE SPEAKERS SPEAKING CANTONESE, WHAT UPPPPPPP. And Maggie Q's Canto isn't great, but I figure it's like ABC Canto where you can still figure out what's going on, but some tones are wonky? I don't even care. CANTONESE CONVERSATIONSSSSSSSSSSSS. And only one moment was of Swanky White Person speaking Chinese badly - and hello, subtitles people, your subtitles were OUT OF SYNC. Fix that shit.
That being said, the Victor Han storyline was super interesting, even if it did fall into traditional crime show patterns of the Chinese Triads and whatever. But the actor they got to play Victor was just brilliant and so spot on. He played every note amazingly. And his last conversation with Nikita was just. Ugh, blew my socks off. Him saying that they're similar because they were both living lies and her face and then PEANUT OIL WITH HER LIPSTICK - MY GIRL IS SO SMART, SHE IS SUCH A BELIEVABLE SPY I LOVE THIS BITCH I LOVE THIS BITCH I LOVE THIS BITCH I LOVE THIS BITCH.
BUT REALLY. WE ALL KNOW WHY KAREN IS INVOLVED WITH THIS SHIT. OTP TIMESSSSSSSSSSSSSS. OH MY GOD SO MANY. SO MANY. THE FLASHBACKSSSSSSSSSSSS! YES! NIKITA BACKSTORY! YESSSSSSSSSSSSS. THE MORE MAGGIE Q IS ON MY SCREEN, THE FUCKING BETTER. AND MICHAEL/NIKITA TIMES OMG. HIM ON TOP OF HER. OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD. I WAS FLAILING IN MY ROOM GOING WHY ARE NONE OF MY FRIENDS ON THE INTERNET RIGHT NOW OMG while I'm sure that my suitemates thought I was crazy. I don't care. THEY WERE FLIRTY AND FIGHTING AND FLIRTY AND FIGHTING AND HE SAVED HER LIFE AND SHE SAVED HIS LIFE AND THERE WAS THAT SCENE AT THE END WHERE HE TOLD HER THAT HE OWED PERCY HIS LIFE AND -- OOOH UNFORESEEABLE PLOT TWIST -- BUT ALSO OTP TIMES AND COMPLEXICATING OF PLOTLINES FURTHER DOWN THE LINE AND OH MY GOD SO EXCITE SO EXCITE SO EXCITE CANNOT CONTAIN MYSELF REPEATING MYSELF IN TRIPLICATE TO SHOW YOU HOW MUCH I CANNOT CONTAIN MY FUCKING EXCITEMENT, IT IS OFF THE FUCKING CHARTS, MICHAEL/NIKITA OTP AND I WANT TO FIC IT EXCEPT I HAVE NO TIME EXCEPT I WANT TO FIC IT OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG.
But really, let's move on to the points of the episode that I did not enjoy. Can anyone guess?
Alex. What the fuck is she doing here. What a strangerbitch. I don't find her interesting, her acting is stale, I'm repeating myself, blah blah blah. Whatever. I hate that they keep comparing her to Nikita because they feel like completely different people to me but I hate one and love the other, so clearly biased. Do I give a fuck? No. No. Don't give a fuck at all. That said, her panic issues? Meh.
THOM PULLING HER OUT FROM UNDER THE CAR? THAT END SCENE WITH HER AND THOM? THOM AND HER FLIRTING SO THEY CAN FIGHT WITH THE POLES AGAIN? FUCKING STOP IT SHOW. I HATE THAT PAIRING SO HARD I CANNOT EVEN ARTICULATE MYSELF. ALSO WHAT IS IT WITH EVERYONE'S FUCKING OBSESSION WITH ALEX? UH, HELLO, JADEN IS RIGHT THERE. SHE IS AMAZEBALLS. EVERYONE IS BLIND.
GUYS, REMEMBER WHEN THIS HAPPENED AND IT WAS GLORIOUS?
OTP FOR FUCKING ALWAYS.
SHUT ALEX THE FUCK DOWN. CAN'T STAND HER. WHATEVER.
THINGS I ENJOYED. EVERYTHING. FUCKING EVERYTHING. Okay, that's a lie. But let's break it down. First, MAGGIE Q, BE MORE AWESOME, WHY DON'T YOU? ACTUALLY, THAT SHIT IS FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE BECAUSE BITCH IS SO FIERCE.
This episode had great plot and great character development and I'm glad they resolved all the weird editing issues they had in the first two episodes. The case of the week was interesting and VICTOR HAN. I FELT FOR YOU. I WAS SYMPATHETIC AND A LITTLE TEARY-EYED AND THEN, TWIIIIIIIIST. I didn't call it! But I don't even care. WE HAD ACTUAL CANTONESE SPEAKERS SPEAKING CANTONESE, WHAT UPPPPPPP. And Maggie Q's Canto isn't great, but I figure it's like ABC Canto where you can still figure out what's going on, but some tones are wonky? I don't even care. CANTONESE CONVERSATIONSSSSSSSSSSSS. And only one moment was of Swanky White Person speaking Chinese badly - and hello, subtitles people, your subtitles were OUT OF SYNC. Fix that shit.
That being said, the Victor Han storyline was super interesting, even if it did fall into traditional crime show patterns of the Chinese Triads and whatever. But the actor they got to play Victor was just brilliant and so spot on. He played every note amazingly. And his last conversation with Nikita was just. Ugh, blew my socks off. Him saying that they're similar because they were both living lies and her face and then PEANUT OIL WITH HER LIPSTICK - MY GIRL IS SO SMART, SHE IS SUCH A BELIEVABLE SPY I LOVE THIS BITCH I LOVE THIS BITCH I LOVE THIS BITCH I LOVE THIS BITCH.
BUT REALLY. WE ALL KNOW WHY KAREN IS INVOLVED WITH THIS SHIT. OTP TIMESSSSSSSSSSSSSS. OH MY GOD SO MANY. SO MANY. THE FLASHBACKSSSSSSSSSSSS! YES! NIKITA BACKSTORY! YESSSSSSSSSSSSS. THE MORE MAGGIE Q IS ON MY SCREEN, THE FUCKING BETTER. AND MICHAEL/NIKITA TIMES OMG. HIM ON TOP OF HER. OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD. I WAS FLAILING IN MY ROOM GOING WHY ARE NONE OF MY FRIENDS ON THE INTERNET RIGHT NOW OMG while I'm sure that my suitemates thought I was crazy. I don't care. THEY WERE FLIRTY AND FIGHTING AND FLIRTY AND FIGHTING AND HE SAVED HER LIFE AND SHE SAVED HIS LIFE AND THERE WAS THAT SCENE AT THE END WHERE HE TOLD HER THAT HE OWED PERCY HIS LIFE AND -- OOOH UNFORESEEABLE PLOT TWIST -- BUT ALSO OTP TIMES AND COMPLEXICATING OF PLOTLINES FURTHER DOWN THE LINE AND OH MY GOD SO EXCITE SO EXCITE SO EXCITE CANNOT CONTAIN MYSELF REPEATING MYSELF IN TRIPLICATE TO SHOW YOU HOW MUCH I CANNOT CONTAIN MY FUCKING EXCITEMENT, IT IS OFF THE FUCKING CHARTS, MICHAEL/NIKITA OTP AND I WANT TO FIC IT EXCEPT I HAVE NO TIME EXCEPT I WANT TO FIC IT OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG.
But really, let's move on to the points of the episode that I did not enjoy. Can anyone guess?
Alex. What the fuck is she doing here. What a strangerbitch. I don't find her interesting, her acting is stale, I'm repeating myself, blah blah blah. Whatever. I hate that they keep comparing her to Nikita because they feel like completely different people to me but I hate one and love the other, so clearly biased. Do I give a fuck? No. No. Don't give a fuck at all. That said, her panic issues? Meh.
THOM PULLING HER OUT FROM UNDER THE CAR? THAT END SCENE WITH HER AND THOM? THOM AND HER FLIRTING SO THEY CAN FIGHT WITH THE POLES AGAIN? FUCKING STOP IT SHOW. I HATE THAT PAIRING SO HARD I CANNOT EVEN ARTICULATE MYSELF. ALSO WHAT IS IT WITH EVERYONE'S FUCKING OBSESSION WITH ALEX? UH, HELLO, JADEN IS RIGHT THERE. SHE IS AMAZEBALLS. EVERYONE IS BLIND.
GUYS, REMEMBER WHEN THIS HAPPENED AND IT WAS GLORIOUS?
OTP FOR FUCKING ALWAYS.
SHUT ALEX THE FUCK DOWN. CAN'T STAND HER. WHATEVER.