FIC::HIMYM::play it sam (but i forget how it goes)
Title: play it, sam (but i forget how it goes)
Author: hyacinthian
Rating: Eh, I'd say it ranges from G to R, really
Author's Note: All previous chapters here. Unbetaed. SPOILERS, OBVIOUSLY.
Summary: 5x08 ("The Playbook")
Marshall and Ted accidentally break the news to him over breakfast as Barney talks about the aftermath of The Scuba Diver. “Lily said that Robin said that she got a totally hot new co-anchor yesterday.” Marshall slams his palms down on the table excitedly.
Ted, pinky out, loudly sips at his coffee before he and Marshall high-five. With a nod of enthusiasm, Ted says, “I’ve narrowed down my appropriate, yet playful wedding anecdotes to three.”
Barney stabs a pancake piece and shoves it in his mouth, jaw clenching as he chews slowly. He coughs out a laugh. “Robin met a guy?”
“Dude, you slept with like half of Manhattan last night. You can’t expect her to not do anything,” Ted says. Marshall’s rearranging the food items on his plate to be a smiley face.
“You’re talking about best man speeches.” He snorts and downs the rest of his coffee. “I sleep around, but you’re planning Robin’s wedding.”
“Are you-” Marshall’s lip quirk for a second before he points the fork towards Barney, “Are you jealous?”
“What? No! Why would I be? She didn’t dump me. We broke up. Mutually. You know, we made the decision together.”
“Dude,” Ted intones, “You totally are.”
Barney rolls his eyes. “Ted, sometimes I think you forget that not everybody wants to be a Ted.”
Marshall nods sagely. “That’s true, Ted.”
“Marshall, you’ve been married longer than any of us. I think you’re the bigger Ted.”
“Please, Ted, let the grown-ups talk.”
Ted rolls his eyes. “Marshall, you are just as big a romantic. And so are you, Barney. Somewhere underneath that ridiculous exterior.”
Barney snorts. “Ridiculous? I think you mean awesome.” He takes another bite of his pancakes and then, “I just didn’t think that Robin would be into a relationship so soon.”
Marshall leans in, conspiratorially. “I spied on them on set-”
“Marshall, don’t you have a job?”
“-oh, please, Ted-and he’s totally into her. They’re made for each other.”
Barney blinks. “Could this get any lamer? Seriously, girls, Charlotte, Carrie, it was nice having brunch but as the only man left at this table, I think it’s time for me to go.”
“Sit down, Barney,” Ted says. Barney just arches a brow, stays standing. Silence. “We’ll take you out to laser tag.” After a minute, he begrudgingly sits back down.
Ted flags the waitress, asks for a side of home fries. “You’re still hungry?” Barney asks.
“Hey, like you should talk. Remember the relationship gut?”
Barney grimaces. “Don’t remind me.” He stares into his glass of orange juice. “They really should serve scotch at these places.”
“It’s eleven a.m.,” Ted says.
Barney rolls his eyes.
When Barney goes to pay (and he insists), Marshall and Ted high-five underneath the table.
“Ted,” Marshall stage-whispers. “This is going better than I thought!”
“I know! This is so easy,” Ted says.
The thing that Barney doesn’t know is that he’s not the only one with a playbook. They share a glance.
Author: hyacinthian
Rating: Eh, I'd say it ranges from G to R, really
Author's Note: All previous chapters here. Unbetaed. SPOILERS, OBVIOUSLY.
Summary: 5x08 ("The Playbook")
Marshall and Ted accidentally break the news to him over breakfast as Barney talks about the aftermath of The Scuba Diver. “Lily said that Robin said that she got a totally hot new co-anchor yesterday.” Marshall slams his palms down on the table excitedly.
Ted, pinky out, loudly sips at his coffee before he and Marshall high-five. With a nod of enthusiasm, Ted says, “I’ve narrowed down my appropriate, yet playful wedding anecdotes to three.”
Barney stabs a pancake piece and shoves it in his mouth, jaw clenching as he chews slowly. He coughs out a laugh. “Robin met a guy?”
“Dude, you slept with like half of Manhattan last night. You can’t expect her to not do anything,” Ted says. Marshall’s rearranging the food items on his plate to be a smiley face.
“You’re talking about best man speeches.” He snorts and downs the rest of his coffee. “I sleep around, but you’re planning Robin’s wedding.”
“Are you-” Marshall’s lip quirk for a second before he points the fork towards Barney, “Are you jealous?”
“What? No! Why would I be? She didn’t dump me. We broke up. Mutually. You know, we made the decision together.”
“Dude,” Ted intones, “You totally are.”
Barney rolls his eyes. “Ted, sometimes I think you forget that not everybody wants to be a Ted.”
Marshall nods sagely. “That’s true, Ted.”
“Marshall, you’ve been married longer than any of us. I think you’re the bigger Ted.”
“Please, Ted, let the grown-ups talk.”
Ted rolls his eyes. “Marshall, you are just as big a romantic. And so are you, Barney. Somewhere underneath that ridiculous exterior.”
Barney snorts. “Ridiculous? I think you mean awesome.” He takes another bite of his pancakes and then, “I just didn’t think that Robin would be into a relationship so soon.”
Marshall leans in, conspiratorially. “I spied on them on set-”
“Marshall, don’t you have a job?”
“-oh, please, Ted-and he’s totally into her. They’re made for each other.”
Barney blinks. “Could this get any lamer? Seriously, girls, Charlotte, Carrie, it was nice having brunch but as the only man left at this table, I think it’s time for me to go.”
“Sit down, Barney,” Ted says. Barney just arches a brow, stays standing. Silence. “We’ll take you out to laser tag.” After a minute, he begrudgingly sits back down.
Ted flags the waitress, asks for a side of home fries. “You’re still hungry?” Barney asks.
“Hey, like you should talk. Remember the relationship gut?”
Barney grimaces. “Don’t remind me.” He stares into his glass of orange juice. “They really should serve scotch at these places.”
“It’s eleven a.m.,” Ted says.
Barney rolls his eyes.
When Barney goes to pay (and he insists), Marshall and Ted high-five underneath the table.
“Ted,” Marshall stage-whispers. “This is going better than I thought!”
“I know! This is so easy,” Ted says.
The thing that Barney doesn’t know is that he’s not the only one with a playbook. They share a glance.