the person i used to be, am, and am becoming.
many moon ago, i used to be the person to call in the middle of the night when you were in crisis / needed to talk / needed advice to not follow / etc. i have never known why i was this person, but honored to be this person. then i got pregnant. and it is just now getting to the point where people are starting to come to me again. i had forgotten how much i needed it.
i was talking to my friend nate last night about opening up to people. and how some people you can know your whole life and they are still idiots that you would never want to talk to about anything remotely serious. so i am flattered that people open up to me. i find it amazing that people see me as approachable, especially considering how private a person i am. it is other people's trust in me that gives me the strength to be able to open up and write stuff like that ridiculously long vulnerable, crazy blog a few posts back. and that entry was like the last straw in the healing of my guilt. which made a world of difference in my life. it's much easier to take myself to church and work and into public in general without my guilt hovering over me every moment of every day. it is refreshing to feel healed.
but there are still so many things to overcome. zebediah has helped so much in so many ways. i feel comfortable in my skin now, have a warm body next to me at night and someone to cuddle with almost whenever i want. someone who will love me forever. that was all i could've ever asked for.
i was talking to my friend nate last night about opening up to people. and how some people you can know your whole life and they are still idiots that you would never want to talk to about anything remotely serious. so i am flattered that people open up to me. i find it amazing that people see me as approachable, especially considering how private a person i am. it is other people's trust in me that gives me the strength to be able to open up and write stuff like that ridiculously long vulnerable, crazy blog a few posts back. and that entry was like the last straw in the healing of my guilt. which made a world of difference in my life. it's much easier to take myself to church and work and into public in general without my guilt hovering over me every moment of every day. it is refreshing to feel healed.
but there are still so many things to overcome. zebediah has helped so much in so many ways. i feel comfortable in my skin now, have a warm body next to me at night and someone to cuddle with almost whenever i want. someone who will love me forever. that was all i could've ever asked for.