What a day
Fucking stress man. I thought maybe i could escape it ,but it just gets worse. I finally paid for my car and all and im broke ,but all my bills are due and i cant pay anything.I couldnt even afford rent at chances studio. FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!! Im low on gas and have a buncha shit i have to take care of tomarrow. I drove by to check on my mom the other night. I just wanted to make sure she was ok , had food, electricity shit like that. We rarely talk anymore. i walked in and she had no food. She looked terrible. it made me feel sick to my stomach. I cant bare to see that shit anymore. I used to live through it with her. At that point i felt every bit of hatred, anger, sadness, depression from the things that she put me through hit me all at once. It was a feeling i'll never forget. I Just had to leave the only person i thought to call and say anything about it to was renee' , but she didnt answer. SO i drove to an empty parking lot and grabbed my notebook. I wrote so fucking much. Every pain, secret, heartache, love. It was all ink on the paper before me i wrote one of the most beautiful poems in my opinion i had ever written and then i burned them both. I with that burning paper i let go of that part of my life. Im starting over.........