(no subject)
Its been so very long.
There are so many things i want to say to you...so many defenses i've cooked up in my mind...and then i get the guts to say something, but it doesnt seem worth it. the fight doesnt seem worth it. so i just take everything you say. all the criticism and the hurtful things. and just walk away...because i'm so blown away at the things you think and the things you say. i dont want to fight anymore. its stupid.
ew. i didnt want to start out that way.
anyhow...back to happy thoughts. i took my calculus ap test today. scary ass bitch. failed for sure. thursday...english ap test. i'm confident, but i dont wanna get too confident ya know...and then end up failing and feeling stupid.
my shoulder has been hurting really bad lately. i think i'm gonna go to the doctor soon. you'd think my worst fear would be him saying i have cancer. nope. my worst fear is him saying there's absolutely nothing wrong and i'm crazy. (well he would never tell me i was crazy, but there has to be a reason for this pain) its not like i play sports or anything and threw my shoulder "pitching a touchdown"...
so i'm thinking about quitting sbarro. once school starts, i'll work at molly's two days a week and maybe 1 or 2 fridays a month...at 8.25 an hour...i would be making about the same as what i am now (if not more...) and so i think i can survive. so now i have to decide when i want to quit. i really want this last summer to play and have fun...but then again, it takes money to play. and i'd have to save at least enough for insurance and gas. so i dont know. we'll see. i'll talk to fran :) my favorite person. i love her so much. my little francesca....
well i felt like i needed an update...so there it is ^^^
There are so many things i want to say to you...so many defenses i've cooked up in my mind...and then i get the guts to say something, but it doesnt seem worth it. the fight doesnt seem worth it. so i just take everything you say. all the criticism and the hurtful things. and just walk away...because i'm so blown away at the things you think and the things you say. i dont want to fight anymore. its stupid.
ew. i didnt want to start out that way.
anyhow...back to happy thoughts. i took my calculus ap test today. scary ass bitch. failed for sure. thursday...english ap test. i'm confident, but i dont wanna get too confident ya know...and then end up failing and feeling stupid.
my shoulder has been hurting really bad lately. i think i'm gonna go to the doctor soon. you'd think my worst fear would be him saying i have cancer. nope. my worst fear is him saying there's absolutely nothing wrong and i'm crazy. (well he would never tell me i was crazy, but there has to be a reason for this pain) its not like i play sports or anything and threw my shoulder "pitching a touchdown"...
so i'm thinking about quitting sbarro. once school starts, i'll work at molly's two days a week and maybe 1 or 2 fridays a month...at 8.25 an hour...i would be making about the same as what i am now (if not more...) and so i think i can survive. so now i have to decide when i want to quit. i really want this last summer to play and have fun...but then again, it takes money to play. and i'd have to save at least enough for insurance and gas. so i dont know. we'll see. i'll talk to fran :) my favorite person. i love her so much. my little francesca....
well i felt like i needed an update...so there it is ^^^