How to communicate with Hal so he doesn't hate you
Her: “we need to go do that one activity we both enjoy soon!”
Me, later: “Let's do this activity on this particular day!”
Her: “I may have other plans to be out of town! I will let you know!”
I interpret that statement as: “There is a 50% chance that I will be unable to do that. I will contact you as soon as I know one way or the other.”
She never contacted me again. Here's what she probably meant: “I don't actually want to do that or anything with you, I've been actively lying to you about that out of some sort of need to seem friendly without actually being friendly.” Here is the polite way of saying that: “I can't do that that day. Sorry.”
And in the off chance that she actually wants to spend time with me: “There is a 75% [or some accurate number] chance I will be out of town that day. I'll let you know by the day before if I actually can make it. Otherwise, what about next weekend?”
Me, later: “Let's do this activity on this particular day!”
Her: “I may have other plans to be out of town! I will let you know!”
I interpret that statement as: “There is a 50% chance that I will be unable to do that. I will contact you as soon as I know one way or the other.”
She never contacted me again. Here's what she probably meant: “I don't actually want to do that or anything with you, I've been actively lying to you about that out of some sort of need to seem friendly without actually being friendly.” Here is the polite way of saying that: “I can't do that that day. Sorry.”
And in the off chance that she actually wants to spend time with me: “There is a 75% [or some accurate number] chance I will be out of town that day. I'll let you know by the day before if I actually can make it. Otherwise, what about next weekend?”