#122: House gets a new camera and spends the day taking photographs of Wilson.
Title: The Art of Photography
Author: lea724
Rating: Mature
Characters: House/Wilson
Written: November 27, 2006
Prompt: #122: House gets a new camera and spends the day taking photographs of Wilson. (for hw_fest)
Beta: fallen_arazil (for wonderful suggestions and word tweaks to make it flow much better than it had been)
Spoilers: Very, very slight mention of something that happened in Wilson’s personal life from "Sex Kills" (episode 02.14).
Notes: I see this as a slight variation on the prompt, so I hope it will suffice.
The first photo made itself known to Dr. Wilson as he left his office to visit a patient. He closed his door behind him and hadn’t made it more than a few yards down the hall before he noticed the stares. Some of the cancer fellows, gathered in a cluster by the elevator, smirked outright at him, and as he passed by, an anonymous voice called out to him, "Hey, Dr. Wilson! Nice ass!"
He whirled around and innocent stares met his gaze. As he started to turn back around and continue down the hall, he noticed a piece of white paper taped to his door. He made his way back to his office, uncomfortably aware at how many eyes were trained on him.
Reaching his door, he realized it wasn’t just a piece of paper, but rather a photograph taped onto a piece of paper.
An over-exposed photograph of him, granted, but the subject matter was still horrifyingly obvious.
Him. His back to the camera. Shirt on. Bare-assed and slightly bent over as he pulled on a pair of - oh my god, were they really...
They were.
He was pulling on the boxers with the dancing daisies on them.
"House." He growled the name softly to himself as the images came rushing back at him with the speed of a locomotive.
It had been several days ago, as he climbed blearily out of bed once the alarm went off, then stumbled into the shower. Afterwards, he had been glaring at House (who had the nerve to still be under the covers), when the other man had opened one eye and told him in a gravely voice to toss him his pants from the night before. Wilson hadn’t thought anything of it and did so after buttoning his shirt. He then looked in his overnight bag only to realize he had forgotten a clean pair of boxers and asked House for a pair to borrow.
House had looked up from rooting around in the pocket of the pants and quirked an eyebrow at him
"Ew, man cooties. Second drawer on the left, take one from the bottom."
Wilson had grabbed the bottom-most pair and laughed as he saw what they had on them. "Flowers, House? Dancing flowers?"
He remembered peering down at them more closely.
"Oh, ho, ho! Daisies, even! Oh, this is good. Wonder what your fellows will say when I tell them you own these."
"Nothing, since you're the one wearing them now. Say cheese."
And before Wilson could even register what was happening, in mid-bend to put them on, he saw the flash from the camera out of the corner of his eye.
"House! Give me that!"
He’d pulled up the boxers and run for the bed, but House had stuck the camera under his pillow and waved a finger at him.
"Uh, uh, uh! My camera. Now be a good boy and do a strip tease for daddy."
Until now, Wilson had forgotten about the whole incident, reassuring himself that the camera was new and House frequently lost interest in most of his new toys. At some point in a few weeks, Wilson had been positive he’d be able to delete the photo off of the memory stick.
Wilson suddenly registered that he still had an audience.
He grabbed the photo, tearing it from the door, and stuffed it into his lab coat. Blushing fiercely and ignoring the cat calls and whistles that came his way, he continued down the hall.
He heard about the second photo after it showed up on the bulletin board in the pediatric ward. The only reason Wilson even knew of its existence at all was because he received a phone call from one of the nurses on that floor.
"Dr. Wilson, this is Marlie from Pediatrics. It’s not that we don’t appreciate the sentiment, but we don’t think the picture you left here is very appropriate for this location."
Distracted, he frowned down at the patient report he was initialing.
"Hmm?"
"The picture? Of you in the shower? It’s not appropriate here on the pediatric floor. Would you like to come pick it up or should we throw it away?"
Wilson’s head snapped up and he focused his attention on the conversation.
"Wait a minute. What is there a picture of?"
"You, Dr. Wilson. In the shower. With a rope."
"What?"
"Sorry, soap on a rope. I should’ve looked more closely."
Wilson closed his eyes and sighed.
"Okay, just, just throw it away. Shred it, even. Please."
"Okay. Have a good day, Dr. Wilson."
The click of the phone echoed in his ear as she hung up.
He could feel the beginning of a headache right at the bridge of his nose. He rubbed that spot and tried to think of when House could’ve taken the photo.
It wasn’t last Monday. They had stayed at his place that night and, though he hadn’t seen the photo, he was guessing it had been taken through a glass shower stall, which he didn’t have. Julie had favored shower curtains, preferably with pink floral themes, which weren’t exactly see-through, and Wilson hadn’t bothered to change them when she left.
Not Tuesday, since he hadn’t slept over at House’s place, and consequently hadn’t needed to use House’s shower.
Maybe Wednesday? No. That was the night House had taken a phone call in the middle of the night because his patient had taken a turn for the worse. Wilson distinctly remembered being woken by House giving sleepy instructions for the patient’s care, hanging up the phone, then rolling over and snuggling up against Wilson’s back, complete with arm around Wilson’s chest and legs intertwined with Wilson’s.
When he mentioned the uncharacteristic nuzzling to House in the morning, House had adamantly denied such “girly moves,” then spent the rest of the day making a point of scratching his genitals in public, adjusting himself more than was probably necessary, and in a final (desperate and pathetic, Wilson secretly thought) attempt to secure his manliness, revving the engine of his car the entire ride home.
Wilson had finally given in when the fumes from the car had begun to give him a migraine.
"Okay, I take it back! You weren’t cuddling!"
But it couldn’t have been Wednesday anyway, since House had left for the hospital before Wilson even woke up (another phone call, this time needing his immediate presence, apparently).
So maybe it was Thursday. That would make sense. Wilson had stayed over at House’s place Wednesday night and, once in bed, been on the receiving end of an energetic blow job that left him sweaty, drained, and more relaxed than he had felt all week. He distinctly remembered using the shower first thing Thursday morning, too. And now that he thought about it...
Wilson frowned.
...there had been a flash of light when he was in the process of soaping up his body, but he had assumed it was a flicker from the lights in the bathroom. He hadn’t thought anything of it, especially once House joined him in the shower, pushing him down to his knees to return Wednesday night’s favor.
Wilson focused his attention back onto the patient’s chart he was marking, trying to push away the fear that there might be more photographs out there just waiting to embarrass him.
Although no more photos had made an appearance (that he was aware of), Wilson was getting anxious enough to corner House that afternoon in the hallway. He pushed him against the wall and poked his finger hard into House’s chest.
House put up his hands in mock surrender.
"Whoa, cowboy, calm down. I bruise easily."
"Bruises will be the least of your worries if you don’t tell me what you think you’re doing!"
To his credit, House didn’t even try to pretend he didn’t know what Wilson was talking about.
"What? You wanted me to get a hobby! You even bought me the camera!"
"Not to take pictures of me in the shower! And..." Wilson lowered his voice slightly, "...bent over, with my bare ass flapping in the wind."
House snorted, a smile curling his lips up.
"Flapping in the wind? I can think of a few more parts of you I’d like to see flapping in the wind. Actually, scratch that. Flapping would be bad. Poking into the wind. Yeah."
Wilson closed his eyes and his shoulders slumped.
"Could you just...stop putting naked pictures of me up at work?"
House nodded. "Sure, no problem."
Wilson squinted at him. "That was too easy. What are you planning?"
House looked shocked. "Me? Planning something? Never. Now, run along, Jimmy. We’ve been up against this wall for far too long and the nurses are beginning to whisper."
Wilson straightened up and took a step back. He glanced over at the nurses’ station where the nurses were oblivious to the actions of Drs. House and Wilson. He pointed a finger at House and assumed his most serious expression.
"Just...stop, okay?"
He left House standing by the wall and went back to his office, locking the door behind him. He sat down at his desk and noticed a large manila envelope that hadn’t been there before resting on top of his patient charts.
He opened up the envelope. Inside was a calendar. Of naked men. That is, naked men with Wilson’s face crudely Photoshopped onto where the heads should be.
Wilson blushed.
He flipped through the calendar slowly. Each month had an appropriate holiday theme and Wilson couldn’t help but appreciate December, which featured a muscular man facing the camera, a candy cane hooked on his erect penis.
The image of Wilson’s head for that month, though, was from several years ago. The smile was big and goofy, the face slightly thinner, the hair definitely floppier. Wilson had no clue where the photo had been taken, and he didn’t even want to think about how House got his hands on it.
He stood up and went to the balcony door. He could see into the Diagnostic conference room where House was leaning into the whiteboard as he wrote something down. Wilson was loathe to interrupt them if they were diagnosing a patient and besides, this was probably better suited for a private conversation at home.
As he watched, though, House made various motions with his hands and Wilson could see his team leaving. House peered at the whiteboard for a few seconds, then grabbed his cane and limped out onto the balcony.
Wilson joined him and for a minute or so, they stood next to each other silently, each resting their forearms on the wall, looking out at the view. Wilson finally spoke.
"I got the calendar."
"Is that a fact."
"Interesting...manipulations."
"I thought so."
"Where’d you get the photos?"
"Ah, I never kiss and tell."
"My mom gave them to you, didn’t she?"
"Yep."
"I guess it’s better than having naked photos of me all over the hospital."
"Oh? Just so you know, I had copies made of the calendar. Won’t the nurses be pleased to be getting a gift from me this year?"
END
Author: lea724
Rating: Mature
Characters: House/Wilson
Written: November 27, 2006
Prompt: #122: House gets a new camera and spends the day taking photographs of Wilson. (for hw_fest)
Beta: fallen_arazil (for wonderful suggestions and word tweaks to make it flow much better than it had been)
Spoilers: Very, very slight mention of something that happened in Wilson’s personal life from "Sex Kills" (episode 02.14).
Notes: I see this as a slight variation on the prompt, so I hope it will suffice.
The first photo made itself known to Dr. Wilson as he left his office to visit a patient. He closed his door behind him and hadn’t made it more than a few yards down the hall before he noticed the stares. Some of the cancer fellows, gathered in a cluster by the elevator, smirked outright at him, and as he passed by, an anonymous voice called out to him, "Hey, Dr. Wilson! Nice ass!"
He whirled around and innocent stares met his gaze. As he started to turn back around and continue down the hall, he noticed a piece of white paper taped to his door. He made his way back to his office, uncomfortably aware at how many eyes were trained on him.
Reaching his door, he realized it wasn’t just a piece of paper, but rather a photograph taped onto a piece of paper.
An over-exposed photograph of him, granted, but the subject matter was still horrifyingly obvious.
Him. His back to the camera. Shirt on. Bare-assed and slightly bent over as he pulled on a pair of - oh my god, were they really...
They were.
He was pulling on the boxers with the dancing daisies on them.
"House." He growled the name softly to himself as the images came rushing back at him with the speed of a locomotive.
It had been several days ago, as he climbed blearily out of bed once the alarm went off, then stumbled into the shower. Afterwards, he had been glaring at House (who had the nerve to still be under the covers), when the other man had opened one eye and told him in a gravely voice to toss him his pants from the night before. Wilson hadn’t thought anything of it and did so after buttoning his shirt. He then looked in his overnight bag only to realize he had forgotten a clean pair of boxers and asked House for a pair to borrow.
House had looked up from rooting around in the pocket of the pants and quirked an eyebrow at him
"Ew, man cooties. Second drawer on the left, take one from the bottom."
Wilson had grabbed the bottom-most pair and laughed as he saw what they had on them. "Flowers, House? Dancing flowers?"
He remembered peering down at them more closely.
"Oh, ho, ho! Daisies, even! Oh, this is good. Wonder what your fellows will say when I tell them you own these."
"Nothing, since you're the one wearing them now. Say cheese."
And before Wilson could even register what was happening, in mid-bend to put them on, he saw the flash from the camera out of the corner of his eye.
"House! Give me that!"
He’d pulled up the boxers and run for the bed, but House had stuck the camera under his pillow and waved a finger at him.
"Uh, uh, uh! My camera. Now be a good boy and do a strip tease for daddy."
Until now, Wilson had forgotten about the whole incident, reassuring himself that the camera was new and House frequently lost interest in most of his new toys. At some point in a few weeks, Wilson had been positive he’d be able to delete the photo off of the memory stick.
Wilson suddenly registered that he still had an audience.
He grabbed the photo, tearing it from the door, and stuffed it into his lab coat. Blushing fiercely and ignoring the cat calls and whistles that came his way, he continued down the hall.
He heard about the second photo after it showed up on the bulletin board in the pediatric ward. The only reason Wilson even knew of its existence at all was because he received a phone call from one of the nurses on that floor.
"Dr. Wilson, this is Marlie from Pediatrics. It’s not that we don’t appreciate the sentiment, but we don’t think the picture you left here is very appropriate for this location."
Distracted, he frowned down at the patient report he was initialing.
"Hmm?"
"The picture? Of you in the shower? It’s not appropriate here on the pediatric floor. Would you like to come pick it up or should we throw it away?"
Wilson’s head snapped up and he focused his attention on the conversation.
"Wait a minute. What is there a picture of?"
"You, Dr. Wilson. In the shower. With a rope."
"What?"
"Sorry, soap on a rope. I should’ve looked more closely."
Wilson closed his eyes and sighed.
"Okay, just, just throw it away. Shred it, even. Please."
"Okay. Have a good day, Dr. Wilson."
The click of the phone echoed in his ear as she hung up.
He could feel the beginning of a headache right at the bridge of his nose. He rubbed that spot and tried to think of when House could’ve taken the photo.
It wasn’t last Monday. They had stayed at his place that night and, though he hadn’t seen the photo, he was guessing it had been taken through a glass shower stall, which he didn’t have. Julie had favored shower curtains, preferably with pink floral themes, which weren’t exactly see-through, and Wilson hadn’t bothered to change them when she left.
Not Tuesday, since he hadn’t slept over at House’s place, and consequently hadn’t needed to use House’s shower.
Maybe Wednesday? No. That was the night House had taken a phone call in the middle of the night because his patient had taken a turn for the worse. Wilson distinctly remembered being woken by House giving sleepy instructions for the patient’s care, hanging up the phone, then rolling over and snuggling up against Wilson’s back, complete with arm around Wilson’s chest and legs intertwined with Wilson’s.
When he mentioned the uncharacteristic nuzzling to House in the morning, House had adamantly denied such “girly moves,” then spent the rest of the day making a point of scratching his genitals in public, adjusting himself more than was probably necessary, and in a final (desperate and pathetic, Wilson secretly thought) attempt to secure his manliness, revving the engine of his car the entire ride home.
Wilson had finally given in when the fumes from the car had begun to give him a migraine.
"Okay, I take it back! You weren’t cuddling!"
But it couldn’t have been Wednesday anyway, since House had left for the hospital before Wilson even woke up (another phone call, this time needing his immediate presence, apparently).
So maybe it was Thursday. That would make sense. Wilson had stayed over at House’s place Wednesday night and, once in bed, been on the receiving end of an energetic blow job that left him sweaty, drained, and more relaxed than he had felt all week. He distinctly remembered using the shower first thing Thursday morning, too. And now that he thought about it...
Wilson frowned.
...there had been a flash of light when he was in the process of soaping up his body, but he had assumed it was a flicker from the lights in the bathroom. He hadn’t thought anything of it, especially once House joined him in the shower, pushing him down to his knees to return Wednesday night’s favor.
Wilson focused his attention back onto the patient’s chart he was marking, trying to push away the fear that there might be more photographs out there just waiting to embarrass him.
Although no more photos had made an appearance (that he was aware of), Wilson was getting anxious enough to corner House that afternoon in the hallway. He pushed him against the wall and poked his finger hard into House’s chest.
House put up his hands in mock surrender.
"Whoa, cowboy, calm down. I bruise easily."
"Bruises will be the least of your worries if you don’t tell me what you think you’re doing!"
To his credit, House didn’t even try to pretend he didn’t know what Wilson was talking about.
"What? You wanted me to get a hobby! You even bought me the camera!"
"Not to take pictures of me in the shower! And..." Wilson lowered his voice slightly, "...bent over, with my bare ass flapping in the wind."
House snorted, a smile curling his lips up.
"Flapping in the wind? I can think of a few more parts of you I’d like to see flapping in the wind. Actually, scratch that. Flapping would be bad. Poking into the wind. Yeah."
Wilson closed his eyes and his shoulders slumped.
"Could you just...stop putting naked pictures of me up at work?"
House nodded. "Sure, no problem."
Wilson squinted at him. "That was too easy. What are you planning?"
House looked shocked. "Me? Planning something? Never. Now, run along, Jimmy. We’ve been up against this wall for far too long and the nurses are beginning to whisper."
Wilson straightened up and took a step back. He glanced over at the nurses’ station where the nurses were oblivious to the actions of Drs. House and Wilson. He pointed a finger at House and assumed his most serious expression.
"Just...stop, okay?"
He left House standing by the wall and went back to his office, locking the door behind him. He sat down at his desk and noticed a large manila envelope that hadn’t been there before resting on top of his patient charts.
He opened up the envelope. Inside was a calendar. Of naked men. That is, naked men with Wilson’s face crudely Photoshopped onto where the heads should be.
Wilson blushed.
He flipped through the calendar slowly. Each month had an appropriate holiday theme and Wilson couldn’t help but appreciate December, which featured a muscular man facing the camera, a candy cane hooked on his erect penis.
The image of Wilson’s head for that month, though, was from several years ago. The smile was big and goofy, the face slightly thinner, the hair definitely floppier. Wilson had no clue where the photo had been taken, and he didn’t even want to think about how House got his hands on it.
He stood up and went to the balcony door. He could see into the Diagnostic conference room where House was leaning into the whiteboard as he wrote something down. Wilson was loathe to interrupt them if they were diagnosing a patient and besides, this was probably better suited for a private conversation at home.
As he watched, though, House made various motions with his hands and Wilson could see his team leaving. House peered at the whiteboard for a few seconds, then grabbed his cane and limped out onto the balcony.
Wilson joined him and for a minute or so, they stood next to each other silently, each resting their forearms on the wall, looking out at the view. Wilson finally spoke.
"I got the calendar."
"Is that a fact."
"Interesting...manipulations."
"I thought so."
"Where’d you get the photos?"
"Ah, I never kiss and tell."
"My mom gave them to you, didn’t she?"
"Yep."
"I guess it’s better than having naked photos of me all over the hospital."
"Oh? Just so you know, I had copies made of the calendar. Won’t the nurses be pleased to be getting a gift from me this year?"
END