contemplating life...

[hvillegirl85]

i`m finding it really hard to focus these days on the more important aspects of my life...such as work. i`ve been working consistently since the end of June and i was on a roll picking up hours here there and everywhere and putting in an 100% effort every day, but now, i seem to have come to a standstill, or a halt if you will. i`ve become more involved with the social life here at Deerhurst and have met some extraordinary people and i want to become better acquainted with all of them as the summer progresses. but work seems to stand in the middle of all this happening. of course it`s important and i need the money desperately for this year at school, but it`s hard to concentrate on such a routine-based schedule and sitting at a pool lifeguarding all day. i think i need a change. i`ve become involved in 3 other departments of Deerhurst as well just so that i can have a break in this monotony. don`t get me wrong, my job is pretty great, but it requires so much sitting around and scanning pools and that`s about it. i`m so used to Camp Kandalore, where i was always needed for various odd jobs and teaching a variety of activities every day that i specialized in AS WELL as socializing and working alongside my friends. lifeguarding is a more individualistic type of job where you`re alone in your thoughts except for the odd time when you have another lifeguard at the pool with you. it`s hard to hang out with my other friends while guarding because i always have to be watching the pool, hence no socializing. right now, i don`t feel very useful, even though my job is difficult in a certain sense of the word if an accident actually occurs. i don`t know. i`m just trying to figure out how to entertain myself while i lifeguard and keep focussing so that i can do as well a job as i can possibly do, as WELL as socialize and spend time with my new friends that are just WICKED! they`re so awesome and i`m so glad i plunged in and got involved in other social events.
that`s it for my contemplative mood.
i`m out...work time....