Lovers, Haters, and why they should get together
Today was one of the easier days to actualize my goal of looking good and reflecting the standards I've placed for myself. Last night I ironed the pinstripe slacks I used to debate in, and got the wedge heels and the button-up sweater-shirt on. A couple of spritzes of perfume (Hah. RL's Romance-- my favorite) in the hair, the makeup just right, and away I go to class. It feels good to be able to carry myself with confidence, and both look & feel like a million bucks-- I do take joy in turning heads. or having a breeze catch my hair and people say "What is that smell? I didn't smell it before, it's amazing." It was one of the days where I could notice everything because of the way the sunlight hit it, or the intensity of the wind through it. It seemed that it wasn't this way only for me-- everyone seemed in pretty high and appreciative spirits. Sharing food and smiles and all. and I was more than happy to partake in that.
I only started openly liking Valentine's Day recently. I've been with someone very Valentine's Day since I was 14-- they've all been amazing people, too! But the pressure of HAVING to love someone always seemed wrong. Being forced to give from resources I both had and didn't have, seemed wrong. Where they would still love each other and try to be with each other anyway, Valentine's Day was holding lovers hostage all in the name of a consumer holiday or something incomprehensible. I hated Valentine's Day not only because of the hostage situation, but because to me love was stupid and scary. I experienced first- and second- hand the things people will deny themselves in (false!) faith that someone out there would sacrifice likewise for them. Love is not a rational, reasonable, or justifiable thing. There are no debts, and there is no equality in love. You feel lightheaded and dizzy and confused, and uncertain. I used to never like those feelings. It's taken me a long time to come to terms with the freshness and newness.
The thing, though, is that it's really easy to stomp on Valentine's Day because:
(1) You don't have something, or someone, you want.
(2) You don't have the resources to get the something or someone.
(3) You've been burned in the past.
But let's change this around a little bit, using some creative interpretation. The one reason for valentine's day: Love. It's not of whom/what, between what two things. It symbolizes romance and affinity. Forget the who. Forget the money, or the things to buy. Forget the things you don't have. Love what you do. Love how you do it. Love those you know. Love those you don't know, and the beauty they hold. The world, and what it's given you. Love what you do give on a regular basis. If you can't love what you do or the reasons you do these things... you should either change your perspective on life or the things you do. Maybe you should get with a lover and do that ;-)
Besides.... nothing says you can't have a love for more than one person and nothing says that you're obligated to love any less than you normally do on this day.
I only started openly liking Valentine's Day recently. I've been with someone very Valentine's Day since I was 14-- they've all been amazing people, too! But the pressure of HAVING to love someone always seemed wrong. Being forced to give from resources I both had and didn't have, seemed wrong. Where they would still love each other and try to be with each other anyway, Valentine's Day was holding lovers hostage all in the name of a consumer holiday or something incomprehensible. I hated Valentine's Day not only because of the hostage situation, but because to me love was stupid and scary. I experienced first- and second- hand the things people will deny themselves in (false!) faith that someone out there would sacrifice likewise for them. Love is not a rational, reasonable, or justifiable thing. There are no debts, and there is no equality in love. You feel lightheaded and dizzy and confused, and uncertain. I used to never like those feelings. It's taken me a long time to come to terms with the freshness and newness.
The thing, though, is that it's really easy to stomp on Valentine's Day because:
(1) You don't have something, or someone, you want.
(2) You don't have the resources to get the something or someone.
(3) You've been burned in the past.
But let's change this around a little bit, using some creative interpretation. The one reason for valentine's day: Love. It's not of whom/what, between what two things. It symbolizes romance and affinity. Forget the who. Forget the money, or the things to buy. Forget the things you don't have. Love what you do. Love how you do it. Love those you know. Love those you don't know, and the beauty they hold. The world, and what it's given you. Love what you do give on a regular basis. If you can't love what you do or the reasons you do these things... you should either change your perspective on life or the things you do. Maybe you should get with a lover and do that ;-)
Besides.... nothing says you can't have a love for more than one person and nothing says that you're obligated to love any less than you normally do on this day.