Doesn't mean we have to be Lonely - Chapter 1
Ash had been sitting at his laptop for the last half an hour lost in thought. The others had been celebrating the end of a long and very elaborate con.
“Here you go Ash,” Mickey handed him a glass of Champagne. “How’s the next set up looking?”
“Yeah, good. Just a few more things to put in place then we’re good to go. Cheers.” He took the offered glass and drained it in one.
“You did well today Ash. I know I asked a lot but you delivered.”
“When have you ever known me not to deliver? Anyway we all did well. Emma and Sean are fast learners, it’s starting to feel like a proper crew again.”
“Yes it is.” Ash couldn’t help but notice Mickey was looking at Emma when he answered.
“So where are you planning to take her on the ‘big’ date then?”
Laughing and shaking his head Mickey replied “should have guessed nothing would have got pass you?”
“Yeah, and the fact I was trying out the new listening devices when you asked her!”
“Look Ash….” Mickey felt the need to explain as much for himself as for Ash.
Ash cut in before he could say anymore, “it’s ok you don’t need to explain to me. I hope it goes well for you, for your sake and ours. We’re all starting to get along, fitting together. To be honest I don’t want anything to happen that can change that. So what I’m saying is treat her right and make sure it’s an expensive restaurant!”
“No pressure then.” Remarked Mickey.
“Nooo, none.” Smirked Ash.
“I’ve never forgotten what you said Ash when you married June. Just because we do what we do doesn’t mean we have to be lonely. It’s true.”
“Yeah, but harder then it looks. Hope it goes well Mickey, honestly.” He patted Michael on the back. “Now unlike you flash Harry’s I have work to get on with.”
“Sure you don’t want to see me take all of Sean’s money in a few games of poker?”
“Sounds tempting but I want to double check a few things for tomorrow. Oh and you might be taking Sean’s money but keep an eye out on who’s money Albert is taking!”
Ash made sure the last part of the sentence could be heard by Albert.
“Ash, I am nothing but a gentleman when playing cards.” Albert retorted before leaving the hotel suite and leaving Mickey and Ash laughing.
An hour later Ash had got no further with his work. Part of him wanted to join the others, have a few beers and forget but he knew even in the busy bar he would be lost in his own thoughts.
What Mickey had said earlier had been going around his head. Recently he had been thinking a lot about his past. He wasn’t usually a man who looked back, too much to do in the here and now to worry about what had just gone! But seeing Mickey and Emma together, at the start of what could be a great relationship made him think about the chances he had and the ones he had missed.
It was no use if he was going to reminisce he may as well do it with a good bottle of whiskey. Going to the bar he picked up a glass and bottle and then walked back to the sofa. Kicking off his shoes he poured himself a large measure then settled down with his legs resting on one sofa arm.
He had been lucky with June, finding love especially in their line of work. It hadn’t lasted but at least he had it and he was thankful for that. He didn’t blame June for wanting a divorce, how could he, it was his fault after all. Good thing hindsight, he knew now he could have handled the situation better, spoken to her about it. Maybe they could have worked it out and still be together.
No too many what ifs in his life to regret any.
It wasn’t as though he came from a broken background not like Emma and Sean, which could be blamed for his life so far. No, his had been stable and loving. His father left after his brother, Tom, had been born but he was too young to remember what it was like to have a Dad around. His Mum made sure they never felt different to the other kids at school and there were always lots of family around to spoil them. So he would never say he came from a broken home or missed out on anything. He felt the responsibility more because he was the ‘man of the house’ so to speak. That’s why at 16 he left school to start working and help his Mum out with paying for his and his brother’s keep.
He soon learnt that being at the bottom of the food chain was not a good place to be. While he slaved away for 12 hours a day making components for, and putting together safes, his boss lived the high life. Only coming in to check the accounts and sacking anyone who threatened his profits. He learnt the job pretty quickly; he always enjoyed taking things apart to see how they worked and then fixing them after. He kept his head down and worked hard, looking forward to Friday payday when he handed over all his wages to his Mum. She would always give him half back which he stored in a tin under his bed. He never trusted banks.
He had only been at the factory for a few months when a local crew approached him. They were looking for someone to help out with a safe they were having problems with and had been told he was the best around. He may have been young but he was streetwise enough to read between the lines. He never knew who had told them to approach him, it must have been a big risk as he could of easily gone running to the police. They had given him a few days to think about it. He knew it was wrong but the money they were offering was just too good to miss.
From then on he never looked back. He moved from working with safes to helping out local grifters on cons. The fixer, he much preferred this as he never wanted to steal from old ladies but the corporate firms were fair game. They just got it back from the insurers. His reputation for being able to get in anywhere and sort out almost anything got him the job of working with Albert Stroller and Michael Stone, the best long con players in London.
He did what he had to do to look after his Mum and brother, that’s how he justified himself anyway. His brother was smart and he wanted him to stay in school maybe even go to university. He was on the wrong side of the law so his brother didn’t have to be.
He can still remember walking home and finding his little brother behind the row of local shops hitting a boy from the neighbourhood demanding his dinner money and football stickers. It was the first and only time he had given his brother a good hiding. It had taken a few minutes for them both to calm down so he could get some answers from Tom. His brother had joined the local gang of bullies and to prove himself he had to steal as much as he could from a boy they picked out for him. Ash never said it but his brother impressed him. The boy they had chosen for him was a good 5 inches taller and about 2 years older but that didn’t seem to stop Tom getting the upper hand.
He made Tom apologise and give everything back he had just stolen. He can still remember the look of hurt and anger on Tom’s face. Tom had called him a hypocrite. Ash never told him specifically want he did but Tom knew you didn’t get money that he brought home from building safes. He explained he did what he did so that Tom could concentrate on learning and becoming whatever he wanted to be. Not become a petty criminal with no hopes and no life. They never spoke about it again after that day and Tom kept clear of the gangs.
The years passed by so quickly, he had married June and Tom with his help, had just started up his own business as a plumber. Ok, so Tom hadn’t gone to university like he had hoped but he was successful and happy. Ash was very proud. They lived separate lives, he never wanted to drag his brother into his world. There were risks involved and he would protect Tom from them as long as he could. But they always met up once a month normally over a curry and a few beers. Tom always insisted on paying, his way of saying thank you and looking out for his older brother. Of course he looked after him with June when he came out of hospital with a skull fracture. June was so fond of Tom, after any visit he always left with enough food to feed an army. June always complained he was too thin and needed a girl to feed him up. He always took the food with a smile.
God, now Ash knew why you should never think of the past, once those floodgates are open there’s no way of closing them again until it has run dry. He took another sip of whiskey and rubbed his eyes.
It was after their regular night out that it happened. Tom insisted on walking home and to be honest Ash had had too much to drink to drive. So they said goodbye and promised to get in touch to arrange the next night out. He got a call from the hospital a few hours later. Tom had been mugged. June drove him to the hospital, he expected to go to A and E and pick up a bruised Tom. He knew something was wrong when no one could find any details on a Tom Morgan being brought in. After half an hour a doctor came down, apologising profusely. There had been a mix up. Another man had been mugged as well and brought into A and E but Tom had died at the scene, a single knife wound.
Ash’s world shattered around him. He blamed himself, he was the one who always looked out for his little brother, the one to shield him from the bad things in this world. But the one time he was needed he wasn’t there. He shut down completely, never said one word about it. Just tried to carry on as normal apart from the huge weight of guilt he could physically feel around his shoulders.
The drink had helped, it never affected his work but in the evenings he lost himself in the bottle. God, what a cliché but at the time that was all he could think about. Get through the day and drink enough to pass out. June had tried to get him to speak about it but he was too stubborn. In the end he stopped going home, passed out at the hotel so he didn’t have to face her or his feelings. He became detached and distance not caring about the people he was hurting. Mickey and Albert knew not to voice their concerns but he knew they always kept an eye on him. Stopping him before he went too far.
It was only a few years later that he found out June had asked them to look out for him. It was an act of love, if she couldn’t be there to look after him and help him then maybe they could. It took a week before he realised June had left him.
See, with hindsight he now knew that June needed to talk about the death of Tom, that it wasn’t all for his benefit. He wasn’t there for her and pushed her away, he kept pushing and pushing until there was no way back for either of them.
“Here you go Ash,” Mickey handed him a glass of Champagne. “How’s the next set up looking?”
“Yeah, good. Just a few more things to put in place then we’re good to go. Cheers.” He took the offered glass and drained it in one.
“You did well today Ash. I know I asked a lot but you delivered.”
“When have you ever known me not to deliver? Anyway we all did well. Emma and Sean are fast learners, it’s starting to feel like a proper crew again.”
“Yes it is.” Ash couldn’t help but notice Mickey was looking at Emma when he answered.
“So where are you planning to take her on the ‘big’ date then?”
Laughing and shaking his head Mickey replied “should have guessed nothing would have got pass you?”
“Yeah, and the fact I was trying out the new listening devices when you asked her!”
“Look Ash….” Mickey felt the need to explain as much for himself as for Ash.
Ash cut in before he could say anymore, “it’s ok you don’t need to explain to me. I hope it goes well for you, for your sake and ours. We’re all starting to get along, fitting together. To be honest I don’t want anything to happen that can change that. So what I’m saying is treat her right and make sure it’s an expensive restaurant!”
“No pressure then.” Remarked Mickey.
“Nooo, none.” Smirked Ash.
“I’ve never forgotten what you said Ash when you married June. Just because we do what we do doesn’t mean we have to be lonely. It’s true.”
“Yeah, but harder then it looks. Hope it goes well Mickey, honestly.” He patted Michael on the back. “Now unlike you flash Harry’s I have work to get on with.”
“Sure you don’t want to see me take all of Sean’s money in a few games of poker?”
“Sounds tempting but I want to double check a few things for tomorrow. Oh and you might be taking Sean’s money but keep an eye out on who’s money Albert is taking!”
Ash made sure the last part of the sentence could be heard by Albert.
“Ash, I am nothing but a gentleman when playing cards.” Albert retorted before leaving the hotel suite and leaving Mickey and Ash laughing.
An hour later Ash had got no further with his work. Part of him wanted to join the others, have a few beers and forget but he knew even in the busy bar he would be lost in his own thoughts.
What Mickey had said earlier had been going around his head. Recently he had been thinking a lot about his past. He wasn’t usually a man who looked back, too much to do in the here and now to worry about what had just gone! But seeing Mickey and Emma together, at the start of what could be a great relationship made him think about the chances he had and the ones he had missed.
It was no use if he was going to reminisce he may as well do it with a good bottle of whiskey. Going to the bar he picked up a glass and bottle and then walked back to the sofa. Kicking off his shoes he poured himself a large measure then settled down with his legs resting on one sofa arm.
He had been lucky with June, finding love especially in their line of work. It hadn’t lasted but at least he had it and he was thankful for that. He didn’t blame June for wanting a divorce, how could he, it was his fault after all. Good thing hindsight, he knew now he could have handled the situation better, spoken to her about it. Maybe they could have worked it out and still be together.
No too many what ifs in his life to regret any.
It wasn’t as though he came from a broken background not like Emma and Sean, which could be blamed for his life so far. No, his had been stable and loving. His father left after his brother, Tom, had been born but he was too young to remember what it was like to have a Dad around. His Mum made sure they never felt different to the other kids at school and there were always lots of family around to spoil them. So he would never say he came from a broken home or missed out on anything. He felt the responsibility more because he was the ‘man of the house’ so to speak. That’s why at 16 he left school to start working and help his Mum out with paying for his and his brother’s keep.
He soon learnt that being at the bottom of the food chain was not a good place to be. While he slaved away for 12 hours a day making components for, and putting together safes, his boss lived the high life. Only coming in to check the accounts and sacking anyone who threatened his profits. He learnt the job pretty quickly; he always enjoyed taking things apart to see how they worked and then fixing them after. He kept his head down and worked hard, looking forward to Friday payday when he handed over all his wages to his Mum. She would always give him half back which he stored in a tin under his bed. He never trusted banks.
He had only been at the factory for a few months when a local crew approached him. They were looking for someone to help out with a safe they were having problems with and had been told he was the best around. He may have been young but he was streetwise enough to read between the lines. He never knew who had told them to approach him, it must have been a big risk as he could of easily gone running to the police. They had given him a few days to think about it. He knew it was wrong but the money they were offering was just too good to miss.
From then on he never looked back. He moved from working with safes to helping out local grifters on cons. The fixer, he much preferred this as he never wanted to steal from old ladies but the corporate firms were fair game. They just got it back from the insurers. His reputation for being able to get in anywhere and sort out almost anything got him the job of working with Albert Stroller and Michael Stone, the best long con players in London.
He did what he had to do to look after his Mum and brother, that’s how he justified himself anyway. His brother was smart and he wanted him to stay in school maybe even go to university. He was on the wrong side of the law so his brother didn’t have to be.
He can still remember walking home and finding his little brother behind the row of local shops hitting a boy from the neighbourhood demanding his dinner money and football stickers. It was the first and only time he had given his brother a good hiding. It had taken a few minutes for them both to calm down so he could get some answers from Tom. His brother had joined the local gang of bullies and to prove himself he had to steal as much as he could from a boy they picked out for him. Ash never said it but his brother impressed him. The boy they had chosen for him was a good 5 inches taller and about 2 years older but that didn’t seem to stop Tom getting the upper hand.
He made Tom apologise and give everything back he had just stolen. He can still remember the look of hurt and anger on Tom’s face. Tom had called him a hypocrite. Ash never told him specifically want he did but Tom knew you didn’t get money that he brought home from building safes. He explained he did what he did so that Tom could concentrate on learning and becoming whatever he wanted to be. Not become a petty criminal with no hopes and no life. They never spoke about it again after that day and Tom kept clear of the gangs.
The years passed by so quickly, he had married June and Tom with his help, had just started up his own business as a plumber. Ok, so Tom hadn’t gone to university like he had hoped but he was successful and happy. Ash was very proud. They lived separate lives, he never wanted to drag his brother into his world. There were risks involved and he would protect Tom from them as long as he could. But they always met up once a month normally over a curry and a few beers. Tom always insisted on paying, his way of saying thank you and looking out for his older brother. Of course he looked after him with June when he came out of hospital with a skull fracture. June was so fond of Tom, after any visit he always left with enough food to feed an army. June always complained he was too thin and needed a girl to feed him up. He always took the food with a smile.
God, now Ash knew why you should never think of the past, once those floodgates are open there’s no way of closing them again until it has run dry. He took another sip of whiskey and rubbed his eyes.
It was after their regular night out that it happened. Tom insisted on walking home and to be honest Ash had had too much to drink to drive. So they said goodbye and promised to get in touch to arrange the next night out. He got a call from the hospital a few hours later. Tom had been mugged. June drove him to the hospital, he expected to go to A and E and pick up a bruised Tom. He knew something was wrong when no one could find any details on a Tom Morgan being brought in. After half an hour a doctor came down, apologising profusely. There had been a mix up. Another man had been mugged as well and brought into A and E but Tom had died at the scene, a single knife wound.
Ash’s world shattered around him. He blamed himself, he was the one who always looked out for his little brother, the one to shield him from the bad things in this world. But the one time he was needed he wasn’t there. He shut down completely, never said one word about it. Just tried to carry on as normal apart from the huge weight of guilt he could physically feel around his shoulders.
The drink had helped, it never affected his work but in the evenings he lost himself in the bottle. God, what a cliché but at the time that was all he could think about. Get through the day and drink enough to pass out. June had tried to get him to speak about it but he was too stubborn. In the end he stopped going home, passed out at the hotel so he didn’t have to face her or his feelings. He became detached and distance not caring about the people he was hurting. Mickey and Albert knew not to voice their concerns but he knew they always kept an eye on him. Stopping him before he went too far.
It was only a few years later that he found out June had asked them to look out for him. It was an act of love, if she couldn’t be there to look after him and help him then maybe they could. It took a week before he realised June had left him.
See, with hindsight he now knew that June needed to talk about the death of Tom, that it wasn’t all for his benefit. He wasn’t there for her and pushed her away, he kept pushing and pushing until there was no way back for either of them.