Just some randomness from too many thoughts...
There is a paper I have due Wednesday and still need to write despite someone letting me show them the proof before they hit the road. I was like "I have a deadline! Yes!" instead I am still trying to do it and need to do Chemistry homework for tomorrow, as well. (Thank you so much though, erin_giles)
Yes, I am about to turn 30, and I have homework. That feels so daunting at times. My original plan all those years ago was college, medical school, and internship by now, maybe married. Instead, I am working for Starbucks (3 years and 2 months), still doing theatre in the area, and except for my journalism, am not published (Although one of those was front page in a local Chicago paper). Sometimes I wonder what I am doing with my life.
But, turning 30 has made me introspective. This is why I am back in school after years of screwing up and taking five years off. I came back and while still doing theatre and working, I have been on the Dean's List in the College of Arts and Sciences since. I have started writing majorly again, and FINISHING stories. TARDIS Big-Bang and Children in Time was a huge accomplishment for me, finishing something novel length that it seems as if people like. I have recommitted myself to theatre and actually have a paid SM gig (not a lot, but something). And I have done new things! I have started going to conventions, like ACen, and made such great new friends. (You know who you are!) I also randomly met up with people I had only talked to online while they were in town for TorchSong. I am glad I did that. Really glad.
I was in a rut, and feel like I still am. But I have so much to look forward to.
In my rearview mirror
My life is getting clearer
The sunset sighs and slowly disappears
These trinkets once were treasure
Life changes like the weather
You grow up, grow old or hit the road 'round here
So I drive, watching white lines passing by
With my plastic dashboard Jesus, waiting there to greet us
Hey, hey, I finally found my way
Say goodbye to yesterday
Hit the gas there ain't no brakes on the lost highway
Yeah I'm busting loose, I'm letting go
Out on this open road
It's independence day on this lost highway
I don't know where I'm going
But I know where I've been
Now I'm afraid of going back again
So I drive, years and miles are flying by
And waiting there to great us
Is my plastic dashboard Jesus
Oh patron saint of lonely souls
To tell this boy which way to go
Guide the car, you got the keys
Farewell to mediocrity
Kicking off the cruise-control
And turning up the radio
Got just enough religion
And a half tank of gas come on, let's go
I finally found my way
Say goodbye to yesterday
Hit the gas there ain't no brakes on the lost highway
Yeah I'm busting loose, I'm letting go
Out on this open road
It's independence day on this lost highway
Lost Highway, Bon Jovi
So? With 30 looming on the horizon, but so much in this life that can change, who is with me on this highway? I never thought I'd have the friends I have, or the life I have led. I never thought I would lose my Mom when I was 22, or take on the roles I have in so many clans. Times have been tough for many of us, but we are still here, and we have each other. We are survivors, and we can take the world by storm.
Sorry for the rambling, I guess getting older makes me more melancholy and thoughtful. I promise to get back to giving you angst and smut, and funny children's stories. In the meantime, something random... An old college friend of mine, Scott, sent me this link. Carol Brown - Flight of the Conchords It has my name in the song and as the title! Bloody brilliant!
Yes, I am about to turn 30, and I have homework. That feels so daunting at times. My original plan all those years ago was college, medical school, and internship by now, maybe married. Instead, I am working for Starbucks (3 years and 2 months), still doing theatre in the area, and except for my journalism, am not published (Although one of those was front page in a local Chicago paper). Sometimes I wonder what I am doing with my life.
But, turning 30 has made me introspective. This is why I am back in school after years of screwing up and taking five years off. I came back and while still doing theatre and working, I have been on the Dean's List in the College of Arts and Sciences since. I have started writing majorly again, and FINISHING stories. TARDIS Big-Bang and Children in Time was a huge accomplishment for me, finishing something novel length that it seems as if people like. I have recommitted myself to theatre and actually have a paid SM gig (not a lot, but something). And I have done new things! I have started going to conventions, like ACen, and made such great new friends. (You know who you are!) I also randomly met up with people I had only talked to online while they were in town for TorchSong. I am glad I did that. Really glad.
I was in a rut, and feel like I still am. But I have so much to look forward to.
In my rearview mirror
My life is getting clearer
The sunset sighs and slowly disappears
These trinkets once were treasure
Life changes like the weather
You grow up, grow old or hit the road 'round here
So I drive, watching white lines passing by
With my plastic dashboard Jesus, waiting there to greet us
Hey, hey, I finally found my way
Say goodbye to yesterday
Hit the gas there ain't no brakes on the lost highway
Yeah I'm busting loose, I'm letting go
Out on this open road
It's independence day on this lost highway
I don't know where I'm going
But I know where I've been
Now I'm afraid of going back again
So I drive, years and miles are flying by
And waiting there to great us
Is my plastic dashboard Jesus
Oh patron saint of lonely souls
To tell this boy which way to go
Guide the car, you got the keys
Farewell to mediocrity
Kicking off the cruise-control
And turning up the radio
Got just enough religion
And a half tank of gas come on, let's go
I finally found my way
Say goodbye to yesterday
Hit the gas there ain't no brakes on the lost highway
Yeah I'm busting loose, I'm letting go
Out on this open road
It's independence day on this lost highway
Lost Highway, Bon Jovi
So? With 30 looming on the horizon, but so much in this life that can change, who is with me on this highway? I never thought I'd have the friends I have, or the life I have led. I never thought I would lose my Mom when I was 22, or take on the roles I have in so many clans. Times have been tough for many of us, but we are still here, and we have each other. We are survivors, and we can take the world by storm.
Sorry for the rambling, I guess getting older makes me more melancholy and thoughtful. I promise to get back to giving you angst and smut, and funny children's stories. In the meantime, something random... An old college friend of mine, Scott, sent me this link. Carol Brown - Flight of the Conchords It has my name in the song and as the title! Bloody brilliant!