The Meaning of Being Lonely 1/4 [Pre-Event Fic]
The first time he has sex, Changmin thinks - as Jaejoong crawls towards him from the end of the bed - that this won’t be anything like the movies he watches. Sure, his breath catches in the pit of his throat as Jae presses his knee against the inside of his thighs, but this is actually happening to him.
His stomach flips when Jae presses his hands against his chest to lower him to a horizontal position on the bed. The way that every movement is purposeful and slow makes Changmin wonder if Jaejoong knows he’s a virgin, and so scared he might pee his pants at any moment.
Jae’s eyes are dark and shining as his face comes closer to Changmin’s, and he sighs as their lips connect. Changmin’s lips burn from his breath. He’s shocked, but knows he shouldn’t be, when Jae’s tongue slides against his bottom lip, and works its way into his mouth and past his teeth, to slide against his own. Changmin can’t help but move his tongue in response, as dumbfounded as he is, and as weird as it feels.
He doesn’t pay attention to the slow fire building in the pit of his stomach until Jaejoong’s hips rub against his. When he notices the bulge that’s formed on both of them, he feels his cheeks burn and stain a deep red, and the air freezes at the base of his throat. To his utter embarassment, it comes out as a gasp, which is surprising at the same time, because Jae still has complete control over his lips.
He feels Jaejoong chuckle, breaking away from him only long enough to utter the breathy sound, and then feels his hips grind slower and harder over his own. Without warning, a groan escapes from his throat, [it felt so good], and Jae releases his lips so his head can fall back on the pillow. Jae takes to sucking on a place just beneath where his jaw ends and his ear begins, and Changmin’s hands tighten their grip on the sheets.
He feels the fire from his stomach slowly drain lower, his body painfully pressing against the fabric of his sweatpants, pleasure mounting with every move Jae made. He remembers the first time he felt this way. It was a dream. He was in front of everyone in his class including the girls and he was erect, pantsless, on show for everyone to see. It was so embarassing, but this, with Jae, was the same, except completely different. It actually felt good. Almost too good to bear anymore.
Changmin squeezed his eyes shut as the pleasure reached its peak, and squeeked [to his everlasting embarassment] when he felt himself come. His hips jerked against Jae’s, and his body trembled as the waves of pleasure radiated throughout the rest of his body.
As he came down from his high, he felt a little sad. The stain would never come out of his favorite pair of sweatpants.
Jaejoong chuckled lightly in his ear. “Already, Min? If I’d have known you were this easy, I would have done this centuries ago.”
“I’m not easy,” Changmin grumbled, throat dry and voice husky.
“Easy, and a virgin,” Jaejoong whispered, a laugh chiming in his voice. A knife stabbed right through Changmin’s pride [what was left of it] but his thoughts were swept under a rug for later when Jae slipped his hands beneath his shirt. He brought it over Changmin’s head, and discarded it across the room. He leaned down, cupping Changmin’s face in his hands, and kissed him again, tongue immediately entering and exploring.
Jae’s hands slipped down from Changmin’s face, trailing slowly down his neck, and rested on his chest. Changmin breathed in sharply when Jae’s fingers tweaked his nipples, leaving a tingling feeling behind as they continued to slip lower. He gripped the sheets at his sides tighter when Jae’s thumb played with his bellybutton. His stomach muscles threatened to convulse at the touch.
Jae broke away from their kiss, hair brushing Changmin’s chin as he looked down between them. Changmin just kept his eyes shut when he felt Jae’s fingers slip beneath the waistband of his pants, cool fingers sliding against his skin, sending goosebumps into his hairline.
An airy, three syllable laugh. “You don’t wear underwear, Min-ah?”
“Not with…pajamas,” he muttered back, peeking at Jae from half open eyes. Jae laughed again, looking back up at him. His eyes crinkled at the corners in a most attractive way, Changmin thought.
Jae slid off Changmin, removing his pants as he did. They were thrown in a completely different direction than his shirt, which made Changmin sortof cringe. Tinges of his former OCD illness were coming back. He sat up, leaning against the headboard and pulling his knees to his chest, as Jaejoong slid off the bed completely.
He watched as Jae removed his own shirt, and then slowly unbuttoned his jeans. He slipped them off without unzipping them. ‘Too skinny’ Changmin thought, but let it slide from his mind as Jae’s knee made contact with the bed again. He entwined their fingers, pulling their hands away from Changmin’s knees to rest on the bed beneath them. He leaned forward, corner of his lips upturned in a half-smile, and caught Changmin’s mouth with his.
Changmin almost grabbed back when Jae’s fingers left his, but thought it might look desperate, so he stayed put. His knees jerked forward, bumping Jae in the chest, when his hands slid up the side of his thighs, and he heard Jaejoong ‘oomf’ with the impact.
He felt Jae’s fingers reach his knees, and push them apart. His abdomen sank against his, for a moment, and Changmin melted with the heat radiating from him. He moaned again, but didn’t feel embarassed this time.
Jaejoong broke away, sliding down Changmin’s neck with his tongue. Changmin bit his lower lip, wondering what he’d do next, as he slid down further. His tongue darted in and out of his bellybutton, traced the contours of his ‘almost there’ abs, slid into the dip of his hip bones, and down…
Changmin inhaled, “Haaah, hah, uuuuuh,” when Jaejoong slid his erection into his mouth. It was so hot, Changmin felt a wave of electricity run from his erection, up his stomach, and all throughout is body. It tingled in his fingers, which reached for a purchase in Jaejoong’s raven locks, when he started sliding his tongue up and down, lips traveling to the tip, the middle, the tip again, and then swallowing him whole.
It really wasn’t long, Changmin thought, before he felt that familiar blaze rise up in his stomach again. It was so much more intense this time around. His breath came in shorter gasps, his abs tightened, and his fingers clutched Jaejoong’s silky, sweaty strands tighter as he felt the peak coming, [Haaah, HAaaah, HAH! JaeJOONG!] and then passing. In the blink of an eye. His body shook for the second time as Jaejoong pulled his lips off his cock, licking the extra cum off his lips as he did.
“Flip over.” Changmin, eyes threatening to glue themselves shut if he blinked again, raised his head to look down at Jaejoong.
“What?”
“Flip over, Min. On all fours,” Jae reiterated, sliding out from inbetween his legs. He let Jae’s now scalding hands clutch his hips and bring him up to him. Their lips met briefly, in the first chaste kiss they’d shared. “One more time,” he breathed on Changmin’s lips, then turned him around so his back was to him. Gently, he pushed Min’s shoulders down to the bed, and Changmin bent over, feeling a little embarassed again as his ass was waving in Jae’s face. In the open air. Like his dream.
He felt Jaejoong’s body press onto his back, breath like an inferno on his neck, his own probably painfully throbbing erection brushing and settling in the dip of his cheeks. It aroused him again. Everything did. Jae’s breath, his scent, his erection placed against him, the way his tongue was now gently nibbling on his earlobe. He pushed back against Jaejoong’s hips, eagerness showing between his legs again.
Jae chuckled against him, then slid his tongue past the sensitive part on the start of his hairline [shivers], down the back of his neck [near convulsions], and slowly tracing the curves of his spinal column. A hot, painful throb channeled through his abdomen, and down lower. “Ugh…Jae,” Changmin moaned, hoping that he would quit teasing, and cut to the chase.
The chase he’d never experienced before, and was a little shy to admit he wanted.
One last, steaming breath exhaled over the beginning of the curve of his ass, and then hands sliding down the rest of the way, spreading him apart again. He felt two fingers slide into him, and begin to move. In, out, spreading slightly so he would stretch. Changmin moaned at the pain, and hummed at the pleasure that soon followed.
“Oh my god, Jae…umf.” Jaejoong added a third, slickened finger into Changmin, and he nearly cried out, but stifled it in his comforter. He started pushing back, Jae’s fingers continuing to scissor in and out, spreading him further, and whimpered a little when Jaejoong came all the way out. “Ugh, Jae,” he said, turning his head a little to peer over the comforter and see what he was doing.
A moment later, Changmin felt the head of Jaejoong’s enormous, he thought, erection press up against his hole. How the hell…but his thoughts were interrupted as Jae slowly slid in. “AH,” Changmin outright cried, Jaejoong’s cock spreading and filling him much better than his fingers ever could. He clenched his teeth, and his muscles, as Jae pushed in further, skin finally touching skin, all the way.
“Changmin,” Jaejoong whispered, as he paused for a moment, “Oh my god, Changmin.”
Unintentionally, Changmin bucked his hips further against Jaejoong, sending stars crossing his vision. It was the weirdest conundrum Changmin had ever experienced. Pain and pleasure mixed so perfectly that no equation could really ever describe it. He thought, fleetingly, about giving up math in the pursuit of sex studies.
Jaejoong started moving in him, pulling out slowly, then pushing in slower. Gradually, he quickened his pace, pushing in so hard Changmin had to hold on to the sheets harder than he had before. The headboard knocked against the wall, and, through his groans and pants, Changmin thanked the gods that his parents weren’t home.
Jaejoong changed his pace, again, and went harder, deeper, staying in longer. He reached down and started rubbing Changmin’s erection in time with his thrusts. “Uuuuuugh, Jaejoong!” Changmin yelled, feeling the pleasure intensify too quickly for him to catch his breath. He came in Jaejoong’s hand a moment later, with a scream muffled into the mattress. He felt Jaejoong thrust one more time, his weakened body rocking forward from the impact, and he groaned deeply [sexily] as they fell onto the bed together.
Changmin panted his lungs back to normality, and Jaejoong fell beside him, pulling their limp forms together, fitting perfectly beside one another. He stroked the youngster’s sweaty bangs out of his face as he matched his breathing with his, and pressed his lips to his ear.
“I love you, Changmin,” he exhaled against the cup of his ear.
Changmin snaked a hand around to the other’s thigh, and squeezed lightly before falling into the black oblivion of sleep.
That was in middle school.
