(no subject)
today was an extremely bad day for me. work sucked ass, and i had so much bullshit on my mind, i was really depressed all day long and it sucked. i had to wait around 40 minutes after i clocked out just to get my pay an di hadnt eaten all day. i sorta cheered up for awhile but went back into a sort of depression later in the night and im not really sure what triggered it. i feel like im fuckin bipolar lately, cuz i can be completely happy one moment or day and then the next im extremely depressed adn worried and questioning everything i think or do. an di dont like that at all. its really fuckin hard, especially in the situation im in right now. i've had too many negative thoughts in my head and those are the things i dont want and dont need b/c thats what puts me into these depressive moods.
i dont know what it is i just feel like things are unreciprocated sometimes and i dont really know what to do. i wish things could go back 3 months when i was always happy and things were absolutely amazing. i wish one mistake didnt pretty much ruin everything i wish i still had. i just wish i still had my girlfriend. i miss kissing her, i miss her sleeping in my bed, i miss wakin up to go to work and her lying in my bed looking hot as hell no matter how bad she thinks she looks. i miss everything. i miss being happy. i miss every little thing about her that made me look forward to every day, i miss lookin forward to the day i'd get to see her. i still do, but it just doesnt seem the same. i just get scared that things dont mean as much as they do to me. i wish i knew what to do but i dont. and it sucks. i think im rambling now so im gonna try and sleep but its gonna be extremely hard. i have so much on my fuckin mind it sucks.
i dont know what it is i just feel like things are unreciprocated sometimes and i dont really know what to do. i wish things could go back 3 months when i was always happy and things were absolutely amazing. i wish one mistake didnt pretty much ruin everything i wish i still had. i just wish i still had my girlfriend. i miss kissing her, i miss her sleeping in my bed, i miss wakin up to go to work and her lying in my bed looking hot as hell no matter how bad she thinks she looks. i miss everything. i miss being happy. i miss every little thing about her that made me look forward to every day, i miss lookin forward to the day i'd get to see her. i still do, but it just doesnt seem the same. i just get scared that things dont mean as much as they do to me. i wish i knew what to do but i dont. and it sucks. i think im rambling now so im gonna try and sleep but its gonna be extremely hard. i have so much on my fuckin mind it sucks.