Wow..
I was just reading old journals and whatnot...Looking back on all that stuff, I just feel so different right now.
I struggled with my self esteem and self image a lot. I hated myself more than not. I found something different to dislike everyday, and I felt incomplete unless I had a boy in my life. I constantly wanted a guy. I wanted to be like everyone else with a boyfriend, and of course when I finally had one who actually cared, I carelessly let him go. He told me that I was typical, and I'd be attached to assholes because I don't know what's best for me. Well, let me tell you, I've learned my lesson, and I guess I have him to thank patially. I wish I could thank him, but unfortunatly I'll probably never speak to him again. Life goes on. I hate letting people go. I hate saying goodbye. I wish I could keep everyone, that I was ever close to, forever. I read all these old entries, and it was like a time machine sent me back, and I remember everything that went through my head on the days when I wrote and wrote. I had a lot of emotional problems, but I worked through them. I can safely say I have self esteem, and I love who I am. I love my life, my family, and I love my friends too. I've never been happier, and I proved it to myself. I helped myself, and I am proud of that. I used to be so hard on myself and call myself names. I can't imagine doing that now, and I'm glad. I know how I can get sometimes, though, where I'll have totally off days and feel like shit, but those days are going to happen. I'm happy, and I have myself to thank.
I miss a lot of people. I miss the way some things used to be, but I wouldn't trade it in for what I have now. I've come a long way, and I'm happy. Happy about everything.
I struggled with my self esteem and self image a lot. I hated myself more than not. I found something different to dislike everyday, and I felt incomplete unless I had a boy in my life. I constantly wanted a guy. I wanted to be like everyone else with a boyfriend, and of course when I finally had one who actually cared, I carelessly let him go. He told me that I was typical, and I'd be attached to assholes because I don't know what's best for me. Well, let me tell you, I've learned my lesson, and I guess I have him to thank patially. I wish I could thank him, but unfortunatly I'll probably never speak to him again. Life goes on. I hate letting people go. I hate saying goodbye. I wish I could keep everyone, that I was ever close to, forever. I read all these old entries, and it was like a time machine sent me back, and I remember everything that went through my head on the days when I wrote and wrote. I had a lot of emotional problems, but I worked through them. I can safely say I have self esteem, and I love who I am. I love my life, my family, and I love my friends too. I've never been happier, and I proved it to myself. I helped myself, and I am proud of that. I used to be so hard on myself and call myself names. I can't imagine doing that now, and I'm glad. I know how I can get sometimes, though, where I'll have totally off days and feel like shit, but those days are going to happen. I'm happy, and I have myself to thank.
I miss a lot of people. I miss the way some things used to be, but I wouldn't trade it in for what I have now. I've come a long way, and I'm happy. Happy about everything.