How to get away with murder
Hawthorn's coming back. Modern Family is surprisingly hilarious. Doctor Who is impressing me - although Sunday's vampire/bug extravaganza didn't fill me with thrills.
I spent Friday painting my scout hall, and it looks fabulous. I shall use the same design and colours on the bedroom of my firstborn. It's all pretty yellows and whites and baby blues. Too bad we accidentally painted over the historic door. I'm hoping nobody will notice for a little while.
Today I learnt how to get away with murder. If you're going to kill someone, make sure you're drunk (or crazy) while doing it. Intoxication is a complete defence, kids. Nothing morally dubious about it.
Alternatively, you could fake a coughing fit, black out, and drive your kids into a dam. If you choose this option, try not to tell your mate + witnesses about your evil plan beforehand.
Also, S&M is officially illegal in Australia and the UK (and probably the US). You can't consent to the infliction of actual bodily harm on your person (unless you're an AFL player or the like, which is good news for Barry Hall). As my law lecturer informed us, we learn some 'weird shit' in crim law.
Property law is where the real fun is, let me tell you. I'm up to my knees in adverse possession. Oh! Here's a clever tip: if you're after a new house, don't get a mortgage, don't save up - just go and camp on the lawn of that abandoned mansion in Toorak for 15 years. 15 years later, presto - the abandoned mansion is yours. Goodbye, housing crisis!
I spent Friday painting my scout hall, and it looks fabulous. I shall use the same design and colours on the bedroom of my firstborn. It's all pretty yellows and whites and baby blues. Too bad we accidentally painted over the historic door. I'm hoping nobody will notice for a little while.
Today I learnt how to get away with murder. If you're going to kill someone, make sure you're drunk (or crazy) while doing it. Intoxication is a complete defence, kids. Nothing morally dubious about it.
Alternatively, you could fake a coughing fit, black out, and drive your kids into a dam. If you choose this option, try not to tell your mate + witnesses about your evil plan beforehand.
Also, S&M is officially illegal in Australia and the UK (and probably the US). You can't consent to the infliction of actual bodily harm on your person (unless you're an AFL player or the like, which is good news for Barry Hall). As my law lecturer informed us, we learn some 'weird shit' in crim law.
Property law is where the real fun is, let me tell you. I'm up to my knees in adverse possession. Oh! Here's a clever tip: if you're after a new house, don't get a mortgage, don't save up - just go and camp on the lawn of that abandoned mansion in Toorak for 15 years. 15 years later, presto - the abandoned mansion is yours. Goodbye, housing crisis!