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A bunch of random short pieces of HxH fanfiction. Comments and critique will be loved.
"I’m fine! I was tired, that's all."
"Kurapica, you were running a dangerously high fever. You were delirious!" A lie, invented to strengthen Leorio's argument. In reality Kurapica woke up for a few seconds, asked for water, and passed out again.
"I was not."
"You were!" Leorio insisted, "Wasn't he, Melody?"
Melody knew it was a lie, but nodded. "You were."
"You're lying. You're both lying."
"Come on, Kurapica, there's nothing wrong with being sick, there's no shame in it."
"He's right, you know. It wasn't your fault, you couldn't have prevented it."
"Thanks for the support, but you're wrong," said Leorio, "He could have prevented it, if he slept more and ate more and didn't worry so much."
"I'm not worrying about anything!"
"Now you're lying."
"So you admit it was a lie."
"All right, fine, I was lying. I was trying to get the point across, okay? Because you're too stubborn."
"I am not."
"Stop denying it! Look, I know you're used to being right about everything, but this time you aren't. I'm the doctor here. I'm telling you you have to take better care of yourself. What would your mother think if you died of a fever because you never rest?"
Kurapica glared at him, lost for an answer.
"She wouldn't be too happy, would she? Now get back in bed before I make you."
"Getting revenge won't make you happy," said Killua. "It can't. Revenge just doesn't work that way."
"It's not happiness I'm looking for. I've made this my goal for so long, I won't be complete until it's finished."
"So you're denying yourself happiness in the process. Is that really what you want?"
Kurapica was silent, thinking. Perhaps trying to convince himself that his next words were truth.
"I don't feel that there is any happiness to deny. I can't be happy. Not with - these memories - hanging over me."
"So you do think your revenge is going to make you happy," said Killua, doggedly pursuing that one point.
It was certainly hard to deny.
"You're wrong," Killua went on, "It won't. You'd be better off forgetting about it."
"I can't forget. You just don't understand."
"Not everything," the assassin admitted, "But I think I understand at least some things. And I don't think revenge is the right answer. It'll just get the Spiders wanting revenge on you, and then..." he trailed off.
"That is the end," said Kurapica, "If I fail, and they kill me, then that's the end. No one would want vengeance for my death."
Killua counted to ten and then hit him.
"What was that for?!" Kurapica demanded, caught completely by surprise.
"You're very self-centered, aren't you?" said Killua by way of an answer.
"What are you talking about?"
"I can think of three people, just off the top of my head, who'd be upset if you died," said Killua. "If it came to that, we might actually go after them. And then they'd go after us, and so on, and that's why revenge is useless."
He seemed to think that the argument ended there. Maybe it did, for him. But not for Kurapica.
"I am not afraid of death."
He had spoken those words in perfect honesty, knowing they were true. He had been too close to death to fear it, and that was still true. The problem was what had come after.
"All I am afraid is that someday, the rage inside me will fade."
And he was afraid. He realised this now, too late to try and fix it. He was terrified of losing his resolve and thus his purpose, terrified of what was happening.
He had weakened. His friends were soothing the red-hot anger, and although he hadn't realised it until too late, it frightened him. He had not foreseen this. He fought their influence but couldn't resist it, because he didn't want to. He hadn't been truly happy in so long, finding even a small amount of happiness was sweet beyond words. Once he was alone with his thoughts, he realised it, and regretted it, and was torn. And then someone would call his name, and he would lose himself again.
How ironic, he thought, that my greatest fear is 'to be happy'. I cannot allow myself to be happy until I have completed my own appointed task - But how can I keep from being happy when I want to be?
He was weak against his friends and the emotions they woke in him, and he could only watch as they ate away at his resolve, crumbling away everything that had shaped him and guided him for four years, leaving him defenseless against their smiles and laughter.
A songfic based on the song "Fear Of The Dark" by Bob Catley. It was so perfect for Kurapica I just had to do this. At two in the morning, when I should have been asleep. My muse is cruel to me.
As the fog moves in silence, not a sound disturbs the peace of middle earth
And the cold gloom seems timeless, as he waits to fall asleep on middle earth
The other three were fast asleep, their breathing the only sound. Kurapica, however, was wide awake, watching fog creep over the ground outside the window. It crept slowly, slowly engulfing everything, giving the night a feeling like a dream. It made him uneasy, but he couldn't tear his eyes away, and he could not sleep. It had been a night exactly like this one...
Where do we go, to stop remembering?
Where do we go, to start again?
The memories of that night so long ago had come again, chasing away the cheerful mood he'd had earlier. As the darkness and the fog had spread, so had the memories, until Kurapica could no longer push them aside with other thoughts. He had no escape. No matter where he went, who he was with, those thoughts chased him. And he knew that it was his own promise of revenge that let them. To forget, he would have to throw everything away and start again. He couldn't run from himself, especially as he knew that, if he did throw away those memories, he would never be complete.
Now the full moon is climbing through the window like a thief on middle earth
To the black room he lies in as he prays 'my soul to keep' on middle earth
The moon showed through the clouds, throwing shadows over the floor. Had it been a full moon, that night? Kurapica couldn't remember. He had thought every detail of that night had been burnt irrevocably into his mind, but somehow he could not remember the moon. The only memory of a full moon was the night Gon decided they had to go swimming in the moonlight. Kurapica remembered Leorio remarking on how bright it was...
Where do we go, to find a remedy?
How could we know, it never ends
But the moon slipped back behind the clouds, and in the darkness Kurapica was thrown back to the murder of his family. Black and scarlet, sorrow and rage and pain. It seemed like he would be following the Genei Ryodan forever, always drived by the need for a balm to soothe his pain and his hatred. He told himself that revenge was the cure, but how could he be certain?
It's a fear of the dark he's feeling through the tears as his heart despairs
And it tears him apart revealing every piece every part is scared
Someone once told him that all fear is just fear of death, but Kurapica wasn't afraid of death. He was afraid of losing his resolve, afraid that someday he would no longer be determined enough to kill the Spiders. And he was afraid that if he slept, that night would come again in painful detail...
It's a fear of the dark he's feeding in his mind it's beyond compare
But there's no turning back, no leaving, while the fear of the dark is there
He couldn't sleep, not while there was the threat of those nightmares hanging over him. As long as those nightmares remained, he must keep to his goal. When he had his revenge, he told himself, they would go away. His family would be at peace, and the dreams would stop...
It's a nightmare that's silent, he remains his world in chains on middle earth
It's a private asylum, locked away till daylight breaks on middle earth
The other three were sleeping peacefully, untroubled by nightmares and memories, and Kurapica stayed awake, locked in his own thoughts, resolved not to tell anyone else, in self-imposed solitude. Bound in his own chains.
With Gon, everything was an adventure, because he was interested in everyone and everything. Killua was amazed at how long Gon could talk cheerfully with a total stranger... And how many people saw Gon as a friend. It was as if somehow the world changed completely as soon as Killua laid eyes on him. Killua'd never noticed how blue the sky was, until Gon pointed out that that blue stretched on forever.
"It's all clear close up," he said, "But it goes on until the end of the world, and it builds its colour as it goes. And there is no end of the world, so it's always getting bluer."
With Gon, the world, the whole, endless world, was perfectly, shiningly new every morning. No one else Killua knew would spend hours watching an insect roll a raindrop up a branch, then point out that to someone really big, the whole world could be a raindrop, rolling down a leaf.
"Only 'cause we're so small, to us it's so slow we don't even notice."
"Wouldn't we be able to tell the difference when it moved, though?"
"No, 'cause if it moves slowly enough then we'd die before it moved this far." A barely visible distance between two fingers.
"We're not inside a raindrop, though," said Killua sceptically.
"How would we know? I bet that beetle this this clearing is the world. He's so small, he can't see any further."
That one kept Killua thinking about beetles for a quarter of an hour. Only Gon could make that happen.
"There are insects that only live a day," said Gon, "To them, we're practically immortal."
"Yeah?"
"And there could be people somewhere who live so long they're immortal to us."
"That's crazy."
"No, it's not! They'd just have to be really big, see?"
Only Gon could make Killua believe something like that. Gon could make him believe almost anything.
Because Gon and Killua are just TOO adorable. <3<3<3
"Oh, come on, Kurapica!" said Leorio, "Have you no sense of fun?"
Kurapica looked up from his book. "I am perfectly content as I am, thank you."
"But you can read whenever you want! This is special! I mean, come on, how often d'you see weather like this?"
"Come on, Kurapica!" Gon urged, "The water's great! You don't have to swim if you don't want to, but you should at least try."
"Just one toe in the water and I'll stop bothering you," Leorio challenged.
"No, thank you very much," said Kurapica rather coldly, "Please leave me alone."
"What, do you not know how to swim? I can teach you."
"I know perfectly well how to swim!" Kurapica snapped, "Stop bothering me!"
"Oh, fine," said Leorio, and walked away down the beach. He was determined to get Kurapica in the water somehow, but he had to think how first. Kurapica, unaware of Leorio's plans, returned to his reading.
Then Leorio sneaked up behind him and poured a bucket of water over his head.
Gon and Killua, who had been having a water fight, were startled into silence by the sight of Kurapica jumping up and hitting Leorio in the face with his book. Leorio grabbed the book and tossed it away, and Kurapica stood there, fuming and dripping.
"Man, if looks could kill!" said Leorio, "What's the problem? You'll dry off."
"I hate getting wet," Kurapica snarled.
"Oh, come on, it's not that bad! You'll be totally dry in a minute, with this sun."
"Look out, Leorio, he's set for revenge!" Killua yelled.
"I hate getting wet," Kurapica said again, "Especially when it's as a consequence of having a bucketful of water dropped on my head!"
"The whole point of coming to the beach is to get wet," said Leorio, "Really. Just come in the water and you'll like it."
"I was just fine where I was, thank you very much! What's wrong with you, why can't you leave me be?"
"You never relax, I'm trying to get you to relax!"
"What if I don't want to relax?"
"Then I'll just have to work harder."
"It won't work! Especially with the methods you use."
It couldn't be denied that Leorio had only succeeded in making Kurapica lose his temper. While Leorio was trying to find a way around this, Killua came up behind him and threw water over them them both.
"What was that for?" Leorio hollered, rounding on hi.
"It's proven to help people calm down," said Killua innocently.
"I just said-" Kurapica began, trying to wring water out of his shirt. He was interrupted by Gon full-body tackling him from behind. They both fell into the water with a huge splash. Leorio, meanwhile, was trying to get back at Killua, despite the fact that Killua had done exactly what Leorio himself did a moment before, and within seconds it was a free-for-all melee.
Finally, between the two of them, Gon and Killua pinned Kurapica in the shallows and the battle ended.
"Get off of me," said Kurapica, "You're getting sand in my eyes."
"First admit you enjoyed that," said Killua with an evil grin.
"What difference does it make? Get off!"
"We're your friends, it's our job to make you enjoy yourself. And relax, like Leorio said. There! See? You're laughing."
"I'm not."
"You are too! I can feel it."
"Only because you're sitting on me."
"That makes no difference whatever. Admit you're having fun and we'll let me go."
"All right, fine!" said Kurapica, who really was laughing now, "I'm having fun! Now get off me, you little tyrant."
Killua stood up and helped Kurapica, now completely soaked and covered in sand, but smiling, to his feet.
"You can have this back now," said Leorio, offering him his book (also wet and sandy), "You went in the water, so I have to keep my promise and stop bothering you."
"No, that's all right, I still owe you-" Before Leorio realised what he meant, he'd thrown the book up past the tide line and knocked Leorio over into the water. "There. Now we're even."
"Oh yeah?" said Leorio, grabbing Kurapica's ankle, and the water fight started over again.
"Admit you're glad I dropped that water on you," said Leorio as they were returning to Gon's house that evening.
"You're all ganging up on me!" Kurapica protested, "It's unfair!"
"Well?"
"Yes. I'm glad. You win, Leorio, I'm grateful to you for convincing me to go in the water... But you only win this time."
"Do your worst, Kurta," said Leorio, grinning, "I'm ready for you."
I kind of... don't really like this one... But... Oh well. I don't know what to do to it to make it better.
"Are you sure your fever's completely gone?" Melody asked, concerned. Kurapica looked up, frowning.
"Yes, didn't I say I it was, before?"
"You feel all right?"
"Yes! I don't understand why you're all so determined to make a big deal of it, I was just tired, that's all, and I'm fine now."
He didn't look fine, and his heartbeat still didn't sound 'fine' to Melody. But any more questions, any more concern, and he'd only get more annoyed. She contented herself with watching as he returned to his reading. It was the same book he'd had on the train, when they'd first met - An accidental encounter that she had rightly felt was significant, even at the time. He hadn't gotten very far, considering how long he'd had to read it. But then, they had been very busy. She hoped the fact that he wasn't completely absorbed in his own thoughts was a good thing.
"You're staring at me."
She blinked, jumped, stammered out a hasty denial that rang completely untrue even to her own ears.
"It's very uncomfortable," said Kurapica, closing the book and laying it down beside him. "Is there something you want?"
Melody shook her head. "No, no. I was just..."
He didn't say anything, but it was obvious from his expression that that didn't satisfy him.
"I was just wondering..." she said, embarrassed, "Are you sure it's all right for you-"
"Not to be getting more rest?" he asked, "Killua is the only one who has not asked me that, since I got up - I think perhaps he would have, had we seen each other. I slept far too long, and because of me you were inconvenienced, and Leorio as well."
"No," Melody protested, "It wasn't inconvenient at all! We were perfectly willing to take care of you, it was - We're all worried about you, Kurapica."
Leorio's request came back to her, then, and she wondered what she would do if a situation came up in which she really had to do something - Stop Kurapica from acting without judgement, for instance. She wasn't sure how much she'd be able to do.
"Hmm," he said, picking up the book again and half-opening it, "There's no need to worry. I am perfectly all right."
You're not, Melody wanted to say, You're very much not all right, and you know it - Or at least, you should. If it's this obvious to me, then it should be obvious to you. But instead, she turned and looked out the window. Kurapica was frowning at his book, now, his eyes immobile. He wasn't reading.
"You don't think..." Melody said hesitantly, "That it's a good thing, to have people who care enough to worry?"
He blinked, but didn't look up. She could practically hear him thinking that one over.
"I said it the first time we met, didn't I?" she said, gathering her courage, "'In a journey, one must rely on one's friends'. You don't think that's true?"
"It is..." said Kurapica slowly, not agreeing with her, starting a sentence he didn't finish.
"You couldn't have done what you did without Gon and Killua's help," she said carefully.
"I put them in danger," said Kurapica, "It would have been better if I had not accepted their offer."
"It doesn't make you feel better to know you have friends who are willing to risk their lives for you?"
He was looking away from her now, trying to avoid the questions. She had hit on at least part of what was bothering him.
"Please," he said, after a long, painful silence, "Leave me alone."
"Don't try to hide from your own feelings, Kurapica," said Melody, "You'll feel much better if you don't try to lie to yourself."
"I'm not trying to lie to myself!" he said, the somewhat shrill defensiveness that could only mean he was, "I can't depend on my friends to help me, because if I do, then they are in danger! I don't - I can't let that happen. Never. Never again."
"I'm sorry," said Melody, meaning it. The look on his face was painful. "I won't mention it again."
"It's a paradox," said Kurapica, "A trap. I don't want to lose my companions again, so I push you away..." his voice trailed off into silence, his face troubled. Melody's sharp ears picked up sadness and confusion, that painful song she wished she could soothe somehow. She wanted so much to comfort him, but didn't know how. She didn't know if it was even possible, at this point. "But..." He shook his head, and returned to the book. The conversation died there, and the rest of the trip was weathered in silence.
I really like Melody, for some reason. She's just such a nice person. And also, the idea of the "Sonata of Darkness" (Although I can't read the explanation of what exactly it is) is just totally cool to me as a musician... And she's nice to Kurapica, so there. Ha. Admit she's awesome! (I think she's underrated because she's not very pretty)
Again, please comment! ANYTHING you have to say will be greatly appreciated, even if it's "I hate you, go away and never come back"
"I’m fine! I was tired, that's all."
"Kurapica, you were running a dangerously high fever. You were delirious!" A lie, invented to strengthen Leorio's argument. In reality Kurapica woke up for a few seconds, asked for water, and passed out again.
"I was not."
"You were!" Leorio insisted, "Wasn't he, Melody?"
Melody knew it was a lie, but nodded. "You were."
"You're lying. You're both lying."
"Come on, Kurapica, there's nothing wrong with being sick, there's no shame in it."
"He's right, you know. It wasn't your fault, you couldn't have prevented it."
"Thanks for the support, but you're wrong," said Leorio, "He could have prevented it, if he slept more and ate more and didn't worry so much."
"I'm not worrying about anything!"
"Now you're lying."
"So you admit it was a lie."
"All right, fine, I was lying. I was trying to get the point across, okay? Because you're too stubborn."
"I am not."
"Stop denying it! Look, I know you're used to being right about everything, but this time you aren't. I'm the doctor here. I'm telling you you have to take better care of yourself. What would your mother think if you died of a fever because you never rest?"
Kurapica glared at him, lost for an answer.
"She wouldn't be too happy, would she? Now get back in bed before I make you."
"Getting revenge won't make you happy," said Killua. "It can't. Revenge just doesn't work that way."
"It's not happiness I'm looking for. I've made this my goal for so long, I won't be complete until it's finished."
"So you're denying yourself happiness in the process. Is that really what you want?"
Kurapica was silent, thinking. Perhaps trying to convince himself that his next words were truth.
"I don't feel that there is any happiness to deny. I can't be happy. Not with - these memories - hanging over me."
"So you do think your revenge is going to make you happy," said Killua, doggedly pursuing that one point.
It was certainly hard to deny.
"You're wrong," Killua went on, "It won't. You'd be better off forgetting about it."
"I can't forget. You just don't understand."
"Not everything," the assassin admitted, "But I think I understand at least some things. And I don't think revenge is the right answer. It'll just get the Spiders wanting revenge on you, and then..." he trailed off.
"That is the end," said Kurapica, "If I fail, and they kill me, then that's the end. No one would want vengeance for my death."
Killua counted to ten and then hit him.
"What was that for?!" Kurapica demanded, caught completely by surprise.
"You're very self-centered, aren't you?" said Killua by way of an answer.
"What are you talking about?"
"I can think of three people, just off the top of my head, who'd be upset if you died," said Killua. "If it came to that, we might actually go after them. And then they'd go after us, and so on, and that's why revenge is useless."
He seemed to think that the argument ended there. Maybe it did, for him. But not for Kurapica.
"I am not afraid of death."
He had spoken those words in perfect honesty, knowing they were true. He had been too close to death to fear it, and that was still true. The problem was what had come after.
"All I am afraid is that someday, the rage inside me will fade."
And he was afraid. He realised this now, too late to try and fix it. He was terrified of losing his resolve and thus his purpose, terrified of what was happening.
He had weakened. His friends were soothing the red-hot anger, and although he hadn't realised it until too late, it frightened him. He had not foreseen this. He fought their influence but couldn't resist it, because he didn't want to. He hadn't been truly happy in so long, finding even a small amount of happiness was sweet beyond words. Once he was alone with his thoughts, he realised it, and regretted it, and was torn. And then someone would call his name, and he would lose himself again.
How ironic, he thought, that my greatest fear is 'to be happy'. I cannot allow myself to be happy until I have completed my own appointed task - But how can I keep from being happy when I want to be?
He was weak against his friends and the emotions they woke in him, and he could only watch as they ate away at his resolve, crumbling away everything that had shaped him and guided him for four years, leaving him defenseless against their smiles and laughter.
A songfic based on the song "Fear Of The Dark" by Bob Catley. It was so perfect for Kurapica I just had to do this. At two in the morning, when I should have been asleep. My muse is cruel to me.
As the fog moves in silence, not a sound disturbs the peace of middle earth
And the cold gloom seems timeless, as he waits to fall asleep on middle earth
The other three were fast asleep, their breathing the only sound. Kurapica, however, was wide awake, watching fog creep over the ground outside the window. It crept slowly, slowly engulfing everything, giving the night a feeling like a dream. It made him uneasy, but he couldn't tear his eyes away, and he could not sleep. It had been a night exactly like this one...
Where do we go, to stop remembering?
Where do we go, to start again?
The memories of that night so long ago had come again, chasing away the cheerful mood he'd had earlier. As the darkness and the fog had spread, so had the memories, until Kurapica could no longer push them aside with other thoughts. He had no escape. No matter where he went, who he was with, those thoughts chased him. And he knew that it was his own promise of revenge that let them. To forget, he would have to throw everything away and start again. He couldn't run from himself, especially as he knew that, if he did throw away those memories, he would never be complete.
Now the full moon is climbing through the window like a thief on middle earth
To the black room he lies in as he prays 'my soul to keep' on middle earth
The moon showed through the clouds, throwing shadows over the floor. Had it been a full moon, that night? Kurapica couldn't remember. He had thought every detail of that night had been burnt irrevocably into his mind, but somehow he could not remember the moon. The only memory of a full moon was the night Gon decided they had to go swimming in the moonlight. Kurapica remembered Leorio remarking on how bright it was...
Where do we go, to find a remedy?
How could we know, it never ends
But the moon slipped back behind the clouds, and in the darkness Kurapica was thrown back to the murder of his family. Black and scarlet, sorrow and rage and pain. It seemed like he would be following the Genei Ryodan forever, always drived by the need for a balm to soothe his pain and his hatred. He told himself that revenge was the cure, but how could he be certain?
It's a fear of the dark he's feeling through the tears as his heart despairs
And it tears him apart revealing every piece every part is scared
Someone once told him that all fear is just fear of death, but Kurapica wasn't afraid of death. He was afraid of losing his resolve, afraid that someday he would no longer be determined enough to kill the Spiders. And he was afraid that if he slept, that night would come again in painful detail...
It's a fear of the dark he's feeding in his mind it's beyond compare
But there's no turning back, no leaving, while the fear of the dark is there
He couldn't sleep, not while there was the threat of those nightmares hanging over him. As long as those nightmares remained, he must keep to his goal. When he had his revenge, he told himself, they would go away. His family would be at peace, and the dreams would stop...
It's a nightmare that's silent, he remains his world in chains on middle earth
It's a private asylum, locked away till daylight breaks on middle earth
The other three were sleeping peacefully, untroubled by nightmares and memories, and Kurapica stayed awake, locked in his own thoughts, resolved not to tell anyone else, in self-imposed solitude. Bound in his own chains.
With Gon, everything was an adventure, because he was interested in everyone and everything. Killua was amazed at how long Gon could talk cheerfully with a total stranger... And how many people saw Gon as a friend. It was as if somehow the world changed completely as soon as Killua laid eyes on him. Killua'd never noticed how blue the sky was, until Gon pointed out that that blue stretched on forever.
"It's all clear close up," he said, "But it goes on until the end of the world, and it builds its colour as it goes. And there is no end of the world, so it's always getting bluer."
With Gon, the world, the whole, endless world, was perfectly, shiningly new every morning. No one else Killua knew would spend hours watching an insect roll a raindrop up a branch, then point out that to someone really big, the whole world could be a raindrop, rolling down a leaf.
"Only 'cause we're so small, to us it's so slow we don't even notice."
"Wouldn't we be able to tell the difference when it moved, though?"
"No, 'cause if it moves slowly enough then we'd die before it moved this far." A barely visible distance between two fingers.
"We're not inside a raindrop, though," said Killua sceptically.
"How would we know? I bet that beetle this this clearing is the world. He's so small, he can't see any further."
That one kept Killua thinking about beetles for a quarter of an hour. Only Gon could make that happen.
"There are insects that only live a day," said Gon, "To them, we're practically immortal."
"Yeah?"
"And there could be people somewhere who live so long they're immortal to us."
"That's crazy."
"No, it's not! They'd just have to be really big, see?"
Only Gon could make Killua believe something like that. Gon could make him believe almost anything.
Because Gon and Killua are just TOO adorable. <3<3<3
"Oh, come on, Kurapica!" said Leorio, "Have you no sense of fun?"
Kurapica looked up from his book. "I am perfectly content as I am, thank you."
"But you can read whenever you want! This is special! I mean, come on, how often d'you see weather like this?"
"Come on, Kurapica!" Gon urged, "The water's great! You don't have to swim if you don't want to, but you should at least try."
"Just one toe in the water and I'll stop bothering you," Leorio challenged.
"No, thank you very much," said Kurapica rather coldly, "Please leave me alone."
"What, do you not know how to swim? I can teach you."
"I know perfectly well how to swim!" Kurapica snapped, "Stop bothering me!"
"Oh, fine," said Leorio, and walked away down the beach. He was determined to get Kurapica in the water somehow, but he had to think how first. Kurapica, unaware of Leorio's plans, returned to his reading.
Then Leorio sneaked up behind him and poured a bucket of water over his head.
Gon and Killua, who had been having a water fight, were startled into silence by the sight of Kurapica jumping up and hitting Leorio in the face with his book. Leorio grabbed the book and tossed it away, and Kurapica stood there, fuming and dripping.
"Man, if looks could kill!" said Leorio, "What's the problem? You'll dry off."
"I hate getting wet," Kurapica snarled.
"Oh, come on, it's not that bad! You'll be totally dry in a minute, with this sun."
"Look out, Leorio, he's set for revenge!" Killua yelled.
"I hate getting wet," Kurapica said again, "Especially when it's as a consequence of having a bucketful of water dropped on my head!"
"The whole point of coming to the beach is to get wet," said Leorio, "Really. Just come in the water and you'll like it."
"I was just fine where I was, thank you very much! What's wrong with you, why can't you leave me be?"
"You never relax, I'm trying to get you to relax!"
"What if I don't want to relax?"
"Then I'll just have to work harder."
"It won't work! Especially with the methods you use."
It couldn't be denied that Leorio had only succeeded in making Kurapica lose his temper. While Leorio was trying to find a way around this, Killua came up behind him and threw water over them them both.
"What was that for?" Leorio hollered, rounding on hi.
"It's proven to help people calm down," said Killua innocently.
"I just said-" Kurapica began, trying to wring water out of his shirt. He was interrupted by Gon full-body tackling him from behind. They both fell into the water with a huge splash. Leorio, meanwhile, was trying to get back at Killua, despite the fact that Killua had done exactly what Leorio himself did a moment before, and within seconds it was a free-for-all melee.
Finally, between the two of them, Gon and Killua pinned Kurapica in the shallows and the battle ended.
"Get off of me," said Kurapica, "You're getting sand in my eyes."
"First admit you enjoyed that," said Killua with an evil grin.
"What difference does it make? Get off!"
"We're your friends, it's our job to make you enjoy yourself. And relax, like Leorio said. There! See? You're laughing."
"I'm not."
"You are too! I can feel it."
"Only because you're sitting on me."
"That makes no difference whatever. Admit you're having fun and we'll let me go."
"All right, fine!" said Kurapica, who really was laughing now, "I'm having fun! Now get off me, you little tyrant."
Killua stood up and helped Kurapica, now completely soaked and covered in sand, but smiling, to his feet.
"You can have this back now," said Leorio, offering him his book (also wet and sandy), "You went in the water, so I have to keep my promise and stop bothering you."
"No, that's all right, I still owe you-" Before Leorio realised what he meant, he'd thrown the book up past the tide line and knocked Leorio over into the water. "There. Now we're even."
"Oh yeah?" said Leorio, grabbing Kurapica's ankle, and the water fight started over again.
"Admit you're glad I dropped that water on you," said Leorio as they were returning to Gon's house that evening.
"You're all ganging up on me!" Kurapica protested, "It's unfair!"
"Well?"
"Yes. I'm glad. You win, Leorio, I'm grateful to you for convincing me to go in the water... But you only win this time."
"Do your worst, Kurta," said Leorio, grinning, "I'm ready for you."
I kind of... don't really like this one... But... Oh well. I don't know what to do to it to make it better.
"Are you sure your fever's completely gone?" Melody asked, concerned. Kurapica looked up, frowning.
"Yes, didn't I say I it was, before?"
"You feel all right?"
"Yes! I don't understand why you're all so determined to make a big deal of it, I was just tired, that's all, and I'm fine now."
He didn't look fine, and his heartbeat still didn't sound 'fine' to Melody. But any more questions, any more concern, and he'd only get more annoyed. She contented herself with watching as he returned to his reading. It was the same book he'd had on the train, when they'd first met - An accidental encounter that she had rightly felt was significant, even at the time. He hadn't gotten very far, considering how long he'd had to read it. But then, they had been very busy. She hoped the fact that he wasn't completely absorbed in his own thoughts was a good thing.
"You're staring at me."
She blinked, jumped, stammered out a hasty denial that rang completely untrue even to her own ears.
"It's very uncomfortable," said Kurapica, closing the book and laying it down beside him. "Is there something you want?"
Melody shook her head. "No, no. I was just..."
He didn't say anything, but it was obvious from his expression that that didn't satisfy him.
"I was just wondering..." she said, embarrassed, "Are you sure it's all right for you-"
"Not to be getting more rest?" he asked, "Killua is the only one who has not asked me that, since I got up - I think perhaps he would have, had we seen each other. I slept far too long, and because of me you were inconvenienced, and Leorio as well."
"No," Melody protested, "It wasn't inconvenient at all! We were perfectly willing to take care of you, it was - We're all worried about you, Kurapica."
Leorio's request came back to her, then, and she wondered what she would do if a situation came up in which she really had to do something - Stop Kurapica from acting without judgement, for instance. She wasn't sure how much she'd be able to do.
"Hmm," he said, picking up the book again and half-opening it, "There's no need to worry. I am perfectly all right."
You're not, Melody wanted to say, You're very much not all right, and you know it - Or at least, you should. If it's this obvious to me, then it should be obvious to you. But instead, she turned and looked out the window. Kurapica was frowning at his book, now, his eyes immobile. He wasn't reading.
"You don't think..." Melody said hesitantly, "That it's a good thing, to have people who care enough to worry?"
He blinked, but didn't look up. She could practically hear him thinking that one over.
"I said it the first time we met, didn't I?" she said, gathering her courage, "'In a journey, one must rely on one's friends'. You don't think that's true?"
"It is..." said Kurapica slowly, not agreeing with her, starting a sentence he didn't finish.
"You couldn't have done what you did without Gon and Killua's help," she said carefully.
"I put them in danger," said Kurapica, "It would have been better if I had not accepted their offer."
"It doesn't make you feel better to know you have friends who are willing to risk their lives for you?"
He was looking away from her now, trying to avoid the questions. She had hit on at least part of what was bothering him.
"Please," he said, after a long, painful silence, "Leave me alone."
"Don't try to hide from your own feelings, Kurapica," said Melody, "You'll feel much better if you don't try to lie to yourself."
"I'm not trying to lie to myself!" he said, the somewhat shrill defensiveness that could only mean he was, "I can't depend on my friends to help me, because if I do, then they are in danger! I don't - I can't let that happen. Never. Never again."
"I'm sorry," said Melody, meaning it. The look on his face was painful. "I won't mention it again."
"It's a paradox," said Kurapica, "A trap. I don't want to lose my companions again, so I push you away..." his voice trailed off into silence, his face troubled. Melody's sharp ears picked up sadness and confusion, that painful song she wished she could soothe somehow. She wanted so much to comfort him, but didn't know how. She didn't know if it was even possible, at this point. "But..." He shook his head, and returned to the book. The conversation died there, and the rest of the trip was weathered in silence.
I really like Melody, for some reason. She's just such a nice person. And also, the idea of the "Sonata of Darkness" (Although I can't read the explanation of what exactly it is) is just totally cool to me as a musician... And she's nice to Kurapica, so there. Ha. Admit she's awesome! (I think she's underrated because she's not very pretty)
Again, please comment! ANYTHING you have to say will be greatly appreciated, even if it's "I hate you, go away and never come back"