Not Dean: Part Four of My Brother's Keeper
Title: Not Dean
Series: My Brother’s Keeper
Author: Hunters_Retreat
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Summary: Sammy wakes up with a terrible headache, and a bit of trouble with his memory.
Not Dean
Chapter Four of My Brother's Keeper
He woke with a headache and swore lightly as he sat up, rubbing his forehead. He’d slept in, but it was the weekend and he didn’t have anyplace to be today so that wasn’t a problem. He doubted Dean would be up just yet either. A smile crossed his face at the thought of Dean in the next room. Of course, Jess was up so she might have made it her mission to wake him up as well. Dean was too polite to give her hell about waking him up to help with things like breakfast but it was really only a matter of time. He thought there was probably something wrong with him that he was looking forward to that moment.
Jessica came into the bedroom, still in pajamas but looking like she’d already had a shower and was ready to face the world. It didn’t really matter. Even rumpled and disheveled she was beautiful. She took one look at his face and shook her head. “Another headache?” She asked. He didn’t have time to answer before she was blowing past him and to the bathroom to bring him some pain relievers and a glass of water. “There. Because there is no way I’m staying home because you have a headache.” He looked up in confusion and she sighed. “Girl’s day out remember?” When he still looked confused she sat beside him. “Come on Sam, remember? You promised to take care of Dean today so I could get out of the house for a while.”
“Ya, sure Jess.” He didn’t remember anything of the sort, but when did she try to stick around just because Dean was there? Most of the time she gave them their space.
She flashed him a brilliant smile and kissed him lightly. “Speaking of which, I think I hear him. Be right back.”
Sam took a deep breath, then popped the pills and downed the water. Getting out of bed completely, he took a quick shower and got dressed, pulling on his favorite worn jeans and tee shirt. He pulled on a short sleeve button up but left it unbuttoned, and then threw a pair of socks on just as Jessica peeked her head in. “Alright. He’s awake. Mind keeping an eye on him while I finish getting ready?”
“He’s not going to eat the furniture Jess.” He said with a half smile.
“Says you.” She gave him a quick kiss and then pushed him out the bedroom door.
Sam laughed lightly as he walked into the front room. He stopped as soon as he got there, looking around. The first problem was that there was no Dean on the couch. There was no sign that Dean had ever been on the couch.
He began to notice other things then. The photo of he and Dean had been replaced by one of he and his Dad, a photo he didn’t recognize at all. He must have been about 16 in the picture and he and his Dad were both smiling at the camera, sitting atop the Impala’s hood. He shook his head. At 16 he and his Dad could barely talk for two minutes without getting into a fight. He couldn’t remember ever getting a picture taken with him like that.
All of Jess’s candles on the tables were gone, as well as the little trinkets she kept. The bare floor was covered in a soft rug and stack of newspapers and old magazines was replaced by a wicker basket.
And in the corner, where there had been a desk to study on, there was …
He took a step back at the same time the noise began. He covered his ears, not at all understanding what it was that was making it. Damn it! Where was Dean and what the hell had happened?
Jess came out of the bedroom, make up complete but still in her pajamas. “What did you do Samuel?” She asked, walking to the corner.
In place of the desk was a bassinette. Jessica reached inside and pulled out it’s screaming occupant. “It’s OK Dean, Mommy’s got you.” She held him tight, one finger reaching in to touch his cheek lightly. “I know, I know, Daddy’s kind of scary sometimes isn’t he? It’s alright. He’s still learning. Don’t you worry Dean-o, he’d gonna turn out just fine.”
She looked up at Sam and frowned at his pale face and expression. “Sam? What’s wrong?”
“Dean?”
“He’s fine Sam. Look, I know you’ve been afraid to handle him too much, but you need to get used to it. He’s your son and he’s not going away.” She walked over and handed the baby to Sam, refusing to let him back away. “He’s not going to break Sam, you have to trust yourself with him. Really. You do fine once you stop worrying about it.”
There was a car horn and Jess cursed before running out the room. She was rushing past a few minutes later, kissing him on the cheek. “I have my phone if you need to call me, but you’ll be fine Sam. And thank you for letting me out today. I know you’re still afraid to be along with him, but this means a lot. 3 months being cooped up is too much for me.” She kissed the baby and then Sam, but stopped as she reached the door. She looked back at Sam, looking dumbfounded at the bundle in his arms, then took a deep breath, steeled her reserve, and walked out to the car where her friends were waiting to take her for some well deserved pampering.
Sam stared at the bundle in his arms who stared right back at him. The baby squirmed and Sam nearly dropped him at the unexpected movement. What the hell was happening? This couldn’t be Dean. This burbling, giggling thing couldn’t be his brother. But he had the same green eyes and when Sam touched his forehead with his finger there was a flash of recognition that he couldn’t suppress.
He sat the baby on the padded rug and looked in the wicker basket and found exactly what he’d thought it would hold. Toys. He pulled some out and made sure the baby was happy there, then began looking through the house to see what else had changed.
Two hours later Sam was exhausted. A diaper change had ended in both of them having to change clothes, a feeding that had nearly caused another one except that Sam saw the rags on the couch arm and remembered to put one over this shoulder as he burped the baby. The baby. Never Dean. The baby. Never his son or Jessica’s son. Only the baby. Because Dean was his older brother, his lover, and this was not his Dean.
Only there was no trace of Dean in the house. When he went online there was no trace of a Dean Winchester, other than the one that had been born on January 24, 2006. There was still the mention of his mother’s death when he was 6 months old and he found the remnants of his former life, the fake id’s and hidden weapons tucked away where he was sure Jess would never find them.
He took a deep breath as he pulled out his phone and scrolled through the numbers, not finding Dean listed there either. He hadn’t expected him to be on there at that point, but he was looking for someone else. Finding it and hitting the dial button, he waited as it rang.
“Hello?”
“Dad?”
“Sammy?” He wasn’t sure what to say but John continued when he hesitated. “Sammy, what’s wrong? Is something wrong with Jess? Or Dean?”
He closed his eyes, trying to figure out what to do. “Dad, I think something’s wrong. I … I think …”
“Sammy?”
“Yeah Dad?”
“I’m on my way.”
The connection died then and Sam stared at the phone. He was on his way? He had no idea what to make of that. Since when did his Dad stop what he was doing to check on Sam? And how did he know about Jess and … the baby?
He was going to have a breakdown, wanted to run through the house screaming and break apart every little thing he saw different, from the bottles stacked nicely in the cabinets, to the diapers under the bathroom sink, to the pictures he didn’t remember posing for, when the baby looked up at him and giggled again.
“You don’t know what’s going on do you?” He asked as he got off the couch and lay on his stomach in front of him.
The baby regarded him for a minute with serious green eyes and cocked his head to one side. Sam laughed and that seemed to make the baby happy because then he was gurgling again and pulling at Sam’s nose.
A half hour later, the baby was sleeping in the bassinet and Sam was laying on the couch, thinking about nap time himself when there was a sharp knock on the door. He took a deep breath and answered it, surprise coloring his face as he opened the door.
“Dad?”
“Sammy?” He gave Sam a quick hug then walked into the apartment. “Dean OK?”
Sam nodded. “The baby’s fine. Asleep actually.”
His Dad gave him a quick one over before stepping into the front room and taking a look at the sleeping figure there. The smile that crept over his face was soft and warm, one that Sam wished he had seen more of in his own past.
When John made sure the baby was OK, the stepped out of the room and into the kitchen where Sam made coffee to keep his nerves from getting to him.
“Sammy, what’s going on? Jess warned me she was going out today, but I don’t think that’s what this is all about.”
Sam shook his head as he took a seat across from his father at the kitchen table. “This might sound a little crazy, but I need you to work with me on this, alright?”
“Sure Sammy.”
The look his father gave him was so concerned that it made him ache inside. How many times had he just wanted to know that his father cared more about him than the damn hunt?
He shook his head. “Alright. I need to know some things, and they’re probably basic things that you think I should already know, but here goes. First, why are you so close to Stanford today?”
“Today?” His dad gave him an odd smile. “I live in Atherton Sammy. I moved there when you came to school. You’re just lucky you called me today because I’m leaving on a hunt tomorrow.”
He closed his eyes and tried to process that. “Alright. So you’re still hunting. We hunted, while I was growing up. What about my brother?”
John’s concerned look turned alarmed. “You don’t have a brother Sam.”
“I never had an older brother named Dean?”
“No. Sam, what’s going on here?”
He felt sick. He stood up, pacing through the room. “I went to sleep last night and I had an older brother named Dean. He was 4 years older than me. He carried me out of the house the night Mom died. We hunted, and he always looked after me, took care of me. When I left for college, you told me not to come back and I didn’t, but then you went missing and Dean came for me and we started looking for you and hunting around school. But when I woke up this morning, Jess has a baby named Dean and … you live here? Dad, you and I couldn’t stand to be in the same room since I was 15. There’s no way you’d set up a home base, let alone one close to me.”
John stood and watched Sam. “Sammy, it was just you and me in that fire. I … I wanted to hunt the thing that did it, but I had to wait until you were old enough. I made contacts and I researched but until you were old enough I didn’t do anything. I started hunting when you were 12 and you began training then. But we never fought like that Sammy. I always knew you’d go to college someday, something your mom and I both wanted for you. When you came to Stanford, I just picked up and moved. Wasn’t like I had anything permanent anyway. Then you met Jess and … Sammy.” He looked scared but resolved. “I love you Sammy. I’d never tell you not to come back, no matter what.”
He reached a hand out to Sam’s shoulder and gripped it tight. “We’ll figure this out though Sam. Whatever it is that’s messing with your head, we’ll stop it.”
“You mean you believe me? That this is all … wrong?”
John shook his head. “I didn’t say that I believe that this is wrong Sammy. The thing is, if it isn’t, then someone messed with your head to make you think it is. And if it isn’t …” he sighed. “well … we’ve got to get things straightened out either way.”
Jessica got home while John was still there and the three of them had a pleasant dinner with the baby sitting happily with ‘grandpa’. John kept an eye on him the rest of the day but didn’t say anything more once Jess got home. She was ignorant of the family business and Sam and John worked to keep it that way. When John left, Sam walked him to the car and he promised to look into Sam’s memories and called Bobby to see if he knew anyone else in the area that could take care of the poltergeist he had been planning to see. Bobby decided to take it on himself and John was free to devote himself to Sam and this new thing.
Jessica went to bed early, tired out from her excursion and Sam was left with the baby. He’d managed to figure the basics out and now he sat on the couch watching a movie with the baby on his lap. A horror movie was on, one of Dean’s favorites and he laughed lightly as the baby began clapping at the show as if it was his favorite too. Sam took a deep breath and cuddled him a little closer, kissing his chubby cheek for the first time. “Alright Dean, you can watch it. But if you get nightmares and Jess kicks my ass for letting you watch it no more horror movies for you.”
Dean giggled and pulled his nose in response.
Sam laughed and sighed happily. “Besides, none of this is real. You know, before this whole memory swap thing happened, you and I used to hunt monsters and they are nothing like this. Just ask Dad. Hollywood has got them all wrong big brother…”
On To Part Five: The One Thing
Series: My Brother’s Keeper
Author: Hunters_Retreat
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Summary: Sammy wakes up with a terrible headache, and a bit of trouble with his memory.
Not Dean
Chapter Four of My Brother's Keeper
He woke with a headache and swore lightly as he sat up, rubbing his forehead. He’d slept in, but it was the weekend and he didn’t have anyplace to be today so that wasn’t a problem. He doubted Dean would be up just yet either. A smile crossed his face at the thought of Dean in the next room. Of course, Jess was up so she might have made it her mission to wake him up as well. Dean was too polite to give her hell about waking him up to help with things like breakfast but it was really only a matter of time. He thought there was probably something wrong with him that he was looking forward to that moment.
Jessica came into the bedroom, still in pajamas but looking like she’d already had a shower and was ready to face the world. It didn’t really matter. Even rumpled and disheveled she was beautiful. She took one look at his face and shook her head. “Another headache?” She asked. He didn’t have time to answer before she was blowing past him and to the bathroom to bring him some pain relievers and a glass of water. “There. Because there is no way I’m staying home because you have a headache.” He looked up in confusion and she sighed. “Girl’s day out remember?” When he still looked confused she sat beside him. “Come on Sam, remember? You promised to take care of Dean today so I could get out of the house for a while.”
“Ya, sure Jess.” He didn’t remember anything of the sort, but when did she try to stick around just because Dean was there? Most of the time she gave them their space.
She flashed him a brilliant smile and kissed him lightly. “Speaking of which, I think I hear him. Be right back.”
Sam took a deep breath, then popped the pills and downed the water. Getting out of bed completely, he took a quick shower and got dressed, pulling on his favorite worn jeans and tee shirt. He pulled on a short sleeve button up but left it unbuttoned, and then threw a pair of socks on just as Jessica peeked her head in. “Alright. He’s awake. Mind keeping an eye on him while I finish getting ready?”
“He’s not going to eat the furniture Jess.” He said with a half smile.
“Says you.” She gave him a quick kiss and then pushed him out the bedroom door.
Sam laughed lightly as he walked into the front room. He stopped as soon as he got there, looking around. The first problem was that there was no Dean on the couch. There was no sign that Dean had ever been on the couch.
He began to notice other things then. The photo of he and Dean had been replaced by one of he and his Dad, a photo he didn’t recognize at all. He must have been about 16 in the picture and he and his Dad were both smiling at the camera, sitting atop the Impala’s hood. He shook his head. At 16 he and his Dad could barely talk for two minutes without getting into a fight. He couldn’t remember ever getting a picture taken with him like that.
All of Jess’s candles on the tables were gone, as well as the little trinkets she kept. The bare floor was covered in a soft rug and stack of newspapers and old magazines was replaced by a wicker basket.
And in the corner, where there had been a desk to study on, there was …
He took a step back at the same time the noise began. He covered his ears, not at all understanding what it was that was making it. Damn it! Where was Dean and what the hell had happened?
Jess came out of the bedroom, make up complete but still in her pajamas. “What did you do Samuel?” She asked, walking to the corner.
In place of the desk was a bassinette. Jessica reached inside and pulled out it’s screaming occupant. “It’s OK Dean, Mommy’s got you.” She held him tight, one finger reaching in to touch his cheek lightly. “I know, I know, Daddy’s kind of scary sometimes isn’t he? It’s alright. He’s still learning. Don’t you worry Dean-o, he’d gonna turn out just fine.”
She looked up at Sam and frowned at his pale face and expression. “Sam? What’s wrong?”
“Dean?”
“He’s fine Sam. Look, I know you’ve been afraid to handle him too much, but you need to get used to it. He’s your son and he’s not going away.” She walked over and handed the baby to Sam, refusing to let him back away. “He’s not going to break Sam, you have to trust yourself with him. Really. You do fine once you stop worrying about it.”
There was a car horn and Jess cursed before running out the room. She was rushing past a few minutes later, kissing him on the cheek. “I have my phone if you need to call me, but you’ll be fine Sam. And thank you for letting me out today. I know you’re still afraid to be along with him, but this means a lot. 3 months being cooped up is too much for me.” She kissed the baby and then Sam, but stopped as she reached the door. She looked back at Sam, looking dumbfounded at the bundle in his arms, then took a deep breath, steeled her reserve, and walked out to the car where her friends were waiting to take her for some well deserved pampering.
Sam stared at the bundle in his arms who stared right back at him. The baby squirmed and Sam nearly dropped him at the unexpected movement. What the hell was happening? This couldn’t be Dean. This burbling, giggling thing couldn’t be his brother. But he had the same green eyes and when Sam touched his forehead with his finger there was a flash of recognition that he couldn’t suppress.
He sat the baby on the padded rug and looked in the wicker basket and found exactly what he’d thought it would hold. Toys. He pulled some out and made sure the baby was happy there, then began looking through the house to see what else had changed.
Two hours later Sam was exhausted. A diaper change had ended in both of them having to change clothes, a feeding that had nearly caused another one except that Sam saw the rags on the couch arm and remembered to put one over this shoulder as he burped the baby. The baby. Never Dean. The baby. Never his son or Jessica’s son. Only the baby. Because Dean was his older brother, his lover, and this was not his Dean.
Only there was no trace of Dean in the house. When he went online there was no trace of a Dean Winchester, other than the one that had been born on January 24, 2006. There was still the mention of his mother’s death when he was 6 months old and he found the remnants of his former life, the fake id’s and hidden weapons tucked away where he was sure Jess would never find them.
He took a deep breath as he pulled out his phone and scrolled through the numbers, not finding Dean listed there either. He hadn’t expected him to be on there at that point, but he was looking for someone else. Finding it and hitting the dial button, he waited as it rang.
“Hello?”
“Dad?”
“Sammy?” He wasn’t sure what to say but John continued when he hesitated. “Sammy, what’s wrong? Is something wrong with Jess? Or Dean?”
He closed his eyes, trying to figure out what to do. “Dad, I think something’s wrong. I … I think …”
“Sammy?”
“Yeah Dad?”
“I’m on my way.”
The connection died then and Sam stared at the phone. He was on his way? He had no idea what to make of that. Since when did his Dad stop what he was doing to check on Sam? And how did he know about Jess and … the baby?
He was going to have a breakdown, wanted to run through the house screaming and break apart every little thing he saw different, from the bottles stacked nicely in the cabinets, to the diapers under the bathroom sink, to the pictures he didn’t remember posing for, when the baby looked up at him and giggled again.
“You don’t know what’s going on do you?” He asked as he got off the couch and lay on his stomach in front of him.
The baby regarded him for a minute with serious green eyes and cocked his head to one side. Sam laughed and that seemed to make the baby happy because then he was gurgling again and pulling at Sam’s nose.
A half hour later, the baby was sleeping in the bassinet and Sam was laying on the couch, thinking about nap time himself when there was a sharp knock on the door. He took a deep breath and answered it, surprise coloring his face as he opened the door.
“Dad?”
“Sammy?” He gave Sam a quick hug then walked into the apartment. “Dean OK?”
Sam nodded. “The baby’s fine. Asleep actually.”
His Dad gave him a quick one over before stepping into the front room and taking a look at the sleeping figure there. The smile that crept over his face was soft and warm, one that Sam wished he had seen more of in his own past.
When John made sure the baby was OK, the stepped out of the room and into the kitchen where Sam made coffee to keep his nerves from getting to him.
“Sammy, what’s going on? Jess warned me she was going out today, but I don’t think that’s what this is all about.”
Sam shook his head as he took a seat across from his father at the kitchen table. “This might sound a little crazy, but I need you to work with me on this, alright?”
“Sure Sammy.”
The look his father gave him was so concerned that it made him ache inside. How many times had he just wanted to know that his father cared more about him than the damn hunt?
He shook his head. “Alright. I need to know some things, and they’re probably basic things that you think I should already know, but here goes. First, why are you so close to Stanford today?”
“Today?” His dad gave him an odd smile. “I live in Atherton Sammy. I moved there when you came to school. You’re just lucky you called me today because I’m leaving on a hunt tomorrow.”
He closed his eyes and tried to process that. “Alright. So you’re still hunting. We hunted, while I was growing up. What about my brother?”
John’s concerned look turned alarmed. “You don’t have a brother Sam.”
“I never had an older brother named Dean?”
“No. Sam, what’s going on here?”
He felt sick. He stood up, pacing through the room. “I went to sleep last night and I had an older brother named Dean. He was 4 years older than me. He carried me out of the house the night Mom died. We hunted, and he always looked after me, took care of me. When I left for college, you told me not to come back and I didn’t, but then you went missing and Dean came for me and we started looking for you and hunting around school. But when I woke up this morning, Jess has a baby named Dean and … you live here? Dad, you and I couldn’t stand to be in the same room since I was 15. There’s no way you’d set up a home base, let alone one close to me.”
John stood and watched Sam. “Sammy, it was just you and me in that fire. I … I wanted to hunt the thing that did it, but I had to wait until you were old enough. I made contacts and I researched but until you were old enough I didn’t do anything. I started hunting when you were 12 and you began training then. But we never fought like that Sammy. I always knew you’d go to college someday, something your mom and I both wanted for you. When you came to Stanford, I just picked up and moved. Wasn’t like I had anything permanent anyway. Then you met Jess and … Sammy.” He looked scared but resolved. “I love you Sammy. I’d never tell you not to come back, no matter what.”
He reached a hand out to Sam’s shoulder and gripped it tight. “We’ll figure this out though Sam. Whatever it is that’s messing with your head, we’ll stop it.”
“You mean you believe me? That this is all … wrong?”
John shook his head. “I didn’t say that I believe that this is wrong Sammy. The thing is, if it isn’t, then someone messed with your head to make you think it is. And if it isn’t …” he sighed. “well … we’ve got to get things straightened out either way.”
Jessica got home while John was still there and the three of them had a pleasant dinner with the baby sitting happily with ‘grandpa’. John kept an eye on him the rest of the day but didn’t say anything more once Jess got home. She was ignorant of the family business and Sam and John worked to keep it that way. When John left, Sam walked him to the car and he promised to look into Sam’s memories and called Bobby to see if he knew anyone else in the area that could take care of the poltergeist he had been planning to see. Bobby decided to take it on himself and John was free to devote himself to Sam and this new thing.
Jessica went to bed early, tired out from her excursion and Sam was left with the baby. He’d managed to figure the basics out and now he sat on the couch watching a movie with the baby on his lap. A horror movie was on, one of Dean’s favorites and he laughed lightly as the baby began clapping at the show as if it was his favorite too. Sam took a deep breath and cuddled him a little closer, kissing his chubby cheek for the first time. “Alright Dean, you can watch it. But if you get nightmares and Jess kicks my ass for letting you watch it no more horror movies for you.”
Dean giggled and pulled his nose in response.
Sam laughed and sighed happily. “Besides, none of this is real. You know, before this whole memory swap thing happened, you and I used to hunt monsters and they are nothing like this. Just ask Dad. Hollywood has got them all wrong big brother…”
On To Part Five: The One Thing