Stay
Alec hated all of this. He’d never really cared one way or other about how the world crumbled before, but back then he’d been in Manticore. The world could crumble all it wanted. Manticore was still strong. It wasn’t true anymore though and the reason for it could all be laid, completely on the head of one woman.
So the world crumbled and Alec was forced to care, just as he was forced from the life he’d lived before without his permission, because there was no where else he could turn now. He could run, could leave Terminal City and all of it behind. He knew how to hide the barcode well enough to get by without anyone else, only he was among his own kind here and he didn’t want to keep hiding. Among the others, among Max and her make shift family he had a bit of a home. He had people he could call friends.
He hated every bit of it as much as he loved it now. He hated that weakness in him almost as much as he hated her for what she did to him. Without ever realizing it, without bothering to look his way with more than careful disdain, she’d shattered his world, and when he’d shown up, trying to learn how she managed to live life among the normals she’d put him down at every chance.
It wasn’t that she was being cruel and he knew it. She just didn’t understand and Alec wasn’t the type to make an issue of it. He wasn’t strong enough to lay himself out like that in case she decided to filet his soul like she had his life.
Logan was fighting about intel and needing some help and Max was saying they needed to keep going, to keep their momentum. Alec signed. Logan was right about this. Max might be a damn good leader but she hadn’t had the complete training that he had. He didn’t want to step into this either, but he thought about Mole and Joshua and knew that they were the ones that would lose out worst in all this.
“Max.” He said, getting both their attention. “Everyone’s tired. We need to settle down before you plan the next counter-attack.”
“No, we can’t stop. This is coming to a head Alec and we have to be ready.”
“We’re already ready for this fight Max, but we can’t force it right now. We need to be able to rest before it hits.”
“No-”
“Damn it Max, yes!” He yelled. She looked at him with wide eyes. Alec never lost his temper like that and he could see it in Logan’s eyes as well. Great. At least with Logan he felt he’d gained a little personal respect. That was likely out the door now.
He didn’t bother listening to whatever Max had to say next because he knew he needed to calm down before he lost it again. He walked out of the building and without thought began scaling the fire escapes to get to the roof. There were spots that were broken or too rusted out to climb up, but it wasn’t a problem for him to jump to the next rung and pull himself up without them. It was probably better really, because it let him work more of it out of his system.
He found himself staring out at Terminal City, the view not as good as Max’s needle but still a pretty decent sight. The thing was, he really wanted things to settle here. He had a home, friends, and a job that he… well… he didn’t like working as a messenger but he didn’t hate it either which he hadn’t been able to say about Manticore since he’d started going on active missions. Terminal City was as good a place to be as any other. And Max was here. Max, who he’d grudgingly begun to respect, who he’d eventually admired. Who he’d come to care for. Now that she and Logan had called it all off, had decided they couldn’t continue to cling to that hope, he’d sort of thought he might stand a chance with her, but not if they couldn’t get past the Manticore vs. escapee thing. And it almost always came back to that when he and Max were talking.
His solitude didn’t last long. He heard the sound of her moving up the escapes, even though he could tell she was trying to be silent. She was good, but try as she might, she hadn’t had the full benefit of Manticore’s training.
“What was that about?” She asked as she came up behind him.
He didn’t turn, just balled his fists to keep from doing anything stupid. “You have no idea what they’re going through.”
“I’m here Alec, I know exactly what they’re going through.”
“Do you?” He asked.
“Yeah I do.” She said, her head moving slightly with attitude that always seemed to be directed at him. “And if you weren’t so busy trying to look out for number one you would too.”
He had her pushed against the wall of the stairwell before she knew what he was doing. The door creaked in protest as she landed and he hoped it held; they’d closed the stairwell because they were afraid it would collapse. “Don’t tell me what you know Max! You aren’t one of us!” He yelled.
She stared at him, eyes wide and mouth open.
“You weren’t there when they doubled the brainwashing Max. They did it because of you. You weren’t there when they put us through psy-ops because one of our dups escaped. You have no idea what they’re going through because you’ve been on the outside for most of your life. Do you have any idea how hard it is to get up every morning and find something to do? Do you even remember what it was like to struggle because you don’t have orders anymore? You took their world from them, you destroyed Manticore without a thought about what the rest of their lives would be like and now you push and push and push them into something else! They’ll follow you Max. They’ll follow you to their death because they don’t know what else to do, but you keep this up and they’ll hate you for it.”
“And you?”
He took a deep breath as he let her go. “I already do.”
She reeled back like he’d slapped her. “Alec… we have to fight.”
He nodded. “Yeah, we do have to fight Max, but you need to give them something else to live for besides the fight. There are children down there, highly trained, but still children. Yes, we can prepare for the battle, but you can’t keep pushing for it.”
“Alec, I… I never thought about…”
“No you didn’t. You just pushed and thought everyone else would follow along.” He turned around, ready to run, or just to scream but her hand was on his arm.
“Alec. I don’t want you to hate me.” She said, her voice sounding smaller than he thought possible.
He closed his eyes against it. “Max, just let it go.”
“I can’t. Alec, I… you’re the only one I can trust anymore. The only one that understands. I need you here.”
“You have Logan and Joshua.”
She pulled at his arm, dragging him back around. “No, I had Logan. He might be a good friend and ally, but he’s not like us. He can’t understand the mentality at all. Joshua is trying but it’s not the same. I need you with me Alec.”
He looked at her then, meeting her eyes. “Maybe I don’t want to be needed Max.”
She took a step closer, “Then how about the truth.” She said, leaning up and letting her lips brush against his. “I want you with me.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
He took a deep breath and tried to ignore the way it felt, tried to deny that he’d been waiting for this for months now. He pulled her close then, licking his way into her mouth. When she opened underneath him he moaned. She wrapped her hands in his shirt and tried to climb into his skin and he was more than okay with that.
When he pulled away, it was only to catch his breath. “Alec, please, stay with me?”
He took a deep breath and nodded. “Yeah Max. If you really want me I’ll stay.”