On Darkling Wings - V
Title: On Darkling Wings
Fandom: Voltron: Legendary Defenders
Pairing: Keith/Shiro, Shiro/OMC
Warnings: This is a reincarnation AU. They don't stay dead permanently, but they ARE reincarnated, therefore, must die. A lot. To get reincarnated a lot. Also mentions of non-con (not Shiro/Keith).
Summary: Eons ago, a legend was born about the Darkling; a Demi-God who stole the God Caltek's most prized possession. The reality was far more tragic, for eons ago, the Gods created a perfect creature. Shiro was beautiful and they fought amongst themselves to keep him. Caltek, God of War, won the right and he pampered and cared for this perfect being. His creature was human though, and humans, no matter how perfectly they had been formed, were fiercely independent. When the Darkling fell to Shiro's world, he taught Shiro the nature of love, and of the prison his life was.
Caught in a tryst and on the eve of their escape, the God Caltek cursed the two lovers. Their souls would be forever bound, life after life, death after death, but only one would remember.
Keith would have skipped school if he'd known he'd be there. He was only twelve but he was already done with this life. He remembered so many others and he was too tired to do it this time. So unlike every other life, when the man he loved beyond death and reason walked into the room, Keith stared away, out into the galaxy and wondered how many more times he'd have to live this moment. How many more times would Keith have to meet Shiro, and remember how much they had loved one another, and lose him all over again?
At least when he'd had the plague they had met and died within the same day together. He looked out across the blue sky but it gave no reprieve. He remembered the skies above a temple as clearly as the wide open range beyond a farmhouse. He remembered wild card rides and nights under the stars running booze from state to state, the open seas, and the false hope of a future under the same sky from an internment camp. Blue skies meant nothing. Keith closed his eyes and let out a deep breath to pull himself together.
Blue skies had meant everything.
Keith's thoughts were pulled away from his contemplation as the class shuffled out of the room. He followed though he hadn't paid enough attention to know why they were leaving or where they were going. When they arrived outside he saw the simulator the Garrison had sent and while that usually would have piqued his attention, today it was just another lie, wasn't it? A promise of more skies that would fall from under him.
He didn't plan to try the simulator himself. He wasn't Garrison material and they all knew it. When Shiro called to him though, Keith felt the pull of him too strongly to leave it be. He'd just play for a moment, crash like the others, and Shiro would walk out of his life. Keith would ache - God would he ache for the man he loved far more than his 12-year-old self should understand - but when his death came, he would have no idea of Shiro's fate. Considering the beginning of Keith's life in this century, there was nothing good to come of keeping Shiro in this lifetime.
He sat at the simulator then and as he began to fly, it reminded him of other things he had long forgotten. Every life had been tied to Shiro, but once, Keith had been a Demi-God. He had wings and he had flown over sea and land, through sky and space. He had swum among the stars and danced with comets. He found a joy in the simulator he had forgotten, except maybe to some extent in his short life as a pirate on the open seas.
Freedom was wings to fly but without that, he could still have the open skies. He couldn't love Shiro in this life, refused to try to get closer to him, but becoming a pilot might just make this life worth experiencing. At least he could give his next life this memory to keep.
He heard them talking about him though, heard Shiro take a personal interest in him and Keith knew he couldn't do it. He couldn't disconnect from Shiro. Their souls had been twined together by a cruel God, lifetimes ago.
So before Shiro could get it in his head that Keith could be a cadet, he stole his car and took off; no looking back and no regrets. Shiro would see quick enough that while Keith might show some potential as a pilot, he was far too much trouble to be Garrison material.
He'd forgotten about Shiro's indomitable patience and his desire to help others though. Always, Shiro gave more of himself than he got in return and it was one of the things that Keith loved most about him. It was one of the things that made Keith fall into line with Shiro's plans again. So instead of keeping his distance, Keith ended up at the Garrison. He didn't pester Shiro though or try to get closer. He just ... was there. Always on the outside of everything. The pilot training had reminded him of how much he loved to fly and he began to wake from dreams of lost wings as well as lost love. He excelled as a pilot so the Garrison ignored his less than admirable traits, like his anti-social behaviors and his dislike of authority. It was hard to fear any of them as an authority figure when he had already taken on two Gods and lost. There was no consequence greater than the one he lived now.
He was fine like that, keeping everyone at bay and leaving Shiro out of his existence entirely, but then Adam happened. Not that Keith blamed Shiro, who didn't remember him, or Adam, for loving a man Keith knew was more worthy of love than any other. Not that Keith could do anything about it either; he was just a troublesome cadet far too young and inexperienced to catch Shiro's eye in that way. Keith was happy for Shiro.
It didn't mean seeing Shiro happy with someone else didn't affect him though. He started to act out, to lose his focus. They tried to remind Keith of his potential and of the great things he could do, but none of it meant anything. Finally, they called on Shiro to mentor his young find through his troubles. While it was probably the best choice they could make, Keith would never quite forgive them for it.
Because he couldn't get around Shiro now. There was no waving across a crowded room if Shiro happened to see him. Now, Shiro looked for him. Shiro sat with him. Shiro came to take him on weekend riding trips and spent extra time in the simulator with just the two of them. He treated Keith like an equal, even though he was younger, and he always listened to Keith when he talked about his trouble with the other cadets.
People whispered behind Keith's back about his past and how he was abandoned, how he'd seen too much. They didn't know the half of it and as he began to train his body for fighting, as well as for piloting, nightmares took their toll on him from that too. Not just the death of Shiro, but the battles he'd fought over the years. The gladiator arenas, the pagans, clans, and tribes. He'd fought sea battles and air battles; fought with sword and bow and gun and body on the land. Blood had filled his soul until his entire existence was drenched in it.
Keith endured though because even if it wasn't with him, Shiro was happy here. He had the love of a good man and a passion for adventure. When he was selected as the pilot for a mission that would take him farther in space than any other human had been, Keith was thrilled for him, even if he learned almost as soon, that Shiro had a disease that would take away his adventures.
He had this now though, and Keith could see Shiro of the future as a teacher to the young, a man who excelled at inspiring others to greatness, as he had with Keith. Keith would be there for him, support him, be the friend he'd never had the chance to be in all his other lives.
If that was all he could have in this life, he thought it would still be worth living. Only one other life had given him more of Shiro than this life had, and it had been short-lived. He planned to make the best of it. To be the man Shiro could be proud to know. So when Launch Day came, Keith smiled proudly at Shiro and waved good-bye, his heart breaking a little at their separation, but knowing that soon they'd been back together again.
***
Keith never believed the reports the Garrison put out. He never once believed that Shiro was dead. Perhaps if he was younger he would have believed the lies. Perhaps if he had experienced his death less often, he wouldn't have to know the pull of his soul as Shiro fled the mortal world again. In this life, with these memories, Keith knew though.
There were other hints as well. Never in all their lives had Hunk, Pidge, and Lance showed up after Shiro's death. Keith never lived long after Shiro - too upset about each death to outlive him to long-life - but if they arrived in Keith's life it was always before. They had been caught in Shiro's curse after all; there was no point to their lives if they showed up after his death.
And there was the never-ending need to look, the need to search for something more tangible than pilot error and Garrison rules. Keith found it in the desert. The old shack he'd lived in with his father became his refuge and the knowledge that something was calling to him pulled him further and further into the desert. His dreams took wing, once again, and as he slept he soared over mountains and unfamiliar terrain, worlds that he had never known. He felt the call of it though, the call of the others. He might be human in this life, but he had been a Demi-God and other creatures, older and wiser than him in the universe, felt it in him as well.
It led him to the desert when the ship exploded into the sky and crash-landed on the Earth. It led him, when he helped Shiro escape and when he allowed the others to climb aboard the speeder and race them away from their pursuers. It led him into space, to a castle and guardianship of a universe that had never been kind to him.
He had Shiro again though and that was all that mattered. They grew. They learned. Keith dropped his guard around the young servants that had once been slaves, who had come time and time again to call Keith or Shiro friend. Family. Who now called themselves Paladins of Voltron and defended those that could not defend themselves.
It was almost laughable, at times, to remember the meek creatures he had first met, fearful of Caltek but so enamored of their Lord that they defied the God anyway. They held him together when Shiro disappeared in the Black Lion, when the link between them became so weak and transient that he almost thought he had lost Shiro for good.
Shiro returned twice more to him in this life and Keith was nearly deadened by the pain of it all. He isolated himself with the Blade of Marmora, tried to learn about his Galra heritage, only to be faced with the most laughable and ironic twists in his lost, sorted history of lives.
The Galra Gods, the ones his mother believed in and who the Emperors tried to emulate, were none other than the Gods that had created Shiro. The Blademaster, the God that the Galra prayed to in their moment of need, was none other than Caltek. The Blade of Marmora did not pray to the beast Caltek, but Keith found another treasure of amusement to know that his mother, the woman who had borne him into this life, prayed to his eternal mother, the Goddess of the Hunt, Krotivania.
He refused to pray to either and pretended not to notice the similarities in the legends of the Darkling God who stole Caltek's most precious possession or the stories of the mother's precious Darkling God who ran with mischief in his wake and was a God of thieves, forbidden trysts, and the downtrodden.
The Shiro that had been returned to them turned out to be nothing more than a clone, though even as he fought against him, Keith struggled because he knew there was still a connection, somewhere. As tenuous as it was, Keith could still feel Shiro in this world. As the stage of their fight fell around them, Keith held on to Shiro. There was nothing he could do, nothing he could ever do but die with Shiro in the end.
But this life had greater twists than the others and they were once against saved by the Black Lion. Keith held his breath and stamped on his own heart repeatedly for the hope it tried to spew as they raced to get back to Allura and find a way to bring Shiro back to consciousness.
***
When Shiro woke, Keith pulled him into his arms and he wasn't sure he'd ever be able to let him go. They'd had too little time in this lifetime. And even though Keith had confessed his love to Shiro in their fight, it hadn't been what he'd really wanted to admit. What he'd really needed to say.
There was still a war going on though and there was still a universe to save, even if Keith would have let it all burn, now that he had Shiro safe again. Which wasn't great for their current relationship and mission.
"We can't just sit around and wait for something to happen!" Lance said as they sat around the table and discussed their next move. Shiro had barely been awake a day before he'd demanded to be updated on everything. His memory was splotchy from two different sets of memories and Keith would have laughed at the idea of it, if Shiro weren't so obviously distressed over it.
"No one is suggesting that we do nothing." Shiro tried to stop the fight before it began, but Keith was suggesting exactly that, actually. As much as he wanted to go to Earth and help the people there, it wasn't worth risking Shiro again.
"Really? Because maybe Keith doesn't care that there are people on Earth that might suffer for what we've done, but I do. I have family there still!"
"Most of us do," Shiro reminded Lance. Shiro wasn't one of those, but no one ever mentioned it. "What Keith wants is for us to get more information so we don't walk in blind."
"No," Lance countered. "What Keith wants is to do nothing, he's just dressing it up as intel gathering so he can talk you out of this fight."
"That's not," Shiro hesitated and Keith knew the other man was remembering Keith's confession. "Keith's not..."
"Yes, I am."
"What?" Shiro's eyes were comically big as he looked at Keith, trying to comprehend what he'd just heard.
"Lance is right." He hadn't meant to say it, but it came out anyway, a betrayal from his heart to his lips but he couldn't take it back. "I can't ... I can't watch you die again," Keith said softly. "I can barely handle this life as it is. I can't live it without you." He saw the way the others gaped but he ignored them all as he walked out. He needed to breathe, needed the space that the castle didn't seem to give him.
Instead of the training rooms or his quarters, or even the Black Lion, he went to the observatory. The view of the stars around them gave him a moment's peace and when he pressed his face against the clear wall, he could feel the cool of it against his skin. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He didn't do it often, not on purpose, but he did now.
He remembered the first time he saw Shiro, waking from his treacherous fall onto the strange planet and finding kindness where he'd expected death. Finding beauty where he'd expected pain. Finding the one thing in the entire universe that could possibly be worth all the suffering he'd endured.
"Keith?" His name was softly spoken and he refused to look back at Shiro. He felt Shiro come to stand behind him though, his body warm against his back where the wall was cool against his face. "Keith, please talk to me?"
He let out a deep breath. "What is there to say, Shiro?"
"Tell me what this is all about?"
"How many times have I had to lose you in this life, alone?" Keith asked. "How am I supposed to survive this? I ... I'm not that man. I can't pretend that losing you won't destroy me this time." He turned to look up at Shiro, close enough that he could reach out and touch if he wanted. "I have loved you, Shiro, for ages. Ages. I can't watch you die again."
"I'm right here," Shiro said. He leaned closer until his forehead rested against Keith's. Keith stayed like that for a moment, breathing in Shiro's breath, feeling centered around this man once again. When Shiro pulled back slightly, it was to bring his hand up and tip Keith's chin. When Keith looked up, Shiro pressed their lips together.
Keith jerked back with a sob. "Don't."
"Keith?"
"I can't." There were tears in his eyes and in his throat but he didn't give a damn. "I can't because you'll die and I'll die and ... how many times can I lose you?"
"Keith, you won't lose me. I wanted to tell you. I came to tell you," he said as he pulled Keith back into his arms. "I love you, Keith. All that time in that place, I thought about you constantly. About what you mean to me. I love you. You won't ever lose me again."
"Yes. He will."
The world seemed to spasm around them and reality with it. One moment they were on the Castle of Lions and the next they were on an ancient precipice, faced with the nine Gods of Galra. Allura was with them as well, but none of the others. Keith felt some relief that they hadn't been dragged into this, but he had no idea why Allura was here.
"You play with things that are not your own, Altean."
Shiro shifted to stand beside Allura while Katspal, God of Chaos spoke. He was also known as the god of magic and mirrors, or transitions and transience.
And alchemy.
"Who are you and what do you want of us?" Allura asked. Allura watched them all, but Keith put his back to Shiro's, between the man he loved and the God that had once lost and coveted him.
"Did you think you could wretch him back from a spiritual realm like that and place him into a body not his own, and there would be no consequence? No price for passage? No reprimand for stealing the power that is rightfully the gods?"
"I have stolen nothing. Altean alchemy is my birthright."
"Everything about your culture was stolen from us, child," Krotivania said softly. "The Alteans and the Galra were once a single people. You grew apart and while the Galra continued to celebrate us, you made gods of science and technology and left behind the old Gods, except for the alchemy you stole from us. The same alchemy we used to forge the creation we made, so long ago."
"What did you make?" Allura asked.
The world suddenly shook with vibration and the roar of lions made them cover their ears. All five lions flew down to the precipice and Keith barely had time to register the lions before the Paladins were whisked from their lions and stood beside Keith.
Caltek let out a snort of amusement but none of the other Gods answered the interruption.
"We made a perfect being," Krotivania said softly. "And Caltek took him, as was his right by trial in arms. How could I know that my blood would turn aside from his own kind and steal Caltek's prize from him?"
"What exactly is going on here?" Hunk asked.
"I'm still trying to figure that out," Shiro answered honestly.
"Would you explain, or should I, Darkling?" Caltek broke his silence.
Keith glared at Caltek but the hate that had been there in their previous life seemed to have disappeared from the God. Keith didn't trust it, but the others had no idea what they were up against.
"The Galran Gods created a perfect being, but Caltek couldn't keep him. He fell in love with a half-bred Demi-God, who loved him so much he defied the Gods and tried to steal him away. Caltek caught them and cursed them to live forever, reincarnated, but never to live life together for long. When you used Altean Alchemy to restore Shiro's soul, it must have allowed them to find him again."
"Find who?" Lance asked.
"Shiro. Their perfect creation."
"What? Keith, that's crazy. I'm not perfect."
Krotivania laughed as she raised a hand. "Then I suppose he is not my Darkling son." Dark beams of light left her hand and as it struck Keith, he felt the change happen. His nails grew and his fangs dropped. His skin turned purple and his eyes took on the yellow of his eternal mother's. Pain ripped through his shoulders and his wings returned to him. He dropped on one knee in pain, but he held his knife before him and stared at the Gods around them.
"Um, guys, did Keith just sprout black wings?" Hunk asked.
"What the hell, Keith?" Lance demanded.
"Keith?" Shiro's voice was shaken but Keith didn't have the time to reassure him. As much as Caltek was the enemy Keith had always feared, it was his own eternal mother that seemed the most likely to attack here. The other Gods seemed happy to watch the drama as it unfolded; a truth Keith had always exploited in his first life.
"He has no right to this life," the Goddess said softly. "How many times has he died? How many times should one creation get to experience rebirth again? How many times should you, Darkling child of mine? I think you have reached the end of your story."
"Enough!"
The air around them shivered and they covered their hands against the voice of Caltek. He was a warrior, a true God of Retribution and he had never bent knee or cowered to another. The silence of the other eight Gods showed his power and his true position among them.
"There is only one among us who has the right to judge them. I care not for the Altean alchemist. Her little magics are nothing compared to the glory of Katspal and there is no need to defend his honor for such offenses. The Darkling and his lover have always been mine though."
"He was never yours," Keith reminded Caltek.
Caltek watched him for a moment before he looked at Shiro. "You still bear the scar he gave me," Caltek said softly, "and my metal arm. Even marked like this, you are still beautiful, Shiro."
Shiro's fist clenched and Keith watched as it flared purple. Shiro didn't move though, simply glared at Caltek as if he could remember why he was so feared and hated.
Caltek looked back to Keith then. "Does it bother you, to see my emblem upon him? To see the scar you left us, upon his face? How many lives has he wore one of them or both?"
"All I ever cared about was keeping him safe. That arm, the Galra arm he wears, in this life it was a weapon to keep him alive in the arena and it has seen him through battle after battle. Even if you had made the arm, I would thank you for it, because it saved him. It brought him back to me."
Caltek looked at Shiro, then at the others beside him. "I had not intended to send the slaves with him, but their love of him bound them to him as well. Have they ever remembered?" Keith shook his head and Caltek nodded in understanding. "Only you have remembered, and I understand now what you said back then. The cruelty of loving what you can never have, of knowing love and losing it over and over again. I have watched you often, and from afar, but never without waiting for you to break. This life, it has done the most to damage the Darkling spirit inside you, that part of you that allowed you to be revived over and over again. But still, you persisted. Why?"
Keith had never been so angry in his life... in any of his lives. "Don't you get it?" he demanded. "I love him. I have and always will love him. It has ripped me to shreds, it has given me moments of incredible lows and the highest of highs, but even when I denied myself the attempt, I could never deny him. I could never leave him and let him die alone. I would rather suffer a thousand more deaths with him than let him live one life where he died alone. If you knew love, if you were capable of it, you would understand."
He expected an angry reply or an act of violence. He was stunned, once again, by Caltek's carefully considered look. "You have not lied, Darkling. You have shown more devotion to Shiro than I ever could have. This ... love ... you have is not something we are capable of, not the way mortals are. The two of you were destined to be happy in this life. I did not think it possible but the curse I laid upon you was undone when he returned home with you, to the caverns of the beast he once called home. I will not let them interfere with that. What happens to your life now is your own. How you live, and how you die, are no longer my doing."
Keith didn't trust the God, had never trusted them, but he believed in the sincerity of his voice. Caltek was a God of War, but he was no liar. "Thank you."
"Shiro, step forward."
Shiro seemed to move without thought and Keith jumped to stop him but it was too late. Caltek pressed a kiss to his forehead and Shiro's body immediately began to spasm. Seizures took his body and he fell to the ground even as the others tried to stop his fall. The lions roared around them and Keith pulled his blade to the ready but Caltek smiled.
"You have waited eons for him to know you. You have suffered for him. He has a right to know the truth."
"No! What did you do?"
The world spasmed around them for the second time and when Keith opened his eyes he was back in the observatory in the Castle of Lions. Shiro's seizure had passed but he wasn't conscious. Keith pulled him into his arms and began to walk out of the observatory but his wings hit the side of the doors and he bit off a curse. It had been so long since he'd had them he almost forgot how to maneuver them. He pulled them tighter to his body and managed the doorway.
"Keith?"
He heard footsteps pounding around him and he knew the team was behind him even if he couldn't turn to look.
"He hasn't regained consciousness. Get one of the beds ready." When he stepped into the medical bay, they had a bed ready but they all stepped back from him in surprise.
Coran was the only one who seemed unfazed by Keith's wings. "Well, I'm sure that's an interesting story," he said as he looked at Keith's wings. He pushed around the others though and open the bed. "Set him here."
Keith let out a deep breath as he set Shiro on the bed. As soon as the monitor began to show that Shiro's life functions were all steady, Keith relaxed a little. Enough to force his skin back to its usual color. His yellow sclera faded back to white and his fangs disappeared. There was nothing to do about the wings though. He had never been able to make them come and go, unlike his Galra heritage.
"Perhaps, while we wait, someone could tell me what happened?" Coran asked Keith.
"I'm sure we could all use a little clarification," Pidge said, but there was a slight smile on her face to take away the sting of her earlier reaction to him. Keith sighed but at least it would help pass some of the time.
***
No one left the room. No one wanted to miss the ending of this story. Coran gave Keith some privacy, but the others waited at Shiro's side to see what would happen when he woke. Hunk left at one point to get food for them all. Lance regaled them with tales of his family and, in a roundabout way, all the happy couples that had managed against the odds. If Keith weren't drowning in his panic, he'd be grateful.
"How many lives do you remember?" Pidge asked when they were all back to their silent vigil. Keith loved them all dearly but silence could only hold so long among them.
"I don't know," he answered honestly. "There were Galran lives. Altean lives. Mer. Olkari. Tashian. Fusian. Human. I don't know if it's because of my human body now, or if it's because they were the most recent, but the human lives are the ones that have the greatest detail for me. I can't even remember how many humans lives we lived."
"Did you know about the curse, every time?" Allura asked.
Keith nodded. "Not the whole time, but I remembered before I died, every time." He looked down at his hands and tried not to think of Shiro, too still on the bed right now. It reminded him of the Holt Manor House. He stood up and began to pace the room.
"Did you ever get to be happy?" Coran asked.
"I don't know. I mean, there were always moments. Even if I didn't know until I died, there were moments where Shiro and I connected. In every life."
"What was your favorite life?" Hunk asked.
Keith huffed at that because he knew Hunk expected some great romance or some epic tale, but sometimes, the smallest things were the best.
"I was five when I met Shiro and I knew everything."
"What happened?" Pidge asked softly.
"He had the plague," Shiro answered. None of them had noticed the medical pod opening or Shiro sitting up but they were all stunned to silence by his words. "I was twelve. My family had already died to the disease and I was wandering the streets, trying to find help. I was lost. Keith found me and took me to his home. He gave me water to drink, bread and apples to eat. He even tried to kiss me better."
Keith smiled. "You said I wasn't allowed to kiss you because you were a boy."
"And we fell asleep," Shiro said. "And we died together."
"That was your happiest life?" Lance sounded gutted.
Keith looked down, but he let out a contented sigh at the memory. "I had a five-year-olds concept of the world. We met and all I knew was I loved him and he was going to stay with me until the end. And he did. We fell asleep together and it was the most content feeling I'd ever had. It still is."
Shiro got up and knelt before Keith. He took his hands in his own and he waited until Keith looked at him.
"I was rather fond of our meeting on the stagecoach."
"You were rather fond of sleeping under the stars, while we were traveling by stagecoach," Keith corrected.
Shiro laughed and Keith let out a shaky breath. "Keith," Shiro said as he cupped Keith's cheek with one hand. "I don't know how you survived it all. I ... it's not all clear yet, but there were so many lives. So many deaths and too little love between."
"Never," Keith refuted. "I always loved you."
"I know," Shiro's voice was shaky as he spoke. "I didn't know at the time though. He didn't let me remember you. I am so sorry, Keith. I promised... I ..."
"Your dying words, in the cave," Keith said softly. "I never doubted them. That gave me strength when I was weak. Even when I doubted my sanity, I never wondered if you could come to love me in any life."
"Even this one?" Shiro asked.
Keith shrugged. "This was harder. I was born knowing. I wasn't always. I was hurt too young, abandoned by my mother and I lost my father and I had memories of loving someone and dying for them too many times. When I met you, I just wanted a life to recover from it all."
"Shiro," Coran interrupted them and Keith suddenly remembered the others were still there. "You should return to your quarters and get some rest. Even if this Caltek simply gave you these memories, your mind will surely need time to process it all. Go get some sleep."
He ushered the others out of the room and Keith stood. He offered Shiro a hand. "Come on. He's right. Let's get you back to your bed."
Shiro didn't fight him on that, so Keith led him back to his quarters, though Shiro hadn't let go of his hand either. When Keith tried to pull his hand free once they were in his room, Shiro refused still.
"I agreed to go back to bed Keith. I never said I would go alone."
"Shiro."
"Lay with me, Keith," Shiro said softly. "I haven't had a truly good night's sleep since the farmhouse."
Keith let out a huff. "That was a horrible mattress."
"Now it was a horrible mattress. Back then, it was the most comfortable bed money could buy."
When Shiro set his hands on Keith's chest and began to strip him of his clothes, he didn't argue. Keith returned the favor until they were both naked and they went to bed, Keith settling with his head on Shiro's chest. He was restless though and Shiro seemed to know it. "What?"
Keith sighed. "It doesn't matter."
"What, Keith?"
"I just ... you know mine. What ... what was your favorite life?"
Shiro let out a deep breath as he pulled Keith closer to him and pressed a kiss to his temple. "Once upon a time, there was a young man who knew nothing of love. He was treasured and cared for, but it was not love, even if he was too young to know that. And then one day, a Darkling fell from the sky and changed everything."
Shiro pulled Keith's chin up and he kissed him softly on the lips. Keith barely moved, almost afraid of getting what he'd wanted for so very long.
"Every life he lived, every death he woke again from, the young man learned what love was. Be it from child or companion, hero or soldier. Every life. Every death. They were part of the same story. So this, this right here is my favorite because it's all the same. We're together, just like we said we would be. Forever. I love you Keith, and there is nothing that will ever take me from you again."
Keith didn't stop him when he started speaking again because as much as he wanted to lose himself in Shiro right now, he needed this confession. He needed Shiro's words of love. After lives of being separated too soon, of not having enough time to love, he needed this.
"My life isn't perfect. The Gods created me to be, but how can they create perfection when they don't understand freedom? That's what you gave me. No slavery. No life as a pampered pet. Just a life of love, over and over, until the end." Shiro looked up and smiled. "Though I have to admit, I never thought to see your wings again. I'm glad you have them back."
"Yeah?"
"They were the first thing I saw of you. I never looked at you once in that life without thinking of them."
"And now?"
"I think the same thing."
"And what's that?" Keith pressed.
"Love," Shiro said against his lips. "Love rises and sets on Darkling wings."
Fandom: Voltron: Legendary Defenders
Pairing: Keith/Shiro, Shiro/OMC
Warnings: This is a reincarnation AU. They don't stay dead permanently, but they ARE reincarnated, therefore, must die. A lot. To get reincarnated a lot. Also mentions of non-con (not Shiro/Keith).
Summary: Eons ago, a legend was born about the Darkling; a Demi-God who stole the God Caltek's most prized possession. The reality was far more tragic, for eons ago, the Gods created a perfect creature. Shiro was beautiful and they fought amongst themselves to keep him. Caltek, God of War, won the right and he pampered and cared for this perfect being. His creature was human though, and humans, no matter how perfectly they had been formed, were fiercely independent. When the Darkling fell to Shiro's world, he taught Shiro the nature of love, and of the prison his life was.
Caught in a tryst and on the eve of their escape, the God Caltek cursed the two lovers. Their souls would be forever bound, life after life, death after death, but only one would remember.
Keith would have skipped school if he'd known he'd be there. He was only twelve but he was already done with this life. He remembered so many others and he was too tired to do it this time. So unlike every other life, when the man he loved beyond death and reason walked into the room, Keith stared away, out into the galaxy and wondered how many more times he'd have to live this moment. How many more times would Keith have to meet Shiro, and remember how much they had loved one another, and lose him all over again?
At least when he'd had the plague they had met and died within the same day together. He looked out across the blue sky but it gave no reprieve. He remembered the skies above a temple as clearly as the wide open range beyond a farmhouse. He remembered wild card rides and nights under the stars running booze from state to state, the open seas, and the false hope of a future under the same sky from an internment camp. Blue skies meant nothing. Keith closed his eyes and let out a deep breath to pull himself together.
Blue skies had meant everything.
Keith's thoughts were pulled away from his contemplation as the class shuffled out of the room. He followed though he hadn't paid enough attention to know why they were leaving or where they were going. When they arrived outside he saw the simulator the Garrison had sent and while that usually would have piqued his attention, today it was just another lie, wasn't it? A promise of more skies that would fall from under him.
He didn't plan to try the simulator himself. He wasn't Garrison material and they all knew it. When Shiro called to him though, Keith felt the pull of him too strongly to leave it be. He'd just play for a moment, crash like the others, and Shiro would walk out of his life. Keith would ache - God would he ache for the man he loved far more than his 12-year-old self should understand - but when his death came, he would have no idea of Shiro's fate. Considering the beginning of Keith's life in this century, there was nothing good to come of keeping Shiro in this lifetime.
He sat at the simulator then and as he began to fly, it reminded him of other things he had long forgotten. Every life had been tied to Shiro, but once, Keith had been a Demi-God. He had wings and he had flown over sea and land, through sky and space. He had swum among the stars and danced with comets. He found a joy in the simulator he had forgotten, except maybe to some extent in his short life as a pirate on the open seas.
Freedom was wings to fly but without that, he could still have the open skies. He couldn't love Shiro in this life, refused to try to get closer to him, but becoming a pilot might just make this life worth experiencing. At least he could give his next life this memory to keep.
He heard them talking about him though, heard Shiro take a personal interest in him and Keith knew he couldn't do it. He couldn't disconnect from Shiro. Their souls had been twined together by a cruel God, lifetimes ago.
So before Shiro could get it in his head that Keith could be a cadet, he stole his car and took off; no looking back and no regrets. Shiro would see quick enough that while Keith might show some potential as a pilot, he was far too much trouble to be Garrison material.
He'd forgotten about Shiro's indomitable patience and his desire to help others though. Always, Shiro gave more of himself than he got in return and it was one of the things that Keith loved most about him. It was one of the things that made Keith fall into line with Shiro's plans again. So instead of keeping his distance, Keith ended up at the Garrison. He didn't pester Shiro though or try to get closer. He just ... was there. Always on the outside of everything. The pilot training had reminded him of how much he loved to fly and he began to wake from dreams of lost wings as well as lost love. He excelled as a pilot so the Garrison ignored his less than admirable traits, like his anti-social behaviors and his dislike of authority. It was hard to fear any of them as an authority figure when he had already taken on two Gods and lost. There was no consequence greater than the one he lived now.
He was fine like that, keeping everyone at bay and leaving Shiro out of his existence entirely, but then Adam happened. Not that Keith blamed Shiro, who didn't remember him, or Adam, for loving a man Keith knew was more worthy of love than any other. Not that Keith could do anything about it either; he was just a troublesome cadet far too young and inexperienced to catch Shiro's eye in that way. Keith was happy for Shiro.
It didn't mean seeing Shiro happy with someone else didn't affect him though. He started to act out, to lose his focus. They tried to remind Keith of his potential and of the great things he could do, but none of it meant anything. Finally, they called on Shiro to mentor his young find through his troubles. While it was probably the best choice they could make, Keith would never quite forgive them for it.
Because he couldn't get around Shiro now. There was no waving across a crowded room if Shiro happened to see him. Now, Shiro looked for him. Shiro sat with him. Shiro came to take him on weekend riding trips and spent extra time in the simulator with just the two of them. He treated Keith like an equal, even though he was younger, and he always listened to Keith when he talked about his trouble with the other cadets.
People whispered behind Keith's back about his past and how he was abandoned, how he'd seen too much. They didn't know the half of it and as he began to train his body for fighting, as well as for piloting, nightmares took their toll on him from that too. Not just the death of Shiro, but the battles he'd fought over the years. The gladiator arenas, the pagans, clans, and tribes. He'd fought sea battles and air battles; fought with sword and bow and gun and body on the land. Blood had filled his soul until his entire existence was drenched in it.
Keith endured though because even if it wasn't with him, Shiro was happy here. He had the love of a good man and a passion for adventure. When he was selected as the pilot for a mission that would take him farther in space than any other human had been, Keith was thrilled for him, even if he learned almost as soon, that Shiro had a disease that would take away his adventures.
He had this now though, and Keith could see Shiro of the future as a teacher to the young, a man who excelled at inspiring others to greatness, as he had with Keith. Keith would be there for him, support him, be the friend he'd never had the chance to be in all his other lives.
If that was all he could have in this life, he thought it would still be worth living. Only one other life had given him more of Shiro than this life had, and it had been short-lived. He planned to make the best of it. To be the man Shiro could be proud to know. So when Launch Day came, Keith smiled proudly at Shiro and waved good-bye, his heart breaking a little at their separation, but knowing that soon they'd been back together again.
***
Keith never believed the reports the Garrison put out. He never once believed that Shiro was dead. Perhaps if he was younger he would have believed the lies. Perhaps if he had experienced his death less often, he wouldn't have to know the pull of his soul as Shiro fled the mortal world again. In this life, with these memories, Keith knew though.
There were other hints as well. Never in all their lives had Hunk, Pidge, and Lance showed up after Shiro's death. Keith never lived long after Shiro - too upset about each death to outlive him to long-life - but if they arrived in Keith's life it was always before. They had been caught in Shiro's curse after all; there was no point to their lives if they showed up after his death.
And there was the never-ending need to look, the need to search for something more tangible than pilot error and Garrison rules. Keith found it in the desert. The old shack he'd lived in with his father became his refuge and the knowledge that something was calling to him pulled him further and further into the desert. His dreams took wing, once again, and as he slept he soared over mountains and unfamiliar terrain, worlds that he had never known. He felt the call of it though, the call of the others. He might be human in this life, but he had been a Demi-God and other creatures, older and wiser than him in the universe, felt it in him as well.
It led him to the desert when the ship exploded into the sky and crash-landed on the Earth. It led him, when he helped Shiro escape and when he allowed the others to climb aboard the speeder and race them away from their pursuers. It led him into space, to a castle and guardianship of a universe that had never been kind to him.
He had Shiro again though and that was all that mattered. They grew. They learned. Keith dropped his guard around the young servants that had once been slaves, who had come time and time again to call Keith or Shiro friend. Family. Who now called themselves Paladins of Voltron and defended those that could not defend themselves.
It was almost laughable, at times, to remember the meek creatures he had first met, fearful of Caltek but so enamored of their Lord that they defied the God anyway. They held him together when Shiro disappeared in the Black Lion, when the link between them became so weak and transient that he almost thought he had lost Shiro for good.
Shiro returned twice more to him in this life and Keith was nearly deadened by the pain of it all. He isolated himself with the Blade of Marmora, tried to learn about his Galra heritage, only to be faced with the most laughable and ironic twists in his lost, sorted history of lives.
The Galra Gods, the ones his mother believed in and who the Emperors tried to emulate, were none other than the Gods that had created Shiro. The Blademaster, the God that the Galra prayed to in their moment of need, was none other than Caltek. The Blade of Marmora did not pray to the beast Caltek, but Keith found another treasure of amusement to know that his mother, the woman who had borne him into this life, prayed to his eternal mother, the Goddess of the Hunt, Krotivania.
He refused to pray to either and pretended not to notice the similarities in the legends of the Darkling God who stole Caltek's most precious possession or the stories of the mother's precious Darkling God who ran with mischief in his wake and was a God of thieves, forbidden trysts, and the downtrodden.
The Shiro that had been returned to them turned out to be nothing more than a clone, though even as he fought against him, Keith struggled because he knew there was still a connection, somewhere. As tenuous as it was, Keith could still feel Shiro in this world. As the stage of their fight fell around them, Keith held on to Shiro. There was nothing he could do, nothing he could ever do but die with Shiro in the end.
But this life had greater twists than the others and they were once against saved by the Black Lion. Keith held his breath and stamped on his own heart repeatedly for the hope it tried to spew as they raced to get back to Allura and find a way to bring Shiro back to consciousness.
***
When Shiro woke, Keith pulled him into his arms and he wasn't sure he'd ever be able to let him go. They'd had too little time in this lifetime. And even though Keith had confessed his love to Shiro in their fight, it hadn't been what he'd really wanted to admit. What he'd really needed to say.
There was still a war going on though and there was still a universe to save, even if Keith would have let it all burn, now that he had Shiro safe again. Which wasn't great for their current relationship and mission.
"We can't just sit around and wait for something to happen!" Lance said as they sat around the table and discussed their next move. Shiro had barely been awake a day before he'd demanded to be updated on everything. His memory was splotchy from two different sets of memories and Keith would have laughed at the idea of it, if Shiro weren't so obviously distressed over it.
"No one is suggesting that we do nothing." Shiro tried to stop the fight before it began, but Keith was suggesting exactly that, actually. As much as he wanted to go to Earth and help the people there, it wasn't worth risking Shiro again.
"Really? Because maybe Keith doesn't care that there are people on Earth that might suffer for what we've done, but I do. I have family there still!"
"Most of us do," Shiro reminded Lance. Shiro wasn't one of those, but no one ever mentioned it. "What Keith wants is for us to get more information so we don't walk in blind."
"No," Lance countered. "What Keith wants is to do nothing, he's just dressing it up as intel gathering so he can talk you out of this fight."
"That's not," Shiro hesitated and Keith knew the other man was remembering Keith's confession. "Keith's not..."
"Yes, I am."
"What?" Shiro's eyes were comically big as he looked at Keith, trying to comprehend what he'd just heard.
"Lance is right." He hadn't meant to say it, but it came out anyway, a betrayal from his heart to his lips but he couldn't take it back. "I can't ... I can't watch you die again," Keith said softly. "I can barely handle this life as it is. I can't live it without you." He saw the way the others gaped but he ignored them all as he walked out. He needed to breathe, needed the space that the castle didn't seem to give him.
Instead of the training rooms or his quarters, or even the Black Lion, he went to the observatory. The view of the stars around them gave him a moment's peace and when he pressed his face against the clear wall, he could feel the cool of it against his skin. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He didn't do it often, not on purpose, but he did now.
He remembered the first time he saw Shiro, waking from his treacherous fall onto the strange planet and finding kindness where he'd expected death. Finding beauty where he'd expected pain. Finding the one thing in the entire universe that could possibly be worth all the suffering he'd endured.
"Keith?" His name was softly spoken and he refused to look back at Shiro. He felt Shiro come to stand behind him though, his body warm against his back where the wall was cool against his face. "Keith, please talk to me?"
He let out a deep breath. "What is there to say, Shiro?"
"Tell me what this is all about?"
"How many times have I had to lose you in this life, alone?" Keith asked. "How am I supposed to survive this? I ... I'm not that man. I can't pretend that losing you won't destroy me this time." He turned to look up at Shiro, close enough that he could reach out and touch if he wanted. "I have loved you, Shiro, for ages. Ages. I can't watch you die again."
"I'm right here," Shiro said. He leaned closer until his forehead rested against Keith's. Keith stayed like that for a moment, breathing in Shiro's breath, feeling centered around this man once again. When Shiro pulled back slightly, it was to bring his hand up and tip Keith's chin. When Keith looked up, Shiro pressed their lips together.
Keith jerked back with a sob. "Don't."
"Keith?"
"I can't." There were tears in his eyes and in his throat but he didn't give a damn. "I can't because you'll die and I'll die and ... how many times can I lose you?"
"Keith, you won't lose me. I wanted to tell you. I came to tell you," he said as he pulled Keith back into his arms. "I love you, Keith. All that time in that place, I thought about you constantly. About what you mean to me. I love you. You won't ever lose me again."
"Yes. He will."
The world seemed to spasm around them and reality with it. One moment they were on the Castle of Lions and the next they were on an ancient precipice, faced with the nine Gods of Galra. Allura was with them as well, but none of the others. Keith felt some relief that they hadn't been dragged into this, but he had no idea why Allura was here.
"You play with things that are not your own, Altean."
Shiro shifted to stand beside Allura while Katspal, God of Chaos spoke. He was also known as the god of magic and mirrors, or transitions and transience.
And alchemy.
"Who are you and what do you want of us?" Allura asked. Allura watched them all, but Keith put his back to Shiro's, between the man he loved and the God that had once lost and coveted him.
"Did you think you could wretch him back from a spiritual realm like that and place him into a body not his own, and there would be no consequence? No price for passage? No reprimand for stealing the power that is rightfully the gods?"
"I have stolen nothing. Altean alchemy is my birthright."
"Everything about your culture was stolen from us, child," Krotivania said softly. "The Alteans and the Galra were once a single people. You grew apart and while the Galra continued to celebrate us, you made gods of science and technology and left behind the old Gods, except for the alchemy you stole from us. The same alchemy we used to forge the creation we made, so long ago."
"What did you make?" Allura asked.
The world suddenly shook with vibration and the roar of lions made them cover their ears. All five lions flew down to the precipice and Keith barely had time to register the lions before the Paladins were whisked from their lions and stood beside Keith.
Caltek let out a snort of amusement but none of the other Gods answered the interruption.
"We made a perfect being," Krotivania said softly. "And Caltek took him, as was his right by trial in arms. How could I know that my blood would turn aside from his own kind and steal Caltek's prize from him?"
"What exactly is going on here?" Hunk asked.
"I'm still trying to figure that out," Shiro answered honestly.
"Would you explain, or should I, Darkling?" Caltek broke his silence.
Keith glared at Caltek but the hate that had been there in their previous life seemed to have disappeared from the God. Keith didn't trust it, but the others had no idea what they were up against.
"The Galran Gods created a perfect being, but Caltek couldn't keep him. He fell in love with a half-bred Demi-God, who loved him so much he defied the Gods and tried to steal him away. Caltek caught them and cursed them to live forever, reincarnated, but never to live life together for long. When you used Altean Alchemy to restore Shiro's soul, it must have allowed them to find him again."
"Find who?" Lance asked.
"Shiro. Their perfect creation."
"What? Keith, that's crazy. I'm not perfect."
Krotivania laughed as she raised a hand. "Then I suppose he is not my Darkling son." Dark beams of light left her hand and as it struck Keith, he felt the change happen. His nails grew and his fangs dropped. His skin turned purple and his eyes took on the yellow of his eternal mother's. Pain ripped through his shoulders and his wings returned to him. He dropped on one knee in pain, but he held his knife before him and stared at the Gods around them.
"Um, guys, did Keith just sprout black wings?" Hunk asked.
"What the hell, Keith?" Lance demanded.
"Keith?" Shiro's voice was shaken but Keith didn't have the time to reassure him. As much as Caltek was the enemy Keith had always feared, it was his own eternal mother that seemed the most likely to attack here. The other Gods seemed happy to watch the drama as it unfolded; a truth Keith had always exploited in his first life.
"He has no right to this life," the Goddess said softly. "How many times has he died? How many times should one creation get to experience rebirth again? How many times should you, Darkling child of mine? I think you have reached the end of your story."
"Enough!"
The air around them shivered and they covered their hands against the voice of Caltek. He was a warrior, a true God of Retribution and he had never bent knee or cowered to another. The silence of the other eight Gods showed his power and his true position among them.
"There is only one among us who has the right to judge them. I care not for the Altean alchemist. Her little magics are nothing compared to the glory of Katspal and there is no need to defend his honor for such offenses. The Darkling and his lover have always been mine though."
"He was never yours," Keith reminded Caltek.
Caltek watched him for a moment before he looked at Shiro. "You still bear the scar he gave me," Caltek said softly, "and my metal arm. Even marked like this, you are still beautiful, Shiro."
Shiro's fist clenched and Keith watched as it flared purple. Shiro didn't move though, simply glared at Caltek as if he could remember why he was so feared and hated.
Caltek looked back to Keith then. "Does it bother you, to see my emblem upon him? To see the scar you left us, upon his face? How many lives has he wore one of them or both?"
"All I ever cared about was keeping him safe. That arm, the Galra arm he wears, in this life it was a weapon to keep him alive in the arena and it has seen him through battle after battle. Even if you had made the arm, I would thank you for it, because it saved him. It brought him back to me."
Caltek looked at Shiro, then at the others beside him. "I had not intended to send the slaves with him, but their love of him bound them to him as well. Have they ever remembered?" Keith shook his head and Caltek nodded in understanding. "Only you have remembered, and I understand now what you said back then. The cruelty of loving what you can never have, of knowing love and losing it over and over again. I have watched you often, and from afar, but never without waiting for you to break. This life, it has done the most to damage the Darkling spirit inside you, that part of you that allowed you to be revived over and over again. But still, you persisted. Why?"
Keith had never been so angry in his life... in any of his lives. "Don't you get it?" he demanded. "I love him. I have and always will love him. It has ripped me to shreds, it has given me moments of incredible lows and the highest of highs, but even when I denied myself the attempt, I could never deny him. I could never leave him and let him die alone. I would rather suffer a thousand more deaths with him than let him live one life where he died alone. If you knew love, if you were capable of it, you would understand."
He expected an angry reply or an act of violence. He was stunned, once again, by Caltek's carefully considered look. "You have not lied, Darkling. You have shown more devotion to Shiro than I ever could have. This ... love ... you have is not something we are capable of, not the way mortals are. The two of you were destined to be happy in this life. I did not think it possible but the curse I laid upon you was undone when he returned home with you, to the caverns of the beast he once called home. I will not let them interfere with that. What happens to your life now is your own. How you live, and how you die, are no longer my doing."
Keith didn't trust the God, had never trusted them, but he believed in the sincerity of his voice. Caltek was a God of War, but he was no liar. "Thank you."
"Shiro, step forward."
Shiro seemed to move without thought and Keith jumped to stop him but it was too late. Caltek pressed a kiss to his forehead and Shiro's body immediately began to spasm. Seizures took his body and he fell to the ground even as the others tried to stop his fall. The lions roared around them and Keith pulled his blade to the ready but Caltek smiled.
"You have waited eons for him to know you. You have suffered for him. He has a right to know the truth."
"No! What did you do?"
The world spasmed around them for the second time and when Keith opened his eyes he was back in the observatory in the Castle of Lions. Shiro's seizure had passed but he wasn't conscious. Keith pulled him into his arms and began to walk out of the observatory but his wings hit the side of the doors and he bit off a curse. It had been so long since he'd had them he almost forgot how to maneuver them. He pulled them tighter to his body and managed the doorway.
"Keith?"
He heard footsteps pounding around him and he knew the team was behind him even if he couldn't turn to look.
"He hasn't regained consciousness. Get one of the beds ready." When he stepped into the medical bay, they had a bed ready but they all stepped back from him in surprise.
Coran was the only one who seemed unfazed by Keith's wings. "Well, I'm sure that's an interesting story," he said as he looked at Keith's wings. He pushed around the others though and open the bed. "Set him here."
Keith let out a deep breath as he set Shiro on the bed. As soon as the monitor began to show that Shiro's life functions were all steady, Keith relaxed a little. Enough to force his skin back to its usual color. His yellow sclera faded back to white and his fangs disappeared. There was nothing to do about the wings though. He had never been able to make them come and go, unlike his Galra heritage.
"Perhaps, while we wait, someone could tell me what happened?" Coran asked Keith.
"I'm sure we could all use a little clarification," Pidge said, but there was a slight smile on her face to take away the sting of her earlier reaction to him. Keith sighed but at least it would help pass some of the time.
***
No one left the room. No one wanted to miss the ending of this story. Coran gave Keith some privacy, but the others waited at Shiro's side to see what would happen when he woke. Hunk left at one point to get food for them all. Lance regaled them with tales of his family and, in a roundabout way, all the happy couples that had managed against the odds. If Keith weren't drowning in his panic, he'd be grateful.
"How many lives do you remember?" Pidge asked when they were all back to their silent vigil. Keith loved them all dearly but silence could only hold so long among them.
"I don't know," he answered honestly. "There were Galran lives. Altean lives. Mer. Olkari. Tashian. Fusian. Human. I don't know if it's because of my human body now, or if it's because they were the most recent, but the human lives are the ones that have the greatest detail for me. I can't even remember how many humans lives we lived."
"Did you know about the curse, every time?" Allura asked.
Keith nodded. "Not the whole time, but I remembered before I died, every time." He looked down at his hands and tried not to think of Shiro, too still on the bed right now. It reminded him of the Holt Manor House. He stood up and began to pace the room.
"Did you ever get to be happy?" Coran asked.
"I don't know. I mean, there were always moments. Even if I didn't know until I died, there were moments where Shiro and I connected. In every life."
"What was your favorite life?" Hunk asked.
Keith huffed at that because he knew Hunk expected some great romance or some epic tale, but sometimes, the smallest things were the best.
"I was five when I met Shiro and I knew everything."
"What happened?" Pidge asked softly.
"He had the plague," Shiro answered. None of them had noticed the medical pod opening or Shiro sitting up but they were all stunned to silence by his words. "I was twelve. My family had already died to the disease and I was wandering the streets, trying to find help. I was lost. Keith found me and took me to his home. He gave me water to drink, bread and apples to eat. He even tried to kiss me better."
Keith smiled. "You said I wasn't allowed to kiss you because you were a boy."
"And we fell asleep," Shiro said. "And we died together."
"That was your happiest life?" Lance sounded gutted.
Keith looked down, but he let out a contented sigh at the memory. "I had a five-year-olds concept of the world. We met and all I knew was I loved him and he was going to stay with me until the end. And he did. We fell asleep together and it was the most content feeling I'd ever had. It still is."
Shiro got up and knelt before Keith. He took his hands in his own and he waited until Keith looked at him.
"I was rather fond of our meeting on the stagecoach."
"You were rather fond of sleeping under the stars, while we were traveling by stagecoach," Keith corrected.
Shiro laughed and Keith let out a shaky breath. "Keith," Shiro said as he cupped Keith's cheek with one hand. "I don't know how you survived it all. I ... it's not all clear yet, but there were so many lives. So many deaths and too little love between."
"Never," Keith refuted. "I always loved you."
"I know," Shiro's voice was shaky as he spoke. "I didn't know at the time though. He didn't let me remember you. I am so sorry, Keith. I promised... I ..."
"Your dying words, in the cave," Keith said softly. "I never doubted them. That gave me strength when I was weak. Even when I doubted my sanity, I never wondered if you could come to love me in any life."
"Even this one?" Shiro asked.
Keith shrugged. "This was harder. I was born knowing. I wasn't always. I was hurt too young, abandoned by my mother and I lost my father and I had memories of loving someone and dying for them too many times. When I met you, I just wanted a life to recover from it all."
"Shiro," Coran interrupted them and Keith suddenly remembered the others were still there. "You should return to your quarters and get some rest. Even if this Caltek simply gave you these memories, your mind will surely need time to process it all. Go get some sleep."
He ushered the others out of the room and Keith stood. He offered Shiro a hand. "Come on. He's right. Let's get you back to your bed."
Shiro didn't fight him on that, so Keith led him back to his quarters, though Shiro hadn't let go of his hand either. When Keith tried to pull his hand free once they were in his room, Shiro refused still.
"I agreed to go back to bed Keith. I never said I would go alone."
"Shiro."
"Lay with me, Keith," Shiro said softly. "I haven't had a truly good night's sleep since the farmhouse."
Keith let out a huff. "That was a horrible mattress."
"Now it was a horrible mattress. Back then, it was the most comfortable bed money could buy."
When Shiro set his hands on Keith's chest and began to strip him of his clothes, he didn't argue. Keith returned the favor until they were both naked and they went to bed, Keith settling with his head on Shiro's chest. He was restless though and Shiro seemed to know it. "What?"
Keith sighed. "It doesn't matter."
"What, Keith?"
"I just ... you know mine. What ... what was your favorite life?"
Shiro let out a deep breath as he pulled Keith closer to him and pressed a kiss to his temple. "Once upon a time, there was a young man who knew nothing of love. He was treasured and cared for, but it was not love, even if he was too young to know that. And then one day, a Darkling fell from the sky and changed everything."
Shiro pulled Keith's chin up and he kissed him softly on the lips. Keith barely moved, almost afraid of getting what he'd wanted for so very long.
"Every life he lived, every death he woke again from, the young man learned what love was. Be it from child or companion, hero or soldier. Every life. Every death. They were part of the same story. So this, this right here is my favorite because it's all the same. We're together, just like we said we would be. Forever. I love you Keith, and there is nothing that will ever take me from you again."
Keith didn't stop him when he started speaking again because as much as he wanted to lose himself in Shiro right now, he needed this confession. He needed Shiro's words of love. After lives of being separated too soon, of not having enough time to love, he needed this.
"My life isn't perfect. The Gods created me to be, but how can they create perfection when they don't understand freedom? That's what you gave me. No slavery. No life as a pampered pet. Just a life of love, over and over, until the end." Shiro looked up and smiled. "Though I have to admit, I never thought to see your wings again. I'm glad you have them back."
"Yeah?"
"They were the first thing I saw of you. I never looked at you once in that life without thinking of them."
"And now?"
"I think the same thing."
"And what's that?" Keith pressed.
"Love," Shiro said against his lips. "Love rises and sets on Darkling wings."