Title:
Make Up For Lost TimeFandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Pairing: Roy/Ed
Summary: "You think I could ever get over you, Fullmetal?” Roy asked. “Do you think I even tried?”
Author's Note: Unbeta'd, because I am currently looking for a beta. Anyone interested? You can leave a comment or send me a message. Written for no reason. I don't know why this idea popped into my head, but here it is. Hope you enjoy! :P
“I still don’t understand why you’re doing this, Brother.”
Ed looked down at the bag on his bed and the clothes in his hands and let out a deep sigh. It wasn’t that he wanted to leave Central. Far from it, actually. His life was here. His brother was here, so was his work and his research. So was… he sighed.
“I know, Al. But it’s only Xing. You can visit any time. As soon as I find a place, I’ll let you know so you can come see me, alright?”
“I could just go with you,” Alphonse offered. Ed didn’t want him to come though and he knew Alphonse didn’t want it either.
“You just started a new semester, Al,” he said with a smile. “Besides, I’m the big brother and you know I can take care of myself.”
Alphonse gave him a look that said he clearly doubted him on that front but Ed ignored it as he continued to pack his bag. He had a train to catch in the morning.
“What about the General?”
It wasn’t meant to be a low blow, but what his brother didn’t know was exactly why Ed was leaving. Ed loved the bastard. He had for years and he always would. Alphonse knew they’d become friends but he didn’t know that they were more. Because in Amestris they couldn’t be what they wanted to be. No one could know, so Ed had even kept the secret from Alphonse.
He couldn’t live that way anymore though. And Roy couldn’t live any other way right now. When they’d first met they’d both had goals so much bigger than themselves, and while Ed had managed to reach his, Roy was still working towards his own.
No matter how much Roy loved him, there was too much at stake for him to walk away from his position and leave it all behind. Ed knew that. So in the end, he had to do what was best for him and hope that someday, Roy would remember.
“Mustang has things to do. I’ll let him know where I settle too. Don’t worry so much. It’ll be just like old times.”
***
The first month wasn’t so bad. The journey to Xing was exhilarating after three years of local travel. He had missed the open road and he was able to linger in whatever places he wanted, since there was no one waiting for him to return.
Once in Xing, he’d been entertained by the Emperor, and the joys of a new city had taken up most of his day and left him so tired he barely had time to miss his lover. He found an apartment, found work as a translator for the court, and began the onerous task of establishing himself in Xing’s capital.
The second month was the hardest. There was still do much to do and see, but not so much that he exhausted himself every day. He fell into a routine of sorts, which left him lying in bed at night, reaching for someone who wasn’t there.
On the better nights, he would bring himself off to the memory of gentle hands and loving words and the fond memories of laughter in the bedroom. Those nights he cried himself to sleep, missing Roy too much to hold it in.
On the worse nights, he remembered the early days, the anger and fights, and he got himself off as fast as he could. Those nights, nothing was satisfying and he never stayed in bed long. On those nights, he wound up out in the streets, looking for a fight so he could release the anger that he couldn’t seem to get rid of. He’d stumble home, hours later, bruised and maybe bleeding, and fall into bed, mumbling his hatred around the broken heart that clogged his throat.
It took time, to rebuild a life. The Emperor tried to give him beautiful concubines to settle his loneliness though Ed always declined. When Ed took time to go visit with Mei and her clan she’d tried to set him up with some eligible members of her clan, and he’d declined them as well.
Ed didn’t want other lovers. He wanted the one he had.
***
The Drachmans declared war on Amestris, fighting over their borders once again. Ed listened to the radio intently for every scrap of information he could get. His friends wrote him and kept him as up to date as they could. General Roy Mustang was all over the news, but no State Alchemists were called into battle as weapons. That didn’t mean that Roy wasn’t on the front lines though. That didn’t mean Armstrong and the other alchemists weren’t there as well. They just weren’t weaponized.
“Are you going to return home?” Ling asked him once night, sitting in front of the fire with only Lan Fan as witness to their conversation.
“Why would I?”
“In case he needs you.”
Ed shook his head. “To do what? Wait for the same news over the radio? I’m not even his subordinate anymore. No one would tell me what is happening any quicker if I was there.”
“Ed-”
“Not this again. It’s been two years, Ling. I’m sure he’s moved on by now.”
“If you truly believe that, then why don’t you?”
Ed ignored the question in favor of his drink. He finished off the wine, a taste he’d acquired once he began eating out with Roy more often, and set it on the table.
“Nice to see you again, Ling. I better get going. I have to be in court early tomorrow.”
“Ed, I’m just worried about you. I think … I believe that you are happy here, but you’re lonely. There are so many people who want your love.”
Ed threw his jacket over his shoulder and started towards the door. “Too bad it was so well won already.”
He left the Emperor’s private chambers and headed down the well-known paths of the Palace out into the chilly night air. He could hear the General’s voice whispering in the back of his head.
“Don’t complain to me when your shoulder aches in the morning.”
He let out a tired sigh and let the man bully him into putting his jacket on even when he wasn’t there. It was true though. It was the start of the colder seasons and he had to take extra care of his shoulder. It had been far more brutalized over the years and it was more sensitive to that sort of thing than his knee was. Without Roy there to massage the pain away, to force him into warm baths, the last winter had been bitter for Ed.
***
The Xingese night sky was lit with fireworks and Ed watched from a quiet balcony in the Palace. The Emperor had been an ardent supporter of Führer Grumman’s plans to hand the government of Amestris away from the military and into the hands of its Parliament so the week-long celebration wasn’t a surprise. Today, the papers were signed. It would be some time before the military was completely out of control, a step by step handing over was necessary, but it was ratified and there was no turning back the democratic tides.
Ed raised his glass. “Once step closer, Love,” he toasted.
“And what will you do if I want to take more than one step closer?”
The words were whispered against the back of his ear and Ed whirled around to stare at the man in front of him. He didn’t notice the wine glass slip from his hands, or the way it shattered on the floor.
“You can’t be here,” Ed whispered. He knew the name of every delegate who’d come to Xing from Amestris. Ling would never have kept this from him.
Roy’s eyes roamed over him, seemingly unable to settle in one place for long. Ed looked the other man over as well, noting the suit he wore instead of his military regalia, the slight greying of his hair at the temple, the soft lines that had begun to appear on his still boyish face.
“I can’t be anywhere else,” Roy said finally. He brought his eyes up to Ed’s then and Ed fisted his hands to keep them from shaking. Ed was angry and sad and so overcome with the last five years of loneliness that he wanted to lash out, but he wasn’t that angry kid anymore.
“I can’t do this, Roy. Please. I know you moved on, but I can’t and I can’t see you here and-”
“You think I could ever get over you, Fullmetal?” Roy asked. “Do you think I even tried?”
“What?”
Roy shook his head and let out a little scoff. “You’re still such a brat.”
“What the hell was that for, Bastard?”
Roy moved quicker than Ed had expected and suddenly he was in Roy’s arms and lips were pressed to his and Ed barely stifled the sob that wanted to rise when Roy’s tongue softly demanded access.
Ed didn’t know how long they stayed like that, but when he felt the heat between them grow, he pulled back, letting his head drop to Roy’s shoulder. “I can’t, Roy. Please. Just go. I can’t … I can’t do this tonight and then watch you walk out again, and I can’t go back to Amestris and go back to hiding how much I love you.”
Roy caught Ed’s face in his hands and pulled him up until they were looking at one another again. “I’m staying, Ed.”
“What?”
“I tried to get the laws changed but even if the sentiment is changing, it will take years for the laws to change and let us be together in Amestris. And I can’t wait any longer.”
“No. You can’t …. You can’t just give up on your dream of being Führer. You worked so hard to get there.”
“I worked hard to get the military under control of the Parliament, to stop the war mongering, to make sure that State Alchemists were never turned into weapons again. I thought I could only do that by becoming Führer. All these years of politics taught me that I have far more control over what happens when I’m in the background though, pulling the strings when no one knows it’s me. The Führer is nothing more than a figurehead now. Ed, I did what I planned to do.”
“You did?”
“Uh hu,” Roy said as his hand slid back into Ed’s hair. “Now, I’m going to do the only thing I ever wanted to do for myself.”
“And what is that?”
“Be with the man I love.”
“Roy-” he wanted this to be true but he couldn’t believe it. He needed it too much.
“General Mustang resigned his place in the Amestris army and the Flame Alchemist turned in his pocket watch. I’m just a civilian now. Alphonse has spent years telling me how great Xing is. I think it just might be a good place to try to start over, so I packed my bags. I had hoped there might be something here for me.”
“You’re here. You’re moving to Xing?”
“Moved. Your brother had all our things packed up and sent to Mei together so no one would know I was coming to tip you off.”
“Alphonse is here?”
“He’s spending the night with Mei and her clan. He’ll come by in the morning to see you.”
“You both moved to Xing?”
Roy nodded. “Ed, I know it’s been too long. I should have called or written or-”
“Shut up!” Ed yelled but he took the sting away by pulling Roy close and kissing him. Roy’s hand tugged his hair lightly and the other slid down to his waist and pulled him closer.
Ed didn’t stop kissing him as he pushed him back out of the balcony and into the room. Ling has insisted he spend the night at the Palace to view the fireworks but Ed had wanted the privacy. He was so glad now as he pushed Roy back until he sat on the edge of the bed.
He dropped to his knees and pushed Roy’s jacket off his shoulders. Roy worked his tie loose while Ed started on his vest. There were no words as Ed stripped Roy of his clothes and settled once again between his knees.
“Ed,” Roy whispered his name and he brought their lips together again. Ed’s hands wandered over Roy’s body, noting the changes five years had wrought. There were new scars he didn’t have stories for and he knew he would have to remedy that. There was a bullet wound that had been all over the news and as he pulled away from Roy’s kiss, he set his lips to that scar on his shoulder.
Roy’s hand was in his hair still and he held Ed there for a moment. “Miss you so damn much, Ed,” he said softly.
Ed leaned up and kissed him again as his hands caressed down his chest and over his thighs. He smiled as Roy jumped slightly. “Still ticklish,” Ed whispered as he hit the spot behind Roy’s knee again. Roy laughed as he batted Ed’s hand away from there.
“Stop being a brat,” Roy admonished.
“Bastard,” Ed said with a grin. This time, he brought his hand up to cup Roy’s erection and Roy moaned at the simple touch.
Roy had always been a vocal lover when he could. He enjoyed giving pleasure to others and he let his lovers know what he enjoyed in return. They had always had to be careful though, never too loud or too carefree for fear that someone might overhear them, someone might see something they shouldn’t.
Here though, in Xing, there was no prejudice against them. Here, they could live as they wanted. Be as loud as they wanted, Ed thought as he licked his lips and leaned in press them against the head of Roy’s cock.
And there was that lovely moan again, so much better than he’d remembered in his head. He parted his lips and slid down Roy’s cock while his hand slid up the base. He felt Roy’s fingers in his hair and the tie that held it in place was tugged free.
He’d forgotten how much Roy liked to see him like this, on his knees with his hair falling around him. He looked up to meet Roy’s eyes and felt seared by the heat in them; the raw, desperate need.
He began to pleasure him in earnest then, licking and sucking the way he had so often in his dreams. Roy wouldn’t last long, not after this long apart, and that’s what Ed wanted. He never questioned that Roy knew what he wanted in return.
“Ed,” Roy moaned his name and Ed could feel his body tense under him. He pulled back until just the head was in his mouth and he sucked hard until he felt Roy’s whole body still. The pulse of come in his mouth made Ed moan and he continued to suck and lick until there was no more, until Roy was a shuddering mess. He pulled Ed from his knees and into his lap.
Roy attacked his mouth as much as he kissed it, fingers digging into Ed’s body as if he could mark him up enough to make up for the five years they were apart. His buttons were singed off with a snap and his clothes were pushed off his body with feverish kisses catching at every new piece of skin Roy revealed.
He’d forgotten this too, how frantic Roy was at their reunions, every time one of them had to leave on a mission and their all too few visits had to stop for that duration.
“Good thing we’re in my room,” Ed said breathlessly, “or I’d have to walk home naked tomorrow.”
“Worth it,” Roy pressed into his neck. “I could, couldn’t I?” Roy asked then. “Make you wear your button-less shirt, looking all rumpled, leaving no question to how you got that way. I could walk down the hall hand in hand with you like that and not have to worry.”
Ed laughed. “Don’t say that out loud. Ling would encourage it.”
Roy pulled Ed’s face to his, eyes searching. “Just so long as he knows your mine.”
Ed leaned in with a far gentler kiss than they’d been sharing. “Yours. Always, only yours.”
“Just me, Ed?” he asked.
Ed bit his lower lip before he nodded.
“Why, Ed?” the look in Roy’s eyes was confused, lost. Ed didn’t know what he wanted or what he was questioning. “Why would you wait for me?”
“Bastard,” he said softly, “like I could find this anywhere else. Like anyone else could understand me and how fucked up I am and still love me for it.”
“I do love you for it, Ed,” Roy whispered as he gently moved them up the bed until Ed was on his back with Roy resting between his knees. Their kisses turned softer now, words of love whispered against skin, names moaned out into the night air.
Roy slowly removed the rest of his clothes and opened him up with the slow slide of slicked fingers and the playful press of love bites and marks sucked into his skin.
“Ed, I need you,” Roy whispered as he removed his fingers from Ed’s body. Ed moaned at the words, at the loss of fullness he felt with Roy’s fingers inside him.
“Roy, please,” he begged.
Roy swallowed the rest of his plea from his mouth and he began the soft glide into Ed’s body. He wanted the burn and sting, but Roy had opened him up so patiently, four fingers, and long languid licks that had him begging and pleading to be fucked. Roy had ignored it all to make sure their first coupling after so long apart was this.
Roy was sheathed in him with one gentle thrust and Ed nearly sobbed at how good it felt to have his lover back. Roy pressed his forehead to Ed’s and just rested there for a moment.
“Move, Bastard,” Ed laughed after a minute had passed and Roy was still, his breathing settled evenly and his eyes taking in Ed.
“Never again,” Roy said with a grin. “Just going to stay like this. Make the Emperor send food in for us so I can just stay like this forever.”
Ed brought his legs up around Roy’s waist and pulled him just that bit closer. Roy moaned and Ed grinned. “Keep this up and I’m going to think you forgot how to do me,” he teased.
Roy shook his head but Ed could see the grin on his lips. “Like I could forget a single thing about you, Ed.”
And then he pulled his hips back and thrust hard. Ed closed his eyes and threw back his head because, yes, that was exactly what he wanted. Roy pumped into him and Ed had to hold onto his shoulders to try to get some leverage.
“Like I could forget that you let me open you up so good,” Roy whispered in his ear, “but that you like it hard, and fast, and dirty.”
His voice in Ed’s ear, the words, the silky smooth edge gone rough and rocky in a way that only happened when they were being intimate. He missed every bit of it. Roy grabbed his hands and help them over his head, fingers entwined together as Roy fucked him rough. Ed’s heels crossed behind Roy’s back to encourage him harder and faster and just more. Roy kissed bruises into his skin and left bite marks all over his body.
Ed wanted to return the favor, but not yet. No, after, when they were sated and lying together, then he’d have his chance. And he’d leave his own marks on Roy’s body, until Roy was moaning again, his cock hard and thick and ready for him. Ed would ride him until he screamed, until they both did, heads tossed back until Roy grabbed him and pulled him down for kissed that could last for days.
Roy moaned over him and their eyes locked. Ed was unable to breath, unable to think as he watched the emotions passing through his lover’s eyes. He didn’t know what Roy saw in his own but there was nothing between them that was not returned in equal measure.
Equivalent exchange of the heart, Ed used to joke.
Soulmates, Roy had said once in a fit of romanticism.
“Yes,” Ed moaned aloud at the memory. All of it. Yes.
He felt it coming then, the build of ecstasy too strong to deny now.
“Like this?” Roy asked.
“Like this,” Ed panted back, and Roy shifted ever so slightly and the entire world whited out as he thrust in one more time.
He could feel Roy’s hips rolling into him, knew his lover was coming as Ed spilled creamy and hot between them. He couldn’t stop the sob then, didn’t try.
Roy pulled from his body and lay back as he took Ed into his arms. Roy kissed the tears away but Ed wasn’t the only one with them. It was too much after too long a wait, too hard to hold it all in; the loss and pain and the years of being alone. Of wanting someone so much and knowing how damn good they could be, if only they could be together.
They had both settled after a while, Ed happy enough to just lay in Roy’s arms for a bit while Roy ran one hand up and down his automail while the other ran through his hair and down his back.
“You have to marry me now,” Roy said into the silence.
“I do?”
“Uh hu. Quit my job, moved to Xing. You can’t take me back like that and not marry me now.”
“Is that a proposal?”
Roy cupped his cheek and turned his face up so Ed was looking him in the eye. “Yes, Fullmetal, it’s a proposal. I want to wake up every morning with you, wear matching rings and walk hand in hand down the street showing them off. I want to take you to fancy restaurants and have you drag me into little mom and pop shops, go into dive bars and be able to come home with you and fall asleep with you every night. I want to be an Elric, or for you to be a Mustang, or whatever we call ourselves, so long as no one can ever doubt who I love. Who I belong with. Marry me, Ed.”
Ed stroked his fingers over Roy’s face, overwhelmed by the turn of the night’s events. He had started tonight alone and wishing for nothing more than this man’s happiness, and now here he was, being offered everything that would give him his own. This infuriating, stubborn, bastard of a man was always messing with him like that.
“Yes,” he said as he pressed a kiss to Roy’s lips. “Yes, I’ll marry you, Roy.”
Roy’s eyes widened, like he had expected some other answer.
“Bastard, you made me wait long enough!”
Roy laughed then and rolled over, rummaging on the floor for something. “Well, I did have a couple things to do before I could ask.”
“I bet you made Hawkeye do all the work.”
“As much as I could.”
“Lazy,” Ed teased.
“Alphonse too.”
“You drug my brother in to help you?”
“On a special project.” Roy sat back in bed but instead of lying down, he held a small bag in his hand and showed it to Ed. Ed sat up with him and took the bag from his hands.
It was a small, simple red velvet drawstring bag but Ed opened it and two rings fell into his hand. Silver and gold wrapped around each other in a twisting pattern.
“Alphonse had your mother and father’s wedding rings. He kept your father’s for himself, but we took your mother’s to Winry. The gold is her ring. The silver…”
“Alphonse’s armor.” Ed didn’t need Roy to nod to know the truth. What else would they have used to make a ring for him. For them.
“Winry did an amazing job,” Roy said softly as he ran a finger over the edge of one of the rings. “I know she’s top of her field as an automail mechanic, but she put a lot of artistry in these rings. She could make a fortune doing jewelry if she ever changed her mind.”
“You made these, for us?”
Roy cupped Ed’s cheek and kissed him softly. “I don’t have faith in a lot of things, but I could never give up the hope that you’d still want me when this was all done.”
“You’re an idiot,” Ed said with a smile.
“But I’m your idiot.”
“I’m going to marry an idiot,” Ed laughed. Roy laughed with him and pulled Ed into his lap. Ed gently set the rings in the bag and put it on the table beside the bed, then wrapped his arms around Roy’s shoulders.
“I guess we have a whole life to figure out now,” Ed said.
Roy nodded. “Yeah, we do.”
“So, what do we do next?”
Roy smiled and Ed found himself flipped onto his back with Roy settling between his legs. “Tonight, my dearest Ed, we make up for lost time.”