About My Cargo
Title: About My Cargo
Author: hunters_retreat
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Theirs was a rivalry long established and -when Jared was being honest with himself - much anticipated.
Author's Note: Written for My trope Bingo Card. This was my rival to lovers square.
"This is all your star-blasted fault!"
Jared ducked under another blast from the laser gun and pushed the other man down low to the ground.
"How the hell is this my fault?" Jensen demanded as he turned to glare at Jared. He pushed Jared off him and raised his weapon to fire three quick rounds before ducking back behind the metal cabinet. "I was doing just fine until you showed up."
"You were stealing my cargo."
"Put your money where your mouth is. That find was unpaid for when I showed and they were ready to sell. Next time you might want to high tail it over instead of thinking a pretty smile over the comm is gonna be enough to hold onto cargo like this."
Jared refused to rise to the other man's bait. Their rivalry had been decades in the making, beginning back in their academy days when Jared had taken Jensen’s prime seat in astronomy and had continued on through their enlistment and eventually into their buccaneering days. Theirs was a rivalry long established and -when Jared was being honest with himself - much anticipated. No one got under his skin the way Jensen did. From Jensen’s reputation as an uber-professional he knew it was the same for the other man because whatever professionalism Jensen had seemed to dissolve as soon as Jared walked in the room.
“I was on my way and when I say I’m going to come for something I always do. Not that you’d appreciate that sort of commitment.”
The cabinet they were crouched behind grew warm and Jared barely had time to shout before it exploded between them. Jensen was thrown and Jared watched him hit his head hard against the wall. The cabinet pushed Jared back but he’d managed to brace himself just before impact.
The room was ringing and Jared couldn’t hear anything but that sound. When he looked across the room he saw the emergency field had come up, covering a hole in the ship’s hull. Whatever the Angel gang had been doing seemed to have backfired and taken out the wall behind them.
Jared could see the three men snarling at them from outside the ship. Too bad they weren’t human or they’d be dead already and Jared would have one less enemy to worry about. As it was, he needed to get the cargo and high tail it to the ship before the Angels found their way back inside the ship.
Jared looked over at his rival and swore to himself. “You had to get yourself knocked out, didn’t you?” Blood flowed freely from a gash on Jensen’s head but it didn’t look life threatening. He hoped not anyway because Jared had to figure this out before he could move the other man.
The Angel gang wouldn’t let Jensen live if Jared took off with the cargo and Jared couldn’t leave him to that fate. They’d take their time with someone like Jensen. He was too pretty not to take advantage of and he was too much a pain in the ass for them to let him go. Jared didn’t have time to tow the other man’s ship away before the Angel gang got back inside though.
As much as he hated it, he knew what he was gonna have to do.
“Damn you Ackles,” Jared said as he lifted the man off the floor and made his way towards sick bay. “I don’t need this headache.”
Ackles wasn’t a lightweight and Jared was more than happy to drop him off in a med-bed and let the automatic scanners do their thing. As soon as he watched them get started - Stars but he hoped they managed to clean that head wound up without a scar - he headed towards the bridge.
It was an older ship but Jared had grown up jumping from one ship to the next. He knew how to fly anything and what he didn’t know by experience he was able to divine but instinct. He thought that was probably why Ackles had decided to hate him on first sight but Jared would probably never know the real reason. He refused to look into his own head to wonder why Jensen’s hate was such a source of amusement for him.
Jared got to the bridge and flipped on the monitor so he could keep track of the Angel’s movements. Their own ship was in docking bay 6 and Jared opened the door to it and used the manual override to eject the ship from the bay. He watched with a satisfying smirk as the floor fell out from under the ship. It was on the other side of the Angels. They’d be able to get it back but it would be floating a while before they’d get to it. Wings or no, they didn’t work so well without a gravitational force to push against. They’d doggie paddle their way to it eventually but Jared would be long gone by then.
When Jared started to move the ship he made sure the Angel gang got a good view of their ship trailing off and he laughed at their startled faces. He didn’t know their real names but the one that went by Lucifer stared into the camera and Jared could feel the hate. It didn’t give him the same warm glow that Jensen’s hate did but Jared called it a win all the same when the other two, Uriel and Zachariah, began trying to catch up with their beloved vessel, Humanity.
As soon as the three were floating away from the ship, Jared set in new coordinates and they set off again. His ship and Jensen’s were still in the docking bays and so long as there were no more incidents they would get free of this without more injuries. At least until Jensen woke because there was sure to be trouble then.
***
Jensen woke with a massive headache and an aching need to be headed west. He turned his head in that direction and let out a deep breath. Through the doors of the infirmary he could see Jared Padalecki watching him.
Of all the people in the universe that he could have been stuck in a fire fight with, it had to be Jared. He’d much rather have been shooting at Jared and if Jensen could just find a way to kill the bastard he would, only he had this stupid psychic block and he couldn’t actually kill Jared. Sometimes it sucked being one of the Advanced.
Jensen had always considered himself lucky to be an Advy. Growing up he’d had the best schools and the most conscientious of care. Everyone had respected him and given him his space. They understood and it gave Jensen the ability to become the person he needed to be.
And then Jared Padalecki had taken his life, stole his seat, and eaten his soul.
Well, not literally but some days Jensen felt like he had.
The door of the infirmary opened and Jensen looked up at Jared. “What do you want?”
“A thank you would do. I did just save your life.”
“You tried to steal my cargo, delayed my departure, and then claim hero status when the thugs that came to steal my cargo tried to kill us? I would have been long gone if you hadn’t shown up.”
“It was my cargo and you would have been dead if I hadn’t shown up. They were casing the place when I arrived. There is no way the Angels just happened to show up after we were both on board. They were watching.”
“They’re always watching,” Jensen sighed. He hadn’t meant to say anything but the Angels were always watching the Advy. As a child Jensen had been told they watched over them to make sure the rest of humanity left them alone to develop as they were supposed to but Jensen knew better now. The Angels were just as selfish and self-serving as everyone else. They watched the Advy to see what they could take from them.
“I got rid of them, by the way. They knocked out the back wall when they blasted the cabinet and took a swim in space.”
“My ship?”
“Still in the docking bay. You’re in the infirmary of the Black Star. I just took the ship and ran.”
“What are you going to do with an old battle cruiser?”
“No idea, but it was take the Black Star or leave you and your ship to the Angels. So this would be where you say -”
“Alright. Thank you. Stars, my head is killing me.”
“Yeah, you took a nasty bump,” Jared said as he walked closer. He took Jensen’s chin in his hand and tilted the other man’s head up. Jensen tried to pull away but Jared wouldn’t let him. Instead he closed his eyes so he didn’t need to look too closely at the other man.
“I’m fine.”
“At least it didn’t scar. I was afraid it would.”
“You worried about my pretty face?” Jensen snarled.
Jared’s fingers were light against his skin as they caressed where the injury had been. At least the medical bay had been well equipped. Jensen wanted to pull away but there was that damn block again, keeping him in place. He couldn’t pull away from Jared’s touch.
“I was worried about you.”
“Then stop touching me.”
“What?”
“Didn’t you ever learn not to touch an Advy?” Jensen demanded as he finally opened his eyes.
Jared’s hand dropped immediately and he backed up half way across the room before he finally spoke. “An Advy?”
Jensen saw the actual confusion on Jared’s face and he understood then. “You didn’t know?”
“How could I know?”
“You were in class with me. They sent information out to everyone two weeks before class started so they’d know not to get too close to me.”
“I wasn’t enrolled in the class. I never got any information about you.”
“Why were you there if you weren’t enrolled?”
“I uh …” Jared looked down at his feet and Jensen could see a blush creep up his neck. “I tested out of the class but there was a lot of information I didn’t know. Professor Morgan was my advisor and he knew how I got into the academy. He suggested I sit in on the class to learn the theory behind my insight.”
“You’re the one,” Jensen said quietly. There was too much awe in his voice but Jensen knew exactly who Jared was then. It had never occurred to him that he might have taken classes with the kid everyone on campus was talking about. The one who hadn’t had a bit of schooling but who’d passed every practical test thrown at him. Jensen had Morgan as an advisor as well and he’d mentioned the other student in passing. He’d wanted Jensen to help the kid out with theory. It had been an interesting idea, working with someone who’d never been planet side before, but Jensen’s curiosity made him speak up in concern. Curiosity wasn’t good for Jensen. Not then. Not now either but his curiosity wasn’t likely to make his current situation any worse.
“Yeah, that was me. I uh … I’m sorry. I didn’t know. About you.”
“I got that, but thanks. Just give me a little space.”
Jared nodded as he stepped back towards the door. “I’ll just … yeah. I’ll go. I’m glad that you’re okay though.”
“Jared?”
“Yeah?”
“That cargo is still mine.”
Jared looked up at him then, his eyes meeting Jensen’s for the first time since he found out he was an Advy. “Really? Guess we’ll have to see about that.”
He slipped out the door and Jensen yelled after him, “Jared!”
The man didn’t stop but Jensen knew he was heading towards the bridge. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Jared hadn’t known. All this time Jensen thought Jared had done it on purpose. Jared really hadn’t known.
That changed nothing though.
Except, it really changed everything.
***
Jared stared out past the console and tried to keep his attention focused on the task at hand. He failed miserably. As much as he wanted to figure out this mess with the battle cruiser he couldn’t concentrate.
An Advy. Jensen fucking Ackles was an Advy.
In all the years they’d fought, he never knew. He didn’t know if he’d have changed if he had. That wasn’t true though. Everything would have changed if he had. He would never have sat close to Jensen in that class. He would never have been so disrespectful of an Advy had he known.
Morgan had never said anything. He knew Jared had class with Jensen but he’d never said anything except to suggest once that he might study with an Advy. He’d been fascinated by the idea. He’d never met an Advy. They were rare and most kept to secluded places. Jared had never even seen an Advy without an armed escort but Jensen had been in class by himself. He’d been traveling the universe for the last ten years, fighting with Jared for most of it, and Jared had never once seen anyone helping Jensen. No platoon of soldiers. Not a single bodyguard.
How the hell does an Advy get out into space without protection?
And there was an even bigger question. Why the hell did they need it?
No one ever talked about why Advys needed the space they did or why they didn’t go out in public alone. It wasn’t just that polite company didn’t talk about it either. No one knew unless they were an Advy. So why was Jensen able to get around and the others weren’t? What made Ackles different from all the rest?
Jared had a long list of things that were different about Jensen, from his infamous stubborn streak to those green eyes that sparked like fire in the right light, but this was something else.
“Stop thinking so hard. You’re making my head ache.”
Jared looked up to find Jensen staring down at him, a firm frown in place. “What?”
“I could almost hear you thinking from the medical bay. You figure out what to do with this thing yet?”
Jensen took the seat across from Jared and he wasn’t sure what to make of it. Jensen looked like he felt better.
“I’m not any more likely to bite now than I was before,” Jensen said when Jared just stared at him.
He shook his head and looked back to the console. “I’ve got no idea. The captain was a loner and there’s no one to take it back to. It’s just space junk. I don’t actually need a battle cruiser though. I don’t have the man power to keep her running on my own and I wouldn’t want to hire a crew. Too bad. It’d be a good transport,” he said as he ran a hand over the console. “I spent a year on her when I was younger.”
“Really?”
Jared nodded. “Before it was decommissioned. It was one of the last of the Explorer fleet. The navy sold her ten years back. They renamed her the Black Star when she was bought but I know her better than that. She used to be named the Emissary.”
“This is the Emissary?”
Jared nodded as he looked over at Jensen. The name meant something to him as well but Jared didn’t know what.
“You used to work on the Emissary?” Jensen prompted.
Jared nodded again. “My dad was stationed here before she was decommissioned. I spent the best year of my life here.”
“Really?”
Jared wasn’t sure why he was talking about it but Jensen was actually being civil and as much as Jared hated the guy sometimes, he generally liked people to like him. Maybe this was the start of something else.
“I was just a kid, wandering around the ship. No one paid me much attention. I wasn’t supposed to be here but Dad worked something out with the ship’s captain. So long as I kept up with my studies they let me do what I wanted. Not all the crews we shipped out with were so great about it but the men and women of the Emissary were amazing. They showed me everything, from how to scrub the deck to how to keep the engines running smooth. It’s where I fell in love.”
“Love?”
Jared smiled and closed his eyes as he remembered. “Loved everything about this ship. I loved the tunnels that ran under the decks.” He remembered a hand being held out to him and green eyes smiling back at him. Grease smudged under his nose and across his chin but the boy was as adventurous as Jared and not afraid to get dirty even though he was supposed to stay in his cabin.
“I loved the smell the kitchens had after we stopped off at a supply run and the kitchen was filled to the brim with food and people moving to preserve it all.” He remembered hiding under the overstock cabinet and sharing slices of orange and apple. The other boy always had sweets in his pocket and after their pilfered treats they’d share whatever he’d brought.
“I loved the sound of ships docking in the bay.” He remembered the first time he saw the other boy, a few years older than Jared but so sheltered. He’d never been in space before. He was supposed to stay locked away in his room but he always escaped and somehow he never got caught. Jared, on the other hand, got caught all the time but his father was lenient and they shared a love of space that Jared had never gotten over.
“Why did you go planet side then?”
Jared sighed. Jensen’s face was closed off again as he asked. “Not sure. It felt like it was time. I know everyone thought I was a freak for being in space my whole life but I never wanted to be anywhere else. That year, I knew I needed to be on Earth for a while. I needed to finish my education so I could stay afloat up here.”
Jensen looked at the ship’s ceiling. “I can see why you ran with her.”
“I would have left her. I should have. Too many memories.”
“It was just a year.”
“My father died on this ship.”
“Jared-”
“Don’t. Don’t say anything. You didn’t know him and you aren’t really sorry and as much as I hated that he died here, it was what he wanted. He was a good man and he died protecting someone special to me. He wanted to die in space and he did. My memories make this special. I shouldn’t have taken her because nothing I have will do anything but diminish that.”
Jared walked out before Jensen could say anything. There was nothing to say. His father had died when the ship had been attacked by raiders looking for one of the passengers that had come aboard the Emissary at their last post. The boy Jared had fallen in love with, Kel, had gone later that week while Jared was still in the medical bay. He’d never gotten to say good-bye. Jared spent half his life looking for Kel and he’d never found him. Never could because Kel wasn’t his real name. Jared liked to believe that he’d lied for a reason but he didn’t think he’d ever find out the truth now.
Jared ran through the ship and he didn’t care if Jensen saw him. He needed to get away from the pain in his chest. He needed to remember who he was and why he sailed space the way he did. He ran until he found himself under the kitchen cabinets. He didn’t really fit in there anymore, but with his legs sticking out, he could lie down underneath and pretend. He closed his eyes and he could hear the cooks going about their work. He could almost taste the sweet chocolate Kel gave him, followed by the first soft press of orange-flavored lips.
***
Jensen stared into the space that Jared had left and couldn’t help but move towards the door to see the man running away from him. Jensen had spent most of his life running. He understood why Jared did it. He just wished Jared understood.
Jensen had no idea they’d found the Emissary. He’d looked for it when he came of age but he had a sneaking suspicion that the purchase had been hushed just so he wouldn’t know about it. It was something his father would have done and he had the wealth to make it happen.
Jensen’s hands shook. His legs felt like jelly and his lungs burned in his chest. He’d been told it would happen. He’d been told so many years ago that he’d begun to doubt. Everyone that knew had begun to doubt.
Jensen had always been different from the other Advys. He’d never been fearful like them, never wanted to hide away from the world. The one time his family had traveled in a space ship had given him a taste for exploration and he’d never outgrown it. One time and his whole life’s course had changed.
He knew why now. He’d known for a while but now he had the confirmation. He’d love to say that he’d never wanted this, but he had. At a very young age he had, and he’d taken it without any concern or understanding of the consequences.
Jared didn’t know and Jensen didn’t know how to tell him. The ache filled him too completely to ignore though and Jensen knew that this openness between them, this sudden ability to speak, was the moment he had to tell the truth. Jared deserved to know why Jensen hated him so much.
It was because he loved him in equal measure.
He walked through the ship, familiar now that he had a name for the place. He ran his fingers along the walls and remembered the crowd of people that had once populated it. The crew had been large but not because the ship needed that much maintenance. A handful of people could run the ship on their own. They’d been there for the fighter pilots though and the diplomatic community. They’d been there for the scientists and the explorers. They could probably run it with two men, if they knew her well enough.
He walked through the kitchen and laid down on the floor next to the cabinet where Jared was lying. The other man stilled but he didn’t say anything as Jensen stared up at the ceiling.
It was almost like being a child again.
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box. It was dented and the paint was in poor shape but it’d held up well over the years. Jensen had treated it like the treasure it was, even if it was worth less than the candy inside it.
He turned over to face Jared and he let his eyes trail over the startled face of the other captain. When he opened the tin box and pulled a small chocolate out his hands were shaking so hard he nearly dropped it. He let out a deep breath before he took the candy and placed it against Jared’s lips.
“You used to love these.”
Jared took the chocolate but he didn’t move otherwise. Jensen wanted to look away but he couldn’t. No more than he could have turned away from the seven-year-old boy who’d found him, lost and scared in the tunnels under the deck.
“I spent my life terrified I’d see you again,” Jensen said quietly. “When you sat down in front of me in Astronomy I didn’t know it was you. I thought … I thought you were trying to upset me on purpose. I thought you knew what I was and that you were trying to send me running back to the guards that everyone told me to stay behind.”
“I didn’t know.” Jared said in a quiet, clipped voice.
“I know, but I didn’t then. It didn’t take much longer than our first class to realize who you were though and I was so ashamed and angry that you’d try to run me off when you had to remember who I was.”
“I didn’t-” Jared sat up quickly and bashed his head into the cabinet. “Damn it!”
Jensen reached out to touch his forehead without thought. “Hold still,” he said as Jared tried to pull away. Jensen concentrated on the wound, just a small bruise that was developing, but he couldn’t stop himself from running the pad of his thumb over it. He felt the pain behind it and took a deep breath before he made the pain stop. He continued to trace over the spot until no signs of injury remained.
When he let go, Jared stared at him. “What did you do?”
Jensen didn’t look away. It was now. If there was ever going to be a time, it was now. “Advys don’t stay away from humans because they have to be protected,” Jensen said softly. There was almost a peace between them at the moment and he was all too afraid he’d break it with his words. Now, more than ever in his life, he just wanted peace with Jared.
“We keep separated because Advys make a connection to some humans. It’s a bond that can’t be broken. It doesn’t matter if either party wants it or not. When it happens it is irreversible. We only bond to humans so most of my kind doesn’t venture out.”
“Why is this bond so bad?”
“The bond … it’s not bad. It’s overwhelming at times. Most of my kind fear what that would be like, to have someone else in your head. To be able to feel what that person feels. To know when they’re injured.” He looked down because he couldn’t say the last while he looked at Jared. “To be able to sooth them or heal them with their touch.”
“What did you do to me, Jensen?”
“I never wanted to be one of those that looked to the stars and waited for their bondmate to come back. I refused to be planet side and mooning away over you. I tried to find the Emissary when I was old enough but it was already decommissioned and I couldn’t find out anything about the former crew. Do you know how many Jareds there are in the universe? I gave up looking! I couldn’t find you and … you never knew what I did,” he finished with a whisper.
His heart was on fire in his chest and he wanted to scream but he couldn’t move. It was the block again. Jared was there and hurt and he needed Jensen and Jensen was unable to move away, unable to do anything that wasn’t helping Jared.
He knew every time Jared had been seriously injured because he’d been caught by that block each time. Two years ago, Jensen had gone into a coma over it.
“You said your name was Kel.”
“I wasn’t allowed to give my real name to anyone. The raiders that attacked, they were looking for me. I’m sorry Jared. I did know your father and he died because of me. I sat by your bed for three days and I never got to tell you how sorry I was. When you began to wake I was able to leave you and my father got us off the ship as soon as he could.”
Jared seemed to finally take it all in because he let out a shuddered breath. Jensen wasn’t sure if it was a good or bad thing but the pain in his chest never went away. It was a crushing ache that made him want to cry out but he couldn’t. It wasn’t his pain.
“You’re my Kel?”
Jensen nodded and there were tears in his eyes as he did.
“And you thought I knew. You thought… you thought I was punishing you for what happened all those years ago?”
Jensen just nodded again.
“By the stars, you are so fucking stupid Ackles.”
Before he could answer that, Jared grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him closer. He crashed their lips together and when Jensen gasped, Jared slid his tongue into his mouth. Jensen didn’t try to fight his instincts this time. He wrapped his arms around Jared and held him closer as he responded to the kiss.
When Jared pulled back it was to rest his forehead against Jensen’s. “Damn you Jensen, why the hell didn’t you tell me? All this time I’ve been looking for you, wondering if I’d just imagined it all.”
“Imagined what, Jared?”
Jared looked at him and it took his breath away. The look was honest and open and so full of concern and love that he wasn’t sure he would ever breathe again.
“That you loved me.”
“I was eleven and I knew then that no one would ever care for me like you would, this little runt of a kid with a sugar addiction and dirty hands. My father had been talking about getting off the ship and I knew I couldn’t leave you. The next day, we came down here and the kitchen was making cookies. We stole warm cookies and you had melted chocolate on your hands and face. And I leaned over and kissed your lips and told you it was the only way to get the chocolate off.”
“My first kiss,” Jared said with a small grin.
“My bond.”
“Jensen-”
Jensen shook slightly. “Please, don’t call me that.”
“Kel.”
“Yes,” Jensen answered with a nod. “I never wanted to leave you but when the raiders attacked my father was afraid they’d come again. Our identities had been compromised.”
“But you said you stayed.”
“The bond does certain things to Advys. It’s why most don’t want to bond.” Jensen reached out then, letting his fingers run lightly over Jared’s cheek. “I wake every morning facing you, no matter where you are. I feel an ache to be closer to you when you’re far away. When you were sick, back then when you were in the medical bay, I wasn’t capable of leaving you. We call it being blocked. You can’t move a certain way or do a specific thing because of the bond. I couldn’t leave you when my healing could help you. I was too young to be able to do much back then though.”
“Two years ago?”
“You almost died.”
“I did die. My heart stopped for ten minutes. I was declared dead. Then my heart just started again.”
“I know.”
“What happened to you then?”
“Jared, please don’t-”
“Kel, what happened to you then?”
It was completely unfair of Jared to say his long-lost name like that but then Jensen knew he was a bastard. “I was in a coma. You did die and I was able to heal you quickly enough to bring you back.”
“I was right, you are an idiot.”
“It’s not like it’s a conscious choice.”
“You’d have done it though, wouldn’t you? Even if you could have said no?”
“You could have left me here, for the Angels, but you didn’t.”
Jared sighed. “Well we already know I’m an idiot.”
It felt safer suddenly. They were bickering and though it was far more teasing than hurtful as their usual interactions were, Jensen felt more at home suddenly.
“I think … the Emissary could probably be a nice place to call home.”
Jared looked surprised by the words but he shifted then and pulled Jensen into his lap. Jensen wasn’t a small man but Jared was so strong. “You think so?”
“I have fond memories of this ship as well. I’ve never felt as at home anywhere as I did here.”
Jared nodded. “Me too.”
“What do you say, Jared? Do you think we can manage this? Work here on the ship together?”
“It would save us from our first argument.”
“What argument is that?”
“The question of who the cargo belongs too.”
Jensen laughed at the sudden change of topic and he didn’t stop his impulse to wrap his arms around Jared’s neck and bury his head there. He wanted to smell and touch and taste and for the first time in his life he didn’t have to hide that need.
“I think we can come up with some sort of agreement.”
Jared pushed him back for a second and searched Jensen’s face. “Do I need to worry about you?” he asked. “They came once and took you from me. I don’t think I could lose you now, not knowing what I do.”
“The raiders were looking to kidnap me to force my father’s hand. It’s been a long time since anyone was so foolish as to think I was easy prey.”
“Who is your father?”
“Oh, um. The Speaker of the Council.”
Jared’s mouth dropped open before he spoke. “The head of the Advy government is your father?”
“Yes, he is.”
“I … this is a lot to take in.”
“I know. I’m sorry Jared. I thought you understood. All that time, I thought you knew.”
“I just knew I couldn’t stop being around you. I wanted to do anything to get your attention.”
“You always had it.”
“And what do I have now?” Jared asked as he brushed his lips lightly over Jensen’s.
“My everything,” Jensen answered as he pressed Jared down onto the floor of the kitchen and leaned over him. He kissed him then, hungry and demanding. Jared responded by wrapping Jensen in his arms and holding him tighter.
“Now,” Jensen said as he leaned back onto his haunches to look at Jared. “About my cargo…”
Author: hunters_retreat
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Theirs was a rivalry long established and -when Jared was being honest with himself - much anticipated.
Author's Note: Written for My trope Bingo Card. This was my rival to lovers square.
"This is all your star-blasted fault!"
Jared ducked under another blast from the laser gun and pushed the other man down low to the ground.
"How the hell is this my fault?" Jensen demanded as he turned to glare at Jared. He pushed Jared off him and raised his weapon to fire three quick rounds before ducking back behind the metal cabinet. "I was doing just fine until you showed up."
"You were stealing my cargo."
"Put your money where your mouth is. That find was unpaid for when I showed and they were ready to sell. Next time you might want to high tail it over instead of thinking a pretty smile over the comm is gonna be enough to hold onto cargo like this."
Jared refused to rise to the other man's bait. Their rivalry had been decades in the making, beginning back in their academy days when Jared had taken Jensen’s prime seat in astronomy and had continued on through their enlistment and eventually into their buccaneering days. Theirs was a rivalry long established and -when Jared was being honest with himself - much anticipated. No one got under his skin the way Jensen did. From Jensen’s reputation as an uber-professional he knew it was the same for the other man because whatever professionalism Jensen had seemed to dissolve as soon as Jared walked in the room.
“I was on my way and when I say I’m going to come for something I always do. Not that you’d appreciate that sort of commitment.”
The cabinet they were crouched behind grew warm and Jared barely had time to shout before it exploded between them. Jensen was thrown and Jared watched him hit his head hard against the wall. The cabinet pushed Jared back but he’d managed to brace himself just before impact.
The room was ringing and Jared couldn’t hear anything but that sound. When he looked across the room he saw the emergency field had come up, covering a hole in the ship’s hull. Whatever the Angel gang had been doing seemed to have backfired and taken out the wall behind them.
Jared could see the three men snarling at them from outside the ship. Too bad they weren’t human or they’d be dead already and Jared would have one less enemy to worry about. As it was, he needed to get the cargo and high tail it to the ship before the Angels found their way back inside the ship.
Jared looked over at his rival and swore to himself. “You had to get yourself knocked out, didn’t you?” Blood flowed freely from a gash on Jensen’s head but it didn’t look life threatening. He hoped not anyway because Jared had to figure this out before he could move the other man.
The Angel gang wouldn’t let Jensen live if Jared took off with the cargo and Jared couldn’t leave him to that fate. They’d take their time with someone like Jensen. He was too pretty not to take advantage of and he was too much a pain in the ass for them to let him go. Jared didn’t have time to tow the other man’s ship away before the Angel gang got back inside though.
As much as he hated it, he knew what he was gonna have to do.
“Damn you Ackles,” Jared said as he lifted the man off the floor and made his way towards sick bay. “I don’t need this headache.”
Ackles wasn’t a lightweight and Jared was more than happy to drop him off in a med-bed and let the automatic scanners do their thing. As soon as he watched them get started - Stars but he hoped they managed to clean that head wound up without a scar - he headed towards the bridge.
It was an older ship but Jared had grown up jumping from one ship to the next. He knew how to fly anything and what he didn’t know by experience he was able to divine but instinct. He thought that was probably why Ackles had decided to hate him on first sight but Jared would probably never know the real reason. He refused to look into his own head to wonder why Jensen’s hate was such a source of amusement for him.
Jared got to the bridge and flipped on the monitor so he could keep track of the Angel’s movements. Their own ship was in docking bay 6 and Jared opened the door to it and used the manual override to eject the ship from the bay. He watched with a satisfying smirk as the floor fell out from under the ship. It was on the other side of the Angels. They’d be able to get it back but it would be floating a while before they’d get to it. Wings or no, they didn’t work so well without a gravitational force to push against. They’d doggie paddle their way to it eventually but Jared would be long gone by then.
When Jared started to move the ship he made sure the Angel gang got a good view of their ship trailing off and he laughed at their startled faces. He didn’t know their real names but the one that went by Lucifer stared into the camera and Jared could feel the hate. It didn’t give him the same warm glow that Jensen’s hate did but Jared called it a win all the same when the other two, Uriel and Zachariah, began trying to catch up with their beloved vessel, Humanity.
As soon as the three were floating away from the ship, Jared set in new coordinates and they set off again. His ship and Jensen’s were still in the docking bays and so long as there were no more incidents they would get free of this without more injuries. At least until Jensen woke because there was sure to be trouble then.
***
Jensen woke with a massive headache and an aching need to be headed west. He turned his head in that direction and let out a deep breath. Through the doors of the infirmary he could see Jared Padalecki watching him.
Of all the people in the universe that he could have been stuck in a fire fight with, it had to be Jared. He’d much rather have been shooting at Jared and if Jensen could just find a way to kill the bastard he would, only he had this stupid psychic block and he couldn’t actually kill Jared. Sometimes it sucked being one of the Advanced.
Jensen had always considered himself lucky to be an Advy. Growing up he’d had the best schools and the most conscientious of care. Everyone had respected him and given him his space. They understood and it gave Jensen the ability to become the person he needed to be.
And then Jared Padalecki had taken his life, stole his seat, and eaten his soul.
Well, not literally but some days Jensen felt like he had.
The door of the infirmary opened and Jensen looked up at Jared. “What do you want?”
“A thank you would do. I did just save your life.”
“You tried to steal my cargo, delayed my departure, and then claim hero status when the thugs that came to steal my cargo tried to kill us? I would have been long gone if you hadn’t shown up.”
“It was my cargo and you would have been dead if I hadn’t shown up. They were casing the place when I arrived. There is no way the Angels just happened to show up after we were both on board. They were watching.”
“They’re always watching,” Jensen sighed. He hadn’t meant to say anything but the Angels were always watching the Advy. As a child Jensen had been told they watched over them to make sure the rest of humanity left them alone to develop as they were supposed to but Jensen knew better now. The Angels were just as selfish and self-serving as everyone else. They watched the Advy to see what they could take from them.
“I got rid of them, by the way. They knocked out the back wall when they blasted the cabinet and took a swim in space.”
“My ship?”
“Still in the docking bay. You’re in the infirmary of the Black Star. I just took the ship and ran.”
“What are you going to do with an old battle cruiser?”
“No idea, but it was take the Black Star or leave you and your ship to the Angels. So this would be where you say -”
“Alright. Thank you. Stars, my head is killing me.”
“Yeah, you took a nasty bump,” Jared said as he walked closer. He took Jensen’s chin in his hand and tilted the other man’s head up. Jensen tried to pull away but Jared wouldn’t let him. Instead he closed his eyes so he didn’t need to look too closely at the other man.
“I’m fine.”
“At least it didn’t scar. I was afraid it would.”
“You worried about my pretty face?” Jensen snarled.
Jared’s fingers were light against his skin as they caressed where the injury had been. At least the medical bay had been well equipped. Jensen wanted to pull away but there was that damn block again, keeping him in place. He couldn’t pull away from Jared’s touch.
“I was worried about you.”
“Then stop touching me.”
“What?”
“Didn’t you ever learn not to touch an Advy?” Jensen demanded as he finally opened his eyes.
Jared’s hand dropped immediately and he backed up half way across the room before he finally spoke. “An Advy?”
Jensen saw the actual confusion on Jared’s face and he understood then. “You didn’t know?”
“How could I know?”
“You were in class with me. They sent information out to everyone two weeks before class started so they’d know not to get too close to me.”
“I wasn’t enrolled in the class. I never got any information about you.”
“Why were you there if you weren’t enrolled?”
“I uh …” Jared looked down at his feet and Jensen could see a blush creep up his neck. “I tested out of the class but there was a lot of information I didn’t know. Professor Morgan was my advisor and he knew how I got into the academy. He suggested I sit in on the class to learn the theory behind my insight.”
“You’re the one,” Jensen said quietly. There was too much awe in his voice but Jensen knew exactly who Jared was then. It had never occurred to him that he might have taken classes with the kid everyone on campus was talking about. The one who hadn’t had a bit of schooling but who’d passed every practical test thrown at him. Jensen had Morgan as an advisor as well and he’d mentioned the other student in passing. He’d wanted Jensen to help the kid out with theory. It had been an interesting idea, working with someone who’d never been planet side before, but Jensen’s curiosity made him speak up in concern. Curiosity wasn’t good for Jensen. Not then. Not now either but his curiosity wasn’t likely to make his current situation any worse.
“Yeah, that was me. I uh … I’m sorry. I didn’t know. About you.”
“I got that, but thanks. Just give me a little space.”
Jared nodded as he stepped back towards the door. “I’ll just … yeah. I’ll go. I’m glad that you’re okay though.”
“Jared?”
“Yeah?”
“That cargo is still mine.”
Jared looked up at him then, his eyes meeting Jensen’s for the first time since he found out he was an Advy. “Really? Guess we’ll have to see about that.”
He slipped out the door and Jensen yelled after him, “Jared!”
The man didn’t stop but Jensen knew he was heading towards the bridge. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Jared hadn’t known. All this time Jensen thought Jared had done it on purpose. Jared really hadn’t known.
That changed nothing though.
Except, it really changed everything.
***
Jared stared out past the console and tried to keep his attention focused on the task at hand. He failed miserably. As much as he wanted to figure out this mess with the battle cruiser he couldn’t concentrate.
An Advy. Jensen fucking Ackles was an Advy.
In all the years they’d fought, he never knew. He didn’t know if he’d have changed if he had. That wasn’t true though. Everything would have changed if he had. He would never have sat close to Jensen in that class. He would never have been so disrespectful of an Advy had he known.
Morgan had never said anything. He knew Jared had class with Jensen but he’d never said anything except to suggest once that he might study with an Advy. He’d been fascinated by the idea. He’d never met an Advy. They were rare and most kept to secluded places. Jared had never even seen an Advy without an armed escort but Jensen had been in class by himself. He’d been traveling the universe for the last ten years, fighting with Jared for most of it, and Jared had never once seen anyone helping Jensen. No platoon of soldiers. Not a single bodyguard.
How the hell does an Advy get out into space without protection?
And there was an even bigger question. Why the hell did they need it?
No one ever talked about why Advys needed the space they did or why they didn’t go out in public alone. It wasn’t just that polite company didn’t talk about it either. No one knew unless they were an Advy. So why was Jensen able to get around and the others weren’t? What made Ackles different from all the rest?
Jared had a long list of things that were different about Jensen, from his infamous stubborn streak to those green eyes that sparked like fire in the right light, but this was something else.
“Stop thinking so hard. You’re making my head ache.”
Jared looked up to find Jensen staring down at him, a firm frown in place. “What?”
“I could almost hear you thinking from the medical bay. You figure out what to do with this thing yet?”
Jensen took the seat across from Jared and he wasn’t sure what to make of it. Jensen looked like he felt better.
“I’m not any more likely to bite now than I was before,” Jensen said when Jared just stared at him.
He shook his head and looked back to the console. “I’ve got no idea. The captain was a loner and there’s no one to take it back to. It’s just space junk. I don’t actually need a battle cruiser though. I don’t have the man power to keep her running on my own and I wouldn’t want to hire a crew. Too bad. It’d be a good transport,” he said as he ran a hand over the console. “I spent a year on her when I was younger.”
“Really?”
Jared nodded. “Before it was decommissioned. It was one of the last of the Explorer fleet. The navy sold her ten years back. They renamed her the Black Star when she was bought but I know her better than that. She used to be named the Emissary.”
“This is the Emissary?”
Jared nodded as he looked over at Jensen. The name meant something to him as well but Jared didn’t know what.
“You used to work on the Emissary?” Jensen prompted.
Jared nodded again. “My dad was stationed here before she was decommissioned. I spent the best year of my life here.”
“Really?”
Jared wasn’t sure why he was talking about it but Jensen was actually being civil and as much as Jared hated the guy sometimes, he generally liked people to like him. Maybe this was the start of something else.
“I was just a kid, wandering around the ship. No one paid me much attention. I wasn’t supposed to be here but Dad worked something out with the ship’s captain. So long as I kept up with my studies they let me do what I wanted. Not all the crews we shipped out with were so great about it but the men and women of the Emissary were amazing. They showed me everything, from how to scrub the deck to how to keep the engines running smooth. It’s where I fell in love.”
“Love?”
Jared smiled and closed his eyes as he remembered. “Loved everything about this ship. I loved the tunnels that ran under the decks.” He remembered a hand being held out to him and green eyes smiling back at him. Grease smudged under his nose and across his chin but the boy was as adventurous as Jared and not afraid to get dirty even though he was supposed to stay in his cabin.
“I loved the smell the kitchens had after we stopped off at a supply run and the kitchen was filled to the brim with food and people moving to preserve it all.” He remembered hiding under the overstock cabinet and sharing slices of orange and apple. The other boy always had sweets in his pocket and after their pilfered treats they’d share whatever he’d brought.
“I loved the sound of ships docking in the bay.” He remembered the first time he saw the other boy, a few years older than Jared but so sheltered. He’d never been in space before. He was supposed to stay locked away in his room but he always escaped and somehow he never got caught. Jared, on the other hand, got caught all the time but his father was lenient and they shared a love of space that Jared had never gotten over.
“Why did you go planet side then?”
Jared sighed. Jensen’s face was closed off again as he asked. “Not sure. It felt like it was time. I know everyone thought I was a freak for being in space my whole life but I never wanted to be anywhere else. That year, I knew I needed to be on Earth for a while. I needed to finish my education so I could stay afloat up here.”
Jensen looked at the ship’s ceiling. “I can see why you ran with her.”
“I would have left her. I should have. Too many memories.”
“It was just a year.”
“My father died on this ship.”
“Jared-”
“Don’t. Don’t say anything. You didn’t know him and you aren’t really sorry and as much as I hated that he died here, it was what he wanted. He was a good man and he died protecting someone special to me. He wanted to die in space and he did. My memories make this special. I shouldn’t have taken her because nothing I have will do anything but diminish that.”
Jared walked out before Jensen could say anything. There was nothing to say. His father had died when the ship had been attacked by raiders looking for one of the passengers that had come aboard the Emissary at their last post. The boy Jared had fallen in love with, Kel, had gone later that week while Jared was still in the medical bay. He’d never gotten to say good-bye. Jared spent half his life looking for Kel and he’d never found him. Never could because Kel wasn’t his real name. Jared liked to believe that he’d lied for a reason but he didn’t think he’d ever find out the truth now.
Jared ran through the ship and he didn’t care if Jensen saw him. He needed to get away from the pain in his chest. He needed to remember who he was and why he sailed space the way he did. He ran until he found himself under the kitchen cabinets. He didn’t really fit in there anymore, but with his legs sticking out, he could lie down underneath and pretend. He closed his eyes and he could hear the cooks going about their work. He could almost taste the sweet chocolate Kel gave him, followed by the first soft press of orange-flavored lips.
***
Jensen stared into the space that Jared had left and couldn’t help but move towards the door to see the man running away from him. Jensen had spent most of his life running. He understood why Jared did it. He just wished Jared understood.
Jensen had no idea they’d found the Emissary. He’d looked for it when he came of age but he had a sneaking suspicion that the purchase had been hushed just so he wouldn’t know about it. It was something his father would have done and he had the wealth to make it happen.
Jensen’s hands shook. His legs felt like jelly and his lungs burned in his chest. He’d been told it would happen. He’d been told so many years ago that he’d begun to doubt. Everyone that knew had begun to doubt.
Jensen had always been different from the other Advys. He’d never been fearful like them, never wanted to hide away from the world. The one time his family had traveled in a space ship had given him a taste for exploration and he’d never outgrown it. One time and his whole life’s course had changed.
He knew why now. He’d known for a while but now he had the confirmation. He’d love to say that he’d never wanted this, but he had. At a very young age he had, and he’d taken it without any concern or understanding of the consequences.
Jared didn’t know and Jensen didn’t know how to tell him. The ache filled him too completely to ignore though and Jensen knew that this openness between them, this sudden ability to speak, was the moment he had to tell the truth. Jared deserved to know why Jensen hated him so much.
It was because he loved him in equal measure.
He walked through the ship, familiar now that he had a name for the place. He ran his fingers along the walls and remembered the crowd of people that had once populated it. The crew had been large but not because the ship needed that much maintenance. A handful of people could run the ship on their own. They’d been there for the fighter pilots though and the diplomatic community. They’d been there for the scientists and the explorers. They could probably run it with two men, if they knew her well enough.
He walked through the kitchen and laid down on the floor next to the cabinet where Jared was lying. The other man stilled but he didn’t say anything as Jensen stared up at the ceiling.
It was almost like being a child again.
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box. It was dented and the paint was in poor shape but it’d held up well over the years. Jensen had treated it like the treasure it was, even if it was worth less than the candy inside it.
He turned over to face Jared and he let his eyes trail over the startled face of the other captain. When he opened the tin box and pulled a small chocolate out his hands were shaking so hard he nearly dropped it. He let out a deep breath before he took the candy and placed it against Jared’s lips.
“You used to love these.”
Jared took the chocolate but he didn’t move otherwise. Jensen wanted to look away but he couldn’t. No more than he could have turned away from the seven-year-old boy who’d found him, lost and scared in the tunnels under the deck.
“I spent my life terrified I’d see you again,” Jensen said quietly. “When you sat down in front of me in Astronomy I didn’t know it was you. I thought … I thought you were trying to upset me on purpose. I thought you knew what I was and that you were trying to send me running back to the guards that everyone told me to stay behind.”
“I didn’t know.” Jared said in a quiet, clipped voice.
“I know, but I didn’t then. It didn’t take much longer than our first class to realize who you were though and I was so ashamed and angry that you’d try to run me off when you had to remember who I was.”
“I didn’t-” Jared sat up quickly and bashed his head into the cabinet. “Damn it!”
Jensen reached out to touch his forehead without thought. “Hold still,” he said as Jared tried to pull away. Jensen concentrated on the wound, just a small bruise that was developing, but he couldn’t stop himself from running the pad of his thumb over it. He felt the pain behind it and took a deep breath before he made the pain stop. He continued to trace over the spot until no signs of injury remained.
When he let go, Jared stared at him. “What did you do?”
Jensen didn’t look away. It was now. If there was ever going to be a time, it was now. “Advys don’t stay away from humans because they have to be protected,” Jensen said softly. There was almost a peace between them at the moment and he was all too afraid he’d break it with his words. Now, more than ever in his life, he just wanted peace with Jared.
“We keep separated because Advys make a connection to some humans. It’s a bond that can’t be broken. It doesn’t matter if either party wants it or not. When it happens it is irreversible. We only bond to humans so most of my kind doesn’t venture out.”
“Why is this bond so bad?”
“The bond … it’s not bad. It’s overwhelming at times. Most of my kind fear what that would be like, to have someone else in your head. To be able to feel what that person feels. To know when they’re injured.” He looked down because he couldn’t say the last while he looked at Jared. “To be able to sooth them or heal them with their touch.”
“What did you do to me, Jensen?”
“I never wanted to be one of those that looked to the stars and waited for their bondmate to come back. I refused to be planet side and mooning away over you. I tried to find the Emissary when I was old enough but it was already decommissioned and I couldn’t find out anything about the former crew. Do you know how many Jareds there are in the universe? I gave up looking! I couldn’t find you and … you never knew what I did,” he finished with a whisper.
His heart was on fire in his chest and he wanted to scream but he couldn’t move. It was the block again. Jared was there and hurt and he needed Jensen and Jensen was unable to move away, unable to do anything that wasn’t helping Jared.
He knew every time Jared had been seriously injured because he’d been caught by that block each time. Two years ago, Jensen had gone into a coma over it.
“You said your name was Kel.”
“I wasn’t allowed to give my real name to anyone. The raiders that attacked, they were looking for me. I’m sorry Jared. I did know your father and he died because of me. I sat by your bed for three days and I never got to tell you how sorry I was. When you began to wake I was able to leave you and my father got us off the ship as soon as he could.”
Jared seemed to finally take it all in because he let out a shuddered breath. Jensen wasn’t sure if it was a good or bad thing but the pain in his chest never went away. It was a crushing ache that made him want to cry out but he couldn’t. It wasn’t his pain.
“You’re my Kel?”
Jensen nodded and there were tears in his eyes as he did.
“And you thought I knew. You thought… you thought I was punishing you for what happened all those years ago?”
Jensen just nodded again.
“By the stars, you are so fucking stupid Ackles.”
Before he could answer that, Jared grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him closer. He crashed their lips together and when Jensen gasped, Jared slid his tongue into his mouth. Jensen didn’t try to fight his instincts this time. He wrapped his arms around Jared and held him closer as he responded to the kiss.
When Jared pulled back it was to rest his forehead against Jensen’s. “Damn you Jensen, why the hell didn’t you tell me? All this time I’ve been looking for you, wondering if I’d just imagined it all.”
“Imagined what, Jared?”
Jared looked at him and it took his breath away. The look was honest and open and so full of concern and love that he wasn’t sure he would ever breathe again.
“That you loved me.”
“I was eleven and I knew then that no one would ever care for me like you would, this little runt of a kid with a sugar addiction and dirty hands. My father had been talking about getting off the ship and I knew I couldn’t leave you. The next day, we came down here and the kitchen was making cookies. We stole warm cookies and you had melted chocolate on your hands and face. And I leaned over and kissed your lips and told you it was the only way to get the chocolate off.”
“My first kiss,” Jared said with a small grin.
“My bond.”
“Jensen-”
Jensen shook slightly. “Please, don’t call me that.”
“Kel.”
“Yes,” Jensen answered with a nod. “I never wanted to leave you but when the raiders attacked my father was afraid they’d come again. Our identities had been compromised.”
“But you said you stayed.”
“The bond does certain things to Advys. It’s why most don’t want to bond.” Jensen reached out then, letting his fingers run lightly over Jared’s cheek. “I wake every morning facing you, no matter where you are. I feel an ache to be closer to you when you’re far away. When you were sick, back then when you were in the medical bay, I wasn’t capable of leaving you. We call it being blocked. You can’t move a certain way or do a specific thing because of the bond. I couldn’t leave you when my healing could help you. I was too young to be able to do much back then though.”
“Two years ago?”
“You almost died.”
“I did die. My heart stopped for ten minutes. I was declared dead. Then my heart just started again.”
“I know.”
“What happened to you then?”
“Jared, please don’t-”
“Kel, what happened to you then?”
It was completely unfair of Jared to say his long-lost name like that but then Jensen knew he was a bastard. “I was in a coma. You did die and I was able to heal you quickly enough to bring you back.”
“I was right, you are an idiot.”
“It’s not like it’s a conscious choice.”
“You’d have done it though, wouldn’t you? Even if you could have said no?”
“You could have left me here, for the Angels, but you didn’t.”
Jared sighed. “Well we already know I’m an idiot.”
It felt safer suddenly. They were bickering and though it was far more teasing than hurtful as their usual interactions were, Jensen felt more at home suddenly.
“I think … the Emissary could probably be a nice place to call home.”
Jared looked surprised by the words but he shifted then and pulled Jensen into his lap. Jensen wasn’t a small man but Jared was so strong. “You think so?”
“I have fond memories of this ship as well. I’ve never felt as at home anywhere as I did here.”
Jared nodded. “Me too.”
“What do you say, Jared? Do you think we can manage this? Work here on the ship together?”
“It would save us from our first argument.”
“What argument is that?”
“The question of who the cargo belongs too.”
Jensen laughed at the sudden change of topic and he didn’t stop his impulse to wrap his arms around Jared’s neck and bury his head there. He wanted to smell and touch and taste and for the first time in his life he didn’t have to hide that need.
“I think we can come up with some sort of agreement.”
Jared pushed him back for a second and searched Jensen’s face. “Do I need to worry about you?” he asked. “They came once and took you from me. I don’t think I could lose you now, not knowing what I do.”
“The raiders were looking to kidnap me to force my father’s hand. It’s been a long time since anyone was so foolish as to think I was easy prey.”
“Who is your father?”
“Oh, um. The Speaker of the Council.”
Jared’s mouth dropped open before he spoke. “The head of the Advy government is your father?”
“Yes, he is.”
“I … this is a lot to take in.”
“I know. I’m sorry Jared. I thought you understood. All that time, I thought you knew.”
“I just knew I couldn’t stop being around you. I wanted to do anything to get your attention.”
“You always had it.”
“And what do I have now?” Jared asked as he brushed his lips lightly over Jensen’s.
“My everything,” Jensen answered as he pressed Jared down onto the floor of the kitchen and leaned over him. He kissed him then, hungry and demanding. Jared responded by wrapping Jensen in his arms and holding him tighter.
“Now,” Jensen said as he leaned back onto his haunches to look at Jared. “About my cargo…”