With Me
With Me
The door was open, as it usually was. Jared was still adjusting to it, to the idea that Jensen wanted him around like that, but after two months as lovers it was a good sort of adjustment. On the nights when Jared needed to close the door and remind himself that he still had a place of his own, Jensen didn’t try to push in or try to get him out. He just gave him room. If Jared didn’t already know about Jensen’s temper, he might be tempted to think the man was perfect. Even with it, Jared thought he damn near was.
Jared took a deep breath as he left his apartment and stepped into the hallway that led into the main house. He didn’t know what Michael’s family had been like that Jensen had a house with an In-Law suite for them, but it definitely had advantages for Jared. He walked in, stopping at Alec’s room to see if the little boy was in there. He wasn’t, but Jared wasn’t surprised about that. It was a quarter to eight; almost bed time so he was probably in the den with Jensen.
He walked out of the room and was about to head that way until he heard Jensen’s voice. He turned back, going to the door of Jensen’s bedroom. The door was slightly ajar, just enough that Jared could see Alec sitting in Jensen’s bed, his hands clutching a white booklet that Jensen had made for him.
Jared had to shake his head at that. Alec would spend hours drawing and Jensen had come up with the idea of making little books for him. He took plain white paper, cut it in half, and stapled it together like a book, and Alec was crazy about them. The look in Jensen’s eyes when Alec had run clutching the first book to his chest to get to his crayons had been amazing. Nothing but love and adoration and pride at his own ability to do something for his son, and Jared had barely been able to keep from kissing the man senseless over it. That hadn’t lasted long when Jensen had turned to him, eyes still lit with love for his boy and saw the same reflected in Jared’s. He’d wrapped himself around Jared for a few minutes, the two of them breathing each other in, sharing the moment before Alec came running back in with his box of crayons.
Alec was already in his pajamas tonight, not the thread worn shark pajamas thankfully that were currently being hidden all over the house to try to deter the boy from wearing them. Tonight he was wearing his fire truck pajamas, his second favorite and the only appropriate substitute for the shark pajamas. He had his legs tucked under Jensen’s blanket and was watching as Jensen moved to the bed, dressed in old worn jeans and a soft green tee shirt. Jared’s fingers ached to touch, to walk in and lean against Jensen’s back, to slide his hands around his waist and pull the other man against him, but he settled against the wall, watching father and son.
“Whatcha doing there sport?” Jensen asked as he sat at the edge of the bed.
“I have a book.” The little boy said, showing it to Jensen.
“Wow, looks like you spent a lot of time drawing that.”
“It’s a book.” Alec said again, and then pointed to the first page. “Animals in the Water.”
Jared knew the words, knew the tone of voice that was straight from a Baby Einstein movie but he’d never seen Alec responding like that before.
The little boy turned the page and pointed again. “Animals in the ocean,” He looked up at Jensen then back to where his finger indicated different animals. “Look, it’s a fish and a whale and a shark,” He finished the last with a bite of his teeth.
“I see the shark,” Jensen said as he started to turn the page. “Is there more?”
Alec turned the page for him. “Animals under water.”
Jensen nodded as he listened to Alec talking about his drawings, “It’s an otter.”
“I see the otter.”
Alec pointed to another animal. “It’s a sea turtle.”
“Yes, I see the turtle.”
“It’s a sea turtle.”
Jensen laughed lightly, kissing Alec’s head as he did it. “You’re right. It’s a sea turtle.”
“And a seahorse!”
“I love seahorses.” Jensen answered.
Jared smiled to himself as he watched Alec continue, reading the header from each page and pointing out the animals on the opposite page. Jensen listened with an amused smile the whole time and Jared knew more than once his lover had came close to losing tears over the interaction with his son. Jared wasn’t even in the room and he felt his eyes misting over a time or two.
Alec continued until the book was done, spending more time yawning on the last few pages than pointing things out. When he was done, Alec handed the book to Jensen and turned over, resting his head on his father’s pillow.
Jensen took a deep breath and sighed as his hand ran through Alec’s blond hair. “Alright, you can sleep here tonight.” He said with a small laugh. Alec didn’t move and Jared knew well enough that the little boy had probably passes out as soon as he’d turned over. They were lucky Alec was a good sleeper like that.
Jensen got up and kissed Alec lightly on the cheek before pulling the blankets up to his shoulder and placing his other pillow on Alec’s side so he wasn’t in danger of falling off the edge. Jared watched it all with a smile of his own.
When Jensen stood to walk out he stopped as his eyes caught Jared’s. His smile was brilliant and Jared didn’t think he’d ever get used to seeing that directed at him.
“Hey.” He said softly.
“Hey.” Jensen answered back as he walked out of the room, pulling the door until it was almost shut.
Jared indicated his apartment with a nod of his head and Jensen smiled back, letting Jared take the lead. They made it through the door before Jensen handed Jared the book and he flipped through the pages. On the left side of each page was a title drawing from the Baby Neptune video that Alec was currently obsessed with and on the right hand page were drawings of the different animals. He ran his fingers lightly over the images and felt Jensen looking over his shoulder as he did so.
“He’s a pretty amazing artist.” Jared said as he turned his head to look at Jensen.
“Like his Dad.”
Jared nodded because he didn’t know enough about Michael to answer that, but then Jensen was pulling away to sit on the sofa. Jared could see it wouldn’t last though so he just stood, watching. A minute later Jensen was up on his feet. “Did you see it all?”
“Saw him showing you his book.”
Jensen’s smile was laced with awe and he took the book from Jared again. “I just … even when I try to read to him, you know how hard it is to get him to sit still. To have him read me a book he made…”
Jared couldn’t help the way he smiled at Jensen, couldn’t help the feeling of pride that erupted in his heart, at Jensen’s experience and obvious understanding of the moment and for Alec’s accomplishment in making that connection with his father for those few minutes. “It was a really good idea Jensen.” He said softly, giving the man the credit he deserved. “You’re really good with him, you have good instincts with him.”
“No, Michael-“
“Didn’t make him the books. You did and you should be proud of yourself Jensen.” He said, finally letting his hand come up to cup Jensen’s chin. “You are wonderful with him.” He leaned down then and pressed a gentle kiss to Jensen’s lips.
Jensen relaxed into his touch and when they parted, Jared rested his head against Jensen’s.
“Thank you.” Jensen finally managed to say, his throat thick with emotion. Jared understood. Jensen still thought of Michael as the good father and even after almost two years, it was hard for him to think of himself that way.
“You want to frame it now, don’t you?” Jared answered as he took a step back.
Jensen laughed. “It’s a masterpiece. “
As they settled onto his couch, Jared pulled Jensen closer, letting his lover press another kiss into the skin just below his ear. “He was really with me, you know?”
“Yeah, I saw that.”
“Some days I feel like I just can’t keep going, like nothing I do or say gets through to him and none of it’s doing any good. But today? It was just one of those nights when he was with me, when I know it’s all worth it. I can’t … I can’t think of a way to thank you for your part in all that.”
Jensen was staring up at him then, the honesty and faith in him blinding. He smiled, felt his face blush slightly at the praise and shook his head. “It’s all him man, but if you really want…” he said, his hand coming up to the back of Jensen’s neck. “I’m sure I can find something that would say thank you.”
He didn’t need it, didn’t need a thank you for working with Alec when he loved the boy as much as he did, when he loved being with Alec and Jensen, but Jensen was always so good at appreciation and since they’d become lovers he had become even more so.
As Jensen laughed, pressing a more demanding kiss into his lips, Jared smiled into it. He was more than willing to take a couple thank yous along the way.
The door was open, as it usually was. Jared was still adjusting to it, to the idea that Jensen wanted him around like that, but after two months as lovers it was a good sort of adjustment. On the nights when Jared needed to close the door and remind himself that he still had a place of his own, Jensen didn’t try to push in or try to get him out. He just gave him room. If Jared didn’t already know about Jensen’s temper, he might be tempted to think the man was perfect. Even with it, Jared thought he damn near was.
Jared took a deep breath as he left his apartment and stepped into the hallway that led into the main house. He didn’t know what Michael’s family had been like that Jensen had a house with an In-Law suite for them, but it definitely had advantages for Jared. He walked in, stopping at Alec’s room to see if the little boy was in there. He wasn’t, but Jared wasn’t surprised about that. It was a quarter to eight; almost bed time so he was probably in the den with Jensen.
He walked out of the room and was about to head that way until he heard Jensen’s voice. He turned back, going to the door of Jensen’s bedroom. The door was slightly ajar, just enough that Jared could see Alec sitting in Jensen’s bed, his hands clutching a white booklet that Jensen had made for him.
Jared had to shake his head at that. Alec would spend hours drawing and Jensen had come up with the idea of making little books for him. He took plain white paper, cut it in half, and stapled it together like a book, and Alec was crazy about them. The look in Jensen’s eyes when Alec had run clutching the first book to his chest to get to his crayons had been amazing. Nothing but love and adoration and pride at his own ability to do something for his son, and Jared had barely been able to keep from kissing the man senseless over it. That hadn’t lasted long when Jensen had turned to him, eyes still lit with love for his boy and saw the same reflected in Jared’s. He’d wrapped himself around Jared for a few minutes, the two of them breathing each other in, sharing the moment before Alec came running back in with his box of crayons.
Alec was already in his pajamas tonight, not the thread worn shark pajamas thankfully that were currently being hidden all over the house to try to deter the boy from wearing them. Tonight he was wearing his fire truck pajamas, his second favorite and the only appropriate substitute for the shark pajamas. He had his legs tucked under Jensen’s blanket and was watching as Jensen moved to the bed, dressed in old worn jeans and a soft green tee shirt. Jared’s fingers ached to touch, to walk in and lean against Jensen’s back, to slide his hands around his waist and pull the other man against him, but he settled against the wall, watching father and son.
“Whatcha doing there sport?” Jensen asked as he sat at the edge of the bed.
“I have a book.” The little boy said, showing it to Jensen.
“Wow, looks like you spent a lot of time drawing that.”
“It’s a book.” Alec said again, and then pointed to the first page. “Animals in the Water.”
Jared knew the words, knew the tone of voice that was straight from a Baby Einstein movie but he’d never seen Alec responding like that before.
The little boy turned the page and pointed again. “Animals in the ocean,” He looked up at Jensen then back to where his finger indicated different animals. “Look, it’s a fish and a whale and a shark,” He finished the last with a bite of his teeth.
“I see the shark,” Jensen said as he started to turn the page. “Is there more?”
Alec turned the page for him. “Animals under water.”
Jensen nodded as he listened to Alec talking about his drawings, “It’s an otter.”
“I see the otter.”
Alec pointed to another animal. “It’s a sea turtle.”
“Yes, I see the turtle.”
“It’s a sea turtle.”
Jensen laughed lightly, kissing Alec’s head as he did it. “You’re right. It’s a sea turtle.”
“And a seahorse!”
“I love seahorses.” Jensen answered.
Jared smiled to himself as he watched Alec continue, reading the header from each page and pointing out the animals on the opposite page. Jensen listened with an amused smile the whole time and Jared knew more than once his lover had came close to losing tears over the interaction with his son. Jared wasn’t even in the room and he felt his eyes misting over a time or two.
Alec continued until the book was done, spending more time yawning on the last few pages than pointing things out. When he was done, Alec handed the book to Jensen and turned over, resting his head on his father’s pillow.
Jensen took a deep breath and sighed as his hand ran through Alec’s blond hair. “Alright, you can sleep here tonight.” He said with a small laugh. Alec didn’t move and Jared knew well enough that the little boy had probably passes out as soon as he’d turned over. They were lucky Alec was a good sleeper like that.
Jensen got up and kissed Alec lightly on the cheek before pulling the blankets up to his shoulder and placing his other pillow on Alec’s side so he wasn’t in danger of falling off the edge. Jared watched it all with a smile of his own.
When Jensen stood to walk out he stopped as his eyes caught Jared’s. His smile was brilliant and Jared didn’t think he’d ever get used to seeing that directed at him.
“Hey.” He said softly.
“Hey.” Jensen answered back as he walked out of the room, pulling the door until it was almost shut.
Jared indicated his apartment with a nod of his head and Jensen smiled back, letting Jared take the lead. They made it through the door before Jensen handed Jared the book and he flipped through the pages. On the left side of each page was a title drawing from the Baby Neptune video that Alec was currently obsessed with and on the right hand page were drawings of the different animals. He ran his fingers lightly over the images and felt Jensen looking over his shoulder as he did so.
“He’s a pretty amazing artist.” Jared said as he turned his head to look at Jensen.
“Like his Dad.”
Jared nodded because he didn’t know enough about Michael to answer that, but then Jensen was pulling away to sit on the sofa. Jared could see it wouldn’t last though so he just stood, watching. A minute later Jensen was up on his feet. “Did you see it all?”
“Saw him showing you his book.”
Jensen’s smile was laced with awe and he took the book from Jared again. “I just … even when I try to read to him, you know how hard it is to get him to sit still. To have him read me a book he made…”
Jared couldn’t help the way he smiled at Jensen, couldn’t help the feeling of pride that erupted in his heart, at Jensen’s experience and obvious understanding of the moment and for Alec’s accomplishment in making that connection with his father for those few minutes. “It was a really good idea Jensen.” He said softly, giving the man the credit he deserved. “You’re really good with him, you have good instincts with him.”
“No, Michael-“
“Didn’t make him the books. You did and you should be proud of yourself Jensen.” He said, finally letting his hand come up to cup Jensen’s chin. “You are wonderful with him.” He leaned down then and pressed a gentle kiss to Jensen’s lips.
Jensen relaxed into his touch and when they parted, Jared rested his head against Jensen’s.
“Thank you.” Jensen finally managed to say, his throat thick with emotion. Jared understood. Jensen still thought of Michael as the good father and even after almost two years, it was hard for him to think of himself that way.
“You want to frame it now, don’t you?” Jared answered as he took a step back.
Jensen laughed. “It’s a masterpiece. “
As they settled onto his couch, Jared pulled Jensen closer, letting his lover press another kiss into the skin just below his ear. “He was really with me, you know?”
“Yeah, I saw that.”
“Some days I feel like I just can’t keep going, like nothing I do or say gets through to him and none of it’s doing any good. But today? It was just one of those nights when he was with me, when I know it’s all worth it. I can’t … I can’t think of a way to thank you for your part in all that.”
Jensen was staring up at him then, the honesty and faith in him blinding. He smiled, felt his face blush slightly at the praise and shook his head. “It’s all him man, but if you really want…” he said, his hand coming up to the back of Jensen’s neck. “I’m sure I can find something that would say thank you.”
He didn’t need it, didn’t need a thank you for working with Alec when he loved the boy as much as he did, when he loved being with Alec and Jensen, but Jensen was always so good at appreciation and since they’d become lovers he had become even more so.
As Jensen laughed, pressing a more demanding kiss into his lips, Jared smiled into it. He was more than willing to take a couple thank yous along the way.