Four O'Clock
Title: Seven O'Clock
Series: The Clock 'Verse
Author:
hunters_retreat
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Rating: PG-13 for language and a little sexual situation.
Summary: Sam tells his father he's going to Stanford, but something unexpected happens. AU
Four O'Clock
Jess was staring at him and Dean really, really wanted another drink.
“So, what? You were lying all this time?”
“What?” Dean asked. “No.”
“You and Sam aren’t a couple. You know we all thought that.”
“No. I guess…” he shook his head slightly. “I knew there was some speculation about it but no I never told anyone Sam was my boyfriend.”
Jess shook her head, looking at him thoughtfully. “Maybe not but we all thought you were. Richie thought you were.” She said more pointedly.
“You think what Sam said was true then?” He didn’t want to sound hurt and Jess could take it as she wanted. There were so many things wrong with what had happened that night he didn’t even know where to begin. Was he hurt that Richie might only want him because of Sam? Not really. Disappointed that Richie didn’t look at him as something more than that, but not really hurt. Was he hurting because of Sam’s rush of words and the pained revelation? Hell yeah.
Jessica looked down at her hands. “Yeah Dean, I do. Richie’s always been just a step behind Sam and always looking to get a step ahead.” But you’re not that worried about Richie are you?” She asked.
Dean cursed as he got off the couch because really Jess was way too smart for this. She was a good friend and he couldn’t imagine going to anyone else over this, but at the same time he wished he’d been able to see clear enough to keep it to himself.
“It’s nothing.”
“The not-boyfriend you’ve been living with for the past 8 months confesses his feelings for you and you’re saying it’s nothing? Dean, I know you and Sam pretty well. Why are you here instead of at home in bed? With him?”
Dean took a deep breath because the image of tanned flesh spread out on black sheets exploded behind his eyes and he had to stop it, had to keep control because if everyone else was picking up on this it was really out of control.
“What makes you think I want that?”
“Dean, everyone can see how you two are together.”
“We’re just friends Jess. There’s never been anything more than that.”
She smiled fondly at him. “Dean, you love him and he loves you. Everyone can see it. It’s just… everything you do. The way you do things for Sam, the way he’s always watching you, never quite comfortable unless you’re around.”
“What?”
She laughed sadly. “You don’t even know do you?” She walked up and put her hands on Dean’s shoulders, squaring them. “Time to face facts Dean. You and Sam are head over heels in love. Now go home and tell him before he decides that you really do want Richie more than you want him.”
There was nothing more to it then, because Jess was pushing him out her door and to the car where she drove him home.
“Just… tell him how you feel Dean. Don’t let this fester between you.”
“It’s more complicated than that Jess.”
“He’s your best friend.”
“He’s my brother.”
She sighed. “I know Dean. I know, you grew up together, but… can you picture your life without him Dean? Don’t let the relationship you grew up with keep you from having something more now.” She kissed his cheek then shoved him out.
Dean watched the car pull away in shock. He wasn’t sure if he was more shocked that he’d confessed about Sam, or that Jess had misunderstood him and thought he meant Sam was like a brother and not really his brother. When he looked up though, he saw a silhouette in the window and he took a deep breath. He couldn’t stay outside like this with Sam watching from upstairs.
He walked up the stairs slowly, trying to figure out what he would say. He didn't know what Sam had seen from him earlier. He didn't know if anything had shown to his brother, anything of the unnatural lust he felt, or if his poker face had pulled through for him. Things would go a lot easier that way.
When he opened the door Sam was standing in the living room, watching him. He could see the relief in Sam's eyes that he'd come back and he felt crappy for making his brother think he would just run out like that and not come back.
"Sam." He said softly as he kicked his shoes off and dropped his keys in the drawer.
"Where've you been?" Sam asked. He sounded calm, not at all worried, but the fact that he was asking said a lot.
"Just needed to get out."
Sam nodded. "You left your cell here. Richie called."
Dean nodded. He didn't doubt that Richie had called. Richie was probably trying to stir up a little more trouble. The car ride back from Jess's had been quiet and it'd given him time to think about Richie and his so called friendship. It sucked, because there weren't a lot of people he'd have called friend at that point, but Richie was crossed off the list now. He refused to be friends with someone who would try to ruin someone's relationship like that. He wouldn't stop hanging out with him from time to time but there was only so far he was willing to let him in any further.
"I was worried."
It was an opening that Dean didn't want to take. "Well I’m back now and I’m going to get some sleep."
"Dean."
"Look Sammy, this isn't the right time for this."
"When is there ever going to be a right time for this Dean?" He demanded. "I admitted I want my brother, in a less than brotherly fashion, and you think there is ever going to be a right time to talk about it?" Sam let out a deep bark of laughter.
Dean closed his eyes because there was so much recrimination in Sam's voice. As much as he didn't want to talk, he was going to have to.
"Why did you say it?"
"Because it's true."
"I mean, why say it now? Why tonight?"
Neither was looking at the other and Dean dared a glance up to see Sam staring at his feet. "When you said you were out I thought you were on a date and I was okay with that really, because I know... this is just me and I know that, but then I heard something and came in and it was just you and Richie and I sorta relaxed. But then..." Sam let out a deep shuddered breath. "... He was kissing you and I was angry. I mean, he's tried to do this time and time again, just wanting to get a little ahead and I don't begrudge him that. I mean it's great to have someone to really compete against you know, in something I can actually win."
And Dean knew that was a comment about the many things Dean had beaten Sam at growing up, how they'd always fought back and forth to be better than each other but Dean had the focus and ability that made him a natural hunter where Sam had fought to learn every weapon.
"But this? You? He doesn't deserve to win you Dean, not when it's about me. Hell, if I believed he was really interested in you, really wanted you outside of this competition, I’d step back, but that's not what I see. And ... I was jealous. So I made him leave and I..." Sam looked up and caught Dean's eye. "... I told you the one secret I’ve been trying not to let you in on."
"Sam."
"Dean, it doesn’t have to change things, alright? I've been dealing with it and it's not a problem. I won't let it be. I just... I screwed up but don't leave." He said taking half a step towards Dean. "Don't go back out there. Just stay and I’ll find a way to make this go away Dean. You won't even know."
Dean closed his eyes, thinking back to all the times he'd thought Sam had caught on, those same feelings, those words echoing in his head as he waited for Sam to hate him. Jesus this was so screwed.
"Sam, I’m not leaving you. Not over this or anything else." Sam looked doubtful and it was the last straw. Dean closed the distance to him, pulling his brother into his arms and holding him tight. "I am not leaving you Sam. We'll deal with this like we've dealt with every other crazy thing that's happened in our lives."
Sam was trembling slightly and Dean just help him until it passed. When Sam stepped back Dean let him go. Dean took a seat on the couch and Sam sat next to him, trying to keep his distance. Dean let his legs fall open a little so his thigh was pressed to Sam's. Sam took a deep breath and let his head fall back, eyes closed.
It took everything in Dean not to lean over and kiss his brother, but it would only confuse everything. "How long?" Dean asked. He wasn't aware he even wanted to know the answer so it was a surprise to hear his voice asking.
Sam let out a mirthless laugh. "Forever? I don't know. I don't look at you anymore than I used to, I don't look any differently. But now ... I started getting jealous right after we moved here. It never mattered when we were hunting I guess, because they were just one niters, someone you'd leave behind, but then we got here and you were making friends. Honestly, I thought it would be you and Jess."
Dean laughed because it made more sense than him and Richie and he was just beginning to question why he'd agreed to it in the first place. A substitute maybe? Someone as smart as Sam, as competitive? God he hoped he wasn't that pathetic. Then again, if Jess had asked him would he have taken her up on the offer? Hell yeah. He knew it. So maybe it was just a matter of opportunity because Richie had given him the shot.
"You know Jess thought we were a couple."
"Yeah."
"So does everyone else."
Sam let out a deep breath. "Yeah."
He nodded. "You know, there's a reason for that."
Sam looked up, confusion on his face as Dean stood. He was going to go to hell for this, he knew it, but the longer he sat there talking, listening to Sam's pained confusion, he knew he didn't care. He'd left everything in his world for Sam and he'd become something more. He'd spent years denying what he felt, pushed away the resentment every time their father turned a blind eye to it, leaving Dean to deal with it by himself, to steal himself against his own desires. Everything was different now though. If Sam wanted this, so did he. He looked down at his brother's face and smiled as he leaned over. Sam's head pressed back into the couch and Dean had to chase his mouth, but he managed to brush his lips against his brother's. Sam gasped and Dean let his tongue run lightly over his bottom lip, but didn't press further.
When he straightened up he smiled at Sam, holding out his hand. Sam took it, eyes impossibly wide. He didn't say anything as Dean pulled him back towards his room. When he opened San’ bedroom door he pushed Sam inside. "Just... go to sleep Sam. We'll figure this out in the morning."
"Dean?"
His voice was shaky and Dean looked him in the eye, hoping he wasn't doing the wrong thing. "Yeah Sammy?"
"How long?" He repeated Dean's question to him.
He let out a little huff and shook his head as he ran his hand over his face. He swallowed against the lump in his throat because he didn't want to answer but damned if his little brother didn't deserve the truth.
"Years." He said softly. The last thing he said before he closed the door to his own room was the truth he'd managed to keep buried for so long. "Four years."
On to Eleven O'Clock
Series: The Clock 'Verse
Author:
hunters_retreat
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Rating: PG-13 for language and a little sexual situation.
Summary: Sam tells his father he's going to Stanford, but something unexpected happens. AU
Four O'Clock
Jess was staring at him and Dean really, really wanted another drink.
“So, what? You were lying all this time?”
“What?” Dean asked. “No.”
“You and Sam aren’t a couple. You know we all thought that.”
“No. I guess…” he shook his head slightly. “I knew there was some speculation about it but no I never told anyone Sam was my boyfriend.”
Jess shook her head, looking at him thoughtfully. “Maybe not but we all thought you were. Richie thought you were.” She said more pointedly.
“You think what Sam said was true then?” He didn’t want to sound hurt and Jess could take it as she wanted. There were so many things wrong with what had happened that night he didn’t even know where to begin. Was he hurt that Richie might only want him because of Sam? Not really. Disappointed that Richie didn’t look at him as something more than that, but not really hurt. Was he hurting because of Sam’s rush of words and the pained revelation? Hell yeah.
Jessica looked down at her hands. “Yeah Dean, I do. Richie’s always been just a step behind Sam and always looking to get a step ahead.” But you’re not that worried about Richie are you?” She asked.
Dean cursed as he got off the couch because really Jess was way too smart for this. She was a good friend and he couldn’t imagine going to anyone else over this, but at the same time he wished he’d been able to see clear enough to keep it to himself.
“It’s nothing.”
“The not-boyfriend you’ve been living with for the past 8 months confesses his feelings for you and you’re saying it’s nothing? Dean, I know you and Sam pretty well. Why are you here instead of at home in bed? With him?”
Dean took a deep breath because the image of tanned flesh spread out on black sheets exploded behind his eyes and he had to stop it, had to keep control because if everyone else was picking up on this it was really out of control.
“What makes you think I want that?”
“Dean, everyone can see how you two are together.”
“We’re just friends Jess. There’s never been anything more than that.”
She smiled fondly at him. “Dean, you love him and he loves you. Everyone can see it. It’s just… everything you do. The way you do things for Sam, the way he’s always watching you, never quite comfortable unless you’re around.”
“What?”
She laughed sadly. “You don’t even know do you?” She walked up and put her hands on Dean’s shoulders, squaring them. “Time to face facts Dean. You and Sam are head over heels in love. Now go home and tell him before he decides that you really do want Richie more than you want him.”
There was nothing more to it then, because Jess was pushing him out her door and to the car where she drove him home.
“Just… tell him how you feel Dean. Don’t let this fester between you.”
“It’s more complicated than that Jess.”
“He’s your best friend.”
“He’s my brother.”
She sighed. “I know Dean. I know, you grew up together, but… can you picture your life without him Dean? Don’t let the relationship you grew up with keep you from having something more now.” She kissed his cheek then shoved him out.
Dean watched the car pull away in shock. He wasn’t sure if he was more shocked that he’d confessed about Sam, or that Jess had misunderstood him and thought he meant Sam was like a brother and not really his brother. When he looked up though, he saw a silhouette in the window and he took a deep breath. He couldn’t stay outside like this with Sam watching from upstairs.
He walked up the stairs slowly, trying to figure out what he would say. He didn't know what Sam had seen from him earlier. He didn't know if anything had shown to his brother, anything of the unnatural lust he felt, or if his poker face had pulled through for him. Things would go a lot easier that way.
When he opened the door Sam was standing in the living room, watching him. He could see the relief in Sam's eyes that he'd come back and he felt crappy for making his brother think he would just run out like that and not come back.
"Sam." He said softly as he kicked his shoes off and dropped his keys in the drawer.
"Where've you been?" Sam asked. He sounded calm, not at all worried, but the fact that he was asking said a lot.
"Just needed to get out."
Sam nodded. "You left your cell here. Richie called."
Dean nodded. He didn't doubt that Richie had called. Richie was probably trying to stir up a little more trouble. The car ride back from Jess's had been quiet and it'd given him time to think about Richie and his so called friendship. It sucked, because there weren't a lot of people he'd have called friend at that point, but Richie was crossed off the list now. He refused to be friends with someone who would try to ruin someone's relationship like that. He wouldn't stop hanging out with him from time to time but there was only so far he was willing to let him in any further.
"I was worried."
It was an opening that Dean didn't want to take. "Well I’m back now and I’m going to get some sleep."
"Dean."
"Look Sammy, this isn't the right time for this."
"When is there ever going to be a right time for this Dean?" He demanded. "I admitted I want my brother, in a less than brotherly fashion, and you think there is ever going to be a right time to talk about it?" Sam let out a deep bark of laughter.
Dean closed his eyes because there was so much recrimination in Sam's voice. As much as he didn't want to talk, he was going to have to.
"Why did you say it?"
"Because it's true."
"I mean, why say it now? Why tonight?"
Neither was looking at the other and Dean dared a glance up to see Sam staring at his feet. "When you said you were out I thought you were on a date and I was okay with that really, because I know... this is just me and I know that, but then I heard something and came in and it was just you and Richie and I sorta relaxed. But then..." Sam let out a deep shuddered breath. "... He was kissing you and I was angry. I mean, he's tried to do this time and time again, just wanting to get a little ahead and I don't begrudge him that. I mean it's great to have someone to really compete against you know, in something I can actually win."
And Dean knew that was a comment about the many things Dean had beaten Sam at growing up, how they'd always fought back and forth to be better than each other but Dean had the focus and ability that made him a natural hunter where Sam had fought to learn every weapon.
"But this? You? He doesn't deserve to win you Dean, not when it's about me. Hell, if I believed he was really interested in you, really wanted you outside of this competition, I’d step back, but that's not what I see. And ... I was jealous. So I made him leave and I..." Sam looked up and caught Dean's eye. "... I told you the one secret I’ve been trying not to let you in on."
"Sam."
"Dean, it doesn’t have to change things, alright? I've been dealing with it and it's not a problem. I won't let it be. I just... I screwed up but don't leave." He said taking half a step towards Dean. "Don't go back out there. Just stay and I’ll find a way to make this go away Dean. You won't even know."
Dean closed his eyes, thinking back to all the times he'd thought Sam had caught on, those same feelings, those words echoing in his head as he waited for Sam to hate him. Jesus this was so screwed.
"Sam, I’m not leaving you. Not over this or anything else." Sam looked doubtful and it was the last straw. Dean closed the distance to him, pulling his brother into his arms and holding him tight. "I am not leaving you Sam. We'll deal with this like we've dealt with every other crazy thing that's happened in our lives."
Sam was trembling slightly and Dean just help him until it passed. When Sam stepped back Dean let him go. Dean took a seat on the couch and Sam sat next to him, trying to keep his distance. Dean let his legs fall open a little so his thigh was pressed to Sam's. Sam took a deep breath and let his head fall back, eyes closed.
It took everything in Dean not to lean over and kiss his brother, but it would only confuse everything. "How long?" Dean asked. He wasn't aware he even wanted to know the answer so it was a surprise to hear his voice asking.
Sam let out a mirthless laugh. "Forever? I don't know. I don't look at you anymore than I used to, I don't look any differently. But now ... I started getting jealous right after we moved here. It never mattered when we were hunting I guess, because they were just one niters, someone you'd leave behind, but then we got here and you were making friends. Honestly, I thought it would be you and Jess."
Dean laughed because it made more sense than him and Richie and he was just beginning to question why he'd agreed to it in the first place. A substitute maybe? Someone as smart as Sam, as competitive? God he hoped he wasn't that pathetic. Then again, if Jess had asked him would he have taken her up on the offer? Hell yeah. He knew it. So maybe it was just a matter of opportunity because Richie had given him the shot.
"You know Jess thought we were a couple."
"Yeah."
"So does everyone else."
Sam let out a deep breath. "Yeah."
He nodded. "You know, there's a reason for that."
Sam looked up, confusion on his face as Dean stood. He was going to go to hell for this, he knew it, but the longer he sat there talking, listening to Sam's pained confusion, he knew he didn't care. He'd left everything in his world for Sam and he'd become something more. He'd spent years denying what he felt, pushed away the resentment every time their father turned a blind eye to it, leaving Dean to deal with it by himself, to steal himself against his own desires. Everything was different now though. If Sam wanted this, so did he. He looked down at his brother's face and smiled as he leaned over. Sam's head pressed back into the couch and Dean had to chase his mouth, but he managed to brush his lips against his brother's. Sam gasped and Dean let his tongue run lightly over his bottom lip, but didn't press further.
When he straightened up he smiled at Sam, holding out his hand. Sam took it, eyes impossibly wide. He didn't say anything as Dean pulled him back towards his room. When he opened San’ bedroom door he pushed Sam inside. "Just... go to sleep Sam. We'll figure this out in the morning."
"Dean?"
His voice was shaky and Dean looked him in the eye, hoping he wasn't doing the wrong thing. "Yeah Sammy?"
"How long?" He repeated Dean's question to him.
He let out a little huff and shook his head as he ran his hand over his face. He swallowed against the lump in his throat because he didn't want to answer but damned if his little brother didn't deserve the truth.
"Years." He said softly. The last thing he said before he closed the door to his own room was the truth he'd managed to keep buried for so long. "Four years."
On to Eleven O'Clock