#180: What would you do differently the second time around (if anything)? Why?
"If you could completely start your life over from scratch, what would you do differently the second time around (if anything)? Why?"
Theatrical Muse
SPOILERS for 2x21 and 2x22 "All Hell Breaks Loose Parts 1 and 2."
He's always been afraid of the idea of being able to change to past - always avoided thinking about it too much. He used to, when he was younger, but that had always made him feel worse, at the end of the day, that he couldn't have all that he wanted.
But sitting in the Impala's passenger seat, leather pressing against the still healing wound on his back, Dean humming to Metallica like he hasn't got a care in the world next to him, he's thinking about it a lot. He just wants one chance - to change just one thing.
If he could, he'd go back to...however many days ago it was ago, to waking up on the ground in Cold Oak.
Or he'd go back, even, to standing over Jake's body, that metal bar in his hand. He thinks, now, he should have finished it there and then. He didn't want to be what the yellow-eyed demon wanted - his morals and whatever else had stopped him from delivering that finishing blow. He'd ended up killing him anyway - burnt almost whole clip into him on principle alone.
It wasn't even that it was because the bastard let out a couple of hundred demons loose on the world - enough for an entire army - even though that was part of it, yeah.
It's just...he's ended up killing the man in cold blood anyway, the very thing he hadn't wanted to do when he'd had the chance, but that his compassion - that sparing Jake's life then - might have cost Dean's soul.... It wasn't worth it.
Nothing was worth that.
If he could go back, he wouldn't even hesitate.
That Dean sold his soul because Sam couldn't kill a man... that, in a year's time, Dean would be headed for Hell was unacceptable.
And if Sam had to tear open Hell itself so that Dean didn't have to pay for his mistake - for his stupidity - then, this time, he wouldn't even hesitate.
~
Muse: Sam Winchester
Fandom: Supernatural
Word Count: 335
Theatrical Muse
SPOILERS for 2x21 and 2x22 "All Hell Breaks Loose Parts 1 and 2."
He's always been afraid of the idea of being able to change to past - always avoided thinking about it too much. He used to, when he was younger, but that had always made him feel worse, at the end of the day, that he couldn't have all that he wanted.
But sitting in the Impala's passenger seat, leather pressing against the still healing wound on his back, Dean humming to Metallica like he hasn't got a care in the world next to him, he's thinking about it a lot. He just wants one chance - to change just one thing.
If he could, he'd go back to...however many days ago it was ago, to waking up on the ground in Cold Oak.
Or he'd go back, even, to standing over Jake's body, that metal bar in his hand. He thinks, now, he should have finished it there and then. He didn't want to be what the yellow-eyed demon wanted - his morals and whatever else had stopped him from delivering that finishing blow. He'd ended up killing him anyway - burnt almost whole clip into him on principle alone.
It wasn't even that it was because the bastard let out a couple of hundred demons loose on the world - enough for an entire army - even though that was part of it, yeah.
It's just...he's ended up killing the man in cold blood anyway, the very thing he hadn't wanted to do when he'd had the chance, but that his compassion - that sparing Jake's life then - might have cost Dean's soul.... It wasn't worth it.
Nothing was worth that.
If he could go back, he wouldn't even hesitate.
That Dean sold his soul because Sam couldn't kill a man... that, in a year's time, Dean would be headed for Hell was unacceptable.
And if Sam had to tear open Hell itself so that Dean didn't have to pay for his mistake - for his stupidity - then, this time, he wouldn't even hesitate.
~
Muse: Sam Winchester
Fandom: Supernatural
Word Count: 335