That Would Be Enough (Chapter Six)
Title: That Would Be Enough
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Pairing: Ed/Winry, Ed/Roy
Warnings: Emotional Cheating, Ed is an idiot
Summary: Ed made choices. He made mistakes. They all had to live with them. Ed proposes to Winry on the train platform, but was it the right choice and for the right reasons? With a serial killer on the loose and Ed the next target, he had no choice but to look for the truth in his own heart.
The meeting was an hour in and Roy had been finished with it 2 minutes after it started. There were a number of notable soldiers in the room, and Roy was grateful, at least, to have Alex Louis Armstrong at his side. The Fuhrer had spent plenty of time going through mundane business before he’d asked Roy about his trip to Xing. He’d already reported his work there, but the conversation opened it up to questions and comments and the last thing Roy had the patience for today was General Ackerman sitting across the room and questioning everything.
He was discrete about his own dismissal and never mentioned it outright but Roy had a hard time keeping his usual poker face in place. It was bad enough that he’d offended the Emperor by speaking poorly of alchemists - and alchehestry practitioners by association - but he’d also done so in front of Mei Chang. She’d also heard him speaking poorly of Edward and the girl had bitten her tongue with more diplomacy than Ackerman had shown, and spoken to Ling in private.
Only a fool was unaware of the relationship between the Fullmetal Alchemist and the Emperor of Xing. The basis of their relationship with Xing was that friendship that Ed had developed when Ling was still a Prince, combined with the goodwill of Alphonse’s time training with Mei and her clan. The only explanation was the man was either an idiot, he was purposely disrupting the talks with Xing, or he wanted to sabotage the talks because Roy Mustang led them.
Looking across the room at the man now, Roy had no doubt that it was personal.
“Perhaps a more experiences statesman would have been able to get access to the other goods as well,” the man said to finish off his speech about the shortcomings of the Xing mission.
The Fuhrer looked at Ackerman and gave a short nod. It wasn’t an approval but a considering look. “I think Parliament will be quite happy with the work you’ve done, General Mustang,” Grumman said dismissively. “I know I certainly am. I’ve been told the Emperor likes to keep his opponents on their toes and changes times and places of meetings to make them scramble around at his whim. I believe our previous Xing ambassador said he was forced to hold meetings while Ling was visiting his harem. I think we can be grateful for your relationship with the man on the Promised Day for ensuring that didn’t happen.”
Mustang smiled at the rumors because Mustang knew it was true. Ling had laughed himself silly telling Roy about that. He’d been through half a bottle of brandy on his own and was regaling Roy of his favorite diplomatic adventures.
“Thank you, Your Excellency. I was rather pleased about that myself.”
“Perhaps the next time, you’ll be able to take Major Elric with you. I’ve heard the Emperor and Elric had a rather interesting relationship. That might be enough to keep him on his toes in the next negotiation.”
Roy smiled at that, even if the thought of Fullmetal hurt. “I will do what I can.”
A moment later the Fuhrer dismissed them. Roy walked out of the office to wait for Armstrong who had to stay behind a moment. He was alone in the hallway when a final figure left the room. Roy looked up at a sneering Ackerman.
“You are so sure of your favorites, Mustang, but you might want to check your loyalties. Do you really think they deserve that trust you put in them?”
“What do you want, Ackerman?” He was usually not so rude to another officer but he had enough of him, and no one questioned the loyalty of Roy’s men.
“You might want to keep an eye on that stray of yours in Resembool. His wife is starting to figure out just exactly where her husband fits in your office.”
Roy clenched his jaw tight and waited because he knew Ackerman wasn’t done. The other general stepped in even closer.
“We all know the best place for a dog in this military is on his knees with his Master’s collar around his neck.”
“General.”
The tone was firm and controlled, but the voice wasn’t Roy’s. Mustang had no idea if Armstrong had heard Ackerman’s words and realized Roy had brought his fingers together, an unconscious preparation for battle, or if he’d simply witnessed the two in the uncomfortable position.
“Tell Fullmetal it was lovely to meet his wife. And to help her put aside any doubts as to her husband’s best known talents.”
The shadow that was Armstrong was over them now and Ackerman was smart enough to move away. Roy walked back towards Investigations where he was supposed to have a meeting with Armstrong now. It was quiet in the halls, but once they reached the open air, Alex spoke.
“He had no right to make those insinuations.”
“I know. He made it quite clear in Xing that he dislikes alchemists. I’m not sure how deep rooted that hatred is, or if this is something specific to Fullmetal and myself. I asked Breda to do some digging.”
“I’ll look into it as well.”
“Thank you, Alex.”
“Is Winry alright?”
“She is. I spoke with her this morning after I found out Ackerman had been to visit. I wanted to reassure her that I had not sent that man to visit her. She was, as always, completely understanding.”
“And Ed?”
“Pissed. Though I have a feeling the conversation I was reported was not as thorough as it should have been. Neither Winry nor Ed said mentioned his disrespect for alchemists or any insinuations of … inappropriate conduct.”
“I don’t imagine Ed would keep quiet if there had been.”
“And Winry would.”
“I am heading on the outbound train this afternoon. Perhaps I’ll make a stop in Resembool to visit.”
Roy smiled. “I would be greatly relieved if you were able to make a quick stop. Winry is very dear to us all.”
Mustang was about to walk back into the crowded hallways when Alex stopped him with a hand on his arm. “No one who knows the two of you would think anything of such allegations.”
Mustang blew out a deep breath because he knew what Alex was trying to warn him about. “But it isn’t the first time they’ve been whispered and the wrong people might look.”
Armstrong nodded.
“I’m aware. It’s been an ongoing battle since I brought Fullmetal onto the team.”
“How do you handle it?” Armstrong asked.
Mustang smiled. “I usually don’t. I simply find a way to get Fullmetal into a room with whoever is mentioning such things. If a conversation with Ed won’t tell you that he would never do anything he didn’t want to do, then no other proof could.”
Armstrong laughed as they made their way back into the hallways, but Mustang couldn’t help the nagging doubt in the back of his mind.
It wasn’t a complete bust, but it wasn’t what Ed had wanted either. He had found traces of chalk in the room of the first victim, but it had been mostly wiped away when the young man had been discovered all those years ago. He made a drawing of what little he could find and moved on. He visited three victims that day but it was always the same. A little trace of something, maybe alchemy had been used in the room, but there was nothing definite. Ed didn’t think Tanner had used alchemy to kill his victims, but he was beginning to think he had found some other way to bind them to keep them still while he suffocated them.
Shaun Tanner wasn’t a big man and some of the victims could have easily overpowered him, had they tried.
He sighed as he sat on the bench at the train station, waiting for the last train to pull in. If he was lucky and the train was actually on time, he’d be in Central before the team made it to the office in the morning.
He had been early enough to get a good seat as he waited on the platform but it had started to fill out more now. He’d thought about staying the night and getting the train out in the morning but it had been too long since he’d seen the team and he was antsy to see them.
And as much as he was worried about what would happen the next time he saw Mustang, he couldn’t help but want to see him now that they were back in the same country. He thought about the phone call last night and the letter he’d thrown in the trash. He rubbed at his chest, feeling the slight rise of the charm Mustang has sent him. It wasn’t a good place for his head to go, especially when he was going to be stuck in his head the whole train ride home. Hopefully he’d catch some sleep instead.
The thought of the ride suddenly made him feel cramped and claustrophobic so he stood up and decided to stretch his legs. He raised his arms up high and stretched before he reached down to grab his bag. He was jostled slightly by someone passing by and when Ed looked up, he hissed as he saw a man farther down the platform.
Tanner.
Shit. Mustang said Tanner would remember him. Was he at the station because of Ed or was it just a coincidence? Ed bent down to pretend to tie his shoe and watched the other man. He was definitely looking for someone. And while Ed couldn’t see the other faces, there were at least two men with him.
As much as Ed wanted to take the guy down, he couldn’t do it on the train platform and endanger all the people waiting there. When a third stooge walked up and spoke to Tanner, Ed realized he had to get Tanner off the platform.
They were coming closer and Ed was trying to figure out what his move was. He tucked his ponytail under his collar and pulled his jacket up and turned the other way so that his face was hidden as Tanner got closer.
“He came here after he checked out of the hotel,” one of the men said.
“You’re certain?”
“Yes. We followed him. What do we do now?”
“Find him. I won’t let him escape this time.”
And that was Ed’s cue to get the hell out of there. He let the other men pass and calmly stood up from his spot and grabbed his bag. Tanner was after him specifically. He wasn’t going to hurt someone else if Ed wasn’t there. Now, he just had to get away from the train. Ed might want to get the man to follow him away, but if he was seen it was far more likely to turn sour. Anyone who knew Ed knew that he wouldn’t allow innocent people to get hurt. All they had to do was grab someone from the crowd and Ed wouldn’t have a choice but to stand and fight.
As much as he wanted to do just that, he’d seen too many people hurt to be the cause of it like that.
Ed made it to the back side of the building without being followed and he let out a sigh of relief. When he heard the train come in, he waited for it to stop. His movements would be easier while everyone was boarding.
He crossed in front of the train and leaned against the front car for a second to see if he was followed before he stepped away. As soon as he did, someone stepped between the cars and threw a fist at him. It took him by surprise and Ed was knocked to the ground. Two kicks followed up the fist and he grunted as it connected with his left side. He clapped his hands and the earth bust open around the guy, pushing him back. The guy ran for him and Ed side stepped it. The man turned quickly, but Ed clapped again and the tracks in front of the train pulled up and caught him around the chest, pinning him to the ground.
Ed let out a deep breath and turned to look back towards the train when a loud shot rang out. Ed shouted out in pain as a bullet grazed his upper arm.
“Stay where you are, Edward Elric.”
Ed didn’t recognize him but watched as the guy motioned him forward. Ed did as he was told, waiting for the right moment. It came when the guy tripped over the train tracks as he walked backward to keep Ed in his sights as he checked on his fallen companion.
Ed clapped his hands and pushed out with his alchemy until the metal of the train tracks pulled up and wrapped around the second guy’s torso. The wooden boards on the track turned into a box to cover both the men’s heads so their speech would be muffled. It wouldn’t take long for someone to find them, but Ed planned to be long gone by then. And Tanner would know it and leave the train passengers alone for now.
Ed took off in a run. He’d always had the Devil’s own luck and there was a slight hill that would give him cover as he continued down the road. He heard a truck coming close a few minutes later and covered his wounded arm and smiled when an old farmer stopped to look at him.
“You looking for trouble?” the guy asked when he stopped to see Ed.
“No. Actually,” he rubbed the back of his neck and smiled at the guy, doing his best innocent expression. “I got to the train station and realized I spent all my money buying my wife a souvenir. I figured I could make it to the next town by sundown and maybe find a little work to get me to Central.”
“Why not just stay in East City?”
“Ah, you know how it is. Big city people just aren’t that friendly.”
The old man laughed and Ed realized he had him. All those years of traveling with Al had given them the ability to hitch a ride just about anywhere.
“You’re heading all the way to Central?” the man asked.
Ed nodded.
“I’m headed to a little town just outside of Central, but you give me a hand unloading the truck and I’ll drive you in once we’re done. You can sleep in the bed with the hay,” he said as he nodded to the back of the truck. “You look like you could use the sleep.”
Ed smiled. “Thank you, sir. It’s very kind of you.”
“You can come up here until its dark if you prefer. Wouldn’t mind some company.”
Ed threw his case at his feet in the cab of the truck and smiled at the old man as he held out his hand.
“Ed.”
“Samuel.”
“Nice to meet you, Sam.”
Hawkeye had just stopped in with a new stack of paperwork and a fresh cup of coffee - bless the woman - when the outer door of the office flew open in usual Elric fashion.
“Is he here?”
Roy was out of his seat and in the doorway to the outer room before he realized he was moving. Edward Elric liked to announce his presence but his brother Alphonse was far more likely to enter quietly. That he had thrown the door open with such force was a proof of a troubled state of mind.
“Al?” Havoc called his name, catching the distress as readily as Roy had.
“Did Ed come here this morning?”
Roy felt a sense of misgiving but he couldn’t voice it. “I spoke with him two nights ago in East City,” Roy assured him. “He said it might take a day or two to finish up there before he returned.” Roy didn’t add that with the way things had ended between them he’d expected Fullmetal to avoid the office for as long as possible. Not that it would work with an active investigation, but no one could complain if he was extra thorough in East City and took a few days more. Or if he went home to sleep and clean up before he showed up in the office.
“He called me yesterday to say he was taking the last train out of East City. The train was delayed but when it came in, he wasn’t on it.”
“Why was the train delayed?” Roy asked.
He could see Havoc grab for the phone already and he knew he’d have an answer soon enough.
“They said there was some trouble on the tracks,” Al said. “I don’t know if they know anything else or just didn’t want to tell a civilian.”
Breda had another phone in hand but he stood as he called to the younger Elric. “Alphonse, you need to explain this.”
Roy watched the moment pass between the two and Al finally nodded. He had no idea what this was about but then Al turned to look at him. “General, if I could speak to you in private?”
Roy motioned him into his office and was growing more concerned about both Elrics. When the door was closed, Roy took a seat behind his desk, afraid he’d need as much emotional distance as he could muster for whatever was about to happen.
“Can you think of any reason my brother wouldn’t have come straight to Central even after he called me?” Al asked.
“I’m not sure I know what you mean,” Roy said. He steepled his fingers to give himself the appearance of control that he was already starting to feel slip.
“I mean that when I spoke to my brother yesterday something was bothering him but he wouldn’t talk to me about that.”
“I’m sure it’s nothing, Al.”
“The only time he won’t talk to me is when it comes to you, Roy.”
The fact that he called him by his first name was all too telling about their current situation. It was only when they were alone that he called him Roy and even then, it was only when he wanted to discuss personal matters. Which meant Al, as always, knew far more than Roy was comfortable with.
“As far as I know, he was still planning to come back to Central as soon as he finished the investigation.”
“But something did happen between the two of you.”
Roy sighed. He hadn’t slept well the last two nights, after his call with Ed, and he wasn’t ready for this confrontation. “Nothing has ever happened between the two of us, Alphonse,” he said quietly.
When he looked up, he realized that he had just given Al the confirmation that he needed.
“I was there, Roy,” he said just as softly. “It was years ago at the train station. Ed got married, but nothing really changed between the two of you. What was there back then, it’s still there. It’s why Ed is in Central City working for the military instead of with his wife in Resembool.”
“Al,” he wasn’t sure what he wanted to say. He knew Al had been there that day, but he had never realized he had seen the moment between himself and Ed. A moment that Roy had regretted for years. He’d pulled away from Ed because he’d heard Winry calling to him, but what if he hadn’t? What if he’d leaned in and closed the distance between them, as he’d intended?
After Ed had brought it up so unexpectedly the other night, Roy hadn’t been able to think of much else.
“I need to know. What happened with my brother the other night?”
“Nothing,” Roy said again. “Al, your brother is a married man.”
“And you’re in love with him.”
Roy didn’t argue.
“And he’s in love with you.”
He closed his eyes because he had never said the words, neither had Ed, but he knew it all the same. There was no recrimination in Al’s voice, just the blatant truth.
“What happened?”
“We don’t talk about it,” Roy said softly. “After all these years, it came up.”
“Do you think it would have kept him from coming back to Central?”
“No, of course not. He might have taken as long as possible to report to the office, but he wouldn’t worry you like that. If he called you and said that he was coming to Central, no matter what happened between us, he would be here.”
“That’s what I thought but, Roy, he sounded really bad when I talked to him yesterday.”
Roy nodded because he could imagine but he didn’t want to worry Al. “What was Breda speaking of?” he asked to try to get control of the conversation.
“The list of people that Tanner had of the people he was going to kill. It turns out that after we did our research there is only one name on the list that is still alive.”
“What?”
“We just finished tracking down everyone on the list yesterday and realized that there was only one target left.”
“And?” The look on Al’s face made his stomach drop and he had to take a deep breath to keep his voice clear as he spoke. “Ed.”
Al nodded but Roy ignored the young man in front of him as he hurried out to the outer office.
“What do we know?”
“Sir,” Havoc said. “Apparently, the train was delayed because part of the track had been pulled up. Someone used alchemy to rip part of it from the ground to hold on to two men, one of whom was armed. They also used the wooden slats to create boxes around their heads. The officer in charge believes it was done to muffle the man’s voice when it happened. A single gunshot was heard but there’s been no sign of anyone being injured.”
“The police are also looking into a break in at a hotel yesterday,” Breda spoke up. “It was the hotel Ed was staying at. It seems like it happened after Ed checked out, but I’m having them check to see if anything happened in the room Ed was staying in. We’re trying to track him down from there.”
“The man selling tickets recognized Ed’s description on the train tracks,” Havoc added. “He was there at the platform but we don’t know where he went from there.”
“Sir,” Hawkeye called for his attention then. “There hasn’t been any sign of him at the stations closest to that location.”
“Ed wouldn’t have gone to the next station,” Roy said, aloud. “It would be too easy for someone to track him that way.”
“He’d have hitchhiked,” Al answered. “It’s the only way to make an unpredictable entry into Central. And we believe that Tanner is using the Central City train depot to find victims. He would try to find another way into the city if he thought Tanner was following him.”
Roy was trying to think of his next move when the door behind them was thrown open. They all turned and Roy was held motionless, speechless, as Ed walked into the room. He was dirty and sweaty and beat up, but he walked in like nothing had happened.
“Brother!” Al had Ed wrapped up in his arms immediately and Ed looked back at Roy in surprise.
“Um, Al?”
“Where have you been?” Al yelled as he let go of his brother. “I was worried! What happened at the train station?”
“Nothing I couldn’t handle,” Ed said with a cocky grin.
Roy wanted to snap the smile off his damn face but Al’s temper had been barely held together and the grin seemed to be the last straw for his brother.
“God damn it, Ed! It was Tanner, wasn’t it? He’s after you!”
“Yeah, Tanner saw me at the train station. I was going to try to get to him, but he was there with a couple guys and I knew I couldn’t do anything while they were in the middle of a crowd.”
“Ed, there’s blood,” Fuery said as he pointed to Ed’s sleeve.
“It’s nothing. Just a graze. One of the guys had a gun. Which is why I didn’t stick around.” He turned to look at Roy and though his eyes were guarded he didn’t hesitate to speak about the case. “I think Tanner is using alchemy in some way to hold people while he’s strangling them, to make it look like they’re dying in their sleep.”
“And he’s killing the ones he can’t make look like natural deaths,” Roy figured out.
“And you thought you’d just run off and go after him, Ed?” Al was berating Ed again.
“What am I supposed to do, Al? We don’t know how many people he’s killed and who is next!”
“You are!” Al yelled. “Damn it, Ed, you are. You were on his list.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Ed demanded.
“Because you’d have run off to make yourself bait!”
“Better me than someone else.”
“Why do you want to die?!” Al screamed.
Ed was stunned into silence and Roy felt equally frozen by the helpless look Ed shot him. “Al…”
“No! You know what he was doing. You know what he was using to target people. Tanner thinks you want to die and he’s trying to kill you so you don’t have to do it yourself!”
“What?” Roy couldn’t help the surprise that colored his words. He hadn’t had a chance to look at the research himself and when asked about it, Breda had told Mustang that he didn’t understand and it was best if Ed or Al explained it when they made their way into the office.
Now, Roy wished he’d asked either of the brothers before.
“Al, it’s not-”
Whatever he’d been about to say had been silenced by the look his brother gave him. When Al looked at Roy his eyes simmered with anger. “He calls himself the Merciful Alchemist because he believes he’s making mercy kills. He’s using an array to detect people who want to die.”
“You can’t use alchemy that way,” Roy denied.
“Most of our alchemy has been focused on military or construction applications,” Al said. “The Xingese are so much farther ahead than us in healing with their alchehestry and they use it to try to help people who are having emotional trouble. I think Merciful is using alchemy in a similar way. There is no way he could tell if someone wanted to die, but he can tell people who need help.”
“There is nothing wrong with me,” Ed said to Al, rubbing unconsciously at the chest plate of his automail.
Al ignored him. “I’m taking my brother home to have a very long discussion,” he said to Roy and there was no doubt just what this conversation was going to be about. “Who are you sending?”
Because Al knew he couldn’t let both of them walk out without someone to keep an eye on them. At least Al was sensible in his anger. When Roy looked back at Ed, the other man looked away and refused to meet his eyes.
“I’ll have two plain clothed soldiers sent to keep a discrete eye out for both of you,” Mustang said. He heard Hawkeye pick up a phone behind him and knew that she was already taking care of it. “Havoc. Fuery. Drive them home. Check the apartment before they go in and make sure it’s safe. Al, if anything looks out of place come back. We’ll find you a place in the barracks if we need to.”
“I’ll take care of him, General.”
“Hey!” Al pushed Ed towards the door as Havoc and Fuery followed. “I can take care of myself!”
They were all out the door but Ed paused as he was closing the door. He looked at Roy and he had no idea what Ed saw there, but it put concern on his face. He mouthed “Later” to Roy and then he pulled the door closed behind him.
“Sir?” Hawkeye stepped in front of him and he took his attention away from the door. “Major Armstrong is sending two of his people. He’ll keep them on rotation with 24 hour surveillance until we’re sure Ed is no longer a target.”
“Thank you.”
He looked up at Breda then and nodded towards his office. It was obvious the man knew more than he’d reported and Roy had no desire for more surprises. “If you would,” he said. There was an edge to his voice and he watched Breda flinch slightly. At least he had the intelligence to recognize he was in serious trouble with his boss.
He looked at Hawkeye and she nodded at him. “When Fuery gets back, send him in as well.”
It was the last place he wanted to be tonight, but Ed knew he didn’t have a choice really. He needed to talk to Mustang when they weren’t at the office. His brother had been pretty brutal that afternoon but he’d left Ed to lick his wounds as they’d continued to work on the research they had in their apartment.
Al spoke to the office a few times over the course of the day and Ed couldn’t help but notice that every time he spoke with Mustang there was a change in the tone of their relationship. It was his fault, he knew that. He didn’t know how to fix it though. Al made it more than clear that he didn’t blame Mustang for what was between them, but he wasn’t happy about it either.
Al had made him call for a car from the military instead of letting him walk on his own. Luckily, it was just Fuery, who’d left him with a reminder to call when he needed a ride home from the General’s house.
He knocked and let out a deep breath as he waited for the General to open up. He rubbed his thumb over the charm on his automail but dropped his hand when he heard someone unlocking the door.
“You shouldn’t just open up like that,” Ed said. “I could have been anybody.”
“Al called to say you were on the way over,” Mustang said as he looked at Ed. “Come in.”
He stepped back but Ed saw that Mustang pulled the glove off his hand and stuck it in his tee shirt pocket. At least he’d taken that precaution.
Mustang walked down the hallway to the front room and Ed felt himself relax just being there. It’d been six years since he’d shown up at Mustang’s house and demanded a place to stay for him and Al, but there was still such a sense of home that he couldn’t fight his instinctive feeling of safety there.
Mustang went straight to the couch and sat back, taking his half full glass from the side table.
“How many have you had?” Ed asked softly. The fire was still full in the fireplace and he took a seat at the other end of the couch. He didn’t want to be too close to Mustang for this conversation but he couldn’t make himself sit further away. This Mustang, in his loose sleep pants and tee shirt, was the most casual, the one that few ever got to see.
“One. I’m in the middle of a murder investigation and one of my subordinates is the next target. I’m not going to drink myself into oblivion. No matter how good the idea sounds at the moment.”
Ed flinched as he watched Mustang finish the glass in one long drink though. He stared at the empty cup for a moment, and then put it on the table.
“Why are you here, Ed?”
He didn’t look at Ed, but kept his eyes on the fire. It said something about how worried Mustang was that he was getting straight to it, instead of drawing it out.
“It’s not like Al made it sound.”
“Isn’t it?”
“No. Look, my life is… complicated. And I did that to myself. I made the choices that made this what it is, but I don’t hate my life. I don’t want to die.”
“What do you want, Ed?”
Ed stared down at his hands and thought of all the things he could say. Instead, he settled for the truth that he was able to give. “I want to be here.” It was the most he could say. Let Mustang take it however he wanted. It was true, no matter what version he read from it; here with Mustang, here in this house, here in Central, here in the military. Ed was where he wanted to be. That wasn’t the trouble.
He felt Mustang’s eyes on him and then the man stood. He offered Ed a hand up and he took it, looking up uncertainly. Mustang had turned as soon as Ed took his hand though. He curled his fingers around Ed’s and led him back through the house to the stairs.
Ed had no idea what was in Mustang’s head tonight. It wasn’t what it looked like though. As many times as Ed had dreamed of being led to Mustang’s bed, the man would never be with him while Winry was waiting back in Resembool.
Ed didn’t say anything as Mustang led him to the bed and sat him on it. He left the room then and Ed could hear water running in the adjoining bathroom. When Mustang came back in he had a bowl of water and a first aid kit.
“You didn’t let Al tend to you, did you?”
Ed was about to tell him Al had given him a stern lecture about relationships and then they’d started researching instead but then Mustang pushed his jacket off his shoulders and Ed just closed his eyes. Fingers deftly undid the buttons of his shirt and it was pushed away as well with a sharp intake of breath.
“This has to hurt, Ed.”
He felt Mustang’s fingers over what were sure to be some pretty heavy bruises on his left side. “I’ve had worse.”
Mustang let out a small snort of laughter. The water on the wash cloth was warm and Ed relaxed as Mustang wiped at his bruises.
“Not as bad as I thought, once you get rid of all the dirt,” Mustang teased.
“Yeah, well, I slept in the back of a hay truck last night and had to help unload it to the military horse ranch outside of Central.”
“That would explain a lot,” Mustang said softly. He started to wipe across Ed’s chest but then he stopped. Ed felt the fingers that brushed across the chest plate of his automail and he remembered the charm he’d embedded there. He’d gotten so used to it in the last few months he almost forgot it was there. Well, no. He touched it all the time, whenever things got too dark. When he needed the thought of Mustang to get him through the day. He just forgot that Mustang hadn’t seen it before.
“Ed.”
“I didn’t want to lose it,” was all he said.
He couldn’t make out the expression on the other man’s face but after a moment he went back to wiping across Ed’s chest. He stopped to wring out the cloth a few times but they didn’t speak after that. When he seemed happy with his work, he moved to Ed’s left arm where the bullet had grazed him.
When his wounds had been thoroughly cleaned Mustang began to bandage him up. His hands moved surely over his body. Ed couldn’t help the way his breath caught whenever his fingers moved a little too gently against his skin.
He was so damn tired of fighting this and when Mustang pushed him onto his back he let him. He didn’t even look up as he felt fingers at his belt. His boots and socks were removed, and then Mustang undid his pants and pulled them down his legs. He was left with nothing but his boxers but he didn’t feel vulnerable where he was.
“Ed,” Mustang finally broke the silence. Ed opened his eyes to see that Mustang had pulled the blankets back. Before Ed could say anything, he left the room.
Ed let out a deep breath and pulled himself up the bed and under the covers. He shouldn’t. If it were anyone else, with this between them, Ed knew exactly what would happen next. If it were anyone else, he’d come back in the room and take advantage of Ed’s vulnerability and consummate this thing that they’d been playing at for so long.
And Ed, after all this time, didn’t know how to say no to this.
It wasn’t anyone else though. Ed had no idea what would happen when he returned. And Ed knew he would. He pulled the blankets up to this shoulder, his back to the door, and took a deep breath. The bed smelled of Mustang, of smoke and brandy, of ink and paper and underneath that was something that he couldn’t name.
Mustang came back a few minutes later and closed the door, leaving them in darkness. “I called Al to let him know you were staying tonight,” he said quietly, though there was a tension in his voice that made Ed think the call with Al hadn’t been as simple as that.
He heard the soft rustle of fabric and went still when he felt Mustang on the bed behind him. A moment later, Mustang’s bare chest was pressed against his back. He felt the soft fabric of his loose pajama pants tucked behind Ed’s knees. His hand rested for a moment against Ed’s heart but then he moved and set the palm of his hand over the charm Ed had embedded in his chest plate. He kept it there a moment before he pressed his hand tighter over it, then began to run his fingers slowly back and forth across Ed’s chest. Ed’s breath caught in his throat as Mustang’s hand trickled lower, tracing across the waistband of his boxers from hip to hip. He couldn’t help the way his body shifted ever so slightly with each movement Roy made.
Roy’s nose was pressed behind Ed’s ear and his warm breath caressed Ed’s neck. Roy turned his palm against Ed’s stomach and pushed him closer and Ed could feel the hard length of him. He arched into the older man’s body and felt the trail of lips across his right shoulder where it met with his automail.
Ed swallowed against the lump in his throat but Roy held him close, so close he couldn’t move and after a moment the lips pulled away from his skin and he could feel Roy’s forehead against his shoulder. Then Roy pulled back so there was a small space between them.
As the minutes continued to pass by, the silence remained but Ed felt his heart slow and the events of the last few days caught up with him. He wanted so much; to damn Roy for stopping when he did, to thank him for it, to stay awake and feel this safe, to sleep knowing he wouldn’t have nightmares tonight.
He felt Mustang pull away again, to lie back onto his back but as he did, he gripped Ed’s hip and pulled him. Ed turned over and settled himself so that he was lying with his head on Roy’s shoulder, his nose pressed to his neck. The other man’s arms wrapped around him tightly and Ed sighed.
“Sleep, Ed.”
Ed threw his leg over Roy’s to get more comfortable and heard the small huff of laughter. If it was touched with bitter sorrow Ed refused to acknowledge it. Roy’s hand dropped to Ed’s waist and stayed there while the other began to run up and down his back. He stopped after a moment and pulled Ed’s ponytail out then began to stroke Ed’s hair.
He let out a deep sigh and closed his eyes. He’d always been wrong. He’d always thought that Roy’s house was the safest place to be, but now he knew better. It had nothing to do with the house. The safest place Ed had ever been was right here, in Roy’s arms.
He was on the edge of sleep when he felt the press of lips against his forehead. “Ed, you can’t do this to me again,” Roy whispered. “You can’t leave me. I can make do with the phone calls and seeing you in the office. I can continue to live for your goddamned letters. But when I thought he had you … when I thought you weren’t coming home today? I wouldn’t survive it, Fullmetal. You have to come home to Winry. Having the chance to hold you this one night, that would be enough. Just so long as you come home at the end of the day, that would be enough.”
He knew he wasn’t supposed to hear the confession so he kept still and just focused on the other man’s breathing. He didn’t know how long he lay there, but he knew he wasn’t the only one awake. Even with the lost hours though, when he woke it was still the best night’s sleep he’d had in years.
Roy didn’t wake up refreshed. To wake up, he’d have to sleep and the last thing he wanted to do, the one night he would be allowed to hold Ed in his arms, was to pass it by with sleep. He already regretted the many things he wasn’t able to do, but he’d meant his whispered words the night before.
So long as Ed came home, this was enough. To have held him in his arms one night was enough.
Long after Ed had fallen asleep, Roy had let his fingers run through his beautiful hair. Ed was practical with it and usually wore it tied back away from his face but Roy had always wondered what it would feel like to run his fingers through it, so he’d indulged. Ed seemed to have liked it while he was one the verge of sleep so he took it as permission to continue.
He didn’t know how many kisses he had pressed to the top of his head, nor had he allowed himself to count the quick press of lips that had been pressed to his neck with a murmured “Roy”. It filled his heart to hear his name on Ed’s tongue like that, sleepy and so full of trust, but it was double edged. It just reminded Roy of how good they could have been together, if things had turned out differently.
As the night skies had given way to the morning sun, Roy watched the horizon turn the first golden shade and thought how perfectly it looked against Ed’s skin. He thought, with an ache in his heart, about the small charm he’d bought in Xing that had now found a way into Ed’s automail
In his sleep Ed had sprawled over him even further, but he’d kept his nose buried in Roy’s neck. His hair was spread across Roy’s chest and he never wanted to move.
But temptation was too close a thing. He had played far too much of that line the night before. He had thought he could lie in bed with Ed and not feel the need to touch him, but he wasn’t a saint. He had only wanted to reassure himself with the feel of Ed’s heartbeat. He hadn’t been able to stop there though. He’d run his hands across Ed’s chest, down his torso, and teased for entirely too long across the expanse of his abdomen. And when he’d started to gain control of himself, to make himself stop long enough to remember who he was, he’d pulled Ed against him and the young man had arched so perfectly.
Ed fit his body so flawlessly that Roy had been unable to think for a moment. He’d let his lips taste across his shoulder to the edge of cool metal. That had finally brought him back to himself again and away from the dangerous pit he’d been about to leap into.
Ed would never have blamed him, if he had touched him last night. Roy didn’t think Ed would have blamed him if he’d made love to him either. But Ed would never forgive himself for it.
Roy walked a very fine line and it was Ed’s conscience that led him.
Now, the temptation was to lean down and kiss Ed awake, to taste his lips and see if they were as delicious as the small taste of skin he’d had last night. He didn’t even think Ed would really feel guilty over it if Roy did, but Roy had his limits and he knew them well.
A single kiss would steal his resolution and he would fall so far from his own moral grounds that he would never look back.
Instead, Roy carefully extricated himself from the sleeping man and slipped into the bathroom to shower. The morning ablutions steadied him and when he finished he dressed quickly. He made two quick phone calls and then made breakfast.
Ed still wasn’t down, so Roy went back up to his room and found his bed empty. He had a moment of panic before he heard the shower running. He knocked on the door and yelled, “Breakfast is ready.”
Roy went back down and stood by the bay window overlooking his back garden. He refused the padded seat that lined the window, but kept his vigilance as he sipped a cup of tea to try to still his thoughts. He wasn’t there long before he heard Ed moving around in the kitchen. To his surprise, Ed came out and sat in the window seat right in front of him, leaning back against him as he sipped his own tea. Roy closed his eyes, but didn’t say anything. Instead, he gripped his tea with one hand and let the other begin to stroke through Ed’s hair again. The young man turned his face into Roy’s stomach and simply rested there. The storm was still coming but here, in the eye of the hurricane, there was quiet. For a moment.
“Did you sleep well?” Roy finally managed to ask, though his voice sounded as though it had been ridden rough over gravel.
“Yeah,” Ed answered quietly. “I almost forgot what it was like, to sleep a night through without the nightmares.”
“Glad I could be of assistance.”
There was a knock at the door and Ed tensed. “My ride,” Roy explained, “and your brother. I asked Al over to have breakfast with you since I need to head to the office.”
“You aren’t staying with us?”
Roy let out a deep breath. “I think, all things considered, the less time I spend in a room with Alphonse at the moment, the better.”
He backed away then and ignored the question in Fullmetal’s eyes. When he got to the door Al smiled carefully at him. “He’s in the front. I took the liberty of making some breakfast for the two of you, but feel free to eat anything you like. I’m sure you remember where everything is?”
Al smiled at the reminder of the month they’d spent living under the General’s roof all those years ago.
“Roy, is he okay?”
Roy sighed, but the use of his name felt like truce. “He’s bruised on the left side and a bullet grazed his left arm so I tended that last night. He slept without nightmares, he said.” He understood the implication in his words, that Roy hadn’t been with him the whole night, but so long as he didn’t actually lie he could live with himself. He wasn’t sure his relationship with Alphonse would survive any more of the truth.
“Did you sleep at all?”
“I had more important things to do.”
“Like what?” Al asked.
“Protecting him,” he said softly. “And I have to go or Fuery and I will both be late to the office and Hawkeye will kill me.”
Al nodded. “Thank you. For taking care of him.”
“You need only ask, either of you.”
“Hey Al! Are you coming to eat, or what?” Ed yelled through the house.
Roy let out a huff of a laugh and Alphonse did the same.
“See you soon, General.”
As he walked in, Roy walked away from the house, from his home, and towards what was sure to be another long day.