Slut
yesterday I cried honest tears with Spider about my dad & mom &
released some old shit--
and then felt better able to deal with Stephen & Moth & all these guys--
I wanted to sleep alone in the van but
stayed on the couch with Moth instead-mistake, I think,
acting like his girlfriend--I’m just
the girl of the moment & I know it--
there’s nothing real between us nothing integral or lasting
he wants to hide me from his family & his exgirlfriend &
while he treats me with tenderness & affection it isn’t eternal--
Stephen calls me home--
I don’t know if I will keep traveling with these guys
it seems likely they’ve been revolutionary for me--
Spider & I had a long great connective moment last night
then he absently rested his hand on my thigh & I
intentionally picked it up and set it on his own leg-
oh sorry he said & I said it’s alright
because it was--his hand felt
gentle & affectionate, but in a direction
I don’t want to go with him.
He’s childish & overbearing & stubborn & tantrum-oriented
various to the extreme irrational & silly &
I love him deeply for his passion wisdom insanity sight-
I would never want to date him or be romantic with him.
I told him there are 2 reasons I hang out with men:
1) I have been a slut for a long time & I enjoy the attention,
and I’ll cop to that right away
2) Men give me an example of how to be accountable, integral, respectable, honest.
They’re there with what’s up, while
women generally try to manipulate what’s up.
I respect men.
As I try to not be a slut, as I evolve
past sluttism, men are my greatest example.
released some old shit--
and then felt better able to deal with Stephen & Moth & all these guys--
I wanted to sleep alone in the van but
stayed on the couch with Moth instead-mistake, I think,
acting like his girlfriend--I’m just
the girl of the moment & I know it--
there’s nothing real between us nothing integral or lasting
he wants to hide me from his family & his exgirlfriend &
while he treats me with tenderness & affection it isn’t eternal--
Stephen calls me home--
I don’t know if I will keep traveling with these guys
it seems likely they’ve been revolutionary for me--
Spider & I had a long great connective moment last night
then he absently rested his hand on my thigh & I
intentionally picked it up and set it on his own leg-
oh sorry he said & I said it’s alright
because it was--his hand felt
gentle & affectionate, but in a direction
I don’t want to go with him.
He’s childish & overbearing & stubborn & tantrum-oriented
various to the extreme irrational & silly &
I love him deeply for his passion wisdom insanity sight-
I would never want to date him or be romantic with him.
I told him there are 2 reasons I hang out with men:
1) I have been a slut for a long time & I enjoy the attention,
and I’ll cop to that right away
2) Men give me an example of how to be accountable, integral, respectable, honest.
They’re there with what’s up, while
women generally try to manipulate what’s up.
I respect men.
As I try to not be a slut, as I evolve
past sluttism, men are my greatest example.