(no subject)
I wonder if this is what it was like for her. I wonder if all the bottled thoughts and battle for self control ate away her core until she broke. And if she couldn't handle it, what's going to happen to me? How am I any better? I've seen her mistakes but I don't know how to learn from them. My greatest fear is to be like my mother. I want to slit my throat every time I say words that sound like hers, put a bullet through my head when I think thoughts like hers, because it makes me feel like I'm that much closer to becoming her.
My mother wasn't a bad person. She just tried too hard to be what she wasn't. Aren't I doing the same in not wanting to be her?
My mother wasn't a bad person. She just tried too hard to be what she wasn't. Aren't I doing the same in not wanting to be her?