(no subject)
-shrug- I guess I won't make this one private, no reason to really.
His lack of sense of adventure is really weighing me down. Whenever anything "adventurous" comes up and he turns it down, I just get this really heavy hopeless feeling. I hope I can at least get him to try some things, instead of an instant "no". Otherwise, it's going to be extremely depressing. I got really down before when he told me he's afraid of motorcycles. And today, I felt so crushed when he told me he hates horses. That hurt so bad. For years whenever anyone has asked me the age old question "where do you see yourself in 10 years" my response has always been "Out in the country, but not too far from the city, with a couple horses and a bunch of dogs. Maybe a motorcycle too, but I don't think I could ever drive it." That's always where I've seen myself. And I know this early something like that shouldn't matter. It's not like I'm running off and marrying him tomorrow. But... it was still quite a blow to my heart, and it lingers in my head often.
On another note, today has been a pretty bad day. Subway was ridiculously busy. We had 142 customers during the 4 hours I was there, and there were only 3 of us working. Some creepy guy told me I have pretty eyes, then stood there and stared at me for like 5 minutes. I dropped a sub and got yelled at. My glasses came, and I hate them. I look like a grandma. I'm dirty and I need a shower but I don't want to move. I start my driving lessons tomorrow. Cassie & Josh are going to be home any minute. She always has -something- to bitch at me about, and there's no arguing with her. You can't win. She just doesn't stop. And now Josh jumps in and takes her side about everything too, which, suddenly, means I'm getting ganged up on. And I like how quiet it is right now. And I look gross and don't want to be seen.
His lack of sense of adventure is really weighing me down. Whenever anything "adventurous" comes up and he turns it down, I just get this really heavy hopeless feeling. I hope I can at least get him to try some things, instead of an instant "no". Otherwise, it's going to be extremely depressing. I got really down before when he told me he's afraid of motorcycles. And today, I felt so crushed when he told me he hates horses. That hurt so bad. For years whenever anyone has asked me the age old question "where do you see yourself in 10 years" my response has always been "Out in the country, but not too far from the city, with a couple horses and a bunch of dogs. Maybe a motorcycle too, but I don't think I could ever drive it." That's always where I've seen myself. And I know this early something like that shouldn't matter. It's not like I'm running off and marrying him tomorrow. But... it was still quite a blow to my heart, and it lingers in my head often.
On another note, today has been a pretty bad day. Subway was ridiculously busy. We had 142 customers during the 4 hours I was there, and there were only 3 of us working. Some creepy guy told me I have pretty eyes, then stood there and stared at me for like 5 minutes. I dropped a sub and got yelled at. My glasses came, and I hate them. I look like a grandma. I'm dirty and I need a shower but I don't want to move. I start my driving lessons tomorrow. Cassie & Josh are going to be home any minute. She always has -something- to bitch at me about, and there's no arguing with her. You can't win. She just doesn't stop. And now Josh jumps in and takes her side about everything too, which, suddenly, means I'm getting ganged up on. And I like how quiet it is right now. And I look gross and don't want to be seen.