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sry about not updating all.Ive had a pretty rough time of it lately.Well the guy that u all noe about and who broke my heart a couple months back ended up making me realize how stupid ive been.I never shouldve gotten involved with him because i was just a second best for him...and i don't deserve that.And even though in my heart I STILL feel pain in the way we ended...i know i'll be okay.I just rly feel that this needed to happen so I could mature.And now I noe not to be so trusting.To not believe what someone tells you just because you think they'd never hurt you...because the truth is...the ones who you trust the most are probably the ones who will hurt you the most.Because they noe you care too much about them to oust them out of your life.And thats smart of them.Because that really is how people work.And I'm getting through this...I'm doing this day by day.He graduated monday.So I wont be seeing him everyday anymore.I doubt I'll be seeing him until maybe dec. when the winter concert arrives.So that gives me healing time.And that gives me space.And thats okay with me.Because it's what I want.It's what I need.I just wish so much that I was that girl that he treated like a diamond.That I was that girl he brought roses for.That I was his first...not his second.