rule: to attract a specific woman you must be attractive in general
I'm reading an ASF manuscript entitled 'The Blueprint'. It is a really compelling and interesting look into male/female relationship dynamics and really makes you realize all the bullshit you tell yourself about there only being one true love and antagonizing over that one girl just isn't worth your time.
In fact, doing so makes you less attractive.
No wonder I struggle romantically. All I've been doing my entire life is making myself less attractive to women. Hell, even writing this (admission of weakness) is a deliberate act of self-sabotage that decreases my perceived value to women.
I guess that's how we'll know I've actually learned something from this, if I stop writing in LJ altogether.
edit: holy fucking shit this is the answer
"DEFINITION: “REACTIVE” (II)
To be “reactive” towards someone means that your normal sense of balance is being affected by them, so that the usual rhythm of how you think and feel and act is being thrown off.
Being reactive is not just a specific behaviour - it’s any behaviour that comes from a reactive state of mind.
When people feel reactive towards you, it could be manifested in a variety of ways.
The way they feel about themselves might be tied up in your responses to them. They might feel a sort of underlying alertness towards you, and find themselves a little bit more tuned in and aware of you than the other people in the room. They might value your acceptance, approval, and touch - and find themselves emotionally deflated at the possibility of losing it."
That's me. That is exactly what I am. Reactive. So how do I become...proactive?
In fact, doing so makes you less attractive.
No wonder I struggle romantically. All I've been doing my entire life is making myself less attractive to women. Hell, even writing this (admission of weakness) is a deliberate act of self-sabotage that decreases my perceived value to women.
I guess that's how we'll know I've actually learned something from this, if I stop writing in LJ altogether.
edit: holy fucking shit this is the answer
"DEFINITION: “REACTIVE” (II)
To be “reactive” towards someone means that your normal sense of balance is being affected by them, so that the usual rhythm of how you think and feel and act is being thrown off.
Being reactive is not just a specific behaviour - it’s any behaviour that comes from a reactive state of mind.
When people feel reactive towards you, it could be manifested in a variety of ways.
The way they feel about themselves might be tied up in your responses to them. They might feel a sort of underlying alertness towards you, and find themselves a little bit more tuned in and aware of you than the other people in the room. They might value your acceptance, approval, and touch - and find themselves emotionally deflated at the possibility of losing it."
That's me. That is exactly what I am. Reactive. So how do I become...proactive?