the mystery of the girl with the personality
Background: Today was Jaime's first birthday party, and since the theme was Olympics, guests were asked to come in their sports attire. Most people came in just simple sports shirts and rubber shoes. There was a friend of Kuya Jondi's who was dressed in taekwondo uniform. She seemed to be a good friend of my brother's, and in the photo booth, the photographer took a couple of pictures of her while she posed like a kung fu artist. Nothing exag, just like *hai-ya!* poses.
So when we got home, we were looking over the pictures:
Mom: Sino ba 'tong girl na 'to?
Kuya: Friend ko. Si Jess*.
Mom: Doktora 'to? Ganito na pala yung mga doktora ngayon.
Me: Huh? Why?
Mom: Well, noon doctors were...conservative?
Me: *thinking* My doctor friends aren't super conservative naman.
Mom: Ah. *looks at more pictures* I swear! Tingnan mo siya! Hindi ba siya weird?
Me: Weird?! Bakit weird?
Mom: Kasi naka-costume siya. (This, from my mother, who always dresses to the frigging nines in her monthly costume parties.)
Me: O, tapos? We asked them to come in sports attire nga e.
Mom: E mag-isa lang siya.
Kuya: Hindi kasi puwede yung ibang friends ko e.
Me: O, tapos?
Mom: Nag-pose pa.
Me: O, tapos? I'd do the same thing naman if it were my friend.
Mom: I know, kilala kita e. (to Kuya) May boyfriend na ba yan?
Kuya: Wala.
Mom: *looks smugly at me*
CAN SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN THIS TO ME?! I'm sick and tried of apologizing to my family for not having a boyfriend, because I apparently have too much personality. CAN SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN why girls who are game, outgoing, and independent are considered damaged goods by guys (or why my family thinks so)?! Don't give me the "you're great!" shit, I know I'm a good person, blah blah. Why does my family (although they will never admit it) keep insinuating that I need to knock off a few brain cells and zip my mouth closed so I can get a boyfriend?
Again: Can someone please explain why girls who are game, outgoing, and independent are considered damaged goods by guys (or why my family thinks so)? Guys, preferably.
Here are some possible reasons I've drawn up. Is it because:
A) A girl with personality is not mysterious, and guys like mystery?
B) Guys don't like being in the background and so they don't want to be outshadowed by girls with stronger personalities?
C) Guys feel that independence is inherently a male characteristic, and thus they don't find it attractive?
You may assent to one of the choices above or provide your own theories. Please help me comprehend. I've run out of things to say to my family, who is deadset on transforming me into a quiet, un-opinionated, dumb girl because they're worried I'm never going to get married. MY GOD. IS THIS MY ONLY CHOICE? TO DUMB MYSELF UP JUST TO GET A BOYFRIEND?!
Agh. But anyway. Please explain so I can understand.
*Names have been changed to protect the innocent and, apparently, the fiercely independent.