Has to be done really - the Catmas Carols.

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Feline Wonderland

(To ‘Winter Wonderland' As sung by Puck.)

Bowl of cream in the kitchen
In the dish, wet food glistening
A wonderful sight, we’re hungry tonight
We live in a feline wonderland

Gone away is the blue bird (*burp*)
In that tree is a new bird
He’s looking so glum cos his friend’s in my tum
We live in a feline wonderland!

In the meadow we can find a fieldmouse
Take him home alive to have for tea!
We’ll have lots of fun with Mr Fieldmouse
Until we’re caught by Mum, who sets him free
(not fair)

Later on we’ll perspire
As we snooze by the fire
With our paws in the air and a contented air
We live in a feline wonderland!

Oh Christmas Tree: As sung by Baloo

Oh Christmas Tree, oh Christmas Tree
With presents laid beneath
Oh Christmas Tree, oh Christmas Tree
My favourite place to sleep
I helped to wrap them, tooth and claw
I pounced on ribbon, paper tore
Oh Christmas Tree, oh Christmas Tree
Your presents are so comfy.

Oh Christmas Tree, oh Christmas Tree
Your tinsel is so shiny
Oh Christmas Tree, oh Christmas Tree
Your baubles, they entice me
They dangle, out of reach of claws
They look so tempting to my paws
Oh Christmas Tree, oh Christmas Tree
Your trunk, it looks so sturdy
Oh Christmas Tree, oh Christmas Tree
Your branches now are bending
Oh Christmas Tree, oh Christmas Tree
My pouncing I’m repenting
My position’s precarious
The pies think it’s hilarious
Oh Christmas Tree, oh Christmas Tree
Your branches now are breaking

Oh Christmas Tree, oh Christmas Tree
You’re lying on the floor
Oh Christmas Tree, oh Christmas Tree
I think I broke a claw
My lust for baubles I regret
I’ll lose my place as favourite pet
Oh Christmas Tree, oh Christmas Tree…
I’ll blame it all on Puck.

The 12 Days of Catmas
On the twelfth day of Catmas, Santa Paws gave to me:

Twelve rats a-running
Eleven steaks a-frying
Ten frogs a-leaping
Nine toys for pouncing
Eight cows for milking*
Seven salmon swimming
Six lame mice playing
Five chicken wings!
Four low-flying birds
Three cooked hens
Two limping doves
And a partridge breast all for me!

*And steak. And cheese.

Hark, the Kibble
(To ‘Hark, the Herald!’ Angels Sing. As sung by Stewie.)

“Hark, the kibble!” Brown ears prick,
“Glory to the shopping trip!”
Beef and fowl and fish there’ll be
But for Christmas, not for me
My dried cat food, though quite pleasant
Can’t compare to steak or pheasant
If I wish to dine on cream
Needs must I devise a scheme!
“Hark, the kibble”? Come what may
I’ll have steak on Christmas Day.

First I need a trusty stooge
Vesp’s too dim to be of use.
Tangle’s up the Christmas tree
She looks sweet, she’ll do for me!
I’ll get her to run distraction,
Meanwhile I’ll spring into action.
Raid the bags and steal the cheese,
Grab the steak then swiftly flee
I’ll get turkey, goose and game,
All she’ll get is all the blame.

“Hurry, Tangle, come here quick!
Mum’s tired from her Tesco trip.
So she’ll make a cup of tea,
‘Ere she puts the bags away.
While you wind around her feet,
I shall pounce upon the meat.
Trail some tinsel in your tail,
Pat her toes; this plan can’t fail!”
Mum’s distracted, so it’s time
Now to carry out my crime!

Swiftly claw into bag one
Crisps and cat food, that’s all wrong!
Bag two’s full of sprouts and nuts
Tofu, soya - that’s the lot!
Seems, to my great consternation
Mum’s become a vegetarian!
Woe is me! I am forlorn.
Who wants steak that’s made from quorn?
“Hark, the kibble!” Woefully munch.
Looks like you’re my Christmas lunch.