Just a matter of optimizing.
For a long time, when discussing responsibilities, other activists have told me "I had to realize that there is only so much one person can do, alone or as part of a group."
But where do you draw the line? Where do I? I fear drawing it too close, to set my standards too low, to cop out. I could always labour more, organize more, act more.
But recently, working-working-working, a metalwork business, a docuentary, peripheral involvement in a startup, getting published, old struggles their heads from the mud of history, studying, cooking, exercising, and dating, I've started doing as much as I can do in a day. Planned, methodical, constructive.
I should say "As much as I can do in a day if I want to do it over the long term." I can and do do more when I abuse my own health, but this usually is a short-term gain with a long-term loss.
Doing this maximum shows me the limits of what I as one person can do. It shows where potential ends and hubris begins.
From here, it is not about doing more, but doing it smarter, and with my whole self, weighing, prioritizing, choosing. Finding time to rest. Knowing when to push. And not feeling guilty for not doing more. Rather, feeling cunning about how I could do what I do better. (Cunning is one of my favorite states of mind.)
My life is pretty good right now. Not "soon," not "eventually," not "someday," now. It's just a matter of optimizing.
But where do you draw the line? Where do I? I fear drawing it too close, to set my standards too low, to cop out. I could always labour more, organize more, act more.
But recently, working-working-working, a metalwork business, a docuentary, peripheral involvement in a startup, getting published, old struggles their heads from the mud of history, studying, cooking, exercising, and dating, I've started doing as much as I can do in a day. Planned, methodical, constructive.
I should say "As much as I can do in a day if I want to do it over the long term." I can and do do more when I abuse my own health, but this usually is a short-term gain with a long-term loss.
Doing this maximum shows me the limits of what I as one person can do. It shows where potential ends and hubris begins.
From here, it is not about doing more, but doing it smarter, and with my whole self, weighing, prioritizing, choosing. Finding time to rest. Knowing when to push. And not feeling guilty for not doing more. Rather, feeling cunning about how I could do what I do better. (Cunning is one of my favorite states of mind.)
My life is pretty good right now. Not "soon," not "eventually," not "someday," now. It's just a matter of optimizing.