(no subject)
Dear Bear,
I picked up a copy of Butch is a Noun and really enjoyed it. I saw your website and I think it's nifty that you have a contact button for "responses, disagreement, further thoughts, personal questions or any other communication."
I like how you added the chapter "Faggot Butch" partially in response to another's objections. So I'm writing you to suggest another amendment in future writing you do.
When you use "XY" or "male-assigned" I gathered that you are doing so to distinguish cissexed males from transsexed males: usually part of stating that many FtM males can be butch and so can the occasional, exemplary non-FtM man - maybe. I gather than you mean that there is something about being an XY or male-assigned man that interferes with being a butch.
The problem I have is that the terms "XY" and "male assigned" also include male-to-female-and-or-anything-else transgendered people who are definitely not men. I feel that this choice of words either invisibilives anyone in this field who might have been labelled "man" in the past but who now identifies as a butch, or that we cannot exist.
This bothers me: I like the "soft butch" space so much that I changed my sex to get here, and I am not alone in this. And I do not think that for those of us who started out male-assigned and changed gender, that being XY makes any of us less of a butch.
We MtF butches are hard to spot. Very hard. It turns out that presenting as butch is one of the best ways to not be read as a male-to-female(-ish) transsexual. We are assumed to not exist, and so we are never read as we are. This can be nice when we are read as (assumed-to-be-female-assigned) butches. At other times, we are read as FtM men, cissexed men, somewhere on the (tacitly assumed to be female-assigned) genderqueer spectrum, or more than one of the above.
This is so effective that even when I try to succinctly out myself to people who don't know me from before, I am often unsuccessful. When I say "I am changing my sex," even to a table full of transgendered people, they assume that I am going towards being a man. Actually I don't need to say anything - a lot of people see me and think "FtM." Nope! Not a guy! Been there. Done that. Much happier here.
In other words, we walk among you, undetected - despite our efforts. And in part because we know that there are many butch-inclusive spaces are found within dyke spaces, and we know that many dyke spaces are not welcoming to MtFs.
People who do know me from before will often say "my you're looking good." I think it's because I look happier. When I tell them, "I'm changing my sex," the lights go on, but even then many assume that I am just either just starting, or that I am taking a day off. They never notice my breasts. Sometimes, after hearing my voice, they'll ask me if I have a cold. Other people just assume that I'm my own sister - perhaps this also explains why "my brother" was always reading up on gender issues .
I think these are common experiences. I say "I think" because it is very hard to find a good sample of MtF butches with whom to swap notes. This is in part because we are hard to spot, and in part because it seems that we are few. The ones that I have found, I have directed here . If this interests you, you are welcome to come by to read, and ask any questions you like.
One common experience seems to be this. When we were trying to identify as male, most of us were more quiet, unexpressive and shut-in than we are now. When we decided to transition, we assumed that we'd be "a bit of a tomboy - maybe a little dykey." A few months into coming out and-or transition, this was revised to "a tomboy" and/or "pretty dykey," then "androgynous?" Eventually many of us realized that, once safely out of the realm of male, we presented more butchy than when we were trying to identify as male. Now, butch behaviour confirms who we are, rather than serving as proof of male-ness. For example, this is the first time in my life that I've felt comfortable wearing a tie. Others have developed an interest in being handy. And so on.
I figured you might be interested in part because you seem responsive to your audience, but also because other XX-people who inhabit this rough gendery space seem to find that there's something confirming about people transitioning to here, rather than just transitioning out of here.
I know that I would be thrilled if any future editions of Butch is a Noun could have a sentence or two that reflects this. Or if you could just use a little more caution around terms like "XY" or "male-assigned," that would be lovely.
Otherwise it's a fine book, and I very much enjoyed it.
Sincerely,
I picked up a copy of Butch is a Noun and really enjoyed it. I saw your website and I think it's nifty that you have a contact button for "responses, disagreement, further thoughts, personal questions or any other communication."
I like how you added the chapter "Faggot Butch" partially in response to another's objections. So I'm writing you to suggest another amendment in future writing you do.
When you use "XY" or "male-assigned" I gathered that you are doing so to distinguish cissexed males from transsexed males: usually part of stating that many FtM males can be butch and so can the occasional, exemplary non-FtM man - maybe. I gather than you mean that there is something about being an XY or male-assigned man that interferes with being a butch.
The problem I have is that the terms "XY" and "male assigned" also include male-to-female-and-or-anything-else transgendered people who are definitely not men. I feel that this choice of words either invisibilives anyone in this field who might have been labelled "man" in the past but who now identifies as a butch, or that we cannot exist.
This bothers me: I like the "soft butch" space so much that I changed my sex to get here, and I am not alone in this. And I do not think that for those of us who started out male-assigned and changed gender, that being XY makes any of us less of a butch.
We MtF butches are hard to spot. Very hard. It turns out that presenting as butch is one of the best ways to not be read as a male-to-female(-ish) transsexual. We are assumed to not exist, and so we are never read as we are. This can be nice when we are read as (assumed-to-be-female-assigned) butches. At other times, we are read as FtM men, cissexed men, somewhere on the (tacitly assumed to be female-assigned) genderqueer spectrum, or more than one of the above.
This is so effective that even when I try to succinctly out myself to people who don't know me from before, I am often unsuccessful. When I say "I am changing my sex," even to a table full of transgendered people, they assume that I am going towards being a man. Actually I don't need to say anything - a lot of people see me and think "FtM." Nope! Not a guy! Been there. Done that. Much happier here.
In other words, we walk among you, undetected - despite our efforts. And in part because we know that there are many butch-inclusive spaces are found within dyke spaces, and we know that many dyke spaces are not welcoming to MtFs.
People who do know me from before will often say "my you're looking good." I think it's because I look happier. When I tell them, "I'm changing my sex," the lights go on, but even then many assume that I am just either just starting, or that I am taking a day off. They never notice my breasts. Sometimes, after hearing my voice, they'll ask me if I have a cold. Other people just assume that I'm my own sister - perhaps this also explains why "my brother" was always reading up on gender issues .
I think these are common experiences. I say "I think" because it is very hard to find a good sample of MtF butches with whom to swap notes. This is in part because we are hard to spot, and in part because it seems that we are few. The ones that I have found, I have directed here . If this interests you, you are welcome to come by to read, and ask any questions you like.
One common experience seems to be this. When we were trying to identify as male, most of us were more quiet, unexpressive and shut-in than we are now. When we decided to transition, we assumed that we'd be "a bit of a tomboy - maybe a little dykey." A few months into coming out and-or transition, this was revised to "a tomboy" and/or "pretty dykey," then "androgynous?" Eventually many of us realized that, once safely out of the realm of male, we presented more butchy than when we were trying to identify as male. Now, butch behaviour confirms who we are, rather than serving as proof of male-ness. For example, this is the first time in my life that I've felt comfortable wearing a tie. Others have developed an interest in being handy. And so on.
I figured you might be interested in part because you seem responsive to your audience, but also because other XX-people who inhabit this rough gendery space seem to find that there's something confirming about people transitioning to here, rather than just transitioning out of here.
I know that I would be thrilled if any future editions of Butch is a Noun could have a sentence or two that reflects this. Or if you could just use a little more caution around terms like "XY" or "male-assigned," that would be lovely.
Otherwise it's a fine book, and I very much enjoyed it.
Sincerely,