(no subject)
In my pocket is a canceled ticket for U-Pass fraud.
(No, the fellow in the picture is not my twin brother.)
That came as a bit of a surprise.
Surprises? Sure. I'm going to toss out some gendery things what have surprised me to date, and poke at implications.
1. Different people perceive my gender differently at different times
“Pardon me sir, but I was wondering if you could spare some change.”
“Sorry, I didn't realize you weren't both guys”
“Excuse me sir... uh... sorry, miss”
“Our database shows two residents at your address: 'Jane' and “Graham.' Uh, you are...?”
“Is Sasha Graham's sister? They look a lot alike.”
“I still don't see any difference between now and before.”
"That's her burrito."
One expects appearing as a given gender to be static: you look like a girl, or you look like a boy, or it's hard to tell: you, and/or the universe, picks one and it sticks. But this is not the case. Rather others' perceptions are dependent on a variety of factors:
A: Clothes
It seems that I get “he'd” more when I'm in a dress than cargo pants and a flannel shirt.
Odd...I think that the many people's thought-train goes something like this:
1. See someone gender-indeterminate
2. Are they wearing a dress or other obviously feminine attire? If so, they're a man in woman's clothes
3. If they're wearing pants and gender-neutral clothes, then they're probably a lesbian
I'm not exactly a lesbian (although I've been to Greece once), but I'm uncomfortably smug with how the general lack of education plays out in my favour. It must suck for all those straight tomboys and feminine transwomen though.
Clothes also influence my behaviour. Stick me in a dress, and watch me delicately recline to the side (possibly forgetting about line-of-sight, to give everyone a view of my underwear). Boots and jeans and I'm stomping around. A silk jacket, and I'm elegant.
B: The company or location that I'm in:
When I am with the lads on the Skytrain, I am presumably another lad.
When I am in the women's washroom, I am, of course, a woman.
A couple months back when I went to a garage sale near the drive that seemed to have every queer female-assigned* person on the drive, it was assumed** that I was another local dyke.
I am told that in the past, many people who knew me well saw me as male in theory, but gender-neutral in social interaction. (“Not playing by any conventional set of social rules)
At a moving sale at the apartment of a lesbian couple, where I sat down to pour through 30 years of books on queer gender thought, from Andrea Dworkin to Kate Bornstein, the owners referred to as a “young gentleman.” This is the same response I get from a lot of older people invested in queer issues where “young gentleman,” means “I want to help validate your transition from Female to Male. Go get 'em tiger!”
*”assigned” meaning that's what it says on your original birth certificate
** Correctly!
C: Lighting
As I said earlier, the direction and intensity of light affects my appearance. More light makes fine visual details stand out and overwhelm things like voice and movement less. Overhead light brings out my male-looking brow and jaw. Indirect light gives a softer appearance that highlights nothing. At night, I'm an androgynous shadow.
This reminds me of an old Animation called Maze, wherein a main character had two people in one (morphable) body; male and female. They switched off at dawn and dusk.
Implications
This doesn't just apply to transgender people - heck, this doesn't just apply to gender. The perception of every seemingly static category around us, be it our age, height, weight, class or race, is dependent on the context of the viewer, and their responses affect our understanding of ourselves and society.
I'm still trying to figure out what affects my responses to myself.
Have something to add? I'd like to hear you.
Theres' a comment button around here somewhere...